wish i never had my baby :(

[Aidan's Mummy]

I'm of the firm belief that babies do pick up on hostile tension or anger (whatever you want to call it). Sorry if I offend with my word choice, but honestly, I don't think we are giving LOs enough credit here! A baby can detect how the mother is feeling when they are in womb, so how is it any different when they are born and near us a majority of the time? When I'm stressed out, my LO definitely picks up on it. She just gets fussier! But if I take a deep breath and smile at her, she instantly relaxes. Maybe it is all in my head?

The only thing Kitabird has said is that she doesn't want people to act like they are talking behind her back and even then, we get a "cheers" at the end of her post... I find that very upsetting. We have gotten no update on if she is getting help, how she is feeling, etc. Clearly people are concerned about her and the baby and would appreciate an update...

Sorry but you're wrong and your comment isn't helpful. I'm not suggesting it's ok to shout at your baby but it won't cause them any long term damage. I say this as a mum who had a complete breakdown due to PND. The pain of my depression had me screaming as I felt trapped in a black hole. My daughter was in the house. She is now a happy 7 month old who bears no I'll affect from the early days.

Actually, I'm not wrong and your opinion is your opinion, but I'll post mine regardless if you don't think it is helpful. Did I say anything about long term damage? No. Feel free to reread my post. I simply said that babies can pick up on your moods and adjust theirs as such.

Apologies, because the discussion had been on the long term effect I thought you were referring to this. I actually agree that babies can pick up on tension in the short term but as Aidens Mummy has said they will not understand the tension.

You are entitled to your opinion but I still don't think this is helpful on a support thread.

If you're wondering why Kitabird hasn't come back perhaps you may want to consider the way this thread has turned. I know if it was me I wouldn't want to post when people have been comparing the situation to the baby P case and berating her for not getting help when this is exactly why thiis thread was started.

Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the way certain posters have handled this thread, I honestly believe we are all concerned for her and the baby, otherwise WHY would we all be posting?! I like to give people the benefit of the doubt though. Maybe that is silly of me.

Ok then tell me exactly how you think you are helping the baby by ripping the mother to shreds and probably scaring her from posting and getting support?

Exactly where have the people who have supported the OP not shown concern for the baby?


Tell me how you think it is helpful making people with PND feel like child abusers and negletful of their children?

Can I just point out this is the Postnatal support forum. If you want a discussion on PND start another thread. Carry on with your opinion, you're entitled to it.

In case you're wondering why I'm being so angry, it's because some of these post have confounded my worst fears they have made me feel like a s**t mum just because at my lowest ebb I wanted to shout and scream. I am dealing with my PND much better these days so god knows how the OP must be feeling.

Having PND does not make yoy at bad mum at all sweetheart Having suffered from it I understand your fears and I did try and hide it for a while. I was once told by a 'friend' it was awful I needed happy pills to love my son.

Peoples attitudes towards PND can cut deep hun. But it can be very common. We are not bad mums sweetie infact acknowlegding we had a problem makes us good mums
xx

 

[billy2mm]

I'm of the firm belief that babies do pick up on hostile tension or anger (whatever you want to call it). Sorry if I offend with my word choice, but honestly, I don't think we are giving LOs enough credit here! A baby can detect how the mother is feeling when they are in womb, so how is it any different when they are born and near us a majority of the time? When I'm stressed out, my LO definitely picks up on it. She just gets fussier! But if I take a deep breath and smile at her, she instantly relaxes. Maybe it is all in my head?

The only thing Kitabird has said is that she doesn't want people to act like they are talking behind her back and even then, we get a "cheers" at the end of her post... I find that very upsetting. We have gotten no update on if she is getting help, how she is feeling, etc. Clearly people are concerned about her and the baby and would appreciate an update...

Sorry but you're wrong and your comment isn't helpful. I'm not suggesting it's ok to shout at your baby but it won't cause them any long term damage. I say this as a mum who had a complete breakdown due to PND. The pain of my depression had me screaming as I felt trapped in a black hole. My daughter was in the house. She is now a happy 7 month old who bears no I'll affect from the early days.

