Will they think I don't love my baby?

[Expecting1]

I've been thinking more and more about it lately and I'm SO worried I'll have to stay in hospital alone A bit of back story as to why - Hubs and I got together on the 20th Oct, We spent the 20th, 21st & 22nd nights apart, Ever since the 23rd Oct 2009 we have only spent ONE night apart (I was in hosp after a car crash and I cried ALL night!!!) Since Jan 2010 He hasn't worked (Back injury) and I haven't worked since Aug 2010 (I moved over to carers pension as His back was worsening) So since early August 2010 We have not spent even half a day apart.....
I'm so worried if he gets told to go home for the night that I'll be bawling my eyes out and the nurses will think I don't love my baby
My mum was saying "you'll be so tired blah blah blah" That's the problem.... sleeping without him, waking up thinking he's going to be there and he's not And especially that first night with Tanner, I don't want him to miss out but he'll just be sitting at home all alone
I have always been a 'cryer' it's not the hormones

 

[SpotlessMind]

It's too bad they'd force you to spend the night in the hospital alone, but no, they won't think you don't love your baby! First, you may surprise yourself and get so caught up in your newborn that you won't miss him as much as you think you will, so don't work yourself up too much just yet! Second, after birth is such a hormonal and crazy time I'm sure they have patients who cry even without a reason. You won't be the first! I'm sure all will be just fine

 

[Fortune Cooki]

Crying can also be interpreted as joy. I think most women cry during birth anyway, either from the pain or when they get to see their baby. No one is going to know what is going through your head.

 

[KelseyK]

I'm sorry you feel that way! They won't think that! And if anyone does who cares! They don't know you or your situation I think it's really sweet.

Just curious, does your hospital not let your DH stay the night with you? They do here so I'm just curious.

 

[july2013]

No, they won't think that. I'm sure they will understand. You're bound to be overly hormonal and emotional, and missing your hubby is very understandable!

 

[iwantabub]

I am in the same spot... Me and dh haven't spent a night apart since we got together nearly 5 years ago...
He will be staying in hospital at night with me

He doesn't care if he has to stay and not sleep he said he's staying...
Then he is going home at 9am or so when my mum gets there for a shower and sleep and then coming back at about 4-5 in the arvo...

I can't imagine a night without him either... I hope u figure something out but I do agree with others that u will probably be so wrapped up with your new bubba u might not care as much

 

[CatherineK]

I think that it's so horrible that new fathers are sent away and not allowed to spend the night with their brand new baby. That wouldn't be acceptable here. They are able to stay as long as the mom and baby stay.

 

[Expecting1]

Unfortunately as soon as we're both settled we'll be moved to the general ward to clear up the birthing suite and the ward is a shared ward so he will only be allowed during visiting hours because we have to "think of the other patients" so what a screaming baby isn't a bother
That's why I'm crossing my fingers for a super late at night /early morning birth more time with all three of us.

Thank you, you've made be feel much better, hopefully I can't stop smiling at Tanner and don't have any tears for sadness

 

[Sparkles237]

it's the same here and i'm dreading it, i really think its unfair hospitals kick the dads out after a certain time to let the mother "rest" i'd get more rest if he was there the whole time!!
Thats one of the main reasons i want to give birth in a birth centre as he will be allowed to stay the whole time until we are discharged which i think it should be like that everywhere, after all it is their baby too.

 

[MrsTurner2012]

This is why I want a home birth. So that DH doesn't have to miss out on babies first hours/days an we don't have to spend any time apart.

Plus once we've just been through the ordeal of giving birth it's nice to have that support there I you just want a nap or take a shower.

Last time I was in hospital alone with my DS I couldn't leave his side because there was no one to watch him and I was filthy... Really needed to take a shower so I chanced it.
Got naked... Heard his screaming! As its a shared ward u fel guilty. I had to wrap a towel round me and run to him with blood dripping down my legs.

Something I do not want to go through again

Is there any way to request a private room so he can stay?

 

[Whatme]

We have a toddler at home so my oh will have to take care of her as soon as he can, when you've given birth it won't be such a big deal, I promise.. He'll be tired as well, so it's best he goes home and gets a good nights sleep to prepare for the months of sleepless nights,
In the uk the maternity wards have such a quick turn around you'll prob go home the next day anyway, it'll all be fine.

 

[Expecting1]

it's the same here and i'm dreading it, i really think its unfair hospitals kick the dads out after a certain time to let the mother "rest" i'd get more rest if he was there the whole time!!
Thats one of the main reasons i want to give birth in a birth centre as he will be allowed to stay the whole time until we are discharged which i think it should be like that everywhere, after all it is their baby too.

I agree! I already feel bad for him because I get to carry Tanner AND I'm going to breast feed (no "trying" I WILL do *positive attitude* ) so kicking him out hours after he's net his son makes me sad. I hope you can get into a birth centre

 

[Expecting1]

This is why I want a home birth. So that DH doesn't have to miss out on babies first hours/days an we don't have to spend any time apart.

Plus once we've just been through the ordeal of giving birth it's nice to have that support there I you just want a nap or take a shower.

Last time I was in hospital alone with my DS I couldn't leave his side because there was no one to watch him and I was filthy... Really needed to take a shower so I chanced it.
Got naked... Heard his screaming! As its a shared ward u fel guilty. I had to wrap a towel round me and run to him with blood dripping down my legs.

