- 2015 JUNE BUGS - Join Us!

[NDH]

Good luck for your scan, radiance!!

I'm slowly but surely getting more symptoms now. Boobs are sore, more like a dull pain, but it feels exactly like it did when I was breastfeeding and they were getting a bit engorged.
By the way, for our FTMs: if you're wanting to breastfeed, please make sure you know what to expect, especially the first few weeks. So many times you read stories of women who couldn't breastfeed, because they didn't have enough support and didn't know what's normal and what isn't and how to fix it if something was wrong. There's a few different phone numbers in every country, that you can call 24/7 for advice, la leche league is pretty international I think, then in the UK we have the NCT, and I think there may be an NHS one, too...and there'll be equivalents in other countries. HVs and midwives can also put you in touch with lactation consultants, and it's a good idea to ask for a meeting with one before and just after your baby is born. ANYWAY...

I'm feeling really emotional lately, too. I almost cried last night because netflix didn't have a film I wanted to watch. Stupid netflix. I've also gone off my food a bit, not quite nauseous, just no appetite...which again is a good thing because I tend to overeat under normal circumstances. Right now I'm tucked up in bed with a cup of coffee, enjoying some time to myself before my 2 year old demands my attention again.

Hope everyone is well!

Hi, I just wanted to bring out another perspective to this - I have insufficient glandular tissue and I will not be able to breastfeed and it's not the end of the world. It's also not that rare, I have several friends with the same condition. No matter how you feed your child, whether you choose to breastfeed or to formula feed (or in some cases you don't have a choice like mine) your baby will be FINE and LOVED. I will enjoy the positive aspects, such as DH being able to be more hands-on from the very beginning I am also trying to find out ways I can make complaints/sue the hospital, because here all the government hospitals follow something called a baby friendly policy and I don't know how they will treat me but I've heard some horror stories and I will have none of it.

I have two friends with IGT - one who still managed to breastfeed her last two babies for over a year, supplementing with donated breast milk (she did produce significantly more milk with each baby), and the other tried to continue breastfeeding for a couple weeks I think before going to full time bottles.

I guess I can't speak for Finland, but baby friendly hospitals can't prevent a woman fro!mfrom bringing formula and bottles. You can out a sign on your door saying "I am bottle feeding, do not harass me about it". However, you may still wish to breastfeed for the first 2-3 days as you'll still produce colostrum - babies only drink 5ml of colostrum at a time and its full of goodness

 

[NDH]

Ladies have any of you not told your oh yet. He knows theres a chance i am as i am late but he doesnt know ive had a bfp, i wanted to wait until my test got darker. Any suggestions for a good way to tell him?

My dh always has to be the first to know. The first time I had planned to leave a digi saying "pregnant" on the bathroom counter while he showered, but I didn't have any digis when I found out and I couldn't wait (having been ttc for over two years) so ended up running crying to him waving a wet pee stick second time in found out while he was at work and I just texted him that Sara was going to be a big sister.
This time, he had asked me the other day if I was pregnant and I said "no, at least not that I know of". So when I got my bfp I just went and woke him up and said "so you asked me a question the other day and I said no, but it turns out the answer is yes" and then I just left the room. He came out half an hour later with a big grin asking how I felt about #3.

Kit and Poys - good luck I hope the bleeding/spotting stops and you have reassuring scans.

 

[Radiance]

Scan update!!

From what we saw, all looks well . My lining was really thick, my cervix looks long but he couldn't accurately measure it right now and we saw a small sac :thumbsup: There was a lot of fluid around my left ovary, he said that was ok and that when my egg released it popped the cyst. So I go back for another scan in two weeks to see baby and heartbeat

I'll update more when I get home.

 

[NDH]

Oh on the subject of having proper education and support, however you intend to give birth, I advise birth education/preparation classes (not through a hospital). At the very least educate yourselves online. Labour is called Labour for a reason, and you wouldn't just show up to run a marathon without preparing for it.

