Would you do this?

[Boo44]

No way! What happens if she does this regularly as a routine and someone is watching her? (like an ex, or just a weirdo). It wouldnt take long if they knew the kid was home alone to break in and snatch the child once she was in the shop. It sounds dramatic, but thought out attacks like this do happen.

If you know she does this regularly and you find out her address I would report her. x

My thoughts exactly. It reminds me in a mini way of the Madeleine McCann scenario. The bets are that they were being watched and so the possible abductor saw their chance. Yes, this is far fetched and in all likelihood her daughter will be absolutely fine, but I'm sure the McCanns thought that too, after all they had done it for the few nights before that night with no problems. But why on EARTH would you risk it???

 

[Natsku]

I wouldn't do that. I leave Maria in the house while I take the bins out, fetch the post in from the box or get something from the store room (about 20 metres from the house) but going to a cafe to get a coffee - you never know if there's going to be a queue or you meet someone and start chatting (like in this case) or anything else that prolongs the time.

And I don't go while Maria is asleep, I go when she's awake and tell her I'm taking the bin out etc so she knows where I am and doesn't worry. Would hate for her to wake up and wonder where I am.

 

[.Mrs.B.]

Risk a child's life for a coffee? No way. I watched a video on a firefighter course once and it showed a mum who had literally left her house for 10 minutes and came back to find her house up in flames and all her 3 children were dead. She had gone to the shops. Not to mention kidnapping.
It breaks my heart because it's the children that suffer the consequences.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I would never do that! I am shocked that she left her child alone in the house just so that she could go for a coffee

 

[jd83]

Wow, um no. no no no. The thought makes me ill what could have happened to her or the kids in the time frame, and then the kids are home by themselves...Scary. I run out the mailbox or something quick like that while the kids are in the house, but that's literally just at the end of the driveway. I'd never go further than that with them in the house by themselves. They are too young, and too many things could go wrong.

And seriously, how bad did she need a cup of coffee and cake that she felt the need to leave them at home alone??? She could have taken them with her after their naps. Or made a cup of coffee at home.

 

[KatieB]

Just the thought of doing that makes me feel ill inside. No way would I ever do it.

 

[misspriss]

No. I feel odd going to the mailbox across the street or out in the garage where I can't hear him cry very well. I wouldn't do it.

 

[Loozle]

No way! What happens if she does this regularly as a routine and someone is watching her? (like an ex, or just a weirdo). It wouldnt take long if they knew the kid was home alone to break in and snatch the child once she was in the shop. It sounds dramatic, but thought out attacks like this do happen.

If you know she does this regularly and you find out her address I would report her. x

My thoughts exactly. It reminds me in a mini way of the Madeleine McCann scenario. The bets are that they were being watched and so the possible abductor saw their chance. Yes, this is far fetched and in all likelihood her daughter will be absolutely fine, but I'm sure the McCanns thought that too, after all they had done it for the few nights before that night with no problems. But why on EARTH would you risk it???

This is exactly what I thought of too. It's not that different to the McCann's going out and leaving their children in bed.

For the record no, I wouldn't leave a toddler alone. The most I've ever done is popped out to the car or out to the bins and only if both boys are at home. I trust that ds1 (aged 9 years) is old enough for me to leave the house for 1 minute or less. If we have been food shopping I will bring in what I can with the boys but the reality is that we live in a first floor flat and taking a 3 year old up and down the stairs several times is more dangerous than leaving him playing with his (sensible!) 9 year old brother.

 

[catty]

oh god no after Madeline Mcann type stories id be far too scared.
If i have lots of shopping the car i dont even bring it in until their napping

 

[MommyJogger]

Wow, I thought I was one of the least relaxed moms. My answer would depend on the personality of the child, the way the house is set up, and exactly where it was in relation to the coffee shop. I wouldn't leave the house to go do shopping or get coffee, but I have gone out to the yard to do some yard work or walk over to deliver something to our one neighbor or clean out the car. My 2yo doesn't really freak out if he wakes up and I'm not there, he just goes to the window and tells me he's awake. The likelihood of anything happening to him or me while I'm out are astronomically low, it would really just be whether he'd be distressed at my absence I'd be worried about.
I can't believe kids aren't allowed to be alone until 14 though. There are younger kids around here biking to school. And if they were my kids, I would probably be willing to leave the neighbor's 7/8, 10, or 12 year olds home alone. Probably not the 5yo, but that's more due to personality because I've sat for several 5yos that could definitely manage to safely be home alone for about 15-20 minutes because they know how to use the telephone.

