WTT #2 or TTC...confused

[Aphy]

Hi All

I am in such a difficult space currently . My head says we should start trying for #2 due to me getting older, age gap, and also looking how long it took me to fall pregnant the first time. So logically I know I want another one but emotionally I have no urge or need because my lb satisfies and fulfills me so thoroughly. I know I will regret it if we never end up having #2 so its definitely going to happen but I am just so confused. I actually went ahead and had my mirena removed last week but I still doubt whether we are doing the right thing . Currently, my lb is 20months and his favorite thing to do is rough and tumble with mommy,using my stomach as a trampoline (ouch!) so if I had to fall pregnant now, that would all have to stop which I feel would be unfair to him, almost like I am cheating him out of his childhood. It would be so much easier if he was older and could show a desire to have a sibling, then I wouldnt feel any guilt etc. When I try get DH input regarding tcc #2, he says he is worried about the cost and how busy and hectic life would be with 2 kids (please note that none of this was mentioned when I discussed with him the idea of having the mirena taken out ) so he isnt much help currently in sorting out whether we should actually go ahead or not. It took me quite long to fall pregnant the first time and needed clomid etc to get me ovulating so I cant help thinking that if it takes so long again, then the age gap would be fine etc and the longer I wait, the more complicated it might get cause of age etc. One day I feel like whatever, if it happens it happens then the next I think we shouldnt even try cause what if it actually happens quickly and then Im not ready.

How has anyone else dealt with ambivalence?

 

[alibaba24]

Not exactly similar but when I fell pregnant with #2 I done it out of practicality. Knowing I didn't want a massive age gap with her sister. There is exactly 4 years between them. I also felt totally happy with just the one child but once #2 was born I loved the baby phase all over again and I loved the fact her sister was a little more independent and at nursery so I had plenty time with the baby. No regrets here. Those feelings will come at some point for you x

 

[Lunabelle]

You definately wouldn't be cheating him out of his childhood, but giving him such a great gift. All of those fun games that you are currently enjoying with him like the belly rodeo can just change forms a little, instead you could bounce him on your leg while you're laying on your back. Or if you are sitting and bouncing him on your knees and dropping him between your legs.

But I understand you, having a second child is a big commitment and your little one will have to share your attention.

My little one is 21months and we are WTT in September. I don't have a baby fever and I am not desperate for another one- not like when we were TTC our first born. But I know long term I definatly want a sibling for our DD so the way I see it is if you can't bear the thought of not having another one don't risk it. I think the baby fever will come with the pregnancy. I would imagine which senario is worse for you; getting pregnant immediately and having a newborn and 2,5 old or WTT but it taking long again and never having a second child.

But of course waiting a few months is probably not going to make a major difference - You probably were trying for a while before you knew what was wrong- now you have the treatment for it so hopefully you will get pregnant quicker too.

 

[Aphy]

Thank you for the replies. It really helps to hear that its ok to feel this way. Looks like the final decision currently is to rather WTT until later in the year once DH has seen whether he is getting an increase and bonus from work. I am not sure what will happen if he doesn't get it, whether that means we wait even longer but will have that discussion with him at some stage. Based on my body symptoms I am currently in my fertile period and I do feel like its a wasted opportunity but I guess a few months wont make such a big difference, like Lunabelle says. I plan on just enjoying every single second with my little toddler until then

 

[Samanthamoss]

Currently trying for baby #2 with no luck

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

My kids were born in Feb 2005, may 2006 and dec 2007. We have been trying since and had a loss in sep 2009. If I fall pregnant, there would be an 11 YEAR gap. Not ideal but I'd deal with it. I love that my kids are close. Are they best friends? Matters on the day, lol. Most siblings are that way though.

Gap or not, you'll make it work. Ovarian cancer made the choice for me to wait.