16 week midwife appointment: heartbeat!!?!

[sequeena]

ha i bet your so glad u invested in a doppler now, why cant they find it u did ??? do they know what they are doing???

At 16 weeks babies are still so small that they can hide easily as they dont like the noise of the doppler. At 25 weeks my son still swims about until he just gives up and stays in one place. Its not that midwives dont have a clue they sometimes just dont have the time to spend a long time searching for your baby. Its probably part of the reason why they dont often check at 16 weeks anymore along with not wanting to worry the mother. I would rather her not bother at all than have her try, not find it then panic something is wrong. After all they are professionals at what they do.

 

[hope4bump]

Well, I didn't ask the midwife to listen for a heartbeat, she asked if they could as they had the student there. So really, I didn't take up her time, it's more the other way around. I never said any midwife was useless, so no need for anybody to be so defensive. If they only tried what I suggested it wouldn't have taken them half as long as it did in the end AND they would have had a result...I don't have a problem with midwives in general and I am sure neither does any of the ladies who commented on their experiences, but just as people are allowed to blow off steam about morning sickness; partners; mil's etc, we should be allowed to mention if we had a not so good experience with a midwife. Why put that in a different category? They may be the professionals, and they may have the academic advantage and experience, but we as women/mothers have the real life experience, that is not always as the book says it is...anyway, my intention wasn't to cause world war 3 but everybody who commented about their experiences had the right to do so...

 

[mrs_lukey]

I was only 13 weeks on Monday when I had a consultant appt at the hospital. He didn't listen for the heartbeat but he did feel my belly and said that the top of my womb has already reached 4cm below my belly button!!

I thought that was high as people keep saying it reaches your belly button at 20 weeks and I was told that it reached the belly button BY 20 weeks and that every woman is different - some will find their womb rises out of the pelvis early and others the baby will stay tucked up for a while.

I don't agree with people on here telling others that they are wrong - everyone has their own opinions and the fact is that sometimes women know their bodies very well and will know where to find the baby better than a medical professional!!

Happy thoughts ladies!!

 

[milf2be]

Midwifes and sonographers can be wrong, in my experience. At my 20 week scan she said 'placenta is low, oh hang on no, it's high' and then the next thing was 'baby is breach, oh no, it's transverse'. How many mistakes can one woman make?! She was supposedly an 'advanced practitioner', so what does that tell you? She then referred me to Kings College because of a 'borderline measurement' in the baby's brain. Well, by the afternoon Kings told me the measurement was completely normal and they said straight away that the baby was transverse and the placenta high. I was so traumatised by this. I know the equipment at the Fetal Medicine Centre is much better, but getting the position of the placenta and baby is quite basic.

So, yes, they can get things wrong even with lots of experience. After all, they are only human. But they have to realise how this can have such an awful effect on the mum-to-be and maybe they should keep their mouths shut and listen more in future. We are all individuals and do know something about our own bodies, after all. I know this sounds harsh but to them it may be a conveyor belt of mums coming through but to us it is the most important time of our life. They could do well to remember that. Some of the professionals are amazing (the people at Kings were absolutely excellent) but others need additional training both technically and with their 'bed-side manner'. I am now dreading giving birth in my local hospital.

So, yes, ignore the 'professional' telling you the baby is hiding in your pubic bone. My baby's heartbeat was found by my midwife where you found yours (below the belly button and slightly to the left).

i said myself that midwives arent always right and as you said we are only human and make mistakes, but im not sure what you are expecting us to do. keep our mouths shut, just in case we do make a mistake? we wouldnt get very far!!

there are some midwives who might be lacking a bit of tact and unfortuently some that practice bad midwifery practice.

however, im spending a lot of money and working VERY hard to get my midwifery degree and i dont like myself or my co workers tarnished with the same brush as one bad midwife, or made to feel like we dont know anything.
you wouldnt insult other people on here like that (i hope so anyway) so please dont insult me and maybe try and show some understanding for what it is like the other side.

btw, im not just aiming this at the person who i quoted, so please dont feel like im having a big rant at you!!!

If you are not having a rant at me, then don't use my quote. I am not wrong to share my experiences as this is a forum and I am entitled to do so. I do think that you should not say the baby is lying breach and placenta is low until you are sure. Rushing the scan and constantly changing your mind IS unprofessional and if I was to do this in my profession I would expect criticism. I don't mind people making mistakes, just asking them to think before they speak and make sure they are accurate first. I don't think this is an unrealistic expectation. I NEVER said don't speak I just said they should think more.

