Your thoughts on this 15yr girl

[WannaB]

My 15yo has to travel 30 minutes on the school bus, but thats about it when it comes to travelling without mama! As for staying with the boyfriend, no way! Even if the parents were supervising them, they still have to fall asleep sometime and cant keep an eye on them every minute! My daughter does have a couple of friends whos parents find it quite acceptable for b/f to sleep over in the same bed, they are the places I dont let her go, that totally shocks me!

 

[tasha41]

^ I agree!! Call me old fashioned but I don't see how it's appropriate for parents to allow that.

 

[WannaB]

The mind boggles! I really try my hardest to sus out what goes on in the home before I let my kids go over, you think its safe only to find out stuff later and think omg I let my kids go there! Then you get the parents saying to you oh well they need their space and a bit of freedom, they can have that when they are 18, have a job and moved out of home!

 

[tasha41]

That is exacty how my parents feel ... I kinda have to admit I agree with it! True if kids are gonna have sex they will find a way but I don't think my parents put me in danger of getting into a bad situation with sex by not allowing that sort of stuff in their home

 

[xxxjacxxx]

uhmmm nope.

My 14 year old is still a bit immature when it comes to responsibilities, no way would I let him do that. Although he does catch the bus to his dads a few miles away

 

[steffi2]

You guys think you are old fashioned? I would probably not let my daughter stay with her boyfriend not until they were married. As far as visiting goes, he should be the one to travel all that way to see her, not the other way around. Now, that's old fashioned me talking! I didn't have a boyfriend until I was in college, and my parents were strict but I respected that and he did too.

 

[lozzy21]

Am i the only one who thinks this is acceptable? I traveled down from north east england to south wales to see my dad from the age of 13 with a change at manchester. I was alowed boyfriends to stay over when i was 15 when my brothers and sister were at there dads.

 

[taperjeangirl]

I allowed Gemma (14) to travel on a direct train from here to my Mums, its about 3 hours but direct and there was always someone to meet her.

In regard to the boyfriend thing NO WAY!!!!! Not till she was 16!

 

[suzib76]

Am i the only one who thinks this is acceptable? I traveled down from north east england to south wales to see my dad from the age of 13 with a change at manchester. I was alowed boyfriends to stay over when i was 15 when my brothers and sister were at there dads.

no- i posted earlier on in this thread something similar

 

[ladyjayne]

Im in two minds, the train jorney isnt that bad, at 15 she's gonna be sensible enough to do something if she gets uncomfortable with a situation. And as far as it goes to staying over with the bf, my bf stayed over in a different room at that age ( i was 15 he was 19) and because i had my parents trust i didnt do anything. I didnt want them to take away what they had allowed me. I was never allowed at his though and we didnt share a bed till i was 18.
I think that if the parents give a bit, then you'll get a bit a respect and understanding back.

 

[besterd]

No way! A 15 year old is most definitely to young to travel all alone and go stay at her boyfriends house! I wouldn't allow this at all!

 

[MommyToMany]

My two eldest daughters 17 and 14.

I just about allow my 17 year old to spend the night at her boyfriends house and he lives 10 minutes away! No way would I let my 14 year old spend the night at a boys house let alone let her travel such a distance to get there.

 

[joeyjo]

She's 15, in November she'll be 16 and could leave home if she wished I think the train journey is completely acceptable.
I was very independent & had a lot of freedom and a lot of trust with my parrents - the main rule I had was that I had to be completely honest about my plans and where I would be - the one time I wasn't the consequences were very severe and kept to - it took months to regain their trust.
I went on a coach trip from Manchester to London with a friend when I was 15, we stayed overnight in the youth hostel just off Oxford Street did Shopping, visited carnaby street and Madame Tussauds etc and went back the next evening. We also used to take overnight camping trips in the peak district from the age of about 14. I had my first overseas holiday with friends when I was 16 (we went to Ireland).
As for staying over at boyfriends I was allowed from 16 but I never asked before then. We were in a stable relationship and had been together over a year by the time we stayed over together. We also went on holiday to the Lakes when I was 16.

 

[SteffyRae]

if the child is trust worthy staying over for a night is not such a big this but to let someone that age (more so a girl) travel alone is dangerous

 

[hopeandpray]

i live in the countryside so at 15 i certainly took long train journeys up to the city to see friends who lived there. it depends how mature the person is i guess. by 17 i was living on my own so in comparison to that a train journey doesn't seem like a big deal. at 16 i was travelling 100+ miles by train to see my bf every few weeks, my parents thought i was staying with friends, sometimes i did, sometimes i stayed with him. but not in his bed, i'm 19 now and he's almost 20 and when i stay at his he's downstairs on the couch lol the travel issue isnt an issue as far as i'm concerned but then again i knew alot of ppl in that city so had support in case i needed anyone. parents that allow their teens to sleep with their bfs/gfs are sending out a bad bad message

 

[June_Sprite74]

Under no circumstances would I allow my daughter to spend the night anywhere with a boyfriend at 15. As for the train travel, I would allow that. My 13 year old travels on the bus to town 15 miles away, changes in Newcastle and gets the train to Metro Centre. Sometimes I'll pick her up after if it's dark, but when it's light or during the day, she has free reign. Kids need that type of freedom, providing they are sensible and not with daft friends. My daughter is very sensible and with me allowing her to have freedom she understands that when I say no to something I'm not just saying it for the hell of it, it means I really don't agree with it.

 

[PreggyEggy]

Learning to be independent on public transport is a good thing. I was doing things like that at that age, and I couldn't imagine mothering a 15 year old so much as to tell them they couldn't use a train! I think the key would be to know exactly where they are going, and when, so you can use your judgment on whether it's safe (like, do they need picking up if the train arrives and it's dark). I agree, June_Spire, if all they know is what they can't do, you're going to have a problem. A certain degree of freedom will encourage independence and confidence later on in life...Mummy can't be there to hold your hand all the time.

Going to stay over a boyfriend's house though? I wouldn't let that happen. Far too young to be put in that situation. I didn't get up to much at that age, but my husband's told me all the stories about what he used to get up to with his girlfriends, and how he got around his parents! lol

 

[Boothh]

i dont know really i think it depends on the individual, i was quite a tear away when i was 15 and would disapear fordays going to various friends around the country, and i always knew what i was doing and was sensible enough to avoid trouble and act accordingly in compromising situations, then again i doubt id let my daughter do that, but my mum didnt really have much choice, poor woman! x

 

[Christine1993]

when i was 15 (which was only 2 years ago ) lol i would have never been allowed to travel by train NOR stay at a boys house. did her parents know she was travelling to see her boyfriend? if i ever did want to stay at boys house i'd always say i was 'staying with a mate' xxx

 

[Jen1972]

That's amazing. Today's kids are lost. Too bad they think they know better than us.