Something I do not want to go through again

Is there any way to request a private room so he can stay?

I'm sorry you had to go through that that's really not fair

I was picturing wheeling his little cot into the bathroom with me haha

I'm going to try to see if we can stay in the birthing suite which is fully set up to house 2 adults and baby. It shares a bathroom with one other suite so that's a plus..... BUT if another woman in labour comes in I'll be shooed off to the ward. Hopefully if its an after hours birth so we can go home by night the next day

 

[babydevil1989]

I know you wont believe me but after the birth you wont really mind - at my hospital dads are allowed to stay on the ward but OH still went home because he hadnt slept for 4 days! I had myself and baby to concentrate on and try and get some sleep.
This time we have a toddler so he wont be able to stay anyway - even if you do end up crying they wont think anything of it.
As for OH missing out on the first night honestly babies dont do that much and if your trying to breastfeed he wont be able to help anyway, its much better that he gets a decent sleep before the chaos starts at home

 

[babydevil1989]

This is why I want a home birth. So that DH doesn't have to miss out on babies first hours/days an we don't have to spend any time apart.

Plus once we've just been through the ordeal of giving birth it's nice to have that support there I you just want a nap or take a shower.

Last time I was in hospital alone with my DS I couldn't leave his side because there was no one to watch him and I was filthy... Really needed to take a shower so I chanced it.
Got naked... Heard his screaming! As its a shared ward u fel guilty. I had to wrap a towel round me and run to him with blood dripping down my legs.

Something I do not want to go through again

Is there any way to request a private room so he can stay?

I'm sorry you had to go through that that's really not fair

I was picturing wheeling his little cot into the bathroom with me haha

I'm going to try to see if we can stay in the birthing suite which is fully set up to house 2 adults and baby. It shares a bathroom with one other suite so that's a plus..... BUT if another woman in labour comes in I'll be shooed off to the ward. Hopefully if its an after hours birth so we can go home by night the next day

In our hospital you have to take the cot in with you if your on your own x

 

[Expecting1]

I know you wont believe me but after the birth you wont really mind - at my hospital dads are allowed to stay on the ward but OH still went home because he hadnt slept for 4 days! I had myself and baby to concentrate on and try and get some sleep.
This time we have a toddler so he wont be able to stay anyway - even if you do end up crying they wont think anything of it.
As for OH missing out on the first night honestly babies dont do that much and if your trying to breastfeed he wont be able to help anyway, its much better that he gets a decent sleep before the chaos starts at home

I do believe you I HOPE I don't mind. No one can know how we'll feel after we have our babies but if I'm still 'me' I'll be very clingy lol. Hopefully he doesn't have somewhere comfy to sit so I can tell him to go home and lay down in our super comfy bed (because of his bad back) and get sleep..... Ok, ok... Now I'm feeling a LOT better about this.... I do NOT want him super tired driving me and Tanner home!! Ok this is good, positive thoughts! I'll probably LOVE being alone with Tanner won't I?

 

[TwoRdue]

I had to spend a month in a out of town hospital and only got to see my oh in the weekend when he could travel through.. it was hard but we managed well. We spoke all the time and were lucky we get a thousand min free to each other on our cells as we spoke for 1200 min for the month.
Im sure you will surprise yourself but hopefully he can stay

 

[Expecting1]

I had to spend a month in a out of town hospital and only got to see my oh in the weekend when he could travel through.. it was hard but we managed well. We spoke all the time and were lucky we get a thousand min free to each other on our cells as we spoke for 1200 min for the month.
Im sure you will surprise yourself but hopefully he can stay

Hopefully I'm either alone in the ward or I'm able to walk around so I can use my mobile (no phone calls in ward, I might be able to sneak a few lol)but, It doesn't bother me too much about not talking on the phone, I would rather use my data and message him while he uses our home wifi. I think that would be a lot easier on me (crying wise lol) and I can be silent doing that too so I can't get asked to stop.

 

[MrsTurner2012]

This is why I want a home birth. So that DH doesn't have to miss out on babies first hours/days an we don't have to spend any time apart.

Plus once we've just been through the ordeal of giving birth it's nice to have that support there I you just want a nap or take a shower.

Last time I was in hospital alone with my DS I couldn't leave his side because there was no one to watch him and I was filthy... Really needed to take a shower so I chanced it.
Got naked... Heard his screaming! As its a shared ward u fel guilty. I had to wrap a towel round me and run to him with blood dripping down my legs.

Something I do not want to go through again

Is there any way to request a private room so he can stay?

I'm sorry you had to go through that that's really not fair

I was picturing wheeling his little cot into the bathroom with me haha

I'm going to try to see if we can stay in the birthing suite which is fully set up to house 2 adults and baby. It shares a bathroom with one other suite so that's a plus..... BUT if another woman in labour comes in I'll be shooed off to the ward. Hopefully if its an after hours birth so we can go home by night the next day

In our hospital you have to take the cot in with you if your on your own x

The shower room was too small to fit him in! I ended up just asking one of the other mums to keep an eye on him!

 

[Whatme]

I actually made a lovely friend who was opposite me on the ward, I fetched her hot chocolate as she had a section and it was difficult for her to get up, we still message each other today, so you may find it a pleasant stay.. Just saying don't think the worst, you'll be surrounded by women who have just done the exact same as you, it's kinda nice! X.