Actually, I'm not wrong and your opinion is your opinion, but I'll post mine regardless if you don't think it is helpful. Did I say anything about long term damage? No. Feel free to reread my post. I simply said that babies can pick up on your moods and adjust theirs as such.

Apologies, because the discussion had been on the long term effect I thought you were referring to this. I actually agree that babies can pick up on tension in the short term but as Aidens Mummy has said they will not understand the tension.

You are entitled to your opinion but I still don't think this is helpful on a support thread.

If you're wondering why Kitabird hasn't come back perhaps you may want to consider the way this thread has turned. I know if it was me I wouldn't want to post when people have been comparing the situation to the baby P case and berating her for not getting help when this is exactly why thiis thread was started.

Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the way certain posters have handled this thread, I honestly believe we are all concerned for her and the baby, otherwise WHY would we all be posting?! I like to give people the benefit of the doubt though. Maybe that is silly of me.

Ok then tell me exactly how you think you are helping the baby by ripping the mother to shreds and probably scaring her from posting and getting support?

Exactly where have the people who have supported the OP not shown concern for the baby?


Tell me how you think it is helpful making people with PND feel like child abusers and negletful of their children?

Can I just point out this is the Postnatal support forum. If you want a discussion on PND start another thread. Carry on with your opinion, you're entitled to it.

In case you're wondering why I'm being so angry, it's because some of these post have confounded my worst fears they have made me feel like a s**t mum just because at my lowest ebb I wanted to shout and scream. I am dealing with my PND much better these days so god knows how the OP must be feeling.

we just need to turn a blind eye and sigh to the likes of those people hun!

all of us who have been through PHD and are not ashamed to say that we have it or have suffered from it are alot braver than that lot!!

WE have the strenght to admit we are ill and the OP is one of US too!!

THEY are narrow minded fools/very very lucky or blessed to have not suffered it who have not a clue about how such a mental illness works.

OP i really really hope you havent been scared off by these people who get their kicks out of trying to hurt and put down other people. YOU are amazingly strong for speaking out and please know that apart from those few, WE are all here for you and will support you. do not be scared off and please post again. start a new thread if you need and leave that lot to argue it out

 

[better2gether]

I'm of the firm belief that babies do pick up on hostile tension or anger (whatever you want to call it). Sorry if I offend with my word choice, but honestly, I don't think we are giving LOs enough credit here! A baby can detect how the mother is feeling when they are in womb, so how is it any different when they are born and near us a majority of the time? When I'm stressed out, my LO definitely picks up on it. She just gets fussier! But if I take a deep breath and smile at her, she instantly relaxes. Maybe it is all in my head?

The only thing Kitabird has said is that she doesn't want people to act like they are talking behind her back and even then, we get a "cheers" at the end of her post... I find that very upsetting. We have gotten no update on if she is getting help, how she is feeling, etc. Clearly people are concerned about her and the baby and would appreciate an update...

Sorry but you're wrong and your comment isn't helpful. I'm not suggesting it's ok to shout at your baby but it won't cause them any long term damage. I say this as a mum who had a complete breakdown due to PND. The pain of my depression had me screaming as I felt trapped in a black hole. My daughter was in the house. She is now a happy 7 month old who bears no I'll affect from the early days.

Actually, I'm not wrong and your opinion is your opinion, but I'll post mine regardless if you don't think it is helpful. Did I say anything about long term damage? No. Feel free to reread my post. I simply said that babies can pick up on your moods and adjust theirs as such.

Apologies, because the discussion had been on the long term effect I thought you were referring to this. I actually agree that babies can pick up on tension in the short term but as Aidens Mummy has said they will not understand the tension.

You are entitled to your opinion but I still don't think this is helpful on a support thread.

