Worried about having Christmas Baby

[babyplease22]

Hi everyone. Sorry this is long. I was wondering if anyone can relate to what I'm feeling as a lot of people I have spoken to, DH included do not seem to understand what I mean. Basically I have been ttc for only 2 months but I am wanting to take a break in March/April if I don't get a bfp before then due to the fact that I don't want to be having my child around Christmas time. It is not for me or the fact that I don't want to spend the Christmas season in the hospital or anything like that! It's for the child. I've known SO many people throughout my life that have birthday's anywhere from 1st of December to late January that all tell me the same thing. Their birthdays are miserable times. They never had parties as children because their friends were all away for Christmas. Their birthdays somehow always got lost or worse joined with Christmas so their siblings would have presents and parties earlier in the year where as these kids got one present for Christmas/Birthday and no party.

Don't get me wrong I know that I personally will never let my child's birthday get lost in Christmas but I can not say the same for his/her relatives and friends. I feel it's just selfish of me to try at a time when I know it will give them a Christmas Birthday but at the same time I just don't know if I will be able to bring myself to take a break from ttc for this reason, especially when everyone else tells me I'm being stupid. Anyone else feel the same or at least know where I'm coming from? I'm thinking if I do happen to have a christmas birthday I can celebrate earlier in the year with them. Has anyone done this successfully?

 

[Gypsy99]

My son was born just after New Years and I feel your pain. you get through Christmas and New Years and then bam a birthday! We try to have his parties a few weeks later so that he has friends at home by then, but there is usually at least half the invitees that can't make it. We just try our best to make sure that he knows that his birthday is being catered for and not forgotten.

It's not as bad as people make out. I feel bad that he will turn 18 four days after new years though so no partying with his friends!

 

[Cppeace]

I can understand your reasoning. Do what feels right to you.

 

[AmberR]

I feel this way too, you are not alone! I was thinking of taking a break from TTC during march and april if we don't get a BFP during this cycle or the next.

 

[ms sunshine]

My son is born 7th jan and hes bloody lucky. He gets loadsnof chrostmas presents family party. Then birthday part birthday presents like any other child. And then because he has such a hugh gap he gets treats hrough the year. Hes not spoilt dont get me wrong. But he certainly doesnt miss out and he is excited when its christmas he knows 2 weeks more presents. Its what u make of it. U do have to be savy and save as its 2 big expenses close together but its doable. At the end of the day its down to the parent to save and do the best they can some cant manage and thats a shame but that surely is down to personal circumstances rather than it being close to christmas i mean no parent would.on purpose not be bothered. it can still be brilliant any childs birthday is as fab as u make it so dont look at it negative

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

DD2 was born 12/22 but we dont celebrate Christmas. We do celebrate Hanukkah though. They are 2 VERY separate things though and we make sure they are different.

Her birthday wont fall on it again for a few more years so luckily we only have it happen maybe 3-4 times while as a child!

 

[Wishx]

My birthday is December 23rd, i personally love it. I love the entire season and the Christmas holidays is the only time my whole family is together.
I never had an issue of my brithday being combined with Christmas and whenever i had parties as a child my mom did them a week or two before my actual birthday.

 

[DeuceMom]

deleted

 

[Starkette]

I've always felt the same way. We started TTC #2 in February 2016 and took a break and I hope this cycle is the one. My DD was born in September and an October baby would be great. But November and December is hard so close to major holidays. My best friend's birthday is Jan. 1st and she never had a party growing up. But that was mostly her choice. She preferred family time or trips. Asking her about it, she said she doesn't really care that her b-day is new years day. We finally gave her a party when she turned 16, we made new years eve and day ALL about her. It was pretty fun and special. My sister's birthday is Jan. 4th and my parents always made sure it was separate from Christmas and New year's. They made sure all decorations were put away and that it was just about her birthday. But it was always hard. I think she had parties growing up but mostly we just spent it together as a family. I don't think she minds at all.

I feel January birthdays are okay, but I would personally not want a December baby. I'm not sure if we'll skip it this time if this cycle isn't the one....It's hard now that it's been 6 months (skipping a few cycles here and there).

 

[msbene]

My first was born Dec 26th, is 5 years old and has thoroughly ENJOYED every birthday! Becos its the holidays no one ever forgets his birthday - he gets DOUBLE gifts (even I am jealous) and since he started preschool we throw him a party one week before the holidays with all his classmates BEFORE they all take off with their families. Attitude is everything in my opinion.

 

[Symphony7]

I don't know...birthdays were never a huge drawn out affair in my house. We didn't have birthday parties, they were just family dinners and stuff. One year as a teen my friends threw me a surprise party and I was so surprised because that just wasn't something we ever did. As adults we are the same, just dinner and a small present or no present. I've never felt let down or disappointed by my birthday not being a huge deal, probably because that is what is normal to me. I think it's what you make of it as a family...

 

[babyplease22]

Thank you so much everyone for your replies. I absolutely agree that attitude is everything and like I said in the original post I think DH and I would have the right attitude and we would of course make sure our baby felt loved on their birthday no matter when it took place. The problem is our selfish families and friends that I can not see making the effort. Either they will join their birthday with Christmas for the convenience or complain/not show up if we try and have dinners or parties for them weeks before or after the holidays because it's not the actual birthday so it isn't as important in their eyes. I love them all, I just know from experience that these things are not as important to them as they are to me. Hopefully though the Grandchild will be the light of their lives and Christmas will nearly be forgotten because of the excitement surrounding LO's birthday. Anyway... fingers crossed I get a bfp before then and don't have to worry so much about this issue anyway. It was nice to hear from people with experience.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

My daughter is 6th Jan. Was due 1st.
Honestly, every month has pros and cons. My son is August and in terms of a summer pregnancy and a youngest in year baby, its far worse. Least december babies are a better age for school x

 

[Wilkie]

My birthday is the 2nd of jan and my twins were born on the 9th dec.
No one ever combined my birthday with christmas or had any problems with celebrating it as i was growing up. Has for my twins they were 3 last december and i loved having so much to look forward to in december. You have to plan ahead with saving as its an expensive time of the year without their birthdays but we did it all with a party with firends and had an extra family gathering for them. I find giving people plenty of notice helps but my close friends and family would never not make the effort for them.
Saying all that though i am thinking on having a break with trying to conceive in march/april just due to the fact that another December baby would be added pressure on us financially and if its twins again then 4 birthdays plus christmas would cost a fortune 😊
Good luck anyway and hope you get you bfp this month!