18wks fluid gone and baby has died Please advise

[SarahJane]

Thinking of you today xxx

 

[waiting_game]

So sorry for your loss amor I read your story and it was truly heartbreaking. Though we had different circumstances, the outcome was the same. I got induced at about halfway thru my 21 week, as babygirls heartbeat rapidly began to decrease, because of being so dilated, i was leaking fluid as well.
The labor wasnt so bad, but they gave me medication to calm me down (anxiety meds i guess). But I never got a follow up, or a D&C afterwards. My bleeding was pretty intense for about 2 weeks and though it has been four months now, I am still having tissue and clots coming out, in heavy amounts (tmi sorry).
If you have doubts, or questions I would never hesitate to bring it up. Its most important that during this difficult time, that you are made as comfortable as possbile.
Keeping you in prayer.

 

[rossyrozela]

Sorry for this sounding silly, when you give birth do you have to push or does it just all come away?

I dont want to make things worse like bleeding if i push and im not ment to.

Thanks xx

Nothing silly in that at all! Ask anything, honestly hon, one of us will have been there or thought it, no matter how strange it may seem to you. Just ask anything.

I think it depends, usually your body will just take over and do it, I was trying like hell not to and my body just took over and pushed them out anyway (but my case was a wee bit different as I knew at least one of them was still alive so I was fighting it, like I said, try not to fight it). If you relax as much as possible you will make it easier for yourself, I know that's hard though. They are skinny wee things at this gestation so they do slip out pretty easily, it's nothing like a full term birth. When I was on bed rest hoping they would stay my cervix was slightly dilated and my Ob told me that if it went even to 4cm the babies could drop out, so you don't have to dilate far. I also had a previous C/Section but did labour to nearly the end so can compare a bit. I'm not sure if you experienced labour before with your other two but it's nothing like it, please try not to worry. My previous C/S made no difference to labouring and delivering this time, as I was asking them that as I had a tear to my uterus last time. Please try not to worry about the technicalities, the medical staff will be with you helping you every step of the way hon. I hope it goes smoothly for you hon, I'll be thinking of you. I would check out the SANDS website too, it is of great help.

All the best, hope to hear from you soon. xxx

I did go through labour with both of my other children but only managed to get to 9cm with both and ended up both times having a section. With my son they induced me at 37 weeks and he just didnt want to come out. labour lasted 18 hours before the section. With my daughter it happened faster and within 3 hours i got to 9 cm but it didnt progress, so another section.

The doctor was a bit worried about my scar, which in turn has now me worry.
As i hadnt thought about it to tell you the truth. I would assume it would only become a problem if i got to 10cm which shouldnt be an issue.

Ive asked about an injection to deliver and they said they dont think they will do this as its something that they do later in pregnancy not this early. So slightly worried about that.











Can i ask also afterwards did you bleed alot like you had a bad miscarriage or was it like a period. I was ment to be going to kent this weekend but i dont know if im going to be able to travel. My partner doesnt want me to go.

thanks once again.

xxx

I understand your worry,i was worried too because i had had 2 previous c-section and i had never experianced labour,my consultant also told me that if i do get pregnant again iw ould suffer amisscarriage but i will risk it.
I had surgical temination and you dont have to push,it is in two stages first they put the tablet to dilate your cervix and to bring on the contractions .They leave you for 3 hours then they take you to the theater under GA and they remove the product.

 

[majored]

Hello ladies, thank you for all your messages.

Just to let all you know. I had a light stomach ache tue night but went to bed. Wednesday morning i started to spot which turned from brown to red. I sat on the toilet about 8.45 am and something started to come out. I wasnt in any pain. I managed to get dressed, sort my stuff out then into the car and get to the hospital. All the time i was trying to hold everything in, frightened what might happen and i might bleed. Started to feel pain in the hospital lift and just got to lay on my bed and i relaxed , then the baby came out. I didnt see it as they wrapped it up and cut the cord.

