18wks fluid gone and baby has died Please advise

[majored]

Hello all, ive been to hospital today i had my scan which confirmed everything. I had bloods taken to show i was ok. Then i was given my first tablet as well as me taking my antibiotics. I dont feel as bad today as yesterday, i do feel more calm. I feel quite tired at the moment but i dont think i could go to sleep. I filled in all my forms and was told of all the risks and yes im still worrying about them. At the scan i asked the size of the baby as its something ive got to pass.

So tomorrow im at home resting and im back in Wednesday morning for things to start.

Im sure on Wednesday im going to be a nervous wreck but reading all your messages have helped me understand more about whats going to happen.

They said they will do hand prints, foot prints and take a photo.

thank you for your time.

sarah

 

[SarahJane]

I am glad you feel a little bit calmer. I am also so pleased that they are going to do hand and footprints for you. Sands have a great website which gives some ideas of things you might like to happen when you meet your baby. It is well worth a look.

If you can get some rest, it will help although I know how hard that will be as I didn't sleep at all.

Try not to worry, you are in the safest possible place and they will look after you. Make sure you get the pain relief you need, you do not need to be brave.

If you want to ask anything at all, no matter how silly it may sound, ask away, someone in here will know the answer.

Hope the next couple of days are kind to you. I will be thinking of you on Wednesday as I am also in hospital having my d and c that day :'(

 

[majored]

Sorry for this sounding silly, when you give birth do you have to push or does it just all come away?

I dont want to make things worse like bleeding if i push and im not ment to.

Thanks xx

 

[mhazzab]

Sorry for this sounding silly, when you give birth do you have to push or does it just all come away?

I dont want to make things worse like bleeding if i push and im not ment to.

Thanks xx

No question is silly ask away...

I was told just to push when I felt the need. This was my first birth but as far as I know it was just going through the same motions as any other. For me the pushing part didn't take long because the babies were much smaller than full term and came out easily xx

 

[winterwonder]

Sorry for this sounding silly, when you give birth do you have to push or does it just all come away?

I dont want to make things worse like bleeding if i push and im not ment to.

Thanks xx

I know everyone seems to have different experiences but i did have to push my little boy out, and then i suppose if everything goes ok you'll push you placenta out too they usually give that injection in your thigh. And obviously you'll be offered all the usually methods of pain relief, as you dont know how long it will take. On the day i went in, i started contractions around 1 in the afternoon and went in to proper labour at about 10 at night and gave birth at 1.50 in the morning, but everyones different i didnt react well to the medication or the pain relief, which is why they had to keep giving me the meds to dilate your cervix.

I hope that helps.

lots of

 

[SarahJane]

I was told exactly the same. They didn't examine me at all, I just did everything totally naturally and listened to my body. When baby was about to come it felt a bit like when you are desparate for a number 2 (sorry if TMI) You naturally want to push so that's what you do.

Paul was really worried when we went in as we hadn't done any ante natal classes so he asked the midwife how we were supposed to breathe. She replied "in and out"!

 

[Nikki_d72]

Sorry for this sounding silly, when you give birth do you have to push or does it just all come away?

I dont want to make things worse like bleeding if i push and im not ment to.

Thanks xx

Nothing silly in that at all! Ask anything, honestly hon, one of us will have been there or thought it, no matter how strange it may seem to you. Just ask anything.

I think it depends, usually your body will just take over and do it, I was trying like hell not to and my body just took over and pushed them out anyway (but my case was a wee bit different as I knew at least one of them was still alive so I was fighting it, like I said, try not to fight it). If you relax as much as possible you will make it easier for yourself, I know that's hard though. They are skinny wee things at this gestation so they do slip out pretty easily, it's nothing like a full term birth. When I was on bed rest hoping they would stay my cervix was slightly dilated and my Ob told me that if it went even to 4cm the babies could drop out, so you don't have to dilate far. I also had a previous C/Section but did labour to nearly the end so can compare a bit. I'm not sure if you experienced labour before with your other two but it's nothing like it, please try not to worry. My previous C/S made no difference to labouring and delivering this time, as I was asking them that as I had a tear to my uterus last time. Please try not to worry about the technicalities, the medical staff will be with you helping you every step of the way hon. I hope it goes smoothly for you hon, I'll be thinking of you. I would check out the SANDS website too, it is of great help.

