15DPO - I'm back! And I have good news!

[Lisa40]

I do understand what you are saying girls, and yes a smear is horrible, I've had to have all manner of colposcopys and things over the years, but all you have to do is lay there while they get on with it.
If I was there and they asked me to bring myself to orgasm, even if they went out of the room, I don't think I could do it on command easily as it's a mental state you have to be in, in order to do it. My brain would be worried and it wouldn't let me enjoy myself if you know what I mean.
I'm sure he'll get it done, all I'm saying is his brain might need a small amount of time to prepare.
Good luck both katie and Mal
xxx

 

[Rachael1981]

 

[firstbaby25]

Oh Lover, do you just wanna go get someone else's sperm seeing as you are doing it for you anyway and not Mal - just go and toss someone off and take that in. Sure Mal won't mind. OJ, chin up - you'll get there. Did you go on date night?

 

[Lisa40]

Hey Katie,
I wrote that reply before seeing yours. I'm so sorry hun, I'm sure he will come round soon.

xxx

 

[firstbaby25]

I'm wondering here if you can pretend that everything is alright and dtd and stuff and collect it! Then it's done but that requires you not being mad at him... If I ever have to do it I am going to keep it secret from him, they just can't seem to handle the truth...

Lisa - I get what your saying too but I don't think comparing men and women gets us anywhere. Mal should be able to do it, as a teenager he probably dtd to himself when his mum was downstairs (I know tmi for Katie) but sex & orgasm is also different for men and women! I get the pressure he's under but I don't think that it's anything remotely like asking a woman to do it because our argasms are for fun - they would need tissue or fluid that we just have... I just think it is what it is Mal has every right to feel pressured but Katie has every right to be annoyed too! It's a double edged sword!

 

[Lisa40]

Yeah she definitely has every right to be annoyed, it's just a shitty situation for both of them & I hope everything work out ok soon
xxx

 

[kates84]

The news for the the day...I've stopped taking everything. Even my temperature. I'll still take the Pregnacare Conception, but I've knocked everything else on the head.

Things are still very hard at home - I can't even speak to him

Can you go to your own GP and ask for things like blood tests or a scan to rule out some of the things that may be worrying you? I've had them done and we're not even at the stage of fertility investigations but they've managed to rule out PCOS, Endeomotrosis (can't remember how to spell that) premature ovarian failure and diagnose me with an overactive thyroid which they say could be what is causing my problems.

 

[firstbaby25]

It is harsh isn't it? I think she went and they said that they do not treat fertility problems or deal with it so she has to go through a specialist who wants to see Mal's swimmers first... It seems odd like - you just want a period, it's hardly even related to fertility!

 

[kates84]

It is harsh isn't it? I think she went and they said that they do not treat fertility problems or deal with it so she has to go through a specialist who wants to see Mal's swimmers first... It seems odd like - you just want a period, it's hardly even related to fertility!

Excuse my rage but they are absolutely full of the brown stuff.

Katie, change GP's. You are having irregular cycles and they 100% CAN treat this without a fertility specialist.

They can do bloods and an ultrasound to rule out all that I said above and if they do find you have any of those they can treat them.

Within a month of me having crazy cycles my doctor ordered bloods and an ultrasound and he is treating me for my problems without even considering a FS. Yes, if they can't find what the problem is a FS would be great but they can and should start investigations for you if only to give you peace of mind.

 

[firstbaby25]

It is harsh isn't it? I think she went and they said that they do not treat fertility problems or deal with it so she has to go through a specialist who wants to see Mal's swimmers first... It seems odd like - you just want a period, it's hardly even related to fertility!

Excuse my rage but they are absolutely full of the brown stuff.

Katie, change GP's. You are having irregular cycles and they 100% CAN treat this without a fertility specialist.

They can do bloods and an ultrasound to rule out all that I said above and if they do find you have any of those they can treat them.

Within a month of me having crazy cycles my doctor ordered bloods and an ultrasound and he is treating me for my problems without even considering a FS. Yes, if they can't find what the problem is a FS would be great but they can and should start investigations for you if only to give you peace of mind.

You could always go back and say no they can't deny you treatment based on him can they? Surely... I'd just be like, look he doesn't think we need it and he has every right to although it's 3 months that you've been trying it's still only 2 cycles - am I right? Try and tell the docs that they are wasting their money because you just want a period and the chance to try. Blah. Meh.

 

[kates84]

If they insist on referring you to anybody it should be a gyneocologist - and thankfully with one of those you wont need your other halfs co-operation.

Irregular cycles are a health issue not just a fertility issue. They need to find out the cause before they refer you.

For example, if your irregular cycles are caused by a thyroid disorder (like mine), you need an endocrinologist, a fertility specialist would not touch that one.

If you had PCOS, your doc should treat that or a gynecologist.

They are doing it all wrong

They should find the cause, start to treat it, and if no joy THEN a fertility specialist gets involved.

 

[Rachael1981]

If they insist on referring you to anybody it should be a gyneocologist - and thankfully with one of those you wont need your other halfs co-operation.

Irregular cycles are a health issue not just a fertility issue. They need to find out the cause before they refer you.

For example, if your irregular cycles are caused by a thyroid disorder (like mine), you need an endocrinologist, a fertility specialist would not touch that one.

If you had PCOS, your doc should treat that or a gynecologist.

They are doing it all wrong

They should find the cause, start to treat it, and if no joy THEN a fertility specialist gets involved.

I did wonder when Katie said she was being referred to a FS and Mal had to give a sample, but not knowing anything about these things I wasn't sure.

Katie - perhaps you should go back to the doctor, and explain again that you're not there because you're not pregnant yet, but you're there because your cycle is screwed and see if they'll refer you to a gynecologist or for some other tests instead.

 

[3boys]

im so sorry hun, that you have to go through this, i think its ridiculous that the doc wont sort out your cycle issues without Mal's sample. I hope you get it sorted soon! x x

 

[struth]

The news for the the day...I've stopped taking everything. Even my temperature. I'll still take the Pregnacare Conception, but I've knocked everything else on the head.

Things are still very hard at home - I can't even speak to him

Sorry to hear that things are bad at the moment.

You never know - it might even be the best thing to stop everything at the moment. Perhaps the stress of monitoring/recording etc etc is contributing - who knows. FX'd that all gets sorted soon x

 

[Sideways 8]

Katie, I'm with all the other ladies. Find another GP or a gynecologist. Or anything that doesn't require Mal to provide a semen sample, like explaining to the FS that he just won't cooperate.

As an aside, Mal needs to man up and get over it. He needs to put on his big boy panties and deal with it, no "boohoo I'm under pressure" or "boohoo I don't wanna".

TTC is supposed to bring couples closer together, not rip them apart.

 

[bebedee]

Katie - just stumbled across this thread, hope you don't mind me reading. Didn't want to read and run!

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in atm. Men tend to get wrapped up in their own world and can't see past their own fear/convenience/problems. I hope things get sorted out for you soon.

B x

 

[katiekittykat]

Thanks girls

Well, being as sick as I am about having no control over this TTC business, I've decided to take control over the other part of my life which makes me desperately unhappy.....

I've handed in my notice at work and I've got an interview for a job at the airport next week!

 

[Rachael1981]

Good Luck Katie! xxx

 

[Sideways 8]

oh my goodness Katie!! Good for you. Time to start fresh, eh? Which airport?

 

[hope4bump]

Keeping my fx for your interview x