you know what?

[Mynxie]

I don't think I can do this all anymore.

All my dreams are shattered, except for having a wonderful husband (who is truly wonderful!!).

Career blown up in smoke, crippled before I even hit my 20s, miscarriages and all that, all the things besides having a wonderful husband, that I really wanted in life are gone. The one dream that WE both clung onto was having a family and after more than 4 years of trying and 3 MCs, I can't even get that right.

Just solved why I'm such a shopaholic really I suppose...cause all the things that I really want, I can't have, so I buy material things for the sake of it, for the short lived buzz of getting something that I want, cause what I really want I can't have.

The sensible part of me says "give up, stop trying, you're just gonna make the hole bigger to climb out of, don't you think 4 years is enough?" and the dreamer in me thinks "maybe somehow..."

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

You aint givin up lady your not aloud to! I no how you feel wantin to give up. dont listen to your head.. listen to your heart.

ITs better to live on hope than have no hope at all

xxxxxx

 

[Mynxie]

Is it though? Not having hopes and dreams means you can't be disappointed. Synical I know but realisitic.

Everything's just aload of broken dreams.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

i wanted 2 die last year when i was told my problem.. i even told my OH to leave me so i didnt wreck his life. i wanted 2 give up.. OH wouldnt let me. he new how much i wanted a baby, how much we wanted one he refused 2 let me give up.

In your heart can you honestly say you wanna give up. I have only a small amount of hope that i will ever have a living baby and i cling to the hope very tight.. ill let go the day they tell me they cant help me anymore.

dont give up if your heart is saying go on.

 

[Mynxie]

thanks

TBH I dunno, maybe I'm just meant never to be a mother.

Sorry for my cynicalism but I really don't think I can cope with any of this anymore and feel very isolated with everything.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

you cant stop... we are loners united

hun we are always here for you.. always
xxxxx

 

[NeyNey]

Aw Mynx, I know how you feel - and to tell you to be strong and not give up would me me a hypocrit. I realise that.

Perhaps a break, hubby and I are taking a break because over the years we've just forgotten how to just be normal. Sex was no longer sex but a barrage of thermometers, special lubricant, priority positions etc etc....Gone was the spontanious animalistic fun sex we use to have.

I feel like you at times..."Am I even meant to be a mother". I think the answer lies in your determination - if you were not meant to be a mother I don't feel you would have tried as long as you have, or pushed forward through the heartache of m/c

Perhaps a break, some time to completely forget about TTC, even if i'ts only short - I think we all need that break, for phsyical and emotional reasons.

 

[latestarter]

Hi Mynxie,

I'm sorry you are going through such a rough patch.


I'm pretty sure we have all felt the same you do right now at times - I know I have. But the feeling will pass. Keep your eye on the prize. It will all be worth it.

 

[wannabmum]

Hi huni,
So sorry to hear u are feeling so low.

Please Please try not to give up hope I know how hard this journey can be but rememver we are all here for u..

xxxx

 

[ozbutterfly]

Maybe a break would be better than just giving up altogether. Give yourself some time to breathe and focus on other things.

 

[Aria]

i even told my OH to leave me so i didnt wreck his life. i wanted 2 give up.. OH wouldnt let me. he new how much i wanted a baby, how much we wanted one he refused 2 let me give up..

Are we twins? EXACT same thing happened here. I could have written this.

 

[Aria]

I think a break would do you some good. I'm not going to promise it'll make you have a baby, but you're exhausted and you and your OH need some time together to focus on each other and yourselves. Reconnect with each other. This doesn't mean you're giving up, just taking a break to rest and restore your energy to keep climbing that mountain.

*BEAR HUGS*

 

[Mynxie]

That's the thing though ladies, we've only ever made an effort to have regular sex a couple of times, - more often than not we BD every day or every other day regardless and it's only when AF is due or late (ha! that's a laugh!) that we really allow ourselves to think about it. It's too heartbreaking otherwise and medics won't touch me since tests were ok, cause of how my disability affects me (blood being taken for example can cause me to lose even more use of my arm). DH is the only dream that came true, all the rest have shattered and I think this one is slowly shattering along with the rest of them.

 

[chefamy1122]

I know there is nothing I can say that would make you feel better..just know that I am sending you big

 

[CareBear]

Just wanted to send you some big

 

[CurlySue]

I truly believe that there is a time, a time in all of our lives when we feel that enough is enough. Only we know when that time is and only we know whether we truly believe it or not; whether we want to call it a day and decide that we're going to accept things as they are. Nobody can tell you if you have reached that point yet. Nobody should deny your feelings and make you feel like you are wrong for having reached that point. All that people can do is support whatever you feel is right.

If you feel that enough is enough then go with that. Don't feel like a failure. Don't feel like you're doing anything wrong. Sometimes, we need to preserve ourselves, after all.

If you feel like you can carry on then that is great. But, if you don't? Then, you're not a failure. You just reached that place.

Good luck