18wks fluid gone and baby has died Please advise

[majored]

Hello All, im 18 weeks and Thursday just gone my waters started to go. They did a scan on Friday to inform me that the baby only had 1cm of fluid around it.

last night at home i used my doppler and i couldnt find the HB so the hospital told me to come in. They also had a go with the doppler and couldnt find anything either.

This morning i had a scan and there was no fluid it had all gone, baby wasnt moving and no Hb. Ive got to go back again tomorrow for another scan to comfrim things.

Then the hole thing can begin. I know its like giving birth etc.
However the doctors have worried me about the fact of too much bleeding or the placenta not coming out then having to have a operation to sort it all out.
This is my third pregnancy and my other two were normal pregnancies but were sections.

So i hope things will be quick with out problems. Ive just got over the fact of
loosing this baby and its still not over, i dont know what to expect and a little frightened about all this all. Any advise would be great

Thanks xx

 

[jojo23]

im so sorry for your loss hun!! i lost my little girl at 22 weeks and they said the fluid was very low around her also but im not 100% sure what exactly it was...all i can say is for me the birth was the easy part, i was brought in and given a tablet on the monday to lower hormone levels etc and then on the wednesday i went back in and was admitted, i was then given the meds to start the labour process, i wasnt in any pain and i felt my watrs break but im not sure about what way they approach having no fluid at all.... and then she came and that was it. please dont be scared of it hun it,afterwards i chose to see her, some women dont but i knew i would regret it, i was expecting an alien like little thing but she was really lovely! the nurse showed us everything and then took her away and i saw her the next day to say goodbye!

take your time with decisions hun, they are yours to make and dont let anyone make them for you!! ask any questions you need to ask and get all the info you need... cry all the tears you want your entitled to!!!!

if you need anything we are always here for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx sleep tight little angel

 

[mhazzab]

I actually saw your thread last night in the second tri forum, I didn't want to reply as I was really hoping things would work out well for you, and I didn't want to scare you.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

I think you will have to give birth and go through all the contractions etc and it is heartbreaking doing this knowing what the outcome will be, and I'm so sad you will have to go through this. I think some people at your gestation have been given a different option, to have baby removed by a D&E I think it's called, hopefully someone else can give you more information.

I can't give much advice on being induced or further ops after birth to remove placenta, as neither of these happened to me, my body went into labour by itself and was a pretty straightforward birth, it was just too soon. But I know there are others on here who have been through this who could perhaps give you advice.

Have the docs said anything about what will happen next, if they confirm things?

please feel free to ask as many questions as you like we will do our best to anwer them
xx

 

[SarahJane]

Firstly I am so sorry for your loss

Jojo is right, the hardest moment has passed. Finding out that your baby has become an angel was, for me, the toughest part. As hard as it is to believe, the emotional pain is much worse than any physical pain you could imagine.

In a strange way I look back on giving birth to Evelyn and can smile. There isn't much I could have given her but I gave her life and when she was born it was a weirdly happy moment.

I wont lie, labour will hurt a lot but they will give you drugs to make it as easy as possible and they will support you.

I was warned about a further operation also but this wasn't needed as baby came out fully with the placenta. The op they would do is a D and E (I think) to remove anything which hasn't come out naturally, it is not a massivly risky operation from what I read when I was about to have Evelyn.

If you want to ask anything at all PM me and I hope the coming days, weeks and months are kind to you xxx

 

[majored]

Thank you for your replies. At the moment i feel empty i dont know if thats the correct word to use. Its like its not happening to me and i think i have shut it all out to tell you the truth.

Ive done a lot of worrying and crying in this pregnancy as ive had a sch and been bleeding for quite a while. I know i shouldnt look for things to blame but you do. Is it something ive done or didnt do. Was it the Sch, did i not rest enough, eat the right things. Maybe because i was stressed out and had been crying. I tried my best to not stress out but i sometimes i couldnt help it.


Either way its now happened and ive got to face facts.

thanks for your kind thoughts ladies xx

 

[SarahJane]

Thank you for your replies. At the moment i feel empty i dont know if thats the correct word to use. Its like its not happening to me and i think i have shut it all out to tell you the truth.

