Worrying about everything!

[Comfycushions]

Been actively ttc for 6 months (plus one year previous not preventing) and have spent a lot of time lurking around these forums. Found it comforting to read other people going through similar. Today got af yet again and hoping putting feelings into words might lessen the pain of disappointment.

I know that only been trying a short time but feel my age and that of dh is against us and that coupled with lack of sex drive from dh point of view makes me anxious it just wont happen for us(know that wont help-lol!) Despite charting, plotting, dreaming etc (oh and illl advisedly taking vitex-oops) rationally each month I know it's not be be (only one month bd on ov.) However I hope for 'miracle' and frequently convince myself it's happened, pee on loads of sticks and then end up thoroughly dejected.

DH is fabulously supportive when I'm dismayed but don't want to lay too much on him about this in case it causes less than the already woefully insufficient!

Wallowing with glass of wine then hopefully on wards and upwards with positivity! Thanks for reading the self pitying rambling.: Any tips to actually achieve the 'just relax and it'll happen' approach gratefully received!

 

[hopster]

How old are you? I am assuming you are 35+, so if you've been trying for 6 months with nothing, it is time to go to the GP to start investigations and possibly get referred to a fertility clinic. If something is wrong, it is better to find out sooner than later and it is a potentially easy fix, ya never know.

No advice on how to relax and make it happen, haven't gotten there yet either....we are beyond relaxing and now full on into fertility treatments ;-)

 

[Comfycushions]

Hi hopster, 35 next week so definately thinking of going for tests. Terrified of it being someones 'fault' tho kwim? Scared how I'd cope with stress of assisted conception (keep visualising failed iui followed bu failed IVF-i am not a natural optimist lol)so trying to weigh up if that's worse than trying to accept carrying child of my own is not to be.
Good luck and baby dust to you.

 

[MrsKitty]

Hello I can very much relate to a lot of what you have said if not all! Test are probably a good idea, we have done that and I am glad we did. Granted knowing that time is certainly not on our hands is not great to be confirmed but you do not know if there is a reason it is not happening and you could be doing something to help. As it is for us nothing really stopping us but for me my reserve is low so we can not keep trying forever and come November if nature has not done its thing we will get help and like you I fear ivf failing as well as being gutted we are not doing this naturally. I do wonder if OH had a drive similar to mine it may help. You feel like you are making all the effort when its time to .

I wish I had some amazing advise for you, but the best advise I had on here was to go get the tests. Advise from my fs was to try improve egg quality - I take q 10 supplement and now take dhea under his advice aswell as folic acid ( and other supplements too). For OH he was advised to take vitamin E, folic acid and vitamin c - all to help motility of swimmers, he has an exceptionally high count luckily. Zinc is recommended to take to improve count. Good luck getting him to take them, mine only started when fs recommended

Being on here has been a massive help and sometimes just putting it all into words has helped.

 

[Comfycushions]

Hi Mrs Kitty, thanks for your post. Think I should just go and see GP. Confident can cope just as well with whatever the outcome of that may be as manage my anxiety over the myriad of disasters my imagination keeps dreaming up. Thanks for giving me the push in that direction guys. Think dh not so keen on testing but then also not so keen on regular bd *sigh.*
So frustrated and disappointed but some wine and enchiladas later feeling less desolate.
Will keep up the folic acid, magnesium and vit c,have got zinc in for him too now (binned the vitex after went from ewcm mid cycle to random scrappy ewcm throughout the month-hope cycle recovers soon) and will work on being sexy and alluring and try not to seem like I'm intent on harvesting sperm!
Thought this was meant to be fun!

 

[Mischief]

I'm with Hopster - I wish I had gone to a specialist sooner! It IS scary and stressful, but so worth it!

PS - I'm kinda tired of people telling me to relax and it'll happen. Go on a vacation... quit trying for a while... ugh!

 

[Comfycushions]

Drs appointment made-eek! Time to find out if there is a problem rather just than assuming there must be!
Thanks for the encouragement.

 

[MrsKitty]

Drs appointment made-eek! Time to find out if there is a problem rather just than assuming there must be!
Thanks for the encouragement.

Good luck & let us know. It is best to know than let our imagination run wild for sure! Just remember you are not alone.

 

[jen379]

Drs appointment made-eek! Time to find out if there is a problem rather just than assuming there must be!
Thanks for the encouragement.

Good luck & let us know. It is best to know than let our imagination run wild for sure! Just remember you are not alone.

Comfy, I think the ladies are right and you'll do yourself some good getting some concrete feedback from the test. As scary as it is, I'm hoping you feel empowered about your body from the results. Good Luck!

 

[Comfycushions]

Just come super close to cancelling appt-using logic of just give it another couple of months, see how you get on with new supplements extra bd-ing. Then came on here and seen sense-Keep hope that above will work but start journey of testing at same time. Thanks ladies!

 

[MrsKitty]

Just come super close to cancelling appt-using logic of just give it another couple of months, see how you get on with new supplements extra bd-ing. Then came on here and seen sense-Keep hope that above will work but start journey of testing at same time. Thanks ladies!