Also, if you read my post correctly you will realise that I was actually saying that many in the profession are excellent but like in all professions there will be people who are not and we need to be wary of these individuals. Hopefully you will be one of the professional ones. I do think that sometimes listening is a skill that some are not practicising.

Please do not posts so personally as my comments were my experiences and opinion.

i wasnt posting personally at all, i actually said at the end i WASNT aiming it at you :s i only did that so i could answer you and then say what else i wanted instead of quoting you, then posting another one to address other comments. but i better do that this time hadnt i?

 

[milf2be]

They don't sound like they have much of a clue! When pregnant with DS a midwife said he was transverse (had been for some weeks), I had to see a consultant immediately afterwards because of this and he thought baby was head down, he did a scan and yes DS was head down. So midwives aren't always right - as in any profession.
I had my 16 week appointment yesterday and the midwife got bub's heartbeat straight away. I have felt strong kicks about belly button level but with second babies there's more room for them to move about. At least you heard it yourself, you don't like telling professionals what to do but sometimes it's best to speak up, this time round when it comes to the birth and pain relief etc I will be more assertive about my wishes.

baby can be transverse and cephalic (head down). its not the easiest skill to do and no midwives are right all the time.

please do make sure you get your wishes this time!! have u made a birth plan so the midwife can see what you want when you might not be up for talking?

Not sure if I'll bother with a birth plan this time, as last time it wasn't referred to at all by the midwives looking after me. Out of the six different midwives who dealt with me during my labour, three were attentive and listened and quite honestly the others gave the impression that they didn't want to be bothered and were condescending. I was examined on arrival, told I was only 3cm dilated and not in active labour. I was given sleeping tablets and told to get some rest, even though on the way to hospital my contractions were 2 mins apart. An hour after taking the sleeping tablets I was in agony, I was examined and told I was 7cm. That's a lot of dilation in one hour! When I later said I thought I wanted stronger pain relief than gas and air I was told I probably didn't need it. I was told to push when I felt like it and DH and I were left alone, he told me it was often for an hour at a time, but they marked on my notes they checked me every 15 mins. So I ended up pushing for 4 hours and DS was born after I was put on a drip to speed things up. Don't get me wrong, I know there are good and less good workers in every profession, maybe I was just unlucky in my experiences, and they could've been worse. One midwife in particular was super and really helped me keep going, the others could learn a lot from her. I don't think you should take our views personally, we are simply sharing our experiences which unfortunately are both bad as well as good.

im sorry you had such a bad experience hopefully things have changed since you had your DS and they will pay attention to your birth plan more if you decide to write one. make sure whoever you have with you knows what you want so they can stand up for you too!!! good luck x

 

[milf2be]

its the way people are phrasing things that i am finding insulting, feel free to have a rant about your midwife if you feel she hasnt given you the best care, but saying "they have no idea what they are doing" or "idiots" addresses midwives in general, not just the midwife and i do feel really insulted by it.

also try and think about the other side and why we might be doing that? normally we do things for a reason and not just because we're being nasty or bad midwives or whatever.

 

[ChocolateKate]

I love this forum and love being able to read about everyone's experiences, good and bad. I have personally decided not to buy a Doppler for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I don't have a clue what to do and would freak out if I couldn't find the heartbeat and secondly, I completely trust my midwife who has located little one with ease which was also the case for checking during my scans. Personally, i am happy to leave this in the hands of the professionals and very much appreciate their expertise. I completely understand why others choose otherwise and that you should be able to do whatever makes you happier during your pregnancy; just sharing my own opinion for me and my experience. X

 

[hope4bump]

I would agree with that, each to their own... No-one has the right to tell others their decisions are right or wrong, neither is it very clever to tell someone they most probably didn't hear the heartbeat where they heard it, as everybody's bodies are different, and therefore can't be thrown a book for everything that happens! I do know the difference between a heartbeat and a whooshing sound coming from the placenta... Have a lovely day ladies

 

[milf2be]

I would agree with that, each to their own... No-one has the right to tell others their decisions are right or wrong, neither is it very clever to tell someone they most probably didn't hear the heartbeat where they heard it, as everybody's bodies are different, and therefore can't be thrown a book for everything that happens! I do know the difference between a heartbeat and a whooshing sound coming from the placenta... Have a lovely day ladies

did i tell you you had made the wrong decision? no i did not.

did i tell you you didnt hear the heart beat? NO I DID NOT, i asked if you were sure it wasnt the placenta because you can get them both the same heart rate if you listen to the fetal side. it can be VERY difficult to tell the difference sometimes, especially on things like my angel sounds doppler because at times even im not sure because of the sounds echoing around in there.

please do not put words into my mouth. at the end of the day im trying to HELP you.

