Yor last resort

[sparkle83]

anyone else got a last resort plan, like if IVF doesnt work? When will you move to that plan?

We have a friend who likes the ideaof surrogacy, and I think we may well go down that route as our last resort. She'd have to provide the eggs as ovulation is my problem (DH uber-high sperm count). I think maybe we'll do a few more years of meds etc, and then when I hit 30, we'll look at alternatives...

what about you?

 

[jk28]

Hi there

I feel like I'm in my last resort plan!! I've got a very poor egg quality & Dr has basically says the only way I'll have a healthy pg & baby is to think about donor eggs, so that's where we are!! I never took having a baby for granted, as I'm adopted myself so knew that some people struggled to conceive, but neither did I expect this. Still coming to terms with it all really.

Love Jayne

 

[Kelly9]

Our last resort plan would be adoption I think. We are having problems cause of DH's morphology so we're gearing up for IUI in the next 6 months then if that doesn't work IVF and if that doesn't work and DH is against donor sperm then we'll look at adoption. We're going to go all the way. If it were my abilities to carry that were the problem I would ask my sister to be a surrogate for me.

 

[kristy87]

tbh, i havent really thought about if everything doesnt work. x

 

[NeyNey]

We don't class it as a last resort, as we don't want to look back at that atmosphere surrounding the arrival of a child into our lives...if that makes sense. But we are considering adoption, in fact we've begun the process - although we've hit bumps along the way (I work too much, apparently that makes us not qualified as prospective parents - a problem that can be solved). We are considering overseas adoption as we like the chance to help someone less fortunate.

But it's not our "last resort" so to speak, it's just a different path to the same goal

 

[rachelle1975]

I'm with NeyNey

Not a last resort but we have different options. We are having TX due to DH's swimmers and if IVF/ICSI doesn't work then we will look into adoption. I personally don't want to go down the route of donor sperm as if it can't be 'both of ours' then i would rather it was 'neither of ours' - and with so many lovely kids wanting a family environment, i know we could give them that

 

[Mrs G]

Hi

We haven't thought about it tbh as the whole ivf thing is still quite new to us. I agree with rach though and I think that if the baby wasn't both ours then I'd rather it was neither. I mean, I think I'd rather adopt than use a donor. Easy for me to say at this point though I guess.

x

 

[Lilly123]

we would def adopt... although i also would not see it as last resort as it is something we want to do anyway, whether IVF works or not.. we would also do a international adoption and are looking at ethiopia.... have already started asking questions, but here in switzerland, both partners have to be 35 and i am 34 this year and DH 33 so we have to wait anyway....

xxx

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

adoption is my very last resort, before that is donor eggs then before that is what im having now..

 

[kristy87]

i agree i would rather adopt than use doner sperm, rather like you say it was neither of ours than just 1 x

 

[CareBear]

I'm on my last option - clomid and HCG jabs, I have three cycles left (when I go back on treatment) and if they don't work thats it. I don't want to try IUI and IVF as I firmly believe the amount of stress they will cause me would be counter productive to it working and after seeing the assessment reports for adoption I won't go through that either, as that is just as intensive as IUI and IVF but in a different way and knowing the type of person I am I would struggle a lot with the assessment and the whole process. So I think my final resort is a puppy!

 

[Ilove]

I think our last resort would be a sperm donor. We have talked and he says he would be ok with it, and I would be too, it would still be our child. Its just far from ideal obviously. And very much a last resort

We have considered adoption and have always wanted to adopt anyway, so I think it would come to a decision between those two if "last resort" time felt like it was with us

 

[chefamy1122]

We are going to try the alternative treatments for a while longer, then probably another IUI and and IVF, and that does not work, we have already decided we are going to adopt

 

[maz]

I don't count any of our future options as last resorts ...

We have had two failed IVF cycles and are just waiting for our one and only NHS cycle to start in the next few months. If that doesn't work, we might go for another private cycle.

After that our options are : embryo donation - not biologically either of ours so would theoretically be the same as adoption. There there is adoption, which we would like to do regardless of whether we have our own biological / donated child(ren). There's plenty of children out there in need of a loving home, and me and hubster could definitely provide that. It might be seen as a last resort by some, as the process takes so long, and you can't be undergoing fertility treatment, or have undergone fertility treatment within six months, during the application process (which takes approx 2 years). So, I'm now 32. Assuming none of our IVF options work, and at the end of 2010 we start the adoption process, I could be 36 before we get our adopted child(ren) - how poo is that???

There's always dogs after that too!!!!!

 

[obe]

I think I must be the odd one out! Our doctor suggested a sperm doner if things dont go to plan(icsi). I had never really thought about it until then but I think that would be the option we would go for. My oh had the snip after having children with his ex, I dont have children of my own and feel the need to have my own child. I have discussed this with him and how it would make him feel bringing up a child that really isnt his, but he insists it would be OUR child regardless of how it was made and it would be loved just as much.
Some times I do feel selfish, as maybe things would be different if oh didnt already have children, but thats how things are. This may come across in the wrong way, but I feel I shouldnt have the chance of giving birth to my own child just because my oh made a bad choise with his ex.
Dont get me wrong, there are lots of babies out their in need of loving families and adoption is the right choise for alot of couples.

 

[Curlywurly]

We've kinda talked about options but my DH is going through that alpha male stage of 'if I can't have my own I don't want any' (I've PCOS). Before I was diagnosed we had already done fostering training but put this off as wanted to try for our own first. Since then DH's opinion has changed to that of the above. He may come round but the thoughts of the stress of the assesments and then 5 year waiting list for adoption (so I have heard for here in NI) doesnt enthuse our hopes! Adopting abroad not an option as costs can run up between £10-20k and I'm still sitting on the fence re taking a child out of its own culture debate as well. Works for some, I'm just still quite confused and trying to get to grips with everything...

We've 2 cycles left on Clomid and then will go on the waiting list for our one NHS IVF cycle.

I don't think I can face what we will do yet if we're unsuccessful, all I know is that is has entirely changed my focus on life and what we're meant to do with it. Does anybody else get like that? I've never been particularly maternal tbh but when you're told you cant it opens up a whole load of emotions and closets I wasn't prepared for! I have mentioned if we don't get the BFP that I want to go travelling for a few years but my DH loves where we live and seems so settled I'm not sure if he would go.

Ce sera and in God's hands, if we don't have children God obviously has other plans for us.

Good luck to all xo

 

[smokey]

Me and hubby was talking about it the other night and both agree that adoption is fine with both of us we both instantly agreed it was either both of ours or neither of ours there was no other option, we dont want sperm or egg doners and especialy not a surrogate as i know full well that will just tear me apart.
Im glad others have the same view of both or neither because I was worrying that just made me stupid to rule that out.