would you be comfortable with your best friend at the birth?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by xpensivtaste, Nov 19, 2011.

  1. xpensivtaste

    xpensivtaste Well-Known Member

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    i have been thinking since my mum has got a new job that i need a back up secondary birth partner.....just incase my mum cant make it in time as she now works nights as a carer so would struggle to get cover during the night and would be sleeping all day.
    i would really like my best friend there i think. i know she really wants to be there and i know OH could do with a bit of moral support or if for some reason one of them wants to nip for some fresh air or a coffee i can have someone with me the majority of the time.
    how would you feel about having your best friend at the birth?
     
  2. Sweetk1

    Sweetk1 Well-Known Member

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    I had my mum with me, my OH was at home in bed! He was there initially and had the cheek to say "why are you pulling them faces, it's only pain" so I told him to get out.
    Lol, he is so useless anyway.
    I would definitely have my best friend there, as long as your comfortable with them seeing you in all your glory lol
     
  3. xpensivtaste

    xpensivtaste Well-Known Member

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    oh that wasn't very nice of him, men can be so insensitive sometimes can't they. i would love my mum there but if she cant then she cant. i dont want to be distraught when the time comes if i cant have her with me so atleast if i have my friend as backup i will be a little more relaxed. i dont mind my friend seeing all....as i recall, last time i wouldn't have cared who was there i just got down to business. we have been friends for 8 years so she is practically family anyway. =D
     
  4. JessBurgess

    JessBurgess Active Member

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    Heya, im having my best friend at my birth, it feels more comfortable if you know the person, and if your mum cant make it, the next closest person is just as good :) <3 x
     
  5. xpensivtaste

    xpensivtaste Well-Known Member

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    yeah i agree. i feel more comfortable having my best friend there than my sister. i love my sister but we are not as close as my best friend and i are. when i mentioned to my friend i may want her as back up she told me she had already told her boss at work lol "just incase"

    my 15 year old brother really wants to be at the birth. i had to tell him no as i dont want him to see me in pain and distressed. even though he thinks he can handle it he is really quite sensitive. i was rather shocked he asked me. we used to watch one born every minute together and he loves to feel his nephew kick but i think him being at the birth is a little too much for him to handle. maybe next time if there is one or i am pretty sure one day he will experience it for himself in years to come when he has children. bless him.
     
  6. mummyruston

    mummyruston New mummy to baby girl

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    I'd love my best friend there. She's a teacher so won't be available but if its the weekend then absolutely!

    She is like my sister and I know she would be an amazing support...

    My ~OH said to me on hearing a colleagues birth said to me - do you expect me to be awake if you have a long labour through the night........

    men!!
     
  7. EstelSeren

    EstelSeren Married Mum of 2!

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    I'd definitely be comfortable and happy having my best friend at the birth along with my husband! Unfortunately he lives a couple hundred miles away and the whole concept of watching disturbs and scares him! :haha:

    Beca :wave:
     
  8. Cashewnut

    Cashewnut Mum to Abigail

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    One of my best friends is my birthing partner, she knows all of my wishes, plus gets on well with my OH, deals well in difficult situations and knows how to keep me pre-occupied if needs be. My OH will be there too, but he isnt great wih hospitals or blood so the added support will be fantastic :)
     
  9. Little_bump

    Little_bump Well-Known Member

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    I was there when my best friend gave borth because the dad was a waste of space and still is now. It was nice for her to have strong moral support as she had no one else :)
     
  10. Cleo

    Cleo Happy mom to F & L!

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    I think having a friend would be a great support...I think they'd push you along and motivate you even more than OH! (OH's tend to have a hard time seeing us in pain and are not sure what to do :haha:)
     
  11. Buttercup84

    Buttercup84 2 girls, 1 boy

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    Yep! My best friend is my backup birthing partner if my mum or bf can't make it (can't see when this would happen but just in case!)
     
  12. cantwaitforu

    cantwaitforu Mom of two boys and prego

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    DH will be with me. If he wasn't able to, I'd have my mother. If neither of them could, I would have my BFF there in a heartbeat. She already has a LO and knows how to be supportive, she has seen me at my worst and would also be very honoured and fascinated to watch/be there!
     
  13. sarahdilan

    sarahdilan Well-Known Member

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    I had my best friend at my sons birth. Mum woz at home with dd. She had had a baby a few months before me and wanted to see it from a different viewpoint. She was fantastic. As for seeing me in all my glory ... I was far too distracted by pain to care who saw what lol.

    She did say after that she'd rather do it than watch it. Must be true as she's now on baby 6. Lol
     
  14. JohnsPrincess

    JohnsPrincess Well-Known Member

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    My mom lives in a different state and we all decided that it would be better for her not to come and for us to come see her when baby is about 2 weeks old, for about 2 weeks. That way we know that she can spend the ENTIRE time with him. So I've asked Dh's cousin to be in the room with us. She's a newish friend, but a very good one! None of my Best friends live where we do but if they did I wouldn't have an issue with it at all!
     
  15. Amethyste

    Amethyste Mummy to Ella

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    It is what you (and your OH) feel most comfortable with hun. Personally, I can't imagine anyone else than my OH but it depends of people. Not sure who i would get if OH wasn't here as my family live in france...
     
  16. cupcakemomma

    cupcakemomma Finally have our miracle!

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    I would loooove if my best friend could be there. But, she recently moved to Texas, so that's not gonna happen :(
     
  17. Tiggerbump

    Tiggerbump Well-Known Member

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    Hey there. Im totally having my best friend with me. OH is great, but i know he will annoy me! lol. i have said that i would have her and OH through all the long labour bits and then just OH for the birth. plus she is the only one that can calm me down and stop me from killing the OH. lol. as the midwife said, its your labour and birth and you can do what you want to make yourself comfy. keep well ladies.
     
  18. xpensivtaste

    xpensivtaste Well-Known Member

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    i like that you wrote she is the only one who can calm you down lol. its awesome that you are so close. it's the same for us, my best friend is my voice of reason, even more so than my mum sometimes. my partner is great but he's a man. he tries his best to be supportive when i am ill but i end up pushing him away as he tends to crowd me and i dont see it being any different when i am labour as much as i love him i know i will try to take my anger out on him. atleast with another woman there for support she can translate how i am feeling to him if all that leaves my mouth are obscenities lol.
    its nice to see so many of you would be comfortable with it. i never thought i would until recently. there is certainly no other friend i would want there so goes to show how dear this friend is to me.
     
  19. AP

    AP Well-Known Member
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    If its what you want then why not? I personally wouldn't if OH is there as I feel it's a intimate family moment but everyone is different
     
  20. tannembaum

    tannembaum Little Elsie bums mum!

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    Actually, the only person apart from OH I would be okay with at the birth would be my best friend (although I think it would put her off for life :haha:) I think she would bring a bit of humour to the situation which would be much needed lol.
     

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