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Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by motherofboys, Feb 12, 2021.
Thank you both
Hey ladies, I'd like to join you. I already have 3 boys and suffered pretty badly last time with GD as I thought he would be our last. I was happy to have a healthy boy but was grieving never having a daughter. My family/husband and friends didn't get it and made me feel guilty which made it worse. I still have down moments that I will never have a girl. Now we are expecting our 4th (I got dh to agree to one more) and I'm terrified I'm gonna go through it all again. I'm hoping it won't be as bad as we had a mmc before this one which was dragged out over 10 weeks and quite traumatic so I'm grateful to have a hopefully healthy baby growing.
We have our gender scan in 18 days and the past 2 days I ve posted on some fb groups for nub theory, desperate for them to say girl.
I just don't see myself being lucky enough to have a girl and feel this one will be another boy. (Which of course will still be loved) but I ll have to grieve the loss of a girl again and this will most definitely be our last.
I've got everything crossed for you!
@topazicatzbet so sorry to hear about your mmc, that sounds like a horrible time for you!
Congratulations on your pregnancy, I totally understand what you’re feeling with wanting that girl. What did people say on the nub theory groups? I posted on a lot of those last time and even paid for nub specialists and had a mix of answers!
I ve had a few leaning girl due to the leg partially blocking the nub and 2 possible boy.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope you get your girl, but also wanted to say that my second run through of GD was nowhere near as bad as the first, so I hope it's the same for you if you have another boy.
My gender scan is tomorrow and I'm so nervous. I'm dreading feeling the same way I did last time, it was horrible. I felt so guilty for feeling the way I did. I was on the verge of tears for days and felt like I had lost someone. I was grieving for the daughter I would never have.
I know I'm so lucky to have 4 healthy babies which makes me feel I have no right to be sad if its another boy which I'm fully expecting but know I'm gonna be gutted I will never have a girl as this is def our last. I just think of the mother daughter bond I'll never have when older or not being able to go wedding dress shopping. Then i dread everyone else's reactions because while I'm putting on a brave face I have to deal with the oh no another boy, which makes me feel sad and angry that my growing baby isn't good enough and I never want them to feel that they weren't wanted or loved. Really hoping I get my pink bundle or I feel better about never getting one.
I completely understand those feelings! I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow and whatever happens, we’ll be here to celebrate with you or give you a place to vent. No judgement. No shame. No need to apologise for your feelings.
All the best with the scan!
Good luck for tomorrow, everything you said is so relatable. I can't make it better but I can say you're definitely not alone.
We are having our 4th boy. I guess I'm just ment to be a boy mum.
I'm relieved that I actually feel OK about it. Obviously a little sad to never have a girl but Im blessed with 4 healthy boys
Congratulations on your baby boy, I’m sure your little gang of brothers will be happy and wonderful. Glad you’re feeling better about it than you thought you would!
Congrats on your little guy! I felt like that with my 3rd. I was super nervous, but when we found out I actually felt really good about it. He ended up being my sweetest, easiest baby too!
Hugs. I'm glad that you don't feel as bad this time though. That was my experience, a really bad time with ds4 and not nearly as bad with ds5. I think sometimes you're just more mentally and emotionally prepared than others.
I think what helped this time is knowing I tried some of the gender swaying such as diet and timing and it was counter productive and took us a lot longer longer concieve than normal so I ditched the diet and supplements but our timing this time fell more in favour of a girl so I have no regrets that I didn't try to tip the odds in favour of a girl.
Just sorted through all the baby clothes I'd saved from ds3 we really don't need to buy anything this time round now
I’m struggling with the swaying thing myself to be honest. We’re NTNP but I’m still trying to tip the odds in case it does happen which isn’t easy with PCOS. I’m finding myself getting confused by all the contradictions in swaying and adding more and more supplements in! I do know I want to give it a good go though as I think I’ll regret not trying to sway no matter the outcome!
What is everyone else trying or tried before?
I tried diet last time, and didn't work.this time Iver tried diet, exercise and supplements, but I've not got anywhere ttc and to be honest I keep falling off the wagon.
You can also do timing, or have your dh do things like frequent release, or abstaining and stuff like that, but as my dh is older it's not advisable he do an abstain and I've never fallen pregnant with a frequent release, and I have all sorts of timings and all boys.