10 dpo, faint lines at 8 and 9dpo now negative again

[Laurabub84]

Hi Ladies. (sorry in advance for this long winded post) Today I'm 5dpo. I have very irregular cycles. I ovulated on cycle 54 back in March and got my bfp at 9dpo. I was obviously over the moon but my tests never got darker and af came a week later, I was devastated and assumed it happened because I was so late into a cycle. The next cycle was then 117 days long with nothing. Then I had two af almost one after another, but ff hasn't registered the second as a separate cycle. Counting myself I ovulated on cycle 22. When my cycles weren't too bad, between days 18 and 25 were normal for me to ovulate. So I'm now 5dpo and already so impatient to know if this is it. I almost don't want to post on here for fear of jinxing things but I need people to go through this with because I'm driving myself crazy already. My partner gets annoyed that I obsess every second of the day so I don't like to talk to him about it. I'm trying so hard to keep busy and pass the time. My brothers beautiful baby boy was born on Tuesday so my broodiness is through the roof now. I can't bare the thought that it won't happen this month because with how my body is lately I'm terrified of another 5 months passing before I'm here again. I'm also concerned that my temps aren't high enough. I've attached my chart. I have an appointment with a gynecologist end of November but I'm praying I won't need it. It would just be lovely if I had some ladies at the same stage as me so I don't feel I'm going it alone. With my previous pregnancy and the chemical I got my bfp at 9dpo so will be testing then. Although who am i kidding, I know come Saturday i'll start just to satisfy the urge

 

[josephine3]

Hi can I join in with you? Im not sure of my exact ov day but I am around 5dpo too! Im not ttc but only use withdrawal and am having all kinds of symptoms already. Im so impatient to know!

 

[Bevziibubble]

Good luck

 

[Laurabub84]

Hi Josephine, thanks for joining me. 6dpo today. Leading up from ovulation I've had lower cramps and increased cm. Sure its too early for symptoms tho. What symptoms do you have? I caved and took a test today even though I know it's way too soon don't know why, lol. But I know now I've started I'll end up doing another tomorrow but I have a big stash of ic so what the hell. Will you be testing at all or will you wait for af?

 

[Laurabub84]

Good luck

Thank you hun

 

[Laurabub84]

7dpo today. No symptoms. Cramps have all but gone. Last night I had 2 or 3 moments where I had a sharp stabbing pain in my right side. Got hungry about 10pm last night even though I'd had dinner which was unusual and strangely fancied some little silverskinned pickled onions which I've not eaten in years. Very random. Woke up still feeling quite hungry. I'm not feeling too hopeful today for two reasons. 1 because my cp yesterday was medium, soft and closed whereas in both my pregnant and chemical chart it was high, soft and closed at this point, and 2 because in my pregnant chart I had an implantation dip at 7dpo but today its the same as yesterday. I didn't get a dip in my chemical chart because I assume it didn't implant. Tested this morning and of course bfn. Which I expected being so early. I've never had a bfp before 9dpo but it just satisfys the wait to test then. Here's what my chart looks like today. Not sure if all a person's pregnancy charts would looks the same or not. This is definetly different to my pregnant one.

 

[Bevziibubble]

It's still early yet. Fingers crossed for you

 

[Laurabub84]

8dpo, tested again and bfn, again I know too early. Dreading tomorrow as I seem to get my bfps at 9dpo so if its negative I know I'm gonna feel out. Doesn't help that I've been waiting for implantation dip and it hasn't happened like it did with my last pregnancy chart. Cp feels medium/low, medium and closed. Cm between creamy and a little Stretchy. Not feeling very hopeful today. My chart at 8dpo

 

[Bevziibubble]

 

[Laurabub84]

10dpo, feeling really bummed out and emotional today. I took 4 tests at 8dpo in the evening and got faint lines. Got so excited obviously but also nervous because of previous chemical. Test next morning at 9dpo were still about the same. First response rapid result had barely there line. Could only just make it out. I stayed away from the tests until yesterday night and they were pretty much negative and this morning at 10dpo nothing. I'm so upset. Now I feel 100% out and don't know now whether I've just had my second chemical. Plus my temps have gone down from 8dpo. Because of my irregular cycles I now don't know when I'll have this chance to try again. I could maybe accept it and get ready for next cycle if I knew it was gonna happen, but the thought of now going another 5 months with nothing is unbareable and there's literally nothing I can do about it. I think this will be the last I'll post online once af gets me. Although it helps to write it out for myself I almost feel like I jinx it all.
My chart today, 10dpo

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm sorry you're feeling down
I've got everything crossed for you.

 

[Laurabub84]

I'm sorry you're feeling down
I've got everything crossed for you.

Thank you hun x

 

[Laurabub84]

I couldn't help myself and took another two tests and within about a minute I have faint lines again. Now I'm so confused and excited and scared. As always the picture never pick them up as well but I'll put it on anyway. Also played with it abit. I don't know what to think because this morning they were negative again.

 

[LoveIsAllINo]

Hi. Poor thing. I feel so bad for you. The stress is so much worse with an irregular cycle because you don't know when you will have another shot. If you don't mind, were you diagnosed with PCOS? I was and I am finally turning things around for the best!!! I ovulated twice in 90 days!!! This is coming from a woman that ovulated once a year.

 

[Bevziibubble]

How confusing. I hope that you get some answers soon

 

[Laurabub84]

Hi. Poor thing. I feel so bad for you. The stress is so much worse with an irregular cycle because you don't know when you will have another shot. If you don't mind, were you diagnosed with PCOS? I was and I am finally turning things around for the best!!! I ovulated twice in 90 days!!! This is coming from a woman that ovulated once a year.

Oh hun I completely understand, when I conceived my daughter it took me 18 months and I hadn't ovulated once in all that time. Was getting periods every 80-100 days but they were all annovulatory cycles and still have the charts to look back on. It was horrendous. I couldn't believe it when I got my bfp, just cried and cried. I'd taken agnus castus in the end as I kept reading about and I'm convienced that's what helped me. I wanted to use it again this time but they've stopped selling the brand I used and the ones I did try did nothing so I've given up with them. My doctor sent me for an ultrasound and the sonographer told me that my right ovary looked more polycystic then my left. So she used the word polysistic. But she said I'd need bloods taken to confirm it, to which the doctor said bloods can't tell them anything because hormones change all the time and it was left at that so I honestly don't know. I have an appointment booked at the end of November to see a gynecologist. I'm just praying I wake tomorrow to a darker line. If not its looking like another chemical.

 

[LoveIsAllINo]

Oh hun I completely understand, when I conceived my daughter it took me 18 months and I hadn't ovulated once in all that time. Was getting periods every 80-100 days but they were all annovulatory cycles and still have the charts to look back on. It was horrendous. I couldn't believe it when I got my bfp, just cried and cried. I'd taken agnus castus in the end as I kept reading about and I'm convienced that's what helped me. I wanted to use it again this time but they've stopped selling the brand I used and the ones I did try did nothing so I've given up with them. My doctor sent me for an ultrasound and the sonographer told me that my right ovary looked more polycystic then my left. So she used the word polysistic. But she said I'd need bloods taken to confirm it, to which the doctor said bloods can't tell them anything because hormones change all the time and it was left at that so I honestly don't know. I have an appointment booked at the end of November to see a gynecologist. I'm just praying I wake tomorrow to a darker line. If not its looking like another chemical.

Doctors got on my LAST nerve through this process. I tried Vitex as well as other herbs and supplements. I am a "thin" PCOS'er and now I workout 5 days a week, no herbs, no drugs, no diet change nothing. I gained 20 pounds on purpose and that helped my cycle and I ovulated more but then stopped . Within 1 month of lifting weights my entire hormonal system began to change. I suspect you aren't active??? Or just doing cardio? I highly suggest immediately learning about lifting weights for fertility and joining a gym. You may have to start small and that is fine. It is magical. And if you are overweight lifting weights burns way more fat than cardio and you are building muscle too so you won't be saggy. Please consider it! My boyfriend tried for years to get me to workout and as soon as I got serious things changed!

 

[Laurabub84]

Doctors got on my LAST nerve through this process. I tried Vitex as well as other herbs and supplements. I am a "thin" PCOS'er and now I workout 5 days a week, no herbs, no drugs, no diet change nothing. I gained 20 pounds on purpose and that helped my cycle and I ovulated more but then stopped . Within 1 month of lifting weights my entire hormonal system began to change. I suspect you aren't active??? Or just doing cardio? I highly suggest immediately learning about lifting weights for fertility and joining a gym. You may have to start small and that is fine. It is magical. And if you are overweight lifting weights burns way more fat than cardio and you are building muscle too so you won't be saggy. Please consider it! My boyfriend tried for years to get me to workout and as soon as I got serious things changed!

Thank you love, I will take that on board. I'll try anything. My tests were negative again this morning so its either another chemical or I just had a few days of weird tests. Although they were different brands and all with very faint lines. Definetly not evaps as they were there within a minute. A small part of me still hopes to get my bfp as I'm not due af until Saturday (I'm 11dpo today). I'm feeling so defeated. Absolutely devastated this is happening again.
I forgot to mention also that when i had my scan she mentioned adenomyosis. I'd never heard of it before and she said it was very mild and didn't think it would cause any problems, but after googling it it does say that it can cause problems with implantation. Feeling how I do today I'm now thinking the worse. That this is the cause and its just going to keep on happening and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just so tired of it all now. Want it so much.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm so sorry

 

[LoveIsAllINo]

Thank you love, I will take that on board. I'll try anything. My tests were negative again this morning so its either another chemical or I just had a few days of weird tests. Although they were different brands and all with very faint lines. Definetly not evaps as they were there within a minute. A small part of me still hopes to get my bfp as I'm not due af until Saturday (I'm 11dpo today). I'm feeling so defeated. Absolutely devastated this is happening again.
I forgot to mention also that when i had my scan she mentioned adenomyosis. I'd never heard of it before and she said it was very mild and didn't think it would cause any problems, but after googling it it does say that it can cause problems with implantation. Feeling how I do today I'm now thinking the worse. That this is the cause and its just going to keep on happening and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just so tired of it all now. Want it so much.

The cheap test can drive one up the wall. Don't even bother inverting them, ever, or trying hard to see a line. When it is a definite line you will know without a doubt I am speaking from experience. I am 11dpo and I haven't even tested, can't wait until this 2ww is over. I don't even think I will temp next month, too much to deal with.

Just work on getting your body as healthy and strong as possible physically which will improve the overall condition of your uterus, ovaries, and egg quality.