I felt fine and waited for the placenta to come. Nothing happened, so they gave me an injection i felt a few contractions....still no placenta. They then put me on a drip, after 2 hrs still no placenta. They drs started to talk about taking me down for an op. I then started to get upset, thinking about things. I just kept saying to myself can things get any worse in my life. They carried on with the drip and the head dr came in and said any contractions? I hadnt had any for hours... Went to the toilet and i noticed that the cord with the clamp on had dropped so i told them this. However they still wanted me to go for an op. I sat on the toilet pushing and pushing for ages, trying and praying that it would come out so it could all be over. NOTHING!!! i cried and begged them not to take me down.

The doctor said she would examin me to see if she could see the placenta, i said please do. Well it was ok at first and then the pain. She put her fingers inside the cervix and grabbed the placenta and pulled it out. It wasnt attached it had been laying in the uterus for nearly 5 hours thats why i wasnt contracting. However it wasnt coming out. The pain of her putting her fingers inside had me scream and everything tensed up. She then did it another 2 times to make sure it was all gone. I couldnt stop crying i was in shock. So i then became thankful that it was all out. Because i pushed sooo hard i have now got piles which i quite sore at the moment.

They brought the baby to me and i found out we had a son, Samuel Joseph.. He was very delicate and not at all like i expected him to look. He was quite long and had long arms and fingers. I could see my oh in him. The cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times which distressed me alot. The drs told me this happens a lot but they dont always know about it because the baby can move about so much it normaly corrects itself and they baby can be fine. They took pictures also hand & footprints which were sweet. I then had another look at Samuel again in the eveing. He had changed already in such a short time. I had to look at him i needed to exept he had gone and i had lost him.

I feel empty now, i went into hospital with him and i left without him. I now have to try and get on with life and think about the little life i loved and now is gone forever. I couldnt help him and i tried my best to do whats right. Im so sorry to him if ive done something wrong, i hope god can forgive me if i have.

At home now, not bleeding. Ive lost a few small clots this morning but nothing else seems to be coming out. I dont know if thats a good thing, Trying to keep a bit mobile so things come out.

Thanks everyone for everything, take care xxx

 

[waiting_game]

Honey, this was nothing you did, bad things happen to good people. Sometimes, you can do everything possibly right and feel like you have failed, but that is the grief of it all. I am so sorry for your loss, that is such a horrible experience that no one should ever have to go to. It took me about 3 months to be able to pass everything that the doctors did not get out. Will be keeping you and OH in prayers here. Beautiful name for your little boy.

 

[SarahJane]

Oh babe, what a tough time you have had

RIP Samuel Joseph, another angel, gone but never forgotten x

You have done nothing wrong, I promise you of that. Take one day at a time and if you need to vent at any time, that is what we are here for.

Loads and loads of love, I will ask Evelyn to keep an eye on Samuel also xxx

 

[dnlfinker]

oh I am sorry that u had to go through such hell. Please know that its not your fault and
that you did nothing wrong. We are here to support you in any way taht we can. Now that this nightmare is over, its going to be hard at times, but as time passes you will be able to be stronger . As parents who who went through a loss we always feel guilty as to what we did and didnt do but in reallity we have to just take it
as a fact of life and it was an accident(unrelated to our pregnancy). I am saying this as many people said it to me , but even now 5 months post my loss , I have hard time to believe it.

JUst please take good care of yourself right now , and I hope that you can start healing . WHen I say healing I dont mean to act like it never happened, or to move on ( i hate when others say that) but accept it and look at it in a different way.


Wishing you only the best


Natalie

 

[Hellylou]

I am so so sorry, it is a terrible ordeal and such a shock. All of a sudden you are plunged into a nightmare and there is no waking up. It sounds like you have coped so well, and have a lot of inner strength, which will see you through these days ahead but be prepared for some very dark moments. Try if you can to rest, though. You have been through a lot, and your body needs to recover now.

Fly high little Samuel Joseph

 

[mhazzab]

what a beautiful name for a precious little angel.

I'm so sorry again that you are having to go through this. I'm glad you got to spend some time with him, and you have some photos of his hands and feet. You will treasure these forever.

