2014 October Rainbows (late Septembers welcome!) (13 babies born!)

[Jallia]

Still waiting on ultrasound results but the tech wouldn't say much, but she didn't seem particularly concerned so I'm not too worried either. I got to see our little man wiggling around and heard a nice, strong heartbeat as well. Someone should be getting in touch with me tomorrow from my midwife's office so I'll know for sure then.

 

[whigfield]

Glad you got to see him wriggling and a heartbeat.

 

[whigfield]

I feel very selfish at the moment. Someone who was due the same time as me last time is pregnant again with her second and I just feel really cut up about it. I don't even know why. I mean, I'm pregnant myself.. Finn looks to be doing good, there doesn't appear to be any issues... Why am I so bothered?

 

[CastawayBride]

I feel very selfish at the moment. Someone who was due the same time as me last time is pregnant again with her second and I just feel really cut up about it. I don't even know why. I mean, I'm pregnant myself.. Finn looks to be doing good, there doesn't appear to be any issues... Why am I so bothered?

I hear you! Even worse when people tell me Oh your first baby...even my own mother saying this crap. I am like my oldest is in heaven thank you.

Just beats me up we would be done with pregnancy at this point. I want a baby not a pregnancy, after what I went through I am silently enduring this with a smile for everyone as they will never understand.

 

[whigfield]

Trying to think about something to do for Angel's 1st birthday in heaven next Tuesday. Unsure if we should even do anything, either. It's so odd. Everyone told me "oh when you're pregnant again it won't hurt as much" but it still hurts. I don't love this baby any more or any less than the last - I love them equally. But they're different babies, and I just feel sad I can't have them both (much less any of the other earlier losses).

When people ask if it's my first, I say it's my 4th pregnancy, but yes, my first live baby. They get it pretty quick after that.

 

[CastawayBride]

Trying to think about something to do for Angel's 1st birthday in heaven next Tuesday. Unsure if we should even do anything, either. It's so odd. Everyone told me "oh when you're pregnant again it won't hurt as much" but it still hurts. I don't love this baby any more or any less than the last - I love them equally. But they're different babies, and I just feel sad I can't have them both (much less any of the other earlier losses).

When people ask if it's my first, I say it's my 4th pregnancy, but yes, my first live baby. They get it pretty quick after that.

I gave birth to a baby not a fetus and I think it stings when people deny his little life.

I had to plan a funeral and say good bye and thrn my mother has the audacity to tell me well if you say this is your first you don't have to explain yourself.

Bite me.

Sorry but this riles me up.

I think that's why I just don't fit in with the oh I am so excited. I try, I defintely give it the good old college try but all I keep thinking is I want this baby in my arms now. I will never, ever say I have 1...it will always be 2, our oldest is in Heaven. I don't care who is uncomfortable by me saying that.

Thrn hubby is already talking about when we can do this again! I am like let me get through this I am hanging on barely by a thread!

 

[Krippy]

Hi Ladies...I hope that you are all doing well! I haven't been on BnB much with work, toddler and growing bean but I just wanted to let you all know that I come a check up on you all the time. Just wanted to share something I wrote not long ago...Much love to you all.

https://birthkelowna.ca/2014/06/am-i-a-mother/

 

[AllStar]

I was only 7 weeks along when we had our miscarriage but this baby in no way replaces that little one and even though it wouldn't be possible I wish I could have both. I wonder almost daily what he/she would have looked like and their personality. He/she was due on 13th august and as that date gets closer I'm struggling more. I want to do something to mark the date but I'm not sure what yet. I haven't enjoyed this pregnancy like I have the others at all, I feel like I'm wishing time away but I truly just want him here in my arms. I can't imagine how you ladies feel with later losses and I'm sorry for your mums hurtful comments castaway. I'm lucky my family are very understanding.

Sending hugs Whigfield, you're not selfish at all

I pray we all have our happy, healthy babies in our arms in just a few more months.

 

[whigfield]

Sorry about your mom too, Castaway. I know mine can be thoughtless sometimes as well. I do snap at her for it if she says something like that though, but we're a pretty open family, so she quickly apologizes.

On Angel's due date we released some balloons over a field and just watched them all go up and up and up until they disappeared. It was pretty therapeutic for us.

You're right though, Allstar. It's just a couple more months and we'll have these babies. We're all so near to getting out of 2nd tri already!

 

[3Minions]

Hugs you guys struggling and surrounded by boneheads right now.

Krippy, I didn't know you were in Kelowna. I'm in Edmonton And your post was really beautiful.

 

[3Minions]

And for any of the girls in Canada, I just found a great way to save some money on stuff....
1. Go through ebates.ca to shop.ca (you get 15% cash back on your purchases)
2. Go to retailmenot.ca and get a $10 or $15 off code for shop.ca
3. If you buy something over $100 on shop.ca before the end of the month and currently have a paypal account and you pay with paypal, paypal will deduct $25 off your purchase price.
Shop.ca will show a different price than paypal after it's all said and done, but you pay what paypal says. I bought a booster seat for $157.50 with tax and ended up paying $94 for it.

 

[Radiance]

Hey everyone! I haven't been on for awhile and wanted to check on you all. I'm happy to see everyone and all the rainbows seem to be doing well.

