I have been in the hospital since about 9am yesterday. Things are not looking good for us
After my anatomy ultrasound I went in for a pelvic exam where they informed me that my cervix is dilated and the sac is bulging out. At that time I was told that they could try to gently push the sac back in and give me a stitch. I was so happy even though I knew it was risky. I figured if they pop the sac oh well because baby won't have a chance if we don't try.
So I get wheeled to the floor where they are suppose to give me the stitch only to be told on need to go to a different floor. When we get to the room they put me in and talked with the nurses it seemed there was a change of plans just in the time it took us to get there.
The doctor who would perform the stitch came in and talked to me. The stitch was still an option but she wanted to do an amnio to make sure there wasn't an infection. If there was an infection they were going to hurry up and have me deliver and if not then we could pursue our options. I'm not going to lie the amnio kind of hurt but I just kept thinking of my healthy baby girl. They had to stick the needle in twice (the lady who stuck it in had not been successful in getting to the fluid
) and while it was in they wiggled it around which caused bad menstrual like cramping. I had some cramping and lower back ache for a little while after. It surprisingly didn't hurt at all when they took the needle out.
So after waiting for the results the lady who poked me twice with the giant needle came in to tell me that my amnio came back great, there was no infection and all the other things (not sure what those things are) came back great. However she did not bring only good news, she informed me that the doctor who would put the stitch in didn't want to do for fear of causing my cervix to rip making it difficult for future pregnancy and/or popping the sac. She said it was just too dangerous and that they were just going to "wait it out". I could tell by those words and the sympathetic look on her face that meant they would not be doing anything to try to save my baby
So here I am on strict bed rest waiting for the worst. Right now I need nothing short of a miracle. Although most of me is trying to prepare myself for when it happens another part of me is hoping and praying for some kind of miracle, I know they happen all the time.
What makes this harder is the fact that our little girl is healthy and growing strong. I saw her twice yesterday on the ultrasound and it made me so sad because she is happy as a clam in there and has no idea that her life may be over before she got a chance to live it. If she was unhealthy or had a genetic disorder I think it might make it easier. I would never abort my baby because of a genetic disorder (personally) but it would give me reason on why this is happening.