I'm sorry you had such a bad time getting the placenta out - hopefully that's all of it out now.

please don't blame yourself. We have all been guilty of that, but there was nothing any of us could have done, of course we would have saved our babies if we could have.

here for you, always xxx

 

[Bride2b]

I'm glad you logged on, I was worried about you. I am also glad that things happened quite quickly too and that having him wasnt too painful. I do feel for you with the placenta, thats not nice to have to go through.

I'm pleased you saw him an got photos.

Do rest up though hun, you will need to put your feet up as you have been through a great deal & emotions can have a major physical effect in your body.

Please stay in touch on here, as most of us have been through the same thing & experienced the same emotions. Take care for now
xxx

 

[Nikki_d72]

I'm so glad you logged in too, I was checking for an update from you. I'm glad that the actual birth went smoothly and you got to hold your lovely little man, Samuel Joseph. What a lovely name, fly high little angel. I'm sorry about the manual removal of the placenta and I hope that's the physical part over now.

Remember to rest up, like Helen said.

I'm so sorry for your loss, you will never forget your little angel. You can come here and express whatever you need to - we will all be happy to help you in any way we can honey. xxx

 

[OliveBay]

I'm glad this part is over now and I hope that you can now begin to find some peace in greiving for Samuel. It sounds like the delivery went fairly well, expect for the placenta, and I'm so glad you spent some time with him and got some photos and hand/ footprints. Look after yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to right now. Thinking of you lots

As for the bleeding, I didn't bleed as much as I'd expected (I think I'd prepared myself for the absolute worst), but it did seem to start off fairly light and then got heavier after a few days - the midwife said that this was probably because I wasn't really doing much or moving/ walking much at first.

Take care x

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am glad that part is over for you , I know it's the emotional part that is really the hardest. You will get through this, never over it, but through it. It has been over 9 months for me and I still cry every night for Ava when I pray/ but things have gotten a lot better for me. It's a long and hard road and we all get there in our own time, as long as we get there is what is important. I am so sorry for everything and we all are here for you.. Sending Soooo much love to you and Samuel Joseph

 

[majored]

Hi all, I hope you dont mind me asking you questions again.

Its been just over 3 weeks since ive lost Samuel. The hospital said to me to do a pregnancy test about a week after the birth. Anyway i didnt as i was scared it would come up positive and it was xmas and i would be worrying about it. So i left it another week and did it before new year and it came back negative, so thats ok.

3 weeks on today i had a slight ache like i was going to have my period, I stopped bleeding last week. Then i had a little bit of cm which had a light brown colour to it( not lots) So could my period be coming back is it normal for it to happen this this fast? I bleed for soooo long and now ive stopped for a few days and ive started to feel normal but now this is happening..

Also because of OH family who have had baby loses, we had a pm done on Samuel. How long does it take for them to get back to you? They said they would only get back to me if there was an issue. So should i be waiting around for them to ring or do i ring them?


Many thanks for your time xx

 

[Nikki_d72]

Don't apologise for asking questions honey. I'm sorry though that I may not have all the answers, but somebody will. I bled for 2 weeks then it tailed off to browny discharge and mucousy stuff for about a week then it finally stopped. I had a break for two weeks after that then I got my first PP AF, so almost exactly 5 weeks PP. We are all different though. It being brown suggests old blood so I would think it may just be some left over but possibly not.

I didn't get a PM done, just placental histology. I got the results of that back at my follow -up appt, about 6 or 7 weeks after our loss, but I think PM can take a little longer. I don't think they should leave you hanging like that to be only called If there is an issue - you need to know one way or the other so I would call and ask them to make an appt for you when the results are ready. You are bound to have plenty of questions for them one way or the other. Have you a follow-up appt made?

I hope someone else can come along soon and give you a better answer. xxx

 

[evasmum]

I'm so sorry

 

[OliveBay]

I can't really remember but I think I bled heavily for about a week and then quite lightly for another week after having my baby. My first AF started 5 weeks after I delivered my baby, so about 3 weeks after the spotting stopped.