 

[Laelani]

I find people are just very insensitive or very uneducated when it comes to people's miscarriages and a lot don't treat them like "real" pregnancies. They are very real and leave very real scars, aches, pains, and memories. I understand those of you who get riled up or upset because I'm the exact same! I'm the same when people ask if it's our first I say that it will be our first born baby but not the first pregnancy. As was said earlier people get the hint really fast. Hope you are all doing well and I hope you all aren't like me and melting in the summer heat. Though let's be honest it took so long to get here I'm definitely NOT complaining that it's here.

 

[whigfield]

Hey Radiance, thank you for checking in on us. Hope you're doing okay.

Haha, Laelani - we don't have much of a summer in the UK here right now! Not that I'm complaining. If it doesn't get really hot here this year that suits me juuuust fine.

Also.. Eeek. 3rd tri in 2 days.

 

[CastawayBride]

I find people are just very insensitive or very uneducated when it comes to people's miscarriages and a lot don't treat them like "real" pregnancies. They are very real and leave very real scars, aches, pains, and memories. I understand those of you who get riled up or upset because I'm the exact same! I'm the same when people ask if it's our first I say that it will be our first born baby but not the first pregnancy. As was said earlier people get the hint really fast. Hope you are all doing well and I hope you all aren't like me and melting in the summer heat. Though let's be honest it took so long to get here I'm definitely NOT complaining that it's here.

I totally get it. Then when I have to explain I did not have a miscarriage I lost a baby they look at me all confused. My mother feels its best to not correct people but I think it is important, I mean, people don't realize everything and they really should be educated on it all.

After I lost my son then had a miscarriage I was devastated all over again. My husband is moving on but I just want the pregnancy to move on faster. I worry everyday, especially when LO has hiccups. I will never feel safe and look forward to getting out of work early. At least I won't be miserable at work even if I do it in secret. lol There are two girls getting ready to pop next month and I am like trying my best to pretend to be so excited, etc. but those who really know me totally know I am faking it!

 

[CastawayBride]

I realize I have been quite a debbie downer lately.

Son's birthday is July 18th and it will be our first. I am dreading it...miss him terribly and feel guilty he is not here. Still.

Sorry all!

 

[Krippy]

Make a wonderful first birthday cake for him and eat it all! That is what I have done the last 2 years and will be doing the exact same thing this September. It doesn't take away the bitterness or the sadness but it makes me feel better that I celebrate it every year however I see fit. Hugs to you all...

 

[Laelani]

Hey Radiance, thank you for checking in on us. Hope you're doing okay.

Haha, Laelani - we don't have much of a summer in the UK here right now! Not that I'm complaining. If it doesn't get really hot here this year that suits me juuuust fine.

Also.. Eeek. 3rd tri in 2 days.

Normally we start getting the warmer temps in May but this year it seems all the weather is a month later coming than normal.

I find people are just very insensitive or very uneducated when it comes to people's miscarriages and a lot don't treat them like "real" pregnancies. They are very real and leave very real scars, aches, pains, and memories. I understand those of you who get riled up or upset because I'm the exact same! I'm the same when people ask if it's our first I say that it will be our first born baby but not the first pregnancy. As was said earlier people get the hint really fast. Hope you are all doing well and I hope you all aren't like me and melting in the summer heat. Though let's be honest it took so long to get here I'm definitely NOT complaining that it's here.

I totally get it. Then when I have to explain I did not have a miscarriage I lost a baby they look at me all confused. My mother feels its best to not correct people but I think it is important, I mean, people don't realize everything and they really should be educated on it all.

After I lost my son then had a miscarriage I was devastated all over again. My husband is moving on but I just want the pregnancy to move on faster. I worry everyday, especially when LO has hiccups. I will never feel safe and look forward to getting out of work early. At least I won't be miserable at work even if I do it in secret. lol There are two girls getting ready to pop next month and I am like trying my best to pretend to be so excited, etc. but those who really know me totally know I am faking it!

Yep it's crazy how people are around this whole thing. For me I agree with you to have this pregnancy move on quickly. I have been a stress mess in my head about the whole thing. Now that we are at almost third trimester and his chances of survivability on his own if born now is good I still worry. After a miscarriage it's hard not to....no matter when it happened or how many times it happened or even how long ago.

 

[Jallia]

Yep it's crazy how people are around this whole thing. For me I agree with you to have this pregnancy move on quickly. I have been a stress mess in my head about the whole thing. Now that we are at almost third trimester and his chances of survivability on his own if born now is good I still worry. After a miscarriage it's hard not to....no matter when it happened or how many times it happened or even how long ago.

This is exactly how I feel as well! Both of our previous losses were early but that doesn't change the fact that there was a living human being growing inside me and he or she isn't here with us today. I think friends and family downplay the whole thing in order to try to make it easier to deal with. My mom especially has said more than once "Well, I had a miscarriage too you know!". As if her having had one makes things any better...this guy is growing well and it's comforting to feel him moving around, but I will still worry, and this really can't be helped!

 

[Jallia]

Hi Radiance! Big hugs to you and thanks for checking in on us. You're so sweet