All the best, hope to hear from you soon. xxx

 

[OliveBay]

So sorry to hear you are going through this

I lost my baby boy at 22 weeks - he just stopped moving so I went to get checked out and a scan showed he had died. I was induced a couple of days later and was dreading going back into hospital to deliver him a few days after that. By the time I went back in, I actually felt quite calm and strong enough to deal with it. Like I'd got over the initial shock and horror and was ready for that next step. Its amazing where you get your strength from- even now I don't know how on earth we got through it. The contractions did hurt and I wish I'd asked for pain relief earlier, but once my waters broke it was all very quick and just took one small push - like the other ladies said, babies at this stage are so small. Even though it is like a normal delivery in some ways, it is usually quicker and things don't have to stretch as much.

The hospital were great for us and gave us lots of choices about what we wanted after the birth. We chose to see our baby, named him, held him and took lots of pictures of him, including pictures of us holding him. I was expecting to feel horrified by the whole process, but I just felt proud and protective of my little boy.

Just do what is right for you, although you might not know what this is going to be until the time comes. You will get through it. I wish you lots of love and strength at this difficult time

 

[Hellylou]

Sorry for this sounding silly, when you give birth do you have to push or does it just all come away?

I dont want to make things worse like bleeding if i push and im not ment to.

Thanks xx

My heart is breaking for you, hun, it really is.

For me, I wasn't pushing, but just breathing through contractions, which were just like my previous labours, but smaller, because it was such a little bump this time around. I felt something start to emerge and called the nurses, who looked and told me to bear down, and in one small push he was out. They clamped the cord, and I delivered the placenta about an hour later, although that was a little harder to push out.

I'm thinking of you

 

[Vickieh1981]

I am guessing I amtoo late replying if you went in today butwanted to add my support anyway.

There is an increased risk that the placenta will be retained afterwards and this happened for me. I ended up in theatre for a d&c to deliver the placenta but tbh I didn't care by then. I had delivered and seen my little girl and that's all I cared about. The recovery from the D&C was fine

I am so very sorry for your loss. It's not something that any of us should go through

 

[majored]

Sorry for this sounding silly, when you give birth do you have to push or does it just all come away?

I dont want to make things worse like bleeding if i push and im not ment to.

Thanks xx

Nothing silly in that at all! Ask anything, honestly hon, one of us will have been there or thought it, no matter how strange it may seem to you. Just ask anything.

I think it depends, usually your body will just take over and do it, I was trying like hell not to and my body just took over and pushed them out anyway (but my case was a wee bit different as I knew at least one of them was still alive so I was fighting it, like I said, try not to fight it). If you relax as much as possible you will make it easier for yourself, I know that's hard though. They are skinny wee things at this gestation so they do slip out pretty easily, it's nothing like a full term birth. When I was on bed rest hoping they would stay my cervix was slightly dilated and my Ob told me that if it went even to 4cm the babies could drop out, so you don't have to dilate far. I also had a previous C/Section but did labour to nearly the end so can compare a bit. I'm not sure if you experienced labour before with your other two but it's nothing like it, please try not to worry. My previous C/S made no difference to labouring and delivering this time, as I was asking them that as I had a tear to my uterus last time. Please try not to worry about the technicalities, the medical staff will be with you helping you every step of the way hon. I hope it goes smoothly for you hon, I'll be thinking of you. I would check out the SANDS website too, it is of great help.

All the best, hope to hear from you soon. xxx

I did go through labour with both of my other children but only managed to get to 9cm with both and ended up both times having a section. With my son they induced me at 37 weeks and he just didnt want to come out. labour lasted 18 hours before the section. With my daughter it happened faster and within 3 hours i got to 9 cm but it didnt progress, so another section.

The doctor was a bit worried about my scar, which in turn has now me worry.
As i hadnt thought about it to tell you the truth. I would assume it would only become a problem if i got to 10cm which shouldnt be an issue.

