2 boys :(

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by craquinette, Mar 21, 2017.

  1. craquinette

    craquinette Expecting #3

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    It looks like I'm far from the only one in this situation.... I have a little boy already, and found out last week I'm having another one.
    I'm devastated.
    Growing up, I wasn't even sure I wanted kids but always said "if I have a child, I really really hope it's a girl".
    I only changed my mind about boys a few years ago when my nephew was born, I thought "actually boys may not be that bad after all".
    When I was pregnant with my first, we kept it a surprise, and I didn't really mind either way because we wanted more than one child, and so I thought that if it was a boy, I would still have a chance to have a girl for the second one. And I actually liked the idea of the oldest being a boy. So even if I was sligthly disappointed when he was born, that didn't last at all.
    However, now that I know I'm having 2 boys, I feel completely lost. I never ever pictured myself with two boys. I always felt bad for my friends who had 2 boys (and I still do, except now I'll be one of them too...).
    I cried all week-end feeling sorry for myself.
    I wasn't even interested in my 18 month old, looking at him just made me cry even more thinking I'll have 2 boys soon.
    I feel horribly guilty to be that way. I have loved my boy so much since the day he was born, but now I actually feel completely disconnected. And that scares me. What if it doesn't come back? What if I never bond with the second one?
    I knew I would be disappointed if it was a boy (and that's why I wanted to know before the birth, so I would have time to get used to the idea) but never thought it would be that bad....
     
  2. Jessicahide

    Jessicahide Well-Known Member

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    I don't know what to say, sending hugs!
     
  3. kat132

    kat132 3 boys

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    I felt the same as you. Exactly the same and I did for a while until he was born. Then everything changed.... All I wanted to know was if he was ok, then I wanted to hold him. Since then my love for my 2nd son has become stronger than I ever imagined. He is my sunshine everyday, he makes me smile, tells me he loves me, cuddles me all the time and misses me so much when I am gone. I honestly couldn't imagine having a girl now. My boys are best friends and always want to be with me.
    It sucks feeling the way you do I know but it will get better I promise. I am not going to say that you will not feel the need for a girl (i still do at times) but you will love your boy so much. I am pregnant with my 3rd and I am leaning towards wanting a girl obviously but another boy would be great. I am the queen of my house and have 3 boys atm who worship the ground I walk on.
     
  4. craquinette

    craquinette Expecting #3

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    Thanks a lot for your reply. I really hope it will all be ok once he is born. I'm trying to find a name so that it feels more real and I can call him by his name instead of just "baby2".
    Your last sentence about being the queen of your house made me smile :) Until now I only thought about being the odd one, a bit excluded from all the boys but I like the idea of the queen of the house haha. Thanks for that :)
     
  5. Johnsa37

    Johnsa37 Well-Known Member

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    I just wanted to say that I am in the same boat as you! I never imagined being a mom of two boys... and I still can't quite believe it. I think people feel "bad" for us boy moms. I will never quite understand why those who have 1 boy and 1 girl have a "complete family" -- like they won the genetic lottery or something. It makes me sad when people make comments like, "oh well at least the 2 boys will be best friends" or "well I guess that means you will have to try for a girl!" Sure makes me feel like shit....

    Anyways, I just wanted to share that I feel the same exact way and that I cried for almost 3 days straight when I found out that #2 was going to be a boy. I am now feeling much better about it, but still coming to terms with the fact that I may never have that girl. I hope that by now you are feeling much better about it, and maybe even have the little boy in your arms! :cloud9:
     
  6. WackyMumof2

    WackyMumof2 Well-Known Member

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    DS1 I wanted a boy. But I always wanted 2 boys and 1 girl - in that order. So when DS2 arrived I struggled for a long time even though that was what I wanted as a younger sister would always have someone to look out for her. Then when I was pregnant with DS3, I WANTED a boy so I didn't feel the disappointment I felt with DS2. I can't believe I ever felt like that. Now we are in week 16 with #4 and they are certain we have our girl so she will be very well protected. Lol. But even if they were wrong and #4 is a boy, he isn't going to be any less loved at all. It just means all the pink I've been buying will go away until our eldest has his first daughter - which hopefully won't be for another 15 years at least! :rofl: There is always a positive no matter how you look at it. :) My best friend has a girl and both my sisters do too so I LOVE shopping for Birthdays and Christmas. :) The boys are just hard. :haha:
     
  7. Koifish

    Koifish Well-Known Member

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    I have twin boys and they were supposed to be my only kids (not the case but that's a different story). Anyways I was so upset that I was a mom with two boys and wouldn't have a girl. It took a bit but I eventually connected with them and now I think I'd be upset if they were girls. I love boys there's so much to them that I never thought of and there cuddly, mommy boys which imo is the best. I include them in everything and honestly cat and jack plus Disney has so much cute stuff I still enjoy shopping for them. It's nice having two little protectors who think the world of you. All of your feelings are completely valid and you absolutely need time to mourn the loss of not having a girl but I am sure once he's in your arms, he has a name you'll be in love. Boys are awesome:)
     
  8. Im a mummy of 2 boys - we didn't find out the gender and kept it a surprise and throughout the whole time all i could think of was "pls be a girl, pls be a girl" the thought of another boy really scared me - we didnt agree on any names, didnt like any clothes, yet had everything planned in my head if it was a girl but I literally didnt let this on to anyone...

    When he was born, I sobbed so hard because I was so happy! Happy that he was so perfect and healthy. I would never change my boys for anyone (even though I have always wanted a girl growing up).

    The minute you will see his little face and him staring up at you, everything will change! Having 2 boys has been a blessing, they are the best of friends!

    Sending you hugs x
     

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