...

[mommabear6]

((Can this thread get deleted))

 

[MrsKatie]

Hi honey how you’re feeling is ok! I just had baby 6 the day before I turned 41. Uncomplicated pregnancy, did not even have any mention of being induced. He’s brought our family so much joy I swear life is easier since he came along. Just balances everything out so beautifully. Huge congratulations- I know it’s a hard hit right now but this will be a beautiful thing

 

[mommabear6]

Hi honey how you’re feeling is ok! I just had baby 6 the day before I turned 41. Uncomplicated pregnancy, did not even have any mention of being induced. He’s brought our family so much joy I swear life is easier since he came along. Just balances everything out so beautifully. Huge congratulations- I know it’s a hard hit right now but this will be a beautiful thing

Thank you so much I just started crying and feeling emotional. How old are your kids? How did your kids took the news?

 

[MrsKatie]

My kids are 12, 9, 7, 4, 2, and 7 months. They were over the moon when I told them. My parents, not so much, but they’ve had weird reactions since baby 3. Oh well. We are overjoyed.

 

[mommabear6]

At least yours are close in age. I have a young adult, teens and little ones. How was your pregnancy this time around was it any different? Did your doctor treat you any different and gave you the risks convo? Was your last one planned? Sorry I'm just trying to cope with the idea.

 

[MrsKatie]

This pregnancy was a little harder than some but much easier than a couple others. Since I was on baby 6 and my 3rd “geriatric” pregnancy honestly they treated me with more respect since i was a pro at that point. Nobody cared that I was 40. But I also had midwives that I knew from other pregnancies

 

[MrsKatie]

oh and yes it was planned!

 

[mommabear6]

oh and yes it was planned!

That's the difference and I feel bad that mine wasn't. I know it makes me look irresponsable and dumb. I have been tracking my periods and knew my days but last month it was so much going on in our household and I am shocked because we hardly had time to do anything I only recall 2 times that month. But the second time was like a week before my period. I feel drained but I have to pick myself up. Finding a way to tell them. Nice to meet you by the way. I am fairly new here so I don't know anyone here.

 

[josephine3]

Just wanted to pop by with some hugs and support but I'm sorry I don't have much experience to share. I'm about to have my third, planned at 37. No-one has really mentioned my age at all I'm suprised. My 2 older kids aren't happy about it though which is a shame. Im hoping they will come round when he's here!

 

[mommabear6]

Just wanted to pop by with some hugs and support but I'm sorry I don't have much experience to share. I'm about to have my third, planned at 37. No-one has really mentioned my age at all I'm suprised. My 2 older kids aren't happy about it though which is a shame. Im hoping they will come round when he's here!

Thank you I appreciate all the support and the hugs. Im sure your little ones will come around. I know mine probably will too once I tell them. I know at first they will be shocked as I am. I just feel so emotional maybe because I could of took better precautions.

 

[NDH]

Congratulations, even though I know you are still in shock and not thrilled by the idea yet.

I will be turning 39 and having my 6th baby in a couple of weeks (my due date is 2 days before my birthday). This is also my biggest age gap with my current youngest being 5 year old twins.
Adding adult children into the mix would add a different level into it that I won't be experiencing though.

I do, however, know a few people who thought they were going through menopause and in fact turned out to be pregnant. Some of whom already had grandchildren even! Quite a shock when you aren't expecting it.

But I fully believe that children come into our lives at the right time, even if it's not the timing we had planned. Give yourself some time to get over the shock, as that's always to be expected when one discovers a pregnancy that wasn't planned.

5 is a great age for becoming a big sibling - they're old enough to be actually helpful in small ways and generally *want* to help with a new baby, as well as not needing so much hands on help from you to do *everything*. I don't have teenagers yet but I know from friends who do have teenagers when they've had babies again that they can get rather embarrassed by older parents having babies again, but honestly they will get over it. Just be careful not to look at your older kids as free built in baby sitters or they will grow resentful.

As for the opinions of others, it's not anyone else's business how many kids you have or how old you are when you have them. You don't owe anyone an explanation of whether this baby was planned or an oops. Set firm boundaries and do not be afraid to call people out on rude comments. One way I have found to be good to deal with rude comments is to feign you didnt hear them and ask them to repeat themselves - most will be too embarrassed to repeat themselves and may change the subject.

But also remember that having children in our 40s *is* the biological norm, even if it doesn't happen commonly anymore . Our bodies were literally designed to have babies right up until menopause.

I don't allow discussion about my age making me high risk and wouldn't entertain thoughts of being induced for that reason. Age can make it harder to get pregnant with lower egg reserves, and make you higher risk for chromosomal abnormalities, but I've yet to find any compelling evidence that age should make *being* pregnant or giving birth any more high risk than someone in their 20s.
Find a Dr or a midwife who is more holistically minded and woman centered and you will likely not even have your age mentioned at all

 

[NDH]

Also, don't rush until telling your kids. Wait until the shