20mth sometimes 'rejecting' me

[Kte]

Most of the time Sophie wants me, I work at home and care for her so I am always around. Usually when we visits grandparents she is excited and will go to them but usually is fine with me at the same time.

The other day my sister came to visit and Sophie just completely disowned me, screamed if I picked her up, clinging to my sister, went to her for everything. To an onlooker it really would not appear that I am her Mum. After my sister had left, Sophie was still hitting me and getting cross with me.

Today we went to a baby group, we have been going for about ten weeks now, its one where parents stay and only lasts about 1hr 30. At the end she sat on the leaders knee for story time, and then after she did that she started to 'reject' me again, wanted them and cried when it was time to go home and I had to take her away.

I know that at this time she will be trying to test me with boundaries and asserting her own independence. Really not looking forward to the terrible two's with her I can tell you! But I am not used to it because Chloe was at nursery full time and so I never experienced it with her.

Is it completely normal - the rejection? Any tips or do I just laugh it off and suck it up?!

 

[biglebowski]

I can only sympathise hun. My lo is 23 mo and has started to "reject" me in favour of daddy, and other relatives at times. This morning he had a melt down and said "Daddy take" to nursery. I took him but he made it clear he wasnt amused. I find its like a slap in the face as I spent close to 15 mo on mat leave and he always was happy to have mummy. He also has started to express a preference for my SIL at a toddler group, holding her hand and choosing her to support him. He had a slight fall and ended up crying and cuddling her on Monday. I was almost in tears when I got home.
In my rational moments I know he loves me and hes just exerting choices because he now can. And I tend to only focus on when he chooses someone else over me, and there are lots of times he wants me. I worked up the courage to say to OH this morning that its really knocking my confidence, and making me feel very emotional but he didnt see any issue. I know its my own insecurities but it really hurts. Im hoping its a short lived phase as its making me question "Am I not fun", "Is he bored when hes with me", "Does he not feel safe and find comfort with me". I try to enjoy that he has developed a really strong bond with OH, who is a fantastic, hands on Dad....but I still wanna cry!!!!
Huge hugs!!

 

[BunnyN]

My little girl acts a bit like this sometimes when her dad or favourite auntie are about. She is glad to get back to me if we are not together for an hr or two though. Part of it is just that she really likes them and they are not there as much as I am. She also went a bit funny when I got pregnant and was quite ill during tri 1. Before that it was me that did everything. All of a sudden my husband, sister and others were looking after her a lot more. She enjoyed her new freedom and got really close with her dad but she kind of had to re work out what her relationship with me was. She was only just over a year old then and acted like she was in her terrible twos. she settled down after a while though. Some LOs get there terrible twos over with early so let's hope that's it .

 

[ruby09]

My lo goes through phases like this. Sometimes he wants mommy, sometimes it's daddy. We are currently in the middle of a daddy phase right now (and for the last 2ish months), and when dh is around lo wants nothing to do with me. If dh and I are both home and I try to put lo to bed, he screams the house down until daddy comes in and then he pushes me away. Up until this point I have been with him most of the time as dh works evenings, so I feel like he clings to him because he doesn't see him as often.

Don't take it personally, I think it's pretty normal for toddlers. I think it's just all part of the terrible two's unfortunately. I like to think that he's only pushing me away because he knows I'm the one who has/will always be there for him when he needs me, and he can explore other options for now. Kinda like he knows mommy will always be waiting for him no matter what, if that makes sense.

 

[_jellybean_]

My lg loves her daddy so much, and she also loves her grandparents. If I'm around, I'm chopped liver, ha ha. I love it though that she has other people in her life who love her very much and that's very important to me so I tend to not get jealous/hurt feelings over that, but I'm sure I have in the past. I think it's normal.

 

[Kte]

Thanks, all, it's awful isn't it!

I think it may be that she just doesn't see my Sister very often too then maybe, she lives 2hrs away so we usually stay over when we visit and the other day was a surprise visit. I like that she has relationships with others, I'm all for that, just not to be pushed away hours afterwards still, like she was mad at me for sending her aunty away or something! Plus, then she started with the group leader that was even weirder!