Would this upset you?

[brunette&bubs]

I agree with others that she probably had good intentions.
Didn't want to worry you.

If you suspected it why didn't you just say...
"You know, normally he hysterically cries when I leave him with sitters. Did he cry at all with you?"

If she lied then, then there is a problem.

 

[amotherslove]

i'm also curious how you knew? (honestly just curious.. i'm sure theres a possible way i'm not thinking of.. perhaps it just seemed like they lied?) but anyway, if they left my LO to scream i would LOSE MY FRIGGING MIND at them.. but i also specify that LO is to be soothed when crying and only put down if theyre getting too stressed, and if that needs to happen often or they can't cool down, to simply call me and i'll be home. if baby just cried and cried while being soothed i wouldnt CARE if they told me.. but if i asked i'd be confused about why theyd lie? i would expect her to get upset.. but as long as she was being held and bounced and talked to softly.. i wouldnt be upset that she'd cried.

 

[minties]

It would bother me, I'd rather just know what happened so I can let the sitter know some things they can try for next time.

My grandma did this once when she watched Thomas. She took Thomas and a family friends daughter out (this young lady has a chromosomal disorder and the mental age of about 5, she's in her 20's).

Grandma said Thomas had been fine and happy, but the family friends daughter said "poor Thomas cried lots". She's very innocent and just blurts out stuff, she doesn't make things up.

 

[mommyB]

It would bother me. I once left DS1 with my inlaws while I ran some errands and late that evening while bathing him I noticed a big bruise on his ear. I immediately phoned MIL and asked her if he had fallen and she said yes but he didn't cry so she didn't think anything of it. I told her she needs to tell me these things so I know where certain bumps and bruises come from. Well a couple days later while there for lunch, FIL starts talking about his fall and how he cried a lot!! She straight out lied to me, I figured she did so because she was afraid I wouldn't let her watch DS again. I told her she needs to be up front with me all the time!

 

[Lady_Bee]

Thank you to all who had genuine advice, rather than unfounded judgement, I appreciate it. It helped, and the situation has now been resolved.

I'm glad it was resolved, and perhaps I'm reading this wrong, but are you taking a swipe with the "unfounded judgement" comment? You did ask for honest opinions without offering much background information....?

Sorry if I'm misunderstanding you.

Hmm, maybe, maybe not. I did ask for honest answers to a question. The situation is very sensitive (family members, lots of history) and I don't owe anyone here details or explanations for my reasoning (not that it is even relevant to the question!) nor am I going to discuss such things publicly to a group of strangers. I have learned my lesson regarding that sort of online behavior. I really just wanted to know how others would feel a out being lied to. That's all. Sorry if people thought I was opening the situation to scrutiny. I was not. I'm pretty much done here, since it is no longer an issue. Time to move on with life I think! Shouldn't have posted this in the first place, silly me.

 

[LisaL79]

Ask for the thread to be locked then.
No point in posting passive aggressive replies if you don't want anymore opinions. And posting cute little smilies doesn't somehow hide that you're getting upset over the matter.

Anywho, just to add to the conversation.
I would be bothered if lied to about that, BUT not angry about it.
I don't think anyone wants to be lied to, even if innocently and especially about your LO.

As others have said, probably just didn't want to worry you, or, maybe they thought they were doing something wrong and didn't want you to think they were doing something to cause your LO to cry. *shrugs*

 

[deafgal]

Personally, I would feel like a horrible mom if I couldn't get my baby fall sleep on her own without trying the CIO method and this person could. Especially when I know .my baby cry about everything. It would be highly unusual that she could "play til she drop" and frequently too.

 

[weewdy]

Thank you to all who had genuine advice, rather than unfounded judgement, I appreciate it. It helped, and the situation has now been resolved.

I'm glad it was resolved, and perhaps I'm reading this wrong, but are you taking a swipe with the "unfounded judgement" comment? You did ask for honest opinions without offering much background information....?

Sorry if I'm misunderstanding you.

Hmm, maybe, maybe not. I did ask for honest answers to a question. The situation is very sensitive (family members, lots of history) and I don't owe anyone here details or explanations for my reasoning (not that it is even relevant to the question!) nor am I going to discuss such things publicly to a group of strangers. I have learned my lesson regarding that sort of online behavior. I really just wanted to know how others would feel a out being lied to. That's all. Sorry if people thought I was opening the situation to scrutiny. I was not. I'm pretty much done here, since it is no longer an issue. Time to move on with life I think! Shouldn't have posted this in the first place, silly me.

Im struggling to understand why you posted in the first place! Just delete you thread if you now realise it was a mistake to post it. Glad you have it resolved.

 

[aliss]

This has happened to us too. I know my FIL left our oldest to CIO once, even though he says "oh he was amazing!!!", yet he had baggy red eyes and we could hardly settle him for days afterwards. We just chose to not let him take him at nights until he was much much older. I agree with others that it is probalby with good intentions (some parents believing it is "good intentions" to do what we are too wussy to do) but ya....