We had a PM done on our little boy and had an appointment with a consultant about 6-7 weeks after the delivery to go through the results of all the tests and PM. The consultant sent us a report summarising it all afterwards and we also asked for a copy of the full PM report just so we could read it all ourselves (even though it is full of medical terms we wanted to know all the details). This appointment was so important for us both in coming to terms with what had happened and also in starting to move on - we were given advice about when we could TTC again and what package of care we'll be offered next time, they were very thorough. I'd be suprised if they didn't give you any results, but I suppose all hospitals do it differently. If you don't hear in a few weeks you might want to give them a ring and ask.

 

[majored]

Hi, thank you for your replies. I was sort of saying to myself that its just the old stuff being around in there. I know everyone has cm and it can be light or heavy. I had a blob more cm this morning it was mainly clear but did have a brown tinge to it. So i guess unless it doesnt get any worse i wont worry about it.

As for the pm i dont know what to do. The only other reason i ask is that the drs said it wouldnt take that long, but i know we have had xmas & newyear etc. Then they said once the pm was done they would scatter the ashes in the garden of rememberance. I dont want them to forget to let us know.

Thanks for your time
xx

 

[majored]

I think im going mad, or down hill. It just seems to be one thing after another.
My blood loss has stopped and all cm is now clear however.......For the last 2 weeks ive been having bad headaches. Im getting it around both eyes. I was getting it everyday about 20 times throughout the day. Ive been having chest pains mainly left hand side but sometimes moves to the middle. The right side of my throat feels tight like something is tight around it and my tongue looks swollen on one side. My right knee is swollen and im finding it hard to bend it. I keep having a pulling feeling on the left hand side of my vagina, which starts off at the cervix and scoops along the vagina walls inside of me . My belly doesnt look like its gone back to normal, there are bumps sticking up here and there. ( it looks like loads of mountains).

I know i sound like a moany old woman, but i just cant cope with things. I feel like im going down hill fast. Some of the problems could be connected to each other. Im also to scared to go to the drs im just to worried about what she will say to me. I just wanted to get back to normal after my loss, but its just not happening.

Last week i worried about the pm as i had not heard. I then got a phone call to say it had been done but i would have to wait a while for the results. Then the vicar rang to tell me that the service for Samuel was Thursday 12th. The service was lovely and every little thought had gone into making it a special day for us. I tried not to look at his little white coffin laying there in front of me as i was trying to be brave and not cry. Yesterday 14th had been a month, it seems a lot longer than that. Things have got easier im not getting upset as much. I still have thoughts and feelings everyday. It was on the 12th that the headaches started to ease. I still get niggles above my eyes, ive tried not going on the laptop as much or reading as much.
I dont feel ive been worrying about things but i dont know if this is the cause.

I can understand my body not being 100% back to normal but now i seem to have all these other issues. I cant tell you how worried i am about going to the drs. Everytime before they told me something bad or worse than the time before. I want things to be ok, ive had enough go wrong . I feel im being repaid for things, like ive done so many bad/wrong things in my life
and these problems are like payback for them.

Im sorry to go on, i feel like i just need to let of a bit of steam.

Thanks
Sarahxx

 

[jojo23]

hey hun!! it so helps to let off steam... im sorry your feeling like this pet its just the biggest emotional rollercoaster ever and just when you think you should be getting back to feeling you again this happens... i would def get checked over by the doctor hun just to rule out any infections etc that might be lingering and maybe just to check your bloods etc in general. it cant do any harm hun!!

i totally understand about you feeling this is coming back for things you've done in your life, i think we've all felt like that from time to time. i remember when it happened i literally went over every little thing ive done in my life thinking well thats my punishment. but in reality its the complete opposite and it took me a while to realise that although i lost Lily she was probably the best thing that ever came into my life however short she was here for. i couldnt have been more blessed to have felt the love i felt for her and if i was a bad person or it was karma id never have gotten to know love like that. and if i had my time over again id do it all the same and have loved her just as much!!

im glad the service was lovely for you hun it brings a little bit of closure as heartbreaking as it is. but its lovely to have somewhere to go thats just yours and you can leave little things etc. it brings me so much peace to visit Lily and just sit there!

all i can say is no matter what we're always here for you!!!! and you dont need to feel guilty for having a lil melt down every now and then,your more than entitled to... your little angel is watching you now and so proud of his mummy! xxxxxxxxxxxx

love to you xxxxxx