Ive done a lot of worrying and crying in this pregnancy as ive had a sch and been bleeding for quite a while. I know i shouldnt look for things to blame but you do. Is it something ive done or didnt do. Was it the Sch, did i not rest enough, eat the right things. Maybe because i was stressed out and had been crying. I tried my best to not stress out but i sometimes i couldnt help it.


Either way its now happened and ive got to face facts.

thanks for your kind thoughts ladies xx

Nothing you did made any difference babe. It isn't your fault. It is normal to feel empty, I didn't cry for days. It is also normal to try to find something to blame. It is all part of the healing process. I can promise you that nothing you did hurt your baby. My consultant told me that when I delivered Evelyn. It has taken me 8 months to start to believe it but I am getting there

 

[mhazzab]

i think I went into denial...I went into labour on the Sunday night and my waters broke, but after that, everything stopped for 24 hours. In that time, I don't really remember much, I think I just switched off, and it was like that after I gave birth, I couldn't cry I was just so shocked.

Please don't blame yourself or think that this is your fault. It's normal to feel this way, we all felt this, but, if you could have done anything to prevent this, you would have. There's nothing you could have done.

The next few days, weeks and months ahead will be hard, but you're not alone, if you want support then we are all here for you, whatever you need.

please keep us updated xxx

 

[Hellylou]

Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss, and that you have had to come here under such circumstances.

I lost my baby boy at 16 weeks after my waters broke early and I had signs of infection also. I had to be induced after it became clear that the pregnancy stood no chance. It was a relatively quick process once the decision had been made, and I took tablets orally to start contractions off, and 5 hours later he was born. It was painful, but with pain relief it was manageable pain. The emotional pain was by far the worst element. The placenta was delivered naturally also, just over an hour later.

I know how it feels to look back and wonder what if I had done this or that, would the outcome be different, but no, it is nothing you did or didn't do. It is a terrible tragic event that is out of everyone's control.

As others have said, take your time with the decisions that you will have to make over the coming days and weeks, and it can be very overwhelming, but do what feels right for you and your family - there is no right or wrong here. It will be a tough road ahead, but you will get through it day by day, and we are all here to support you whenever you need us.

Again, I am so sorry you are going through this. Thinking of you

 

[winterwonder]

Oh hun i am so so sorry you are going through this and for the loss of our precious baby. Try not to blame yourself, it isn't your fault, if you need any support the ladies here are amazing!

Concerning what will happen i think unless labour naturally occurs i think they will likely induce you. Thats what they did to me, you'll have a tablet that will start to get your body ready and then (this is what happened with me) a few days later they'll call you back and give you more tablets to bring on contractions and hopefully everything will be alright afterwards and you wont need to have your placenta removed manually like i did.

I'm sorry if that sounds all scary but it will be fine and hopefully the nurses will look after you and help you make some memories of you little one.

xxx

 

[Bride2b]

Hey Hun,I saw ur initial thread on the 2nd tri forum a few days ago...just happened to see the title about leaking fluid. My heart breaks for you as when I read it I knew that the odds for your baby was so slim. I know this because a little under 2 weeks ago I went through the exact same thing as you,I kept checking in and saw your progress but didn't want to post anything. My waters broke and gushed out,they gave me the whole waiting for infection talk & possible termination of the pregnancy too if I didn't go into labour. I was just over 19 weeks. For me it all happened quickly,my baby still had a heart beat,my waters broke at 3pm & contractions stopped for a few hours,returning intensely later that evening & I gave birth at 11.30pm.

Everything you described is what I went through,I really hoped for you that you wouldn't need to find your way here. I know what ur feeling & want to you ask questions & cry if you need to.

The doctors told me that they would induce labor if it didn't start naturally & that I would have to give birth. I had pethadin & luckily labour didn't go on for hours.

You have time to think about what you would like for your baby. I did hold my little boy but not for long.....if you decide to take as long with your baby as you need. The hospital did hand & foot prints...which I treasure as I have nothing else for him. I decided against a photo as I didn't think it was a good idea. I wish now that I had got one,they may offer it to you,if your unsure have one taken but maybe kept in your notes until you decide that you want to see it. These are all very personal choices & it's awful that I am telling you these things but that time once your baby is born is precious & it's a chance for you to spend time. I was not prepared for anything & I'm not sure I made all the right decisions as I had to make them on the spot,as hard as it is I think it's important to think about these things.