Sorry

 

[_jellybean_]

Thank you to all who had genuine advice, rather than unfounded judgement, I appreciate it. It helped, and the situation has now been resolved.

I'm glad it was resolved, and perhaps I'm reading this wrong, but are you taking a swipe with the "unfounded judgement" comment? You did ask for honest opinions without offering much background information....?

Sorry if I'm misunderstanding you.

Hmm, maybe, maybe not. I did ask for honest answers to a question. The situation is very sensitive (family members, lots of history) and I don't owe anyone here details or explanations for my reasoning (not that it is even relevant to the question!) nor am I going to discuss such things publicly to a group of strangers. I have learned my lesson regarding that sort of online behavior. I really just wanted to know how others would feel a out being lied to. That's all. Sorry if people thought I was opening the situation to scrutiny. I was not. I'm pretty much done here, since it is no longer an issue. Time to move on with life I think! Shouldn't have posted this in the first place, silly me.

I can't stand the flower! You're right, you don't "owe" anyone anything, but it can be difficult to try to give you support when we don't know the whole situation. For example, why do you think they lied to you? I think it would be pretty bad to accuse someone of lying just on a gut feeling.

To answer your question...yes, I'd be upset if they lied to me, and I think that anyone would, since that's a natural reaction to deceit. Yes, I think you'd be OTT re. this if you didn't know for sure that s/he were indeed lying.

 

[marina294]

Yes my mil looked after dd once every other week whilst me and oh went footie i always git she was fine bit wingy at nap times. Till sil came out with she wouldnt stop crying accused her of having attitude at 4 months old and said she just laid her on her lap to get over it as she kept doing this when there. Yes they didnt want me worried whilst out but i felt sick she had been crying like this virtually everytime I left. I obviously put them straight told them they shouldve told me as I would've maybe told them how tp try to soothe her. But yes it really upset me they hadnt told me

 

[Lady_Bee]

Thoughts appreciated.

 

[kissesandhugs]

This thread has me totally confused. I don't think I can give a full thought out answer to your question without knowing details. I would be upset if they left out information such as he wouldn't calm down etc. I can always tell bc he does that sharp breath intake after crying terribly....

 

[sg2011]

It doesn't seem appreciated. Why ask a question if you aren't interested in the variety of opinions you might receive? It isn't very mature and frankly rude. Not only that but if you can't or don't want to elaborate on the situation so people have a better understanding why ask the question? You won't get the answers you're looking for if people don't have the full picture. No one forced you to ask the question right?

I would answer the original question but it likely wouldn't be the answer you want!

 

[eulmh82]

How do you know that what they said wasn;t the truth? the lying would upset me but maybe they;re worried that you won;t trust them again. I would say sth like i;m kind of shocked he was so calm we've ha dloads of trouble getting him to go down.

Also grandparents - if that;s who it is have different ideas about what is good/bad! When i class my baby as being grumpy they;ll say he was perfect - he;s a baby babies get grumpy through nobody's fault!

 

[_jellybean_]

How do you know that what they said wasn;t the truth? the lying would upset me but maybe they;re worried that you won;t trust them again. I would say sth like i;m kind of shocked he was so calm we've ha dloads of trouble getting him to go down.

Also grandparents - if that;s who it is have different ideas about what is good/bad! When i class my baby as being grumpy they;ll say he was perfect - he;s a baby babies get grumpy through nobody's fault!

Lol, I agree about grandparents.

 

[BlueHadeda]

Thank you to all who had genuine advice, rather than unfounded judgement, I appreciate it. It helped, and the situation has now been resolved.

I'm glad it was resolved, and perhaps I'm reading this wrong, but are you taking a swipe with the "unfounded judgement" comment? You did ask for honest opinions without offering much background information....?

Sorry if I'm misunderstanding you.

Hmm, maybe, maybe not. I did ask for honest answers to a question. The situation is very sensitive (family members, lots of history) and I don't owe anyone here details or explanations for my reasoning (not that it is even relevant to the question!) nor am I going to discuss such things publicly to a group of strangers. I have learned my lesson regarding that sort of online behavior. I really just wanted to know how others would feel a out being lied to. That's all. Sorry if people thought I was opening the situation to scrutiny. I was not. I'm pretty much done here, since it is no longer an issue. Time to move on with life I think! Shouldn't have posted this in the first place, silly me.

Geez, how rude. You don't owe anyone anything, but a little respect would go a far way. I'm a very curious person, and hate "unresolved" issues. It might be resolved for you! But not to us. You seemed to want to use people on here, without giving anything in return. Not even answering straight, honest questions that was asked in support and a quest to understand and learn more, not in judgement. So yes, it's fine "using" people like that here, you don't owe us anything. But remember, we're all intelligent human beings, and we tend to remember who treated us like crap when we tried to support/help them on a previous thread.