words of advice?

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by onetwothreebp, Mar 18, 2013.

  1. I have not experienced gender disappointment myself, so I'm flying blind here. My friend recently just had her third baby - a boy. She has wanted a girl since before her first child and she has nothing but boys. She's putting on a brave face but I KNOW she's disappointed.

    With her first baby, she wasn't too sad when she had a boy because she did want a son and they were planning on two children. When she had her second son, she was actually depressed because she had wanted a daughter so bad. They decided to have another baby to try for a girl and now it's another boy.

    What do I say to her? Do I bring it up or should I leave it be until she mentions it? And if she does, what are some things to avoid saying?
     
  2. geordiemammy

    geordiemammy Well-Known Member

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    Let her know your there to talk about whatever whenever but don't bring it up she will if she feels the need to I'm sure she loves them all even if they are boys I really want a girl but hey life is unfair we don't always get what we want but I wouldn't change my 4 boys for the world they are hard work but so close and as her boys grow she will be the same its natural to want one of each but doesn't always work like that some people aren't lucky enough to have one and that's the way I look at it she has 3 happy healthy boys and I'm sure she is grateful for that no matter what
     
  3. Guppy051708

    Guppy051708 2 by Sea 2 by Land

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    I would only mention it if she does. If and when she does steer clear of saying things such as 'at least baby is healthy. That's all that matters' or 'life isn't always fair' ect make sure u avoid that type of talk bc that always made me feel worse. Just let her know u are there to listen and it's judgement free. Unfortunately I find that most ppl in ur position just feel helpless. There isn't much that anyone can say or do for a mom experience GD to get her over it. However if she knows she won't be judged or told. The above type comments maybe that will help. Otherwise it's just one of those things that she will have to accept in her own time. It really is tough. For me personally the only way I got over GD was actually having a girl BUT not everyone is lucky enough for that. We were def going to be done w this one. Had it been a boy I'm quit certain I never would have gotten over my loss. Life would go on bc it inevitably has to but I know a part of me would always be crushed no matter what someone else said to me
     

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