You ALL give me strength!!! IVF this summer!!!

[mrshanna]

Hi ladies! DH and I are scheduled with my FS in exactly one week to come up with our IVF game plan. It has been a long and painful road to get to this point. After finding out that both of my tubes are blocked in Dec 2011 I sank into a horrible depression. I managed to convince myself that being a Mom is just not meant to be for me. That I should just give up and move on with my life. Eventually, though, I realized that being a Mom is ALL i want.

Reading all of your stories and posts has reminded me that I am far from being alone! You are all so strong and brave and I commend all of you!!! If anyone would like to share this journey with me, both the smiles and the tears, I would welcome some friends who know what I'm going through!

 

[highhopes2013]

Hi! I've been TTC for almost 3 years now. Went through IVF in jan and finally got my first ever BFP but sadly lost the baby at 11 weeks. I'm now trying to find the strength to go through round 2 of IVF this summer. Would be great to share the journey!

 

[mrshanna]

Hello highhopes! I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I can't imagine how devastated you were. I'm trying so hard to not get too excited yet, but at the same time feel like it is silly to go into this already thinking negatively. My DH, on the other hand, is crazy optimistic!!!

 

[highhopes2013]

Had my final scan today to confirm there was no tissue left in my uterus. Felt really sad but at least we can start to look forward to the next cycle now.

U shud be thinking positively - it can work! Going through it once has given me a lot of hope for the second cycle. I was too scared to get excited the first time - didnt want to get my hopes up. But now that I've seen it work firsthand I genuinely do believe I will have a baby one day. So in going to try to be really positive for my next cycle.

Going back to see the consultant tomorrow to review the first cycle and discuss the next steps - quite excited about that!

Have u had all ure appointments now? Do u have a rough start date?

 

[jack79]

Hi ladies

If it's ok I might join u both!

I think we've maybe crossed paths before highhopes (I recognise your name). So sorry to hear that you miscarried - it must be so so difficult especially after going through IVF and getting to 11 weeks, but glad you're feeling optimistic about the next cycle.

My husband and I have finally reached the top of the IVF waiting list after TTC since Jan 2010. We have our first appt for blood tests/amh levels next Tuesday and will find out then when we actually start - reckon it will be May as we have been invited to an info evening at the hospital mid-May where they will go through the whole process of IVF including the drugs, appts, worries/concerns etc.

I'm quite excited, but like you, mrshanna, I don't want to get my hopes up too much!

Would be good to share the journey with others going through the same thing. xx

 

[jack79]

highhopes just noticed you posted in a thread I started yest.... i'm a teacher too!

 

[highhopes2013]

Hi jack, glad u are joining us, the more the merrier! That's so exciting going to the information evening...you are about to start an amazing journey! It's such a roller coaster but totally worth it when you see that BFP at the end, all the pain and mood swings and discomfort melts away! Totally understand not wanting to get your hopes up too much, u do still have to be realistic about it...but stay positive too. I just want the next few months to hurry past so I can start the journey again!

Having said all that, I'm petrified of needles lol! My DH had to administer ALL the shots and I couldn't even look at the needles!!!

Ooo another teacher! What age do u teach? I teach primary.

 

[mrshanna]

Highhopes you definitely have a great attitude about it. I think that's the key for all of us making it through this process. Do the doctors have any idea what went wrong for you? If so, hopefully they can take measures to prevent it for your next cycle. Since you conceived the first time, I have no doubt you will do so again!!!

I've had loads of bloodwork and tests over the last couple of years. DH as well. Our insurance doesn't cover anything so we have already wracked up about $8000 in bills we are paying off. We are both healthy as could be...except my tubes.

Hi there Jack! It sounds like you are about to hit the really exciting stage! I have an appointment next week to decide an official plan. We will likely start our cycle in mid June. I'm so nervous!!!

 

[highhopes2013]

They don't do any tests until you've had 3 miscarriages! So no idea what went wrong. Baby looked beautiful on the scan I saw. Will never forget that image.

Got my review appointment today - so excited! Feels like we are finally moving forward again after the horrors of the past month. I even dreamt about it last night lol! Unfortunately we only get one cycle on the NHS so we will be paying for this next one.