 

[Starry Night]

I definitely wouldn't leave a toddler alone to go around the corner to get coffee or run any sort of errand. But I think it's over-the-top to say it's always wrong to leave your kid in bed when you're out in your own yard. How is it different from going to the basement or another part of the house? I carry my monitor with me wherever I go. I also make sure their windows are closed and the doors (to the outside) are locked.

And I think it's silly if it really is the law that kids have to be teenagers before they can be alone at all. I think restricted independence is good for kids. It just depends on their personality. I was about 10 when my mom first started leaving my siblings and I alone. She would do it for short errands in the beginning and she made us stay in the basement (our toys and the TV were down there) and would leave instructions to not answer the door or phone.

I think it's good to teach kids how to safely be on their own. How young that is should largely be up to the parents but within reason. I do think toddlers are too young.

 

[sue_88]

There's a massive difference from going over 100+yards to your house for coffee! then out mowing your lawn / at your car / doing the bins etc.

I don't think people can understand at all when they've got a partner etc to help with those jobs but I HAVE to at some point do them and I'd rather my LO was safely asleep in her cot (which she can't get out of) then anywhere near the lawn mower, or alone in the living room (which is proofed but toddlers can still be devils).

I would always stay on my property, furthest I'd go is the end of the drive with the bins but I'm still out of ear shot for 2/3mins but my LO will be fine in that time. Mowing the lawn is within a locked gate, and I don't mow the front lawn because it doesn't grow really.

 

[catty]

I think the difference for me is that i live in a flat so if i was out in the garden without the children i wouldnt hear them until they are hysterical (2nd floor)
Someone could also go into my block of flats through the front door whilst i was out the back and i wouldnt know.

A family member left her 3 children in their bed and went to the next block of flats 2 mins away, her eldest who was 7 woke up and went to the neighbours to tell them her mum wasnty there, they called the police and she was done with child neglect and since has had social services round due to it. She is an amazing mum which really scares me. She is a single mum and was picking up something important not getting a coffee

 

[katherinegrey]

If I turn around for five seconds to put something back in a cupboard or something I can guarantee my toddler will have done something awful in that time. He'd demolish the house if I left him alone to get coffee!
In all seriousness though, I would never, ever do this. What if he bangs his head and is lying there bleeding whilst I'm getting coffee? What if someone sees I've left the house, fancies my TV and breaks in not realising there's a child there? Even worse, what if someone breaks in because they know a child is there alone? What if I'm 100% sure I turned my curlers off, only I actually haven't and the house burns down? What if today is the day he figures out my child locks and gets into the cupboard full of cleaning supplies? Far too many 'what ifs' to ever consider it.

 

[RaspberryK]

I'm a lot more relaxed than most here, I'll happily go out to my car, out to my garden across a private drive and chat to my neighbour a few minutes after I finish hanging out the washing.
I don't mind leaving him while he's awake or napping for these chores.
But no I wouldn't go get a coffee.
I had a shock once where he was reliably napping in his cot for 2-3 hours (dh works nights and was asleep but knew I was going) so I went to do the weekly food shop.
Ds woke and climbed out (something I didn't know he could do), couldn't wake dh so went downstairs and helped himself to a snack.
He was not at all bothered I wasn't there and thankfully nothing happened.
Xx

 

[AngelofTroy]

I go in my garden/to the bins, I don't feel that's the same, I've rang the doorbell next door to get a parcel they'd taken in for me. I don't see that as a big deal, I vacuum while he's asleep too so I wouldn't hear him cry then either I also think I'll give Micah quite a bit of freedom/responsibility as he gets older, but 2 years old is just too young for me, and a coffee just isn't any sort of reason to do that!

 

[Natsku]

I give Maria loads of freedom and I'm very relaxed (let her play in the park across the road, and if I'm at OH's dad's I'll leave her playing with the other kids while I'm out of sight in the garage with OH) but I wouldn't leave her where she couldn't reach me if she needed me so going to a shop or cafe is out of the question (well maybe if I lived literally next door to one)

 

[MommyJogger]

100 yards sounds like she is next door though. That's why I said it would depend on the exact layout for me. There's a house in the "downtown" (lol) of where we live that's right next to a gelato shop. I'd probably not worry popping to that shop if I lived there. What's the real risk difference walking 100y to get a package from a neighbor and 100 yards to get a coffee from a "neighbor"?

 

[Natsku]

100 yards is 90 metres I think, that's quite a bit further than 'next door'

 

[minties]

Yeah, 100 metres is a lot further away than my mail box or my neighbours!

I happily mow the lawn while Sophie is asleep and Thomas is watching TV. I don't own a monitor. Our house is ground level and small.

No way I would wander off down the road though.