Would you be a surrogate?

[Larkspur]

I really loved being pregnant and had a very easy pregnancy, so I wouldn't think twice about it. I actually considered looking into it after I am done having kids of my own, only thing is, I am already 37 so probably a bit ancient.

For some reason I don't think I would have any trouble separating 'their baby' from 'my body' in the process. Of course, I'd love to be able to see the child grow up afterwards, but if I couldn't, I think it would be enough to know that I'd given a couple the incredible joy of having a child.

Edit: Oh yeah, I should add it would probably be a different story if the child was biologically mine, I don't think I could give up a child that was biologically mine. For donated embryo, absolutely.

 

[Unexpected212]

No I could never do it.

It took a huge physical toll on me and I could barely handle how my body changed. Stretchmarks, saggier boobs, bigger belly etc.

Also I bonded with my baby SO much in the womb. The kicking/rolling inside. I felt so close to the baby before I even met him.

Then my labour was horrific. don't think I'm designed for it! He got stuck, had cord round his neck, my hips are narrow...38 hour labour...got stuck at 7cm...

I don't think I could risk all that for someone else. I don't think I'd want to have another risky birth and labour unless it was for a sibling for my son.

I'd feel kind of selfish if something happened to me because of being a surrogate mother. I also don't think I could hand a baby I'd grown inside me over to someone else.

 

[Becky61]

I would LOVE to say i could help give someone the gift of life, but the answer is no, theres just no way i could do it.
Main reason is the obvious, i would become WAY too attatched.
I also dont know how i would explain it to my son, if he was old enough to see my pregnancy progress, but have no baby brother or sister at the end, would break my heart. Unless he was a teen & completely fully understood surrogacy.
I would like to say i would do it for my little sister, but i couldnt comment until that situation happened.
If i couldnt convieve, & surrogacy was my only option, i would hope there was a woman out there who would do it for me if thats what i wanted. Which is SO selfish i know.
Its just AMAZING there are woman out there that do it.
I dont even know if i could donate my eggs?
Man, i feel like such a nasty, selfish person.
x

 

[PG5K]

I've always thought secretly that I would for my sister, though she wants 3 children in the future... I don't think I could do it that much!

Parts of pregnancy I loved but there was also a hell of it I hated like the spd and labour but for my sister to experience the wonder of having her own child I would definitely do it.

 

[MrsPear]

I think would do it for my sil or one of my best friends. But I don't think they are ever going to ask, and so it's all too easy for me to say I would do it when I don't think I need to any way. It would certainly be incredibly emotionally hard. I found it enough of an emotional battle with an easyish pregnancy. I'd like to think I would do it for them because I love them so much. I'd do anything for them to have what I have with Joni (I think I'd do it anyway). Of course it's always more complex than that, because I am a student and I also want another child of my own... So again it's easy to say yes I would when actually there are barriers to put me off. But in theory yes I hope I would for one the ladies closest to me if they asked.

 

[Bun87]

I absolutely loved every second of being pregnant but I would say I had a very easy pregnancy. Labour was super fast (5.5 hours) and no complications either. I think I would struggle to hand a baby over though after feeling them grow inside me and get stronger each day. I think it's an amazing thing that some women do though

 

[minties]

I'd do it in a heartbeat, I love being pregnant. And after suffering 8 years TTC I'd love to help someone out.

 

[Seity]

I have very easy pregnancies and labors, so I'd do it in a heart beat, but I highly doubt anyone is going to ask me to do it since I turn 40 next month. I'm totally done with the baby thing, so not the least bit worried about giving the baby over at the end.

 

[cupcaker]

No I wouldn't I'm absolutely not strong enough for that I'd just want to keep it

 

[Mrs Bee]

I admire the women that can do this, but I wouldn't be able to carry a baby and then hand it over even knowing the baby wasn't mine, as it would feel mine... I bonded right away with Alice in my belly, I don't think I could agree to have someone else's baby

 

[Sunshine12]

Definately not. I couldnt. I commend anyone that could of course but for me, no x

 

[mommytobe11]

I don't think I ever could It's such an amazing gift, but it's a HUGE gift! I think I'd get too attached.

I know someone that was a surrogate and she did it solely for the money. She didn't know the couple prior to becoming pregnant and hasn't spoken to them since. That seemed so strange to me, that she was able to completely detach herself! She told me everyone tells her what a gift she gave that couple and she tells people it wasn't a big deal and it was just for the money. And she's contemplating doing it again.

 

[Leids]

I wouldn't. Primarily because after I had William I had a lot of issues recuperating and can't imagine going through that for a child that wasn't my own. I would risk causing more long-term issues for myself by doing so.

Had I not had any issues I would have only become a surrogate for a very close family member, like my sister.

It is a nice thing to do for someone, it's a very big sacrifice and I imagine it can be emotionally difficult as well. Definitely not for everyone.

 

[fieryphoenix]

I totally would! I didn't really "bond" with him in utero I guess. I wouldn't have a problem handing the baby over, because it never was mine in the first place ya know? I didn't know surrogates got paid though, I thought that was illegal for some reason...

Eta: I had pretty easy pregnancy and delivery, I'm sure I'd say no if it had been difficult

 

[1eighty]

i would, for my SIL (they can't have kids of their own for a few different reasons), but only after i was done having my own! and i would for my BFF, but she's had 2 of her own and is debating no. 3 so she's got no problems there.

i wouldn't do it for money though. there's too much emotion for that.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I would but I've had two C-sections and don't like the idea of another

 

[chelseav1213]

I would do it for anyone that needed it, I love helping people, along with donating blood and bone marrow, kidneys, anything I coud spare, but unfortunatly im not healthy enough and ive been told I wont be able to, cant even be an organ donor after ive passed. :/ but I understand completely why some women would never be able to do that, it would be very hard!! it does suck how I want to help and cant, but I do understand why no one wants anything from me!

 

[bumpbear]

I'm quite selfish, and knowing how attached I got to my LO when she was inside of me, I dont think I could carry and give away a child without a lot of emotional trauma. So no, I dont think I could do it. I'd not be too fussed about the physical side if that was all that was involved.

 

[dozydormouse]

I've started thinking about whether I could for my sister in law (husband's sister) or not.

She had a miscarriage while I was going into hospital to deliver my baby (my first) 2 months ago. I felt SO sad for them and the thought of their distress if they continue to try unsuccessfully would be unbearable. It's early days yet though and it took me a year and a half to fall pregnant, so I'll give it time of course.

Wish I hadn't read this thread last night before going to sleep though. Had the most disturbing dream! Dreamt I was pregnant, by a good friend who I know really wants a family but he's unattached. I had an awful night! there was absolutely NO dtd in the dream, thank god, maybe it was a turkey baster or something

 

[OmiOmen]

I think it is amazing that some women do this and commend them for it but I never could. I can not see how you would get around the bonding issue. Plus there is no way I would ever take the risks involved in pregnancy for someone else. My first pregnancy I had pre-eclampsia and in my second me and DS2 were minute away from death and I wouldn't kill myself to help someone out and that would be a possible outcome if I was to get pregnant again. Even if I was one of the women who have easy pregnancies I still wouldn't be able to give the baby up in the end and I am just not mentally strong enough to do something like that.