 

[jack79]

Good luck with your appt today highhopes -its funny as I dreamt about my upcoming appt last night too!! It was a stressy dream that I was going to miss the appt, was glad to wake up!!

I teach primary too on hols just now. Back to school on monday...

I'm scared of needles too haha! I have to lie down when getting blood tests otherwise I faint! I just started acupuncture last week and am finding the needles very sore but feel very relaxed after...trying to decide if the stress/pain of the needles is counterbalanced by relaxation?!

What a shame you have to pay so much for all the tests you have done mrshanna. Where I live you get 2 free cycles then pay for anymore you need...

xx

 

[highhopes2013]

Yeah mine wasn't a fun dream either! What a coincidence eh?!

I go back on Monday too. Dreading it because I haven't been in since the miscarriage so it will be tough - it has been nearly a month now because of the Easter hols!

I did consider acupuncture with my first round of ivf but decided it was too many needles! Will ask the consultant about it today and see what he says about whether it helps. Know there is lots of evidence out there to suggest it does!

 

[jack79]

I had an acupuncture session today. I always close my eyes but obviously still feel the needles. It does definitely relax me, whether it does anything else who knows! Hopefully!

I'm with you on the going back to school dread! Sure it won't be as bad as we both think though! X

 

[highhopes2013]

So I had my ivf review consultation today. Amazing what £200 will buy you - the consultant was brilliant and went through our last ivf cycle in minute detail. Looks like I may be able to start second cycle in June! Just need to get two periods and then I can get going! Hoping for first period in a couple of weeks.

Feels bittersweet to be back here again, at the start of another cycle. But I'm full of hope again. I asked about acupuncture and he said they used to recommend it highly but don't push it as much anymore and it's entirely upto me if I want to spend the £. Considering I will be paying £5000 for this cycle not sure i can afford acupuncture too!

Popped into school today too so that Monday doesn't feel as difficult after a whole month away from the place!

 

[mrshanna]

I'm glad to hear your appointment went well today! It's so hard to wait to get things rolling. I told DH today this is going to be the longest few months of our lives. It sounds like we will likely be having our cycles pretty close together.

 

[jack79]

Glad your appt went well highhopes. Are you having the ivf done in the same hospital? Ive heard that private hospitals use better technology than nhs hospitals. X

 

[highhopes2013]

Yep back to the same hospital - I was very happy with them the first time and its convenient as its close to where I work. They've decided they are going to scan me daily this time as I was at risk of OHSS last time and thru are worried that might happen again.

The waiting is a killer! Hoping the next two months fly by! Glad to have u ladies for support x

 

[jack79]

I came off clomid because I over-stimulated so I have a feeling I might be the same with the ivf drugs...will just have to wait and see I guess.

You're lucky to be at a hospital close to where you work. I live and work over an hour away from where we're having treatment. Dont mind too much but would be easier being closer to home

 

[highhopes2013]

U shud ask them about OHSS then and what measures they will put in place to try and prevent that happening. My doctors are going to drop the drug dose lower and tweak it when necessary to control my follicles better.

I live an hour away from work but luckily telhe hospital is 15min away from work so it is convenient in that sense. Close to home would definitely be easier but this hospital is the closest one to me that does ivf!

I'm starting to apply for new jobs so hoping that will keep me busy in the next couple of months!

 

[mrshanna]

The clinic I am using is about an hour and a half away. Most of my appointments will be really early in the morning most likely, so When I am near the egg retrieval portion of the cycle, I may get a hotel room and stay there for a few days. I hope that will help me relax too. Can't hurt!!!

I took a huge step towards success today and STOPPED SMOKING!!! I quit a few years ago, for two whole years, when we started TTC. When I found out my tubes were blocked I became very angry and bitter and just didn't care, so I started again. Now that I am back on the path to Mommyhood, it is time to get healthy!

 

[highhopes2013]

Getting a hotel near the hospital sounds like a good plan, you don't want the additional stress of travelling too! Although to be honest egg collection really wasn't too too bad-once I came out and had a few hours rest I was ok. It was embryo transfer where I took a few days off to rest and give the embryos a chance to implant.

Hey that is fantastic that you have quit smoking again! Can't be easy but you have to do what you can to maximise your chances I guess! I'm giving up caffeine again...that's about the only vice that I have lol