cbbrankley
TTC #1
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2011
- Messages
- 122
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I am 29 and have been married to my husband, who is 33, for 5 years. When we first got together my anxiety issues were more under control and I was able to go out and do things that I don't do now. I don't even go to the grocery store or drive because my anxiety is so bad.
However, since we met, I've always talked about having kids, at least until the last couple years since my anxiety has gotten worse. I've become scared to have children because of being scared of going out in public and of course, actually having a baby.
My husband has brought up having kids the last few years but I've told him I'm not ready now and he usually says that it sucks I'm not ready but is supportive of me. The other day he mentioned again that we should both go get checked out and everything so we could start trying. Even though I am terrified of being pregnant now, I kind of feel like maybe we should try.
I know with all my issues that it should be a definite no but since we both had the understanding that we wanted kids pretty much as soon as we got married, and it's already been 5 years, I kind of feel like I owe it to him. He has been far and beyond what a husband should be. He's been extremely patient and understanding with me when dealing with my anxiety and he's done everything he can to show that he's going to be there for me and take care of me as long as he's able.
He's always said that he wanted children sooner rather than later because he has the knees of an 80 year old already and has has 3 surgeries on one of them. He says that he wants kids before he gets to the point that he can't really play ball and stuff with them. He has a great job that more than supports both of us and our 5 pets. And every time I see him around a baby, I can tell how badly he wants one of his own.
When the subject came up the other day, he told me that he understands my issues and that he's willing to do everything that the child needs that I can't do, even though he believes that having a child will give me a purpose and motivation to do stuff that scares me now. He even said that he has faith in me and knows that I can handle it if I gave it a chance.
Please give your honest opinions (Please don't be mean though). What should I do? How would you handle this situation? Oh and btw, not that it makes a difference but I'm going to add that, my little sister is now 5 months pregnant and his brother and sis-in-law had their first child last March and I think he would like to have kids around the same age of their cousins. They all have their crap together though, lol.
However, since we met, I've always talked about having kids, at least until the last couple years since my anxiety has gotten worse. I've become scared to have children because of being scared of going out in public and of course, actually having a baby.
My husband has brought up having kids the last few years but I've told him I'm not ready now and he usually says that it sucks I'm not ready but is supportive of me. The other day he mentioned again that we should both go get checked out and everything so we could start trying. Even though I am terrified of being pregnant now, I kind of feel like maybe we should try.
I know with all my issues that it should be a definite no but since we both had the understanding that we wanted kids pretty much as soon as we got married, and it's already been 5 years, I kind of feel like I owe it to him. He has been far and beyond what a husband should be. He's been extremely patient and understanding with me when dealing with my anxiety and he's done everything he can to show that he's going to be there for me and take care of me as long as he's able.
He's always said that he wanted children sooner rather than later because he has the knees of an 80 year old already and has has 3 surgeries on one of them. He says that he wants kids before he gets to the point that he can't really play ball and stuff with them. He has a great job that more than supports both of us and our 5 pets. And every time I see him around a baby, I can tell how badly he wants one of his own.
When the subject came up the other day, he told me that he understands my issues and that he's willing to do everything that the child needs that I can't do, even though he believes that having a child will give me a purpose and motivation to do stuff that scares me now. He even said that he has faith in me and knows that I can handle it if I gave it a chance.
Please give your honest opinions (Please don't be mean though). What should I do? How would you handle this situation? Oh and btw, not that it makes a difference but I'm going to add that, my little sister is now 5 months pregnant and his brother and sis-in-law had their first child last March and I think he would like to have kids around the same age of their cousins. They all have their crap together though, lol.