You must not cancel!!! Glad you changed mind

 

[Comfycushions]

So went to GP and now have day 21 blood test booked. Don't know why i thought they wouldn't take me seriously-think i'm not sure i'm grown up enough to be a mummy, lol.
Pleased with myself for taking proactive step on that route (thanks for the push )
Now I can start daydreaming that we'll be one of those mythical couples that i've heard of that, "as soon as *they* started thinking about iui/ivf/adoption etc (delete as appropriate) got pregnant naturally"

 

[MrsKitty]

So went to GP and now have day 21 blood test booked. Don't know why i thought they wouldn't take me seriously-think i'm not sure i'm grown up enough to be a mummy, lol.
Pleased with myself for taking proactive step on that route (thanks for the push )
Now I can start daydreaming that we'll be one of those mythical couples that i've heard of that, "as soon as *they* started thinking about iui/ivf/adoption etc (delete as appropriate) got pregnant naturally"

I am hoping it be one of those mythical couples too lol. We have to try stay positive, easier said than done at times. I am glad you took the first step, I do not know about you but I like to grab the teeny bit of control we have in this situation. Good look for the tests.

 

[hopster]

Glad to hear you've taken the first steps...it may be just a matter of timing (hopefully) and if it's not, a lot of issues can be dealt with fairly easily. My RE tells me the majority of his clients do not actually require IVF (although I think we are going there next...)

 

[Comfycushions]

Been enjoying that time just after initial af despair when not obsessing about ov and whole new cycle. Been quietly taking my vits and trying not to think about the whole thing.
Time of rest now over! Off to buy grapefruit juice (not that i've ever noticed any difference from quaffing that though!) I shall also be muttering to my ovaries that they better perform optimally this month as they are being tested.

Good luck hopster and kitty.

 

[hopster]

Glad to hear you are dealing better Comfy....

Just wanted to ask if day 21 is only blood work you are getting? When I went to GP, she sent me for day 3 FSH/LH/prolactin/estrogen/etc., day 21 progesterone...also recommended hubby get a sperm analysis (which he did not do until we were at the RE) She just wanted all the basis covered before referring us. Oh and if you are in the USA, I believe they use AMH test as well, which can be done anytime of the month.

Hang in there, it can be a long road ;-)

 

[Comfycushions]

Yeah GP just wanted day 21 and sa. Thought i'd raise the issue of day 3 bloods when i see the nurse for that test and see. Perhaps they just forgot to say. Now just need to get hubby to do sa.....!

 

[hopster]

haha good luck with encouraging the hubby to go in for SA....Mine left if to the last minute, so I booked the appointment for him and told him when and where to show up, he was good and did what he supposed to. Just sucks that he actually needed a kick in the butt to do it.

The day 3 tests are pretty important, as they give an idea of ovarian reserve and day 21 indicates if ovulation is occurring. Definitely worth asking about so you don't "waste" cycles waiting for blood work. Anyways, glad you are over the first hurdle, it's really hard to make that first step to ask for help.

 

[popchick75]

So went to GP and now have day 21 blood test booked. Don't know why i thought they wouldn't take me seriously-think i'm not sure i'm grown up enough to be a mummy, lol.
Pleased with myself for taking proactive step on that route (thanks for the push )
Now I can start daydreaming that we'll be one of those mythical couples that i've heard of that, "as soon as *they* started thinking about iui/ivf/adoption etc (delete as appropriate) got pregnant naturally"

I hate to say it, but you can't depend on being one of those mythical couples. I still hold out hope to be one also, but after 10 years of trying, it realistically just isn't going to happen. You have to be proactive in finding out what is wrong.

Also, you do CD3 and CD21 tests in the same month. If you want to find out your ovarian reserve, you need to get a AmH test done with an RE. That will tell you about how much time you have left to try. An antral count will tell you your *current* fertility, but not your *future* chances.

 

[MrsKitty]

So went to GP and now have day 21 blood test booked. Don't know why i thought they wouldn't take me seriously-think i'm not sure i'm grown up enough to be a mummy, lol.
Pleased with myself for taking proactive step on that route (thanks for the push )
Now I can start daydreaming that we'll be one of those mythical couples that i've heard of that, "as soon as *they* started thinking about iui/ivf/adoption etc (delete as appropriate) got pregnant naturally"

I hate to say it, but you can't depend on being one of those mythical couples. I still hold out hope to be one also, but after 10 years of trying, it realistically just isn't going to happen. You have to be proactive in finding out what is wrong.

Also, you do CD3 and CD21 tests in the same month. If you want to find out your ovarian reserve, you need to get a AmH test done with an RE. That will tell you about how much time you have left to try. An antral count will tell you your *current* fertility, but not your *future* chances.

I have to agree re other tests. My fs is only waiting a few months before we do ivf and the reason being my reserve is low. It is not incredibly low but you have to consider it may take several attempts at ivf. It is also important for oh to have sa. I do believe that in the uk you will not get offered all the tests nhs and we decided to go down the private route, though it is expensive. I was also concerned as to the time wasted while waiting for nhs tests but not everyone can go down the private route.