Please stay in touch,it's been 2 weeks tomorrow for me & I have gone through all what you have with the hope of keeping the baby in as long as possible to try and replenish the waters. If you need to ask anything then please do...even if you think it's personal...please don't try & get through this alone

Take care xxxx

 

[TrinUC]

Hello All, im 18 weeks and Thursday just gone my waters started to go. They did a scan on Friday to inform me that the baby only had 1cm of fluid around it.

last night at home i used my doppler and i couldnt find the HB so the hospital told me to come in. They also had a go with the doppler and couldnt find anything either.

This morning i had a scan and there was no fluid it had all gone, baby wasnt moving and no Hb. Ive got to go back again tomorrow for another scan to comfrim things.

Then the hole thing can begin. I know its like giving birth etc.
However the doctors have worried me about the fact of too much bleeding or the placenta not coming out then having to have a operation to sort it all out.
This is my third pregnancy and my other two were normal pregnancies but were sections.

So i hope things will be quick with out problems. Ive just got over the fact of
loosing this baby and its still not over, i dont know what to expect and a little frightened about all this all. Any advise would be great

Thanks xx

Hi, I'm sorry for your loss. I had the same thing. They did an ultrasound to confirm that my water had broke. Almost all the amniotic fluid was gone, except for just a little bit around her head. My baby was still alive and her heart was barely beating. They sent a specialist in to speak with me and he said it was only a matter of time before her heart stopped completely. They gave me the option of letting my body go into labor naturally or receive cytotec to put me into labor.. the doctor said oxytocin [aka pitocin] wouldn't help me since I was still "early" in my pregnancy.

My OH and I decided to choose the cytotec because there was also a risk of me catching an infection since my water bag had already ruptured and my OH didn't want to lose the both of us. I let the nurse know I had decided on the cytotec and she called the doctor, the doctor said I could have an epidural when ever I wanted it. I wanted it ASAP because the contractions were bad. The anesthesiologist inserted the epidural catheter and then the nurse inserted a foley and then placed the cytotec around 1pm Monday and by 4pm I delivered my baby. The delivery of the baby was simple, I was laying in bed and felt a very strong contraction and then something fell between my legs (TMI, sorry) The placenta is what gave me the most trouble, it tore upon delivery so I then went to the OR for an emergency D&C (dilation and curettage). I was awake from the procedure, but I could not feel a thing. With the epidural for the delivery I was numb, but could wiggle my toes, when I was headed to the OR the anesthesiologist pushed more medicine and told me I was going to be more numb, to the point where I could not wiggle my toes anymore, that was very true. The D&C took about 15 minutes, but it felt like 5. It was very fast.

I was very frightened as well, but everything turned out okay.. well minus the baby part

Thank you for your replies. At the moment i feel empty i dont know if thats the correct word to use. Its like its not happening to me and i think i have shut it all out to tell you the truth.

Ive done a lot of worrying and crying in this pregnancy as ive had a sch and been bleeding for quite a while. I know i shouldnt look for things to blame but you do. Is it something ive done or didnt do. Was it the Sch, did i not rest enough, eat the right things. Maybe because i was stressed out and had been crying. I tried my best to not stress out but i sometimes i couldnt help it.


Either way its now happened and ive got to face facts.

thanks for your kind thoughts ladies xx

I know it's hard to think it was your fault, but it wasn't. I was on bed rest for 2 weeks before all of this happened, it was just meant to be. I was blaming myself a lot (and still am) because I have an anxiety disorder so I keep thinking all the anxiety I was having caused this. When I got discharged, I was having pain and I convinced myself that I didn't deserve to take my pain medicine because I deserved to be in pain and to be punished, but I snap back to reality and remember it wasn't my fault. You'll be back and forth with blaming yourself, but please know that it wasn't your fault.