 

[hope4bump]

Please, I think it is time YOU calm down! Read your comments again, not only to me but also to the other ladies. I never got involved with an argument or anything like this before on here, all I am trying to say is let us have our opinions, it's not going to change just because you don't agree with them Lovely day to you.

 

[milf2be]

Please, I think it is time YOU calm down! Read your comments again, not only to me but also to the other ladies. I never got involved with an argument or anything like this before on here, all I am trying to say is let us have our opinions, it's not going to change just because you don't agree with them Lovely day to you.

since when have i tried to change your opinion???

i never said i dont think the midwife should have checked where you thought baby was, if it was me i personally would have checked, i always ask mums where they feel baby kick when im feeling their tummies before i try and find the fetal heart, but there is a reason why we check just above the pubic bone at 16 weeks and there are plenty of reasons why baby couldnt be heard then.

what i do get annoyed at is what i said before about comments like "idiots" and "they" dont refer to one person they refer to midwives in general and that is what i take offence at.

 

[hope4bump]

And if you read my posts....I never made comments saying any of that! I am not having this conversation anymore, I'm bored of it, honestly! Have a lovely day!

 

[milf2be]

I would agree with that, each to their own... No-one has the right to tell others their decisions are right or wrong, neither is it very clever to tell someone they most probably didn't hear the heartbeat where they heard it, as everybody's bodies are different, and therefore can't be thrown a book for everything that happens! I do know the difference between a heartbeat and a whooshing sound coming from the placenta... Have a lovely day ladies

no that wasnt aimed at me at all :/

 

[nickyXjayno]

Oh dear just let it go hun, some midwifes are just airy fairy and set in their ways, doesn't matter how much 'training' they have.
Some people just think their right and it doesn't matter whether they are a midwife/doctor/teacher etc and will think their experience is far superior to yours.

I don't think the other girls were being harsh but I do think you are taking things a bit personal, just chill .
Yes you may be a good midwife and know many but that doesn't mean there aren't bad ones!

I've spoken to a few midwifes and the one I was supposed to see cancelled my appointment but never phoned me to tell me!
She never has a her phone turned on and never gets back to you despite leaving repeated voicemail messages of where are you for my appointment?!

Had to phone my dr's in the end and another community midwife phoned me and explained the woman had cancelled all her appointments and was supposed to have contacted us all.
She said I'd have another appointment with her the next day but she never turned up for that either!

Instead I saw a lovely lady who was watching her post.
Sadly have found out the unreliable midwife is the one I've been 'assigned' to for the duration of my pregnancy....great!

I understand midwifes will get called away etc but two days in a row and no bother of a phone call and to leave me travelling there and waiting!
Also the phone ALWAYS being turned off irritates me, took me a week to get hold of her to put me on her books and to arrange an appointment....
where as the other community midwifes always have their phone on.

 

[hope4bump]

Go read your posts back!!! I am sure if your superiors see and hear how you go about and talk to pregnant women you will no doubt get a disciplinary. Your argumentative nature speaks for itself. Don't you have a CODE OF CONDUCT??

 

[milf2be]

Go read your posts back!!! I am sure if your superiors see and hear how you go about and talk to pregnant women you will no doubt get a disciplinary. Your argumentative nature speaks for itself. Don't you have a CODE OF CONDUCT??

please explain to me what i have said or done that is that bad?

i have simply tried to explain things from the midwives point of view, i have asked everyone on here to have consideration for others because i did feel insulted by the way people were phrasing things (its like if i met a bossy and smelly receptionist and i said god receptionists are so bossy and smelly - just an example lol i dont know any recpetionists)

 

[milf2be]

Oh dear just let it go hun, some midwifes are just airy fairy and set in their ways, doesn't matter how much 'training' they have.
Some people just think their right and it doesn't matter whether they are a midwife/doctor/teacher etc and will think their experience is far superior to yours.

