12 months old and waking at night

[Natalie&Karl]

We have a dilemma, Mia still isn't sleeping through completely.

She goes to bed usually around 8pm, wakes at 1am and then again at about 4 or 5am.

We have a one bedroom flat so she is in with us, and when she cries we usually just give her her bottle until she drops back, doesnt take 5 minutes but it's still a pain.

The reason we do attend to her immediately is because we work and dont really have the option to leave her to cry it out and go back to sleep naturally.

WHat would you do?

My plan is perhaps, this weekend (when we have no work) is to leave her cry when she wakes up (I actually hate doing it but feel its the only way!!). Not even sure if i'll be able to but do you think thats the right way to go about it?

 

[Ragirl]

I was exactly in your shoes when my son was 1- he was still waking up once in the middle of the night. Is the bottle you give her juice/milk? I was told that if they are getting calories at a certain time at night then their bodies will naturally wake them to eat (even just for 5 minutes) because that is what the biological clock is programmed to do. So the first thing we did was switch from feeding him at 1 to giving him just water. Like you, I could not do the hard core cry it out (we tried one night and he became hysterical and started puking everywhere and I felt like the worst mother ever). We modified it. Somewhere around 10 months we tried it for the first time and we saw no progress at all after 4 days so we gave up and tried again when he was one. You can expect the first night to be hard, the second harder (as they try to insist on their way), the third can go either way, but then you should start seeing improvement. If you don't, you have to decide if it's worth it to keep trying or give it up and revisit the issue in a month or so. So our modified CIO was this (he always slept in his own bed): He would wake up crying around 1-ish and we would go in rub his back, give him his passy, tell him it's time to sleep, soothe him for a few minutes, and then walk out of the room. Let him cry for 10 mintues. Go back in and rub his back, give him his passy, tell him it's time to sleep, and walk out. And we just kept doing this until he finally cried himself to sleep (the first night I think it took an hour, the second was close to 1 1/2 hours, and then started improving). My thing with CIO is that at one year, they can physically handle crying for an hour (unlike a baby). But emotionally, not as much- they will reach a point in crying where, if they have not seen you at all and are used to you responding, they will become hysterical and make themselves sick. So with this modified CIO, we were still responding by coming in and soothing him (BTW, we would not pick him up at all during this- we soothed just by patting his back) and he could see we were still there, but he wasn't getting what he wanted either. We have continued to use this method during little bumps in the road since. It has worked like a charm for us and doesn't make me feel so guilty. Good luck!

 

[Natalie&Karl]

Yes, we have been giving her milk! She's definitely craving it more as a comfort thin gthan a food thing! She eats really well and doesnt even need the milk, i can tell as she gets so bloated and can barely drink it! But when i try to give her a dummy instead she throws it out of her mouth.

She always tries to climb her cot into my arms for me to pick her up too.

So what do you do at night when your little one wakes up? Just pat them on the back and settle them?

I'm definitely going to try it - starting with tonight when i put her in her cot.

Thanks very much. (its going to be a loooong night lol).

 

[Munchkin]

A suggestion for you (crying it out is definitely NOT it and would be horrendous at her age and can also make her fearful of her cot):

Over a couple of nights, you need to break the pattern of waking up at 1.00 am So, for a period of 3 nights, you wake up yourself at 12.30 and gently sshh and pat her back for a while say from 12.45am - until she goes from one sleep cycle to the next without waking. You will see her murmur and her eyeballs move below the eye lids and then stop. Once they have stopped, she should be in the next sleep cycle.

She might then start waking at a later time. Repeat the process if you have to for the later time, until you have her sleeping through the night.

It takes a few days, but it works.

 

[Ragirl]

Yes, we have been giving her milk! She's definitely craving it more as a comfort thin gthan a food thing! She eats really well and doesnt even need the milk, i can tell as she gets so bloated and can barely drink it! But when i try to give her a dummy instead she throws it out of her mouth.

She always tries to climb her cot into my arms for me to pick her up too.

So what do you do at night when your little one wakes up? Just pat them on the back and settle them?