If you're wondering why Kitabird hasn't come back perhaps you may want to consider the way this thread has turned. I know if it was me I wouldn't want to post when people have been comparing the situation to the baby P case and berating her for not getting help when this is exactly why thiis thread was started.

Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the way certain posters have handled this thread, I honestly believe we are all concerned for her and the baby, otherwise WHY would we all be posting?! I like to give people the benefit of the doubt though. Maybe that is silly of me.

Ok then tell me exactly how you think you are helping the baby by ripping the mother to shreds and probably scaring her from posting and getting support?

Exactly where have the people who have supported the OP not shown concern for the baby?


Tell me how you think it is helpful making people with PND feel like child abusers and negletful of their children?

Can I just point out this is the Postnatal support forum. If you want a discussion on PND start another thread. Carry on with your opinion, you're entitled to it.

In case you're wondering why I'm being so angry, it's because some of these post have confounded my worst fears they have made me feel like a s**t mum just because at my lowest ebb I wanted to shout and scream. I am dealing with my PND much better these days so god knows how the OP must be feeling.

Tell me how I am "ripping the mother to shreds." I did no such thing. Jesus Christ. A poster (NOT me) said they were concerned for the baby most in this whole situation and all hell broke loose! I never called anyone a child abuser or neglectful (again, NOT me). Direct your anger at someone else, because you are clearly addressing the wrong person. All I said was that babies DO sense how we are feeling and to say otherwise is stupid, and that I wanted an update from Kitabird which I think is fair because so many people were touched by her thread. If you are mad at other posters for the way they handled things, then I'm sorry. But not everyone here is going sugarcoat their opinions. So again, sorry if you get offended but we don't all react the same way when we read such a sad and upsetting thread!

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

No I agree no one should sugar coat their opinions. But some of the could have been put across with a bit more tact, empathy and compassion (not aimed at you by the way better2gether)
xx

 

[jenny_wren]

never think pnd makes you a bad mother
when you finally come out the other side
you'll realise it makes you a stronger mother



it's very very hard to see the light when
you're stuck in such a dark shitty place, but it's
there and one day you'll step into it and
pnd will be a thing of the past

im so thankful that emily will never remember
her first few years, the months i spent crying and
wondering what kind of a mother doesn't love
their own child but i know eventually ill come out
smiling but i'll never get this time back and that's
what upsets me most

i think some people need to realise they've got
things some mothers only dream of and perhaps
they should be glad they're not in our position
and rather than judge they should be thankful
they're not in the shitty dark place that some
of us have been in months even years ​

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Jenny That place we were in is a scary, isolating place. You have done so well hun.
xx

 

[Raggydoll]

Thanks Aidens Mummy, Billy and Jenny.

I have to say the majority of people on here have been incredibly supportive towards the OP.

I really hope Kitabird is doing ok.

 

[carolyn_s]

Whilst reading the last 13 pages ive been angry and upset to the point i cried.

Whilst angry i had so much i was going to say but to be honest i dont think its anything that hasnt been said already.

At the end of the thread all i felt was pity... and not for the OP. I dont know her but going by her posts i think she is a lot stronger and honest than many who have waded in with their opinions in this thread.

I had PND and for 7 months i hid it from everyone and did a good job of it. I had negative thoughts...but thats exactly what they were...thoughts! i never acted on them and who are any of us to judge the op for her THOUGHTS? The one thing that held me back from admitting i had a mental health problem was because of the stigma attatched to it and i didnt want people to think i was a nut job!! thats how i felt i would be seen if people found out i had depression!

Some people need time to admit problems and considering OP has taken the first step it is progress! I doubt there are many people who feel the way she does that would automatically run to the dr and admit it. These things take time.

i still cant believe some of the comments in this thread...some people really do live in there own little world.

 

[Raggydoll]

I'm of the firm belief that babies do pick up on hostile tension or anger (whatever you want to call it). Sorry if I offend with my word choice, but honestly, I don't think we are giving LOs enough credit here! A baby can detect how the mother is feeling when they are in womb, so how is it any different when they are born and near us a majority of the time? When I'm stressed out, my LO definitely picks up on it. She just gets fussier! But if I take a deep breath and smile at her, she instantly relaxes. Maybe it is all in my head?