I don't think the other girls were being harsh but I do think you are taking things a bit personal, just chill .
Yes you may be a good midwife and know many but that doesn't mean there aren't bad ones!

I've spoken to a few midwifes and the one I was supposed to see cancelled my appointment but never phoned me to tell me!
She never has a her phone turned on and never gets back to you despite leaving repeated voicemail messages of where are you for my appointment?!

Had to phone my dr's in the end and another community midwife phoned me and explained the woman had cancelled all her appointments and was supposed to have contacted us all.
She said I'd have another appointment with her the next day but she never turned up for that either!

Instead I saw a lovely lady who was watching her post.
Sadly have found out the unreliable midwife is the one I've been 'assigned' to for the duration of my pregnancy....great!

I understand midwifes will get called away etc but two days in a row and no bother of a phone call and to leave me travelling there and waiting!
Also the phone ALWAYS being turned off irritates me, took me a week to get hold of her to put me on her books and to arrange an appointment....
where as the other community midwifes always have their phone on.

hi, i do think i am taking things a bit too personally, but i do get upset when i see people saying things like they have, because as i said above if i insulted receptionists all the receptionists on here would get a bit agitated and upset too!!

in NO way are midwives perfect and iv actually said this myself in more than one post, thats not my point, my point more was dont tarnish us all with the same brush

aww im sorry you are not having a very good experience with your community midwife, i find it very rude when someone doesnt get back to you, especially when you have made the effort to be there and they are not!! are you aware that you are able to change your midwife if you want to? talk to your doctor or someone at the doctors surgery about it you can go to children centres or to another GP just for your midwifery appts. good luck, i hope it gets sorted for you!! x

 

[nickyXjayno]

I didn't realise you could change midwifes, didn't want to say anything at the time to rock the boat as the woman I saw was so lovely.
Would love to have her as my midwife so maybe I could ask...
Dunno would be really awkward if I couldn't and got seen to by the hard to get hold of one anyway =/

I sort of know what you mean, I work in a retail outlet picking up shopping for people who have ordered online and customers can be horrific and treat us all like robots or idiots, really do clump us all together which sucks.
Have seen a few threads on here about 'stupid tesco staff' but I just ignore them lol.
But you just go to let it wash over your head or you'd see me on the news wanted for murder lol....

But end of the day it's luck of the draw on who you get to deal with and sometimes it's nice to just vent .

Think the main problem of this forum is most of us are pregnant and full of hormones .

 

[milf2be]

I didn't realise you could change midwifes, didn't want to say anything at the time to rock the boat as the woman I saw was so lovely.
Would love to have her as my midwife so maybe I could ask...
Dunno would be really awkward if I couldn't and got seen to by the hard to get hold of one anyway =/

I sort of know what you mean, I work in a retail outlet picking up shopping for people who have ordered online and customers can be horrific and treat us all like robots or idiots, really do clump us all together which sucks.
Have seen a few threads on here about 'stupid tesco staff' but I just ignore them lol.
But you just go to let it wash over your head or you'd see me on the news wanted for murder lol....

But end of the day it's luck of the draw on who you get to deal with and sometimes it's nice to just vent .

Think the main problem of this forum is most of us are pregnant and full of hormones .

o god it would be awful to turn up for your appointment after requesting a change and seeing her she would have to be a professional though and not say anything about it - thats if she knows because normally you are discreet as possible about it and obviously dont give the woman's name if you dont have to. if she keeps on the way she has been doing though i think it would be worth requesting a change, because its supposed to be a special time in your life and you dont want that ruined for you

it probably wouldnt bother me so much if i wasnt so hormonal lol. but my nan got hit by a car earlier and im waiting to hear if shes ok

im actually glad someone replied because im on the fence about whether to leave the forum after the post above saying something like if my superiors found out i would be disciplined. its stressing me out now and im not sure what to do i dont think i have said anything wrong, maybe a bit grumpy in places but i dont think i have offended or insulted anyone iv just 1 tried to help and 2 tried to get people to understand my point of view/midwives. i also feel the OP purposely tried to wind me up because i hadnt spoken directly to her in a couple of posts and out of nowhere she posts that

 

[ChocolateKate]

Milf2be - I don't think you've said anything offensive. I just think hormones cause emotions to run high. Please don't leave the forum for stating your opinion, I find it's incredibly useful to read a healthy debate and as others have said, it's not personal. Love and healing thoughts to you and your Nan. X