wish i never had my baby :(

[kitabird]

It's an awful thing to say, but that's how I feel. I don't feel connected to him at all, I barely even like him, let alone love him. When he cries I can't cope and sometimes end up shouting at him and feeling like I want to slap him across the face. I resent him for wanting fed or cuddled, I wish he would leave me alone! I think he would be better off if I gave him up to somebody who would love him and take care of him properly.

 

[WaitingForYou]

It can take a while to get used to being a parent. Have you spoke to your GP about post natal depression? Is there anybody you can talk to and sit and have a cry with if needs be? Your baby is still very young, and has a lot of great things to show you as he grows up. Do you think your feeling like this because its hard work and more demanding than expected?

 

[Steffyxx]

Hun if you feel this way maybe you should speak to someone about it like youre midwife or health visitor ?? , just remember its not youre little ones fault and im sorry i dont have more advice didnt want to read and run ! x

 

[ames_x]

I really think you should contact your midwife/GP ASAP... Does your OH help out?

 

[catfromaus]

Definitely chat to someone about how you are feeling- remember that LO is still so small, and you are both learning so many new things. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Is there anyone that can watch him for a few hours? A break (and some uninterrupted sleep) might help

xxx

 

[kitabird]

It can take a while to get used to being a parent. Have you spoke to your GP about post natal depression? Is there anybody you can talk to and sit and have a cry with if needs be? Your baby is still very young, and has a lot of great things to show you as he grows up. Do you think your feeling like this because its hard work and more demanding than expected?

I knew it would be hard work, I just assumed that I would love him and therefore wouldn't mind. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to bond with my own child I'm reluctant to mention the possibility of PND. They'd just throw anti-depressants at me, which I've been on before and they didn't help.

 

[Lena]

Oh dear! I had the baby blues after having my son and felt similar... but for me they only lasted 2-3 weeks. If they had lasted much longer i would have gone to the doctors because the feelings i was having were terrible and i was constantly crying. Can your OH take care of the baby a few hours a day to let your get some space and air? Going for a walk on my own and a hot bath once a day really helped me. Being a mother is so much more work and so much more overwhelming than i ever expected but please do remember... he's only a baby, crying is just what babies do to communicate, it will get better. Please do go see the doctor because things won't get better unless you do.

 

[Shady_R]

When i had pnd after having my middle son i had those thoughts. I couldnt bond with him at first. Some mums and babies dont bond right away, it can take weeks for that to happen. My ds also had colic so made everything much harder too. I felt really alone although i wasnt too. Go and speak to your mw hv or dr hun. You dont have to go on anti depressants if you dont want to. I had a session with my hv every week, just to try and get around it, but my depression just got worse, due to my living conditions at that time. Your dr could refer you for counselling. If wu have someone who can help ou with lo for a couple of hours, take advantage of that and have a bath or go for a walk or something.

 

[Laura2919]

I think you might need to go and see your doctor hun. Sounds like you got a bit of PND. Its not easy being a parent and being able to tell people how you feel but it will be better for you in the long run..

 

[nikkiangel83]

Not read all the thread but just wanted to say well done for facing up to your feelings. One step at a time. x

 

[billy2mm]

i would really really speak to your doctor as soon as possible hun.

the first time i was left alone with my eldest i cried and cried the whole time!! i didnt know what i had gotten myself into and when he cried it just wanted to leave the flat leaving him in it!!!

you are no alone in feeling like that but you have taken the first step in posing on here asking for advice. please dont ever feel like you have no one to talk to coz there is always someone here and you are not the first person to feel like that and you wont be the last!

 

[ProudMum]

the quote " i feel like i want to slap him across the face" is rather worrying

 

[OmarsMum]

I couldnt bond for the 1st 2 mnths, & I thought motherhood is not for me.

But it really helped having ppl around me. My mom was always around & DH helped alot. They used to take him frm me as soon as he cries as I used to cry with him. I had alots of me time to cool down (long bathes, walks, going to the spa, taking care of myself). It's not easy at first but it gets better. Talk to someone about it, if u dont have good help frm family or friends, seek a professional. A good break & me time helps alot.

 

[nightkd]

I felt the exact same way and have some residual feelings now... I just expected to love her (didn't feel like I bonded while she was in the womb, as I expected...so just assumed the 'rush of love' would hit me when she was born) and so when I didn't really....it made me hate looking after her a lot of the time, I still looked after her obviously because I knew it was just stupid feelings and that she needed me and I would regret it if I ever hurt her or left her crying to herself - but I absolutely HATED breastfeeding, because I felt like people were abandoning me with her and it scared me and made me feel alone and I just wished someone would take her and look after her, so I didn't have to...iykwim?

I would definitely talk to your Dr, there are alternative therapies to taking antidepressants (I wouldn't want to go on antidepressants if my depression had continued as badly as it did...I don't take paracetamol for headaches most of the time, because I don't like to!) and it may help to get some of those feelings out and see what other options you could be offered... Are you a part of any mother and baby groups? It might help to get out and about and if you're with other parents, you can talk to them and it may help you bond as you are kind of sharing experiences with other people in the same position - I know I felt more bonded because I was proud when my daughter started doing things (she rolled over when she was like a week or two old) that other people's babies weren't doing...iykwim?

It's been a gradual thing, but over the past week or so I've felt like I'm actually getting closer to my baby. She smiles at me and I can settle her most of the time now without having a panic about her crying, whereas before I felt like I couldn't do anything without my DH (who went back to work after just 3/4 days ).... It WILL get better...Some things just don't come to some people as 'naturally' as you expect. I know I expected just to settle into motherhood easier than anything...but it took some time and a lot of talking with my DH, because I didn't feel comfortable talking about it to anyone else....



xx

 

[SamGames23]

Really talk to your doctor. My friend didn't connect with her son until he was almost 3 months old. Some people just have a hard time when they have things going on in their life...

But really for the safety of your baby, really talk to someone. Thinking their just gonna throw more anti-depressants at you and you don't wanna do that is really putting more strain on your baby. And it doesn't need that, it did nothing wrong.

 

[blondeNklutzi]

Hun please speak to your Dr. or HV. Mention that you don't just want them to throw antidepressants at you. I had some baby blues after LO was born, but OH has suffered from full blown PND (it affects men too!) and has had a very hard time bonding with LO. He is still having some problems and it has been a long road, but believe me there is help out there.

 

[Eoz]

the quote " i feel like i want to slap him across the face" is rather worrying

I thought the same xxx

Please seek help

 

[mummy3]

the quote " i feel like i want to slap him across the face" is rather worrying

I thought the same xxx

Please seek help

^ I agree, please,please get help from your doctor! Even if you dont want antidepressants, there are other forms of therapy and support

 

[Agiboma]

kitabird please see someone about this it sounds like you are suffering from ppd post partum depression this is a serious illness and needs to be treated by professionals these feelings are not normal and they need to be looked after, they simply will not go away and may get worse.
wishing you all the best

 

[reedsgirl1138]

Oh my as the other ladies said please seek help. I understand what you are going through I had a hard time bonding with my oldest daughter...I was 18 and young and very resentful of all the changes she brought into my life but I never thought of physical harm to her. That is a serious situation huni. Good luck. I wish you all the best...by the way my oldest will be 15 tomorrow it does get easier.