Ive asked about an injection to deliver and they said they dont think they will do this as its something that they do later in pregnancy not this early. So slightly worried about that.











Can i ask also afterwards did you bleed alot like you had a bad miscarriage or was it like a period. I was ment to be going to kent this weekend but i dont know if im going to be able to travel. My partner doesnt want me to go.

thanks once again.

xxx

 

[Nikki_d72]

I bled about the same as I did after having DD, it's lochia rather than like a period, so a bit mucousy (sorry TMI) but quite constant and I had cramps as my uterus shrunk back to size but it had 2 in there so wuold have been a lot more distended.

I got to 9cm as well before being sectioned, this time was nothing like it honey. I was in transition before the pain got to me at all and I'm no martyr. Gas and air was sufficient, but I was glad of it and as soon as they were born the pain was over, except for the emotional pain, obviously.

I think they have to keep a bit of an eye on your scar as they are inducing you, but I'm sure they will keep a close eye on you. The lower segment of your uterus (where the scar is, unless you had a classical, vertical C/S?) isn't well developed this early in pregnancy, so wont be contractile anyway, so it shouldn't put any strain on your scar. They weren't worried about mine as I asked the same thing, for this reason, though I wasn't induced. There are lots of women who are able to have full term vaginal births after 2 C/S's as well, please try not to worry hon. xx

 

[Nikki_d72]

P.S you do what feels right for you but I doubt very much you'll feel like travelling to Kent, I would keep my options open regarding that one. xxx

 

[SarahJane]

My bleeding wasn't too bad, it lasted 2 weeks and was just a bit like a period. I was fine to do things slowly straight away although I got a bit frustrated that I was to sore to do things like housework etc. I ended up buying a lightweight hoover as I was so peed off!

If you feel up to travelling mentally then you certainly should be ok to go physically. I forced myself to do things instantly straight after loss. I was scared of allowing myself to get depressed as I have suffered from depression before. I therefore just got on with life, got a haircut, went shopping and did everything to meet every single person I knew so I didn't ever have to face someone who would feel awkward.

It is a very personal thing though, I have a friend who barely left the house after her loss and that worked for her.

As others have said, you shouldn't need to dliate that much. I loved giving birth to Evelyn, it was a wonderful experience.

 

[Bride2b]

Just wanted to show my support like the other ladies. This was my first pregnancy so I had no idea of what labour was going to be like and I didnt have time to think about it really as everything happened so suddenly. All I will say is that its not put me off having more children & having Bertie has given me strength to go on and not be fearful of child birth. I know he was small so it was easy to push him out (only very slight pushes) and also small pushes for the placenta. I dont know much about c-sections, but others on here have some experience.

With regards to the bleeding mine was heavy for at least a week. Its now much lighter (2 weeks on). I felt very light headed and very weak for at least a week afterwards. I still feel very tired. If you feel like travelling then go for it, but dont expect much from yourself as your feelings might change.

Hope all goes as well as it can tomorrow, will be thinking of you.xx

 

[Nikki_d72]

Just thinking of you just now, I know you may already be on your way to hospital but I wanted to wish you well and let you know I'm thinking of you. xxx

 

[Vickieh1981]

I didn;t bleed too badly after but it went on for a long time. Quite a few weeks.

 

[babylou]

I am so sorry about your loss.

I had the tablet a couple of days before as you have done, and pesseries to kick start contractions. I delivered Samuel at 15/16 weeks, and it was nothing like the pain of delivering full term. I hardly felt the contractions, although I knew they were happening. However, I failed to deliver the placenta so had to go for the D & C, but to be honest, I was ready for that, after everything else it wasn't a big thing. (And I am a bit of a scaredy when it comes to yukky stuff).

My thoughts are with you

Take care xxx

 

[Bride2b]

Thinking of you today hun xxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

I had Ava on March 3rd I bled for about 2 weeks and got my AF on April 10th, it was heavy but short, only 3 days . Just know you are in my prayers and I am thinking of you. I am just so deeply sorry this is happening