If you want a natural birth, I cannot more highly advise getting a doula (seriously, theyre amazing)

If you dont want a natural birth thats totally your decision (I'm a natural birth advocate, but more importantly I'm an advocate of informed birth choice ) but I still suggest reading up on the evidence based practices surrounding your chosen birth type to ensure the best possible outcomes.

So many women take a backseat in their pregnancy and birth, expecting the experts to know what is best, but many drs dont practice evidence based care and just continue doing things the way they've always done them, even with.

Learn your rights when it comes to pregnancy and birth. Find a practitioner whose practice lines up with your desires, and dont be afraid to change practitioners at any stage if you see any red flags - even at full term! If you dont know what kind of birth you hope to have, look up birth plan templates that have yes/no tick boxes for heaps of options, and then read up on each of those options. For example, active labour, episiotomies, methods of induction, delayed cord clamping, skin to skin, gentle cesarean and seeding with vaginal flora. Some you really might not care about and others you'll discover you feel really strongly about one way or another.

Sorry for the long essay, it's just a subject I'm really passionate about . birth matters (check out the documentary microbirth if youre interested in how a baby is born can affect the whole rest of their life) and PTSD from birth trauma is on the rise and education is one way to help reduce it.

Thank you so much for your advice! It really helps and I really think it is important to know what you want too. My sister had researched a lot if things but not the birth. She just expected to go to hospital to be there a few hours and come out with a baby. The lady giving birth in the room next to her had to be rushed for a c-section too and lost the baby. My sister hadn't thought of what to ask and what to say when they decided to induce her (In retrospect she doesn't think they needed to meddle).

Anyway that taught me that I needed to know exactly what I wanted/didn't want when the time came. Allowing me to make informed choices rather than just go along with what the medical professionals decide is best.

In Japan usually you book a day to come in, then come to the hospital on that day and they induce you! I don't want any if that, I'd prefer a natural birth as much as possible. Apparently it is also very common to do episotomies and I also don't want that.

I think looking at some birth plan templates will help me immensely! Thanks!

Wow thats crazy that its just a given that everyone is just given an induction date arbitrarily! Try to put your foot down about it if there isn't a medical reason. Induction has a high chance of leading to a cascade of intervention that can result in a cesarean that likely would have otherwise been avoided, like seems to have been your sisters experience.

Not that cesareans don't have their place as a life saving procedure, and elective cesareans can be a valid choice, but too often they can be avoided just by not meddling and letting baby come when ready.
Its important to remember that term is 38-42 weeks is term so some babies can be born at 42 weeks still with loads of vernix while other babies can be born at 38 weeks with signs of being overdue

 

[sengland]

Hi ladies

Man, so much talk about birth. I am just getting over the shock of a bfp at 9dpo (a week ago, although this was planned lol) so I cannot even start to think that far down the road yet!!

I am also having cramping for the past couple days, whenever I move around. No spotting though. I don't go for a scan until the 28th and I have called my dr this week to ask for a beta but she hadn't called me back, luckily I work in a hospital and one of the doctors I work with agreed to order one for me to ease my anxiety, and it was 138.1 at 14-15dpo. Technically I am 5 weeks today but I didn't O until like CD 20, so I am really only 4 weeks today when I adjust my cycle. Praying it sticks I am SO scared!

My other symptoms are really achy bbs and fatigue (that just started today, though) and I am SO bloated I look like I'm about 6 months along! I can't stop poas either, even though they have been definitely positive for a whole week now lol.

Sorry to just talk about myself, I just couldn't get into the birth convo but wanted to jump in because I haven't been on in a week

 

[treeroot]

Congrats sengland and welcome!