The only thing Kitabird has said is that she doesn't want people to act like they are talking behind her back and even then, we get a "cheers" at the end of her post... I find that very upsetting. We have gotten no update on if she is getting help, how she is feeling, etc. Clearly people are concerned about her and the baby and would appreciate an update...

Sorry but you're wrong and your comment isn't helpful. I'm not suggesting it's ok to shout at your baby but it won't cause them any long term damage. I say this as a mum who had a complete breakdown due to PND. The pain of my depression had me screaming as I felt trapped in a black hole. My daughter was in the house. She is now a happy 7 month old who bears no I'll affect from the early days.

Actually, I'm not wrong and your opinion is your opinion, but I'll post mine regardless if you don't think it is helpful. Did I say anything about long term damage? No. Feel free to reread my post. I simply said that babies can pick up on your moods and adjust theirs as such.

Apologies, because the discussion had been on the long term effect I thought you were referring to this. I actually agree that babies can pick up on tension in the short term but as Aidens Mummy has said they will not understand the tension.

You are entitled to your opinion but I still don't think this is helpful on a support thread.

If you're wondering why Kitabird hasn't come back perhaps you may want to consider the way this thread has turned. I know if it was me I wouldn't want to post when people have been comparing the situation to the baby P case and berating her for not getting help when this is exactly why thiis thread was started.

Regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the way certain posters have handled this thread, I honestly believe we are all concerned for her and the baby, otherwise WHY would we all be posting?! I like to give people the benefit of the doubt though. Maybe that is silly of me.

Ok then tell me exactly how you think you are helping the baby by ripping the mother to shreds and probably scaring her from posting and getting support?

Exactly where have the people who have supported the OP not shown concern for the baby?


Tell me how you think it is helpful making people with PND feel like child abusers and negletful of their children?

Can I just point out this is the Postnatal support forum. If you want a discussion on PND start another thread. Carry on with your opinion, you're entitled to it.

In case you're wondering why I'm being so angry, it's because some of these post have confounded my worst fears they have made me feel like a s**t mum just because at my lowest ebb I wanted to shout and scream. I am dealing with my PND much better these days so god knows how the OP must be feeling.

Tell me how I am "ripping the mother to shreds." I did no such thing. Jesus Christ. A poster (NOT me) said they were concerned for the baby most in this whole situation and all hell broke loose! I never called anyone a child abuser or neglectful (again, NOT me). Direct your anger at someone else, because you are clearly addressing the wrong person. All I said was that babies DO sense how we are feeling and to say otherwise is stupid, and that I wanted an update from Kitabird which I think is fair because so many people were touched by her thread. If you are mad at other posters for the way they handled things, then I'm sorry. But not everyone here is going sugarcoat their opinions. So again, sorry if you get offended but we don't all react the same way when we read such a sad and upsetting thread!

You're going to be sick of me apologising, Sorry I shouldn't of aimed that at you. This is still a very raw subject for me.

I stand by my post but it's not aimed at you. I think because you picked up on the thing I'm struggling with at the moment, (& I do agree that babies sense our feelings) I unfairly quoted you rather than one of the ones that are being unfair to the OP.

Hopefully this thread will go back to the supportive thread it was.

 

[vkj73]

kitabird,
i hope you are well. it is quite sad that your thread took the turn it did.

i highly recommend this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Operating-In...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282509065&sr=1-1

you will see that you are not alone by a long shot. everyone has dark thoughts.

i wish you peace

 

[~KACI~]

Locked at OP request.

I haven't read the whole thread myself but i just want to say to the OP that amongst all the posts there will be some very good suggestions and helpful posts, please don't feel that you have to stop posting, Maybe PM someone from this thread that has come out the other side to have a chat with

 

[Wobbles]

Reviewing thread.