Worried after today :-(

[Girly123]

I met up with my best friend and her little one today. Her baby is 11 weeks old and I love her. I have only seen her about 4/5 times since she was born as we live quite a way apart now so it is hard to organise meeting up. Every time I hold her she is fine for a minute of few minutes and then cries and I can sometimes settle her a bit but it always ends up in me having to hand her back to mummy and she is fine.

I am really worried that I just don't know what on earth I am doing and babies don't like me and maybe I shouldn't be having a baby. My friend is so confident in holding her and leaning her forward to burp her over her knee or holding her with one hand while doing other things and then there is me who is desperately scared of dropping her or hurting her or something. My friend is a paediatric nurse and specialises with new borns but I feel like I will be a crap mum.

As much as I want a baby tonight I feel like I am setting myself up to fail if I have one .

 

[mrsed]

Aww bless you. I'm terrible with babies - I literally have held 2 in my life. None of my friends have babies. My mum always said she was bad with babies but it's different when it's your own. Your baby will be your own and you'll soon learn how to do it hugs

 

[jenb]

i feel that way with other peoples kids but with my 1st it just came natural you just feel a lot more comfortable when its your own baby so dont freak out

 

[Laska5]

Oh please don't compare yourself to a pediatric nurse who handles babies all the time! I have worked as a nursery nurse in the past & we saw parents time & time again who did not know how to hold, feed, burp, change a diaper or do most of the things that comes with being a parent. We would have a giggle all the time about the parents who would use half a pack of baby wipes when cleaning their first poppy diaper! Most first time parents have no clue!

The great thing about being a parent is that NO ONE is perfect & it's normal to feel nervous. That doesn't mean you aren't meant to be a parent.

Also- Babies can sense your anxiety & tension, which is why your friends babies is probably wanting to go back to mom. Next time you're with her act confident & don't be nervous, she may just fall asleep in your arms! Maybe ask if you can babysit for a couple hours just to get in some more 1 on 1 baby time?

Also remember that you are not going to do anything to hurt the baby- they aren't as fragile as most people think!

 

[LittleLala]

I'm so glad that you wrote this!!! I'm not alone! Haha. I feel the same way. I never grew up around babies. Now a lot of my friends have them... And I'm just so friggen awkward.
But I have found when i am with the baby without the parent, I relax a lot and then so does the baby.
My husband on the other hand, who also has never been around babies growing up, is a total natural! Never would I have thought that... But he is so good. It's like, what? How did this happen? How are you better at what I am naturally supposed to be good at??? Haha

I just figure, when I finally have my own, it will all come to me... (I hope!)

 

[Girly123]

Thanks for the replies girls. I think you are probably right with the whole the baby can sense tension thing. I asked my OH how I looked holding the baby and did I look confident and he said yes but inside I feel like everyone is looking at me and think what the hell is she doing with a baby lol.

My OH won't hold other peoples babies, he is too nervous as well. He said he will be fine with our own as he can hold him/her how he wants and get used to him/her.

It is the crying that I find hard. If a toddler or older child cries I can deal with it but a baby I just panic lol xx