Wish you the best, Michelle

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so sorry you are going through this
I lost Ava at 20 weeks, I was set up for a D&E (I didn't know at the time what that was) anyway after I got home I googled and I found out what a D&E was and I didn't want it, but the doctor said I was already going to get it, I was prepared and had to be at the hospital in the morning. I didn't go, I went into labor about 5-am and she was out a 6-am I have 3 boys so I knew this would be a fast birth and the pain would be maybe 2 hours, that was true for me. So i let it happen and gave birth in my home .. They would not let me give birth they awere insisting I had to get the D&E. After I had her we went to the hospital and we held Ava and we buried her on 3/11/2011. I would not advise anyone to do what I did, but a D&E was never explained to me, if it had been I would have chosen to give birth. They said it would have been explained to me before the procedure, I said I don;t care I would have not done it and that was it. My doctor was livid he didn't even call the hospital to see how I was, he said I could have bled to death and a number of other things, but I didn't care. Ava came into this world the way I wanted to not the way they wanted her to.

My SIL also lost her baby at 16 weeks, 7 weeks after I lost Ava She chose to have the D&E and I respect her choice, it was not for me is all.

I just am so sorry you are going through this, but the fact that this is your third pregnancy might mean your labor will be fast and quick, it is usually with your first child that labor is long and hard. My 1st son was 22 hrs labor my second and third were 2 hrs, that is how I knew Ava would come fast. I had no pain at all. For the first week I was in complete denial, I didn't even cry. After that I went to bed and didn't get out till 2 weeks and now 9 months later I still cry every day. Things are a better now , but it takes a lot of time. This grieving process never ends but it does ease. I wish you all the best and I hope everything is gentle on you and your body.. I am so sorry ..We are all here for you

 

[DueSeptember]

I am sorry for your Loss

 

[majored]

I wish to thank all of your for your support. Your stories have touched me and made me shed a tear, at times life can be so unfair. Your stories have also helped me, in understanding things better. I know at times i feel on my own with all of this like im the only one. Howeve.r there are so many other women going through it and have been through it as well

While i was pregnant i worried about me sch and cried often then i worried about birth as i needed another section and a leaflet that was given to me about birth after a section. Well it gave some very frightening facts, and made me cry every day.

I dont know if the worry has caused this as i bleed for many weeks and this restricted my life a little bit and i never got to enjoy pregnancy.

Now my waters have gone, baby gone and ive got to give birth. They said im too far gone to have any medical procedure. They said its got to be done with medication, then went on to tell me all the problems with that. So once again im worrying about how long it will take and what will happen. I know nobody can give me times etc. He told me if the placenta doesnt come out within an hour then it means it will be stuck and i will need an op. So im worried about bleeding etc

I will need to look at the baby when its born, for me to except things better and i dont want to regret it later, as you cant turn back the clock. If only this happened in a month or so time things may have been different.

I still can get out of my head the vision of the scan this morning, the baby was so hard to make out. No water it was all gone, poor baby all squashed up in a ball and it was so hard to make things out. I could make out a hand and the head.

My other two children do not know whats happened (their 12 & 15) and christmas coming up as well. When your ment to be happy and be having a good time. I know i will need to be strong and try and carry on as best as i can and at times i will fail.

Thank you all again.... I just hope i can get through this and come out the other side. xxx

 

[hayley x]

I'm so sorry for your loss thinking of you xxx

 

[SarahJane]

Your baby will be beautiful. Enjoy every second you get xxx

 

[jennijunni]

I am so, so sorry. This is such a terrible, heartbreaking thing to go through. I would advise to go into the hospital for an induction, and would advise to not do it at home. I had my DS at 17 weeks at home, and almost bled to death. I had to have blood transfusions, and I had to have emergency surgery, where they thought I would need an emergency hysterectomy to remove my placenta. it was very, very scary. So if you have the choice go in and be induced. I again, and am so, so sorry. I would also suggest to hold, and name your sweet baby, and spend some time with your baby, it really does help. Again, I am so, so sorry. Lots and lots of hugs to you!

