Would you keep trying?

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by george83, Mar 23, 2016.

  1. george83

    george83 Well-Known Member

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    I have 3 gorgeous little boys who I love dearly but I still can't get over my sadness at not having had a baby girl. I find myself questioning whether we could practically try for a fourth baby and although I know that it would be crazy for us to do so I sometimes feel that in a couple of years we could maybe try.

    My biggest fear though is that if we had a fourth boy my disappointment would be far to strong to hide or ignore and would affect things somehow. I can almost picture myself thinking what was the point of going through everything again just to end up with another boy. This is the reason that outright stops me wanting to try again.

    Just out of curiosity- not for advice - would any of you keep trying or do you have the same fear of the disappointment being too real?
     
  2. Emma&Freya

    Emma&Freya Well-Known Member

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    When I had my first baby I was team yellow...deep down I wanted a girl, I got my beautiful baby girl.

    Second pregnancy, I felt that I had to have a boy...found out at my scan she was another girl.. I was made up!

    My OH Came out the room and his whole attitude changed, he stopped talking to my belly, I was heartbroken, mentioned it to him and he denys it.

    Id love another baby now, I honestly wouldnt mind either or but cant even bring myself to try for one for fear its a little girl!

    I dont think I could try again if I was to have another baby
     
  3. laila 44

    laila 44 Well-Known Member

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    I'm having my third girl and we are thrilled because we always wanted 3 girls in particular. However, I wouldn't consider a fourth bc I wouldn't want 4 girls lol. For me that's just too much. I wouldn't mind a boy but I don't want 4 girls therefore I feel that gamble would be a big one to take and we decided to stop here. If you go for a 4th you need to be ready and willing to accept another boy. I wouldn't go try for a 4th with the idea that it will be a girl bc it might not and you will suffer huge dissapointment. I think if you do go for #4 just make sure you are ok either way, otherwise I wouldn't xx
     
  4. Misscalais

    Misscalais Well-Known Member

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    No. I was done after 3 boys, i love my boys and did not want to ever go through the GD i felt with DS3. I did not want another boy so i knew it was absolutely no more. However i got pregnant un expectedly which really put a strain on my mental health. DH and i went through a terrible patch, he wanted me to abort etc i was obsessing over the fact that i didn't want another boy. It was just awful, another boy would have been loved just as much as my other sons of course but i truly just didn't want any more kids at all. Im happy to say that im due very soon with a little girl, i still can't believe it to be honest and can't wait to see her in real life.
     
  5. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    I have three boys and were done but deep down Ino I'd love another for the chance of a girl
    I love my boys so much but I was really upset when I found out baby number three was a boy and I'm scared if I have another and it's a boy I'd be even more upset my boys are my world and I wouldn't change them cruz my youngest has brought me so much joy but I do still want a girl but where do u draw the line I could have 10 babies and never have a girl
    X
     
  6. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    Also I add I don't think really if I had another boy I'd be overly sad because I'm not sad at having boys just the fact of not having girls I think I'd be upset and then I'd be ok just like this time X
     
  7. lau86

    lau86 Well-Known Member

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    If I couldn't say I would be happy (if not 100% happy then at least mostly), with either gender then personally I wouldn't get pregnant
     
  8. MeaganMackenz

    MeaganMackenz Well-Known Member

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    I am on the same fence. I have 3 girls. I had a HORRIBLE pregnancy and for many reasons like 20+ week ms, terrible SPD in the last 2 months and a labour I'd wish on no one I shouldn't be considering a 4th. I know Wed end up with another girl. But the want to gamble is there. I don't know if well do it. I'm only 27. Hubby seems against it but also won't get a vasectomy either. Never say never. I'm a gambling kinda gal lol
     
  9. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    My oh doesn't want any more either but I'm sure I could win him round if I wanted X
     
  10. kittylady

    kittylady Mother of 3, due #4

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    No unfortunately because of logistics. I'm driving what I call the van which is a 7 seater now and I have to drive my mother and mother-in-law around. So with my husband, the parents and 3 kids (including new baby) we have no .more room. After 7 seats the insurance is unaffordable for us. My husband doesn't want anymore anyway. He didn't want 3 but he has accepted it because it's happened.
     
  11. george83

    george83 Well-Known Member

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    This is exactly how I feel, something that's so hard to explain to people who don't understand including my oh even
     
  12. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    Excali Hun it is hard to explain
    I really don't want any more children really tho I'm happy with my three I've been pregnant for what seems like forever I'm finally starting to lose weight my eldest starts school in September and I want to start enjoying the next stages of life but Then a part of me will always want a girl who knows maybe in a few years time I'm 28 so still time for another but time will tell. I hope you get ur girl one day Hun x
     
  13. lau86

    lau86 Well-Known Member

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    You're still young Hun you could have a 5-7 yr age gap and still have another baby. Lots of things could change in that time. Hope you all get your girls if that's what you want x
     
  14. campn

    campn Well-Known Member

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    I would say don't just have a fourth in case you get a girl, as its a 50% chance every pregnancy so unless you want 4 kids anyway don't go for it.

    We still don't know what we're having this time but I want a girl so bad, if it's another boy we're going to be done, as I don't think I can handle 3 boys, if over the next few years we want a third kid I'd have to really work on myself with being okay with three boys, but I won't go for baby #3 really wanting a girl, I hope that makes sense and help you in any way.
     
  15. chelsealynnb

    chelsealynnb Wife & mommy <3

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    I kept trying. I have 3 boys and am pregnant now with a girl (finally)
     
  16. ElmoBumpToBe

    ElmoBumpToBe Well-Known Member

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    I'm pregnant with our 4th baby, we have three boys, I was truly devastated when I found out my third was a boy (he is an absolutely adorable little thing!!) I have been saying since the day I found out that I don't mind this time, that I will be just as happy with a boy....but today I did the ramzi theory with my 7 week scan pic and I'm absolutely convinced now that we are having our fourth boy...only then did the disappointment sink in and I started to realise that actually I was still desperate for a girl after all.

    I honestly think apart from my own sadness at not having that mother daughter relationship, it's other people who don't help. Everyone around me acts so openly disappointment with each boy that I have! X
     
  17. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    Bless you Hun there is still every chance u hear girl
    Good luck :)
    Yeh excali people are so rude I have three boys also and sick of people and there rude comments X
     
  18. ElmoBumpToBe

    ElmoBumpToBe Well-Known Member

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    It's shocking how rude people can be about it! We love our boys to death xx
     
  19. george83

    george83 Well-Known Member

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    I think other people's reactions makes my disappointment much worse, I love my boys and wouldn't change them but all I ever hear are comments about not having a girl. I'm just going back to work after finishing my maternity leave and new colleagues etc are asking the same questions - what did you have? Is it your first? Aww aren't you sad? Did you want a girl? Will you try for your girl?

    I know I'm touchy about them but really how rude is it all the time
     

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