What's your expected due date? Shilo can add it to the front

 

[trying4babies]

Hey all im also jumping in here too.... due around 9/10th june 2015..
been trying to conceive for over 5yrs finally got our bfp 10 days past our 6 day transfer.. an icsi baby soooo happy

 

[LornaMJ]

Hi Trying4babies ours is also an IVF ICSI baby and we are due June 10th

 

[zaycain]

Welcome new bumps! Exciting times for all of us!

I'm officially 5 weeks today! Still in complete disbelief.

Cramps cramps cramps! I feel like I am 3 months pregnant already.

 

[Nikoru0111]

Radience! I'm so happy for you! Seemed like a long time since you posted so I was starting to get worried. Glad it's okay so far!

I've just decided that since this is my first ever pregnancy, I'm just going to let myself be excited, tell people, plan things etc as I have no reason to believe it could be otherwise. I think if I start down the path of worrying, I'll worry like crazy, so thinking positive is probably going to be best for me. If (and I pray to the gods it doesn't) anything goes wrong then I guess next time I'll allow myself to worry a little more but for now, I guess I'll just try to enjoy and think of lovely things.

Since my BFP wasn't exactly planned, in the early days when I realised I could be pregnant (beginning of the 2ww) I stopped drinking alcohol and coffee and panicked to some of my friends a little. Mainly because I thought I probably wouldn't be but there was a slight chance.

Now they are starting to ask me about it and I don't want to lie but not sure I should tell them yet. At the moment I'm skipping going out with them in case they ask me why I'm not drinking. They know my period should be due by now and if I tell them I got it, it's a lie and if I say I didn't they'll ask me if I took a test and then I'll be lying again lol...as you can tell...I don't particularly like lying.

What would you do?

 

[treeroot]

Scan update!!

From what we saw, all looks well . My lining was really thick, my cervix looks long but he couldn't accurately measure it right now and we saw a small sac :thumbsup: There was a lot of fluid around my left ovary, he said that was ok and that when my egg released it popped the cyst. So I go back for another scan in two weeks to see baby and heartbeat

I'll update more when I get home.

Yeah! So glad everything went well

Hey all im also jumping in here too.... due around 9/10th june 2015..
been trying to conceive for over 5yrs finally got our bfp 10 days past our 6 day transfer.. an icsi baby soooo happy

Congrats! That's a log haul, you must be over the moon

 

[NDH]

Welcome newcomers - I always get so excited to read about LTTTCers moving into the pregnancy forums .

Hmm thats a tricky one, I've never been in such a position before. I know people have used new medications etc as an excuse not to drink, but friends knowing youre probably pregnant and probably asking you about it will complicate matters. You could just say it's inconclusive and try to skirt the issue? Or just say that it turns out you've got a parasite (not entirely a lie cause babies share a lot of similarities with parasites I hope no one is offended by that :/). But in all seriousness, I hope someone else has a good suggestion how to handle it. I'm not even sure how to handle it if my mom asks if I'm pregnant cause she has this weird ability to tell. We've always told within a xouplemlfndays and are hoping to keep it just between us for a few weeks this time.

 

[Radiance]

Radience! I'm so happy for you! Seemed like a long time since you posted so I was starting to get worried. Glad it's okay so far!

I've just decided that since this is my first ever pregnancy, I'm just going to let myself be excited, tell people, plan things etc as I have no reason to believe it could be otherwise. I think if I start down the path of worrying, I'll worry like crazy, so thinking positive is probably going to be best for me. If (and I pray to the gods it doesn't) anything goes wrong then I guess next time I'll allow myself to worry a little more but for now, I guess I'll just try to enjoy and think of lovely things.

Since my BFP wasn't exactly planned, in the early days when I realised I could be pregnant (beginning of the 2ww) I stopped drinking alcohol and coffee and panicked to some of my friends a little. Mainly because I thought I probably wouldn't be but there was a slight chance.