 

[majored]

SarahJane, i have just relised your sad loss as well. Please take care xx

 

[Nikki_d72]

Oh Hun I'm so sorry. I hate it whenever a new lady has to join us. Your situation was so similar to mine, I lost all my waters in a huge gush at 19+ weeks, went on hospital bed rest for 6 days but then my body went into labour. My boys were still alive before then though so I was willing myself not to. I'm so sorry you had to find out that your baby had passed at the scan honey, this is so unfair, I know. Hold onto the knowledge that your lovely wee angel has passed and nothing can hurt your baby, I tortured myself about labour killing mine and birth killing the second twin and made things so much worse for myself trying to hold them in against my body, which increased the pain for me and prolonged things.

The hospital staff will support you, let them know what's happening, I hid it from them that I was labouring so only really had gas and air once I was actually birthing. The pain wasn't too bad though, only really got on top of me enough to need the gas and air when I was actually birthing and that was only for a really short time and my placenta came with the second twin, try not to worry about having a manual removal just now, it may not happen. they have to tell you these risks. they will probably give you the injection in your thigh to help the placenta detach and stem bleeding, I had it even after I delivered it, just as a precaution as Post partum bleeding is a risk at this gestation, that's why it's important to be attended in hospital.

I would second getting pictures, even if you don't want to see them just now, it's better to have them and decide later than not have them and regret it. Try to spend as much time as you want, don't worry about what anyone else thinks, you do what's right for you.

I'm so sorry to be having to tell you these things though, it breaks my heart that any other family is having to go through this. I hope you keep in touch with us and we can try to help you through the times ahead. Christmas is going to be so difficult for you, as it will for all of us but things are so raw and fresh for you, I really feel for you. Try not to expect too much of yourself. Others will understand if you can't participate fully.

I hope your induction goes smoothly for you and you are well cared-for. Much love to you and your family xxx

ETA: Nothing you did/didn't do caused this, you will go through a phase of trying to blame everything and yourself, I'll tell you not to but I know you will anyway, just please don't let that consume you as it's simply not true. It was completely out of your control and I know that in itself is hard to accept. The SCH and bleeding is likely to have weakened the membranes, the thrombin in the blood is known to be a factor, this is one of the things I've seen many times when researching pPROM. I'm not sure if that will help you or not to know that but thought I should share what knowledge I've gleaned as I'm sure the doctors will discuss it with you later and it may stop you from thinking it was anything you did that caused it. That's n ot to say that every woman who bleeds is going to experience pPROM either though, it seems to be very complex and no doctors seem to fully understand it. Hope that Helps, I'm sorry if it upsets you though.

 

[rossyrozela]

Hello All, im 18 weeks and Thursday just gone my waters started to go. They did a scan on Friday to inform me that the baby only had 1cm of fluid around it.

last night at home i used my doppler and i couldnt find the HB so the hospital told me to come in. They also had a go with the doppler and couldnt find anything either.

This morning i had a scan and there was no fluid it had all gone, baby wasnt moving and no Hb. Ive got to go back again tomorrow for another scan to comfrim things.

Then the hole thing can begin. I know its like giving birth etc.
However the doctors have worried me about the fact of too much bleeding or the placenta not coming out then having to have a operation to sort it all out.
This is my third pregnancy and my other two were normal pregnancies but were sections.

So i hope things will be quick with out problems. Ive just got over the fact of
loosing this baby and its still not over, i dont know what to expect and a little frightened about all this all. Any advise would be great

Thanks xx

Sorry to hear about your pain,you are in the right place here,i feel your pain,i was 20 wks pregant and had to have atermination due to chromosoes abnormality,like you i had had two previous c-sections .What i did experiance was alot of burning pain in the same spot where i had my c-section cut.This happens when they had put in the tablet that is supposed to make your cervix dilate.The pain was so bad i tried everything and i was also given an injection for pain relief and it didnt work.The pain is so bad.Mine was done at Maristopes and i believe that if it is carried out in ahospital you will be offered plenty of pain relief.
The one i had was called surgical termination.
Also my consultant told me before then that if i have a surgical termination after previously having 2 c-sections then when i will get pregnnat again iam likely to misscarry ,i dont know how she worked tht out but i have another appointment next week and i will ask.Iam seeing asenior consultant.