Won't sleep on her own... AT ALL. help?

[BeccaMichelle]

Hi girls.. I'm turning to you guys for some much needed advice.

Firstly some factoids:

• LO is 7 months
• She's breastfed
• we co-sleep
• I'm against all CC

The problem. I have always nursed her to sleep. At the very beginning I had no intention to co-sleep at all but quickly learned it was the only way either of us were going to get any sleep. Even we she was little she'd sleep brilliantly if you were holding her but she seems to have a motion sensor built in and will wake up the second you lay her down. On the few occasions we have been able to lay her down in a cot or on the bed, if she wakes up and you're not next to her she'll freak.

I actually don't mind nursing her to sleep. If she wanted rocked or sung to I'd do that instead, but the problem is that she has so closely associated nursing with sleep. If she partially wakes during the night she'll immediately nuzzle for the breast. If she finds it, she'll suckle for less than a minute and fall back asleep. If she doesn't find it she wakes up completely and cries. Sometimes she doesn't HAVE to have a boob she'll throw out her arm and if she doesn't touch you she'll wake up and yes.. cry. Alternatively she just starts to roll over and if you aren't there to block her she'll roll completely over and instinctively get up on all fours then wake up and wonder how in the world she got there and then... of course, cry.

So I've just been trying not to rock the boat and letting her continue.. but she's 7 months now and I spend all her daytime naps laying next to her on the bed (granted I get to internet while she sleeps! but I don't actually get anything done) We have a cot bed pushed up against our bed where she should be sleeping but of course she sleeps nuzzled up next to me. Which is sweet and all.. but 7 months of not being able to roll over and waking up multiple times a night with a dead arm is starting to get really old.

I've been telling OH that she'll grow out of it or that I want to wait till she's old enough to kind of understand that having her own space isn't the end of the world. But he's starting to worry about the dependence she's developing... and I guess I can see where he's coming from. (He's been so understanding for so long, as you can imagine our love life has taken a bit of hit since the baby was born!) What's got me worried is that the other night he said "she'd just going to have to learn" and I'm concerned he wants to let her cry it out. I've told him so many times that I won't do it and he understands.. but seriously we need to come up with something because as much as we adore our little girl and she's the center of our worlds, it's putting a lot of strain on us.

What do I do??

 

[Bayleaf]

Em is about to turn 1 in a couple of weeks and what you're describing sounds very familiar. I managed to get him to nap in the sling, his buggy and as of the last few months in his cot. Yay.
Same for nights. He'll go to sleep in his cot in his room and he wakes up every 1-3 hours and I nurse him back to sleep. From about 1 AM he comes into our bed.
There's a few things you can try.
Have a look at this

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp

and/or you can try the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' methods, I found it a comforting read and we've been following this method for half his life now, to say it's working would be a lie though

https://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php?nid=172&isbn=0071381392

and when she's a bit older you can try night weaning (not recommended before they're at least 1 year old)

https://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

I've just gotten used to it. He's never slept more than 4 hours on the trot since birth. Co-sleeping is deffo the way forward though.

Good luck

 

[cath]

I've been using PU/PD from the baby whisperer & its worked amazingly. Up until 2 weeks ago, LO co-slept with me, BF on & off all night & used a dummy. Now she sleeps dummyless in her cot, in her own room & 2 nights ago slept from 7pm to 6am. She almost did it again last night but woke at 2am wanting to play! She did cry at times during the process of weaning her from me & my bed but she's never left on her own to cry-the first night I put the side of the cot down & put my whole upper body in the cot with her & cuddled her to sleep. Over time, I progressed to shushing her & patting or stroking her, then to sitting by her cot, the to sitting a foot away, then 2 feet away & finally tonight, I put her in her cot awake & left her alone(although sat outside on the landing, she couldnt see me) and she just drifted off to sleep. Its been hard going at times & in the middle of the night when she wouldnt settle, its been so tempting to pick her up & take her to bed with me but we managed to stick with it & in less than 2 weeks, she went from waking every hour to sleeping for 11 hours.

 

[pinkclaire]

I had exactly the same problem, I used the baby sleep system by Wendy Dean. It basically outlines a lot of the key methods mentioned above, but also looks at your whole day routine. I tried a lot of things and found it the best! As part of her book I used the baby whisperer method as well and also switched to calorie maximisation which basically means you only feed every 4 hours and what this does is makes them take proper feeds rather than snacking.

The book is amazing and I would highly recommend it to anyone. James was waking every 45-60 mins each night, after 1 night he slept 4 hour straight and after two weeks he slept through x