2 years and counting -- LTTTC

[Moondance]

I spend my life with depression, as I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Had some pretty awful things happen to me in my childhood and they kind of messed me up.

 

[phoenixrose]

I spend my life with depression, as I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Had some pretty awful things happen to me in my childhood and they kind of messed me up.

Sorry to hear that! At least you're aware of it and not in denial. That's a major step. I'm sure it's nothing compared to what have been through, but I didn't have the best childhood either. For me though, I think it was more when I was a little older though, 11+. I had a lot to work through, my DH helped me to get over a lot of it. That's one reason why I love him so much, I don't know who I'd be if I hadn't met him. I actually don't speak to my mother anymore cause she's a witch of a person and that's where all my issues came from. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt but at one point 2 years ago it was just the final straw and I haven't spoke to her since.

 

[Moondance]

Mine was mostly a lot of cases that involved sexual interference... at 8 years old, again at 11 years old repeatedly for a year... and was also raped by a supposed friend when i was 19. I've grown up with some really insane ideas about sex.
My mother caught me once looking at my downstairs parts in the mirror when I was 12, she beat the crap out of me, calling me a dirty slut, a filthy whore, etc etc... so grew up thinking anything sexual was bad, dirty and wrong.




And ignoring my hairy armpits....

https://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/400310_2623879312626_1124535455_32267576_398353262_n.jpg

I seriously do NOT believe its ringworm. Looks nothing like any ringworm I've ever seen. One day I didn't have it, the next my entire torso and the insides of both arms were covered in red dots and splodges.

 

[phoenixrose]

Like I said I was sure it was nothing compared to you. My sister was molested as a child by our uncle. She actually blamed me for years, because she thought that it was happening to me and that I didn't say anything. But the truth was he saw her as younger and weaker. Finally now we are closer and actually have a relationship. So sorry to hear those things happened to you when you were younger. It's amazing and unfortunate how the things that happen to us when we were younger can screw us up well into adulthood and possibly for the rest of our lives.

I'm sure you/ve googled it already too but that doesn't look like ringworm at all! The reason it's called ringworm is because it looks like a ring, and the ring gets progressively bigger. Is it flat or raised? If it's flat it's called a macular rash, if it's raised it's called a papular rash. It doesn't quite look like hives either. The closest thing I could find was a rash cause by medication but that one covered more of the body. Your not taking any meds are you? Even something as simple as Advil? I think you definitely need a second opinion.

 

[Moondance]

Booking another appointment with GP tomorrow about it.
Its slightly raised, and they itch like crazy and every single one of those spots goes flaky and dry. When I was scratching one on my belly, it bled.

Not on any meds, no. sometimes I take aspirin for headaches, but thats ALL I've taken and I've taken it for a very long time, as its the only headache drug that works for me. Paracetamol does nothing for my headaches.
But now, the rash has been accompanied by diarrhoea for the past two nights in a row (both nights, it began at 3:45am). I didn't eat the same meal both nights, so I don't get what it is. And I also have a swollen gland in my throat. So I'm not real happy.
Either way, til I suss out what the hell my body is doing, not going near DP, I don't want him catching any of it. Not sleeping in the same bed, nothing.

 

[phoenixrose]

You poor thing! I hope you get it sorted soon!

 

[Moondance]

Me too. I really really do. I am hating life at the moment.

Wanna go be with my man and get massive amounts of cuddles and love.

 

[Moondance]

Hi!!!!!! :wave: I can't believe nobody has replied to your thread yet!!

Time Spent TTC: 15 months

And you're THERE now, judging by your ticker!!! Congrats Sandra!!!!!

 

[Moondance]

My fingers are crossed so hard I think they may just embed into each other.
Today, 10 dpo, had a big temp spike, which is kinda cool. Last night, it was actually a very cold night here, it had been raining all day and I felt cold. I went to bed, covered myself up with my usual blankets and felt incredibly warm, then felt a little queasy in the stomach. And right now feeling the same way.
Not sure if it means anything, but also having minor cramps down in the area of my cervix.

I am keeping my fingers crossed. The sex timing wasn't optimal, but I'm hoping anyway.

(If you DO look at my chart, temps on the Friday and Saturday around O are just fake temps, because I didn't temp on those days for some reason I cannot fathom, but I am positive I ovulated on either friday or saturday, because by Sunday, my boobs were sore, and that ONLY ONLY ever happens after I've o'd. So I chucked in some random temps that would show me as ovulating on that day. But I'm working on the basis of knowing my body well enough to know when I have and haven't O'd, just didn't have the real temps to back me up on it).

But right now, my chart is looking pretty cool I think. Gosh I hope this is it, I really hope this is the one! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[phoenixrose]

Sounds promising! I'm with you, I have everything crossed as well, even my eyes once in a while as I'm 11dpo after taking Follistim injections this month. So not looking forward to that next cycle if I get a BFN! I also have high temps for the last 3 days, but with multiple follicles and therefore multiple corpus luteums I don't know how that might affect temps. I have a few symptoms but like any pg symptoms they could be explained away by something else so I'm trying to not be to hopeful. I have my beta test on Thursday. Fx'd for both of us!

 

[Moondance]

absolutely fingers crossed!
Today I had the weirdest thing happen. was.sitting down and it felt like all the blood from my head drained down to my tummy. felt dizzy and strange. odd.