Now they are starting to ask me about it and I don't want to lie but not sure I should tell them yet. At the moment I'm skipping going out with them in case they ask me why I'm not drinking. They know my period should be due by now and if I tell them I got it, it's a lie and if I say I didn't they'll ask me if I took a test and then I'll be lying again lol...as you can tell...I don't particularly like lying.

What would you do?

I can't lie about being pregnant. As in if someone close asked if I was, I couldn't say "No, I'm not" I feel that would "jinx" myself or cause more harm. If I'm not ready to share, I come up with something else where I am not exactly saying, No, I'm not pregnant. I however am also trying to wait. We've...my husband, kids, family and friends have all gone through so much this year that I don't want them to tense and be pained right when I tell them. I have told a few though... my mom, my kids do know as well, and about six friends. I want to give some time and focus on the now. Mostly peaceful I don't think there''s a right or wrong time. It's 100% up to when you and your partner feel ready.

I tend to get really anxious before scans so I tried to keep really busy last night and this morning! I ended up waiting a little over an hour for the scan. That was hard!!!

 

[zaycain]

Now they are starting to ask me about it and I don't want to lie but not sure I should tell them yet. At the moment I'm skipping going out with them in case they ask me why I'm not drinking. They know my period should be due by now and if I tell them I got it, it's a lie and if I say I didn't they'll ask me if I took a test and then I'll be lying again lol...as you can tell...I don't particularly like lying.

What would you do?

I usually say lie about it. It's nobody's business until you are ready to discuss it. I am lying my pants off at the moment to all my family and friends. I am not ready to discuss it yet with people that know me and that's my prerogative. Good friends will understand if you weren't comfortable talking about it in the danger zone. Just come clean when you do spill the beans.

On the other hand, because you confided in them early on I would probably be honest. They were good enough to be there for you when you needed a friend.

That's my opinion though. People handle it differently. I'm all about the lie, because I have had a lot of friends that didn't tell me because.. they weren't ready to and I was ok with that!

**I should note I am not ready to discuss it cause I don't believe it myself. I am constantly talking about it with my DH and I'm on the boards a lot so I can start getting used to the fact that this is real. Hasn't hit me yet, despite my efforts!

 

[poysenivye]

I have been skirting around the issue or I'm just flat out truthful, which they take As full on sarcasm the way I say it. "Why can you do it? Are you knocked up?" And I say "yeah, I'm knocked up, obviously". They laugh and go about their business. Truthful without divulging...win win.

 

[Nikoru0111]

Thanks ladies! I think I diverted the conversation last time by saying I hadn't got my period yet which was true. Then they said "ah that's normal after coming off the pill" so I think I might have given myself a little bit of time but I think the next time they ask I might just tell them. They are relatively new friends but I've become quite close to them due to us being expats in Japan and they have helped me through the difficult time of settling in. One of them opened up to me and another girl a few days ago and I think that made us even closer so I definately don't feel comfortable lying.

At the moment we have only told my OHs parents, my sister, my BFF and my husbands close friend. I want to tell my parents but it has to be over Skype as they live in the UK and I asked to speak to them but the earliest they are free is Tuesday...I didn't want to worry them by saying it's important. So I guess I have to just wait.

 

[poysenivye]

*can't

 

[NDH]

Another diversion "what do you mean am I pregnant? Do you think I'm getting fat? Are you calling me fat!?" Neither confirmation or denial lol.

 

[LornaMJ]

This time around we have told most people especially in my line work as it has been easier and they have been very supportive given my history. I just want to approach things very differently this time round. My last 2 pregnancies (miscarried) we told no one and it was a little difficult not telling anyone but you seem to just find excuses to get out of things.

 

[30mummyof1]

My dh was there when I tested! But we haven't told anyone yet. All my friends knew we were going to try after the wedding so have been questioning me since June!
A good way of putting people off the scent is to talk about future nights out i found before or you were out Friday night etc.. They presume that means you were drinking then and therefore not pregnant!
We will tell parents in a week or so and couple of close friends I think.