I'm definitely going to try it - starting with tonight when i put her in her cot.

Thanks very much. (its going to be a loooong night lol).

I know you are eager, but since she is getting milk at 1am, I think the first thing you need to do is eliminate that- like I said, my son was just as happy when we switched it to water, so give it a try (esp. if she's doing it for comfort- she may not care what's in the bottle). Even if it's just for comfort, her body is still used to gettting some kind of nutrients at 1am and therefore her hunger signals will wake her up around 1 without that bottle. I'm afraid you may have more of an uphill battle if she is waking up at 1 am expecting food AND attention/comfort. If you eliminate the milk first and still soothe her any way you can (holding her, rocking her etc) you retrain her body not to expect food. THEN, if eliminating the bottle doesn't cure the problem, you can tackle the habit/sleep routine of waking up at 1 a little more easily because her body won't also be expecting food. I hope I am making sense- it makes sense in my head but I don't know if I am explaining it right. Also, if you do away with the bottle and she just doesn't settle, after a certain amount of time, you can go ahead with the bottle. So for example, if she is still fussing at 1:30- give her the bottle then. Over time you just keep extending the time until she gets the bottle until it is eliminated.

We just pat my son's back until he settles, we do not pick him up. Like I said, the first night it took an hour for him to cry himself to sleep. BUT, he wasn't crying that whole time. We went in and patted and soothed until he stopped crying and "appeared" to be asleep...though usually as soon as we walked out he was wailing again. We gave it 10 mintues and then went back to soothe him. I have to say- it took some time, but he is now a GREAT sleeper. He goes to bed at 6pm and doesn't wake until 5:30am. I really believe the key was the modified CIO- once we got through those rough couple of nights, he learned that the bed is for sleeping. That if I wake up, mom and dad will come and soothe me, but they aren't going to pick me up and play...so I might just as well go back to sleep. He also learned that crying harder/longer still doesn't get him what he wants (to get out of bed). Now, when we have had a rough patch, say for example we were traveling and he got to sleep with us for a few nights, he might try that first night at home to come to bed with us again. We go right back to the modified CIO and in one night he's back into his routine. I'm sending good sleepy baby dust your way!!!

 

[Tezzy]

Rhys still wakes at night.. i guess some kids just do

 

[Natalie&Karl]

Thanks ragirl - i understand you completely.

usually it can be difficult to even get her down for the night as she always wants me looking over her otherwise she tries to climb up again. But she was exhausted today, i put her in her bed with her night bottle kissed her goodnight and walked out after about 10 seconds, she got up and started crying. I went in, lay her down and gave her her bottle and walked straight out, she got up again but i left her (thinking i'd give it 5 minutes) and then....SILENCE.... she was asleep after about 3 minutes! lol.

 

[lorrilou]

nicole was still waking through the night up until she started school!!!!

 

[Tilly]

Maybe shes a bit thirsty? Bethanie is great at settling herself, but sometimes wakes in the night still. We give her a drink, give her a cuddle if she stands up (without taking her out of the cot though), lay her back down and say that it's sleep time now. Then we go back to bed.

May be hard at first, but try to be firm and im sure she'll get the message. Hope that helps.

 

[Natalie&Karl]

Progress has been made....!

She has her new cot, so was a good time to lay down some new laws - so to speak lol.

We put her in bed at 7pm with her bedtime bottle and she usually just drops off!! She started crying for less than 2 minutes, yells a bit of verbal baby language at us over the monitor and then...silence! lol

She went down at 6.30pm last night (as she was truly shattered after a wakeful nigth at her Auntys) and didnt wake up until about 1.00pm - i just patted her back and layed her down and she drifted off. She woke again at about 3am and i lay her down and held her hand, and she went back. Finally woke up at about 5/6 and gave her some milk and she went back again.

So seems she's definitely progressing! x

 

[o0oCharlieo0o]

hope you find a way that works for you to help her sleep through, i cant say anything because brendan is nearly two and still wakes in the middle of the night for a bottle of milk, i try and try to not give him it, or give him water or juice but he goes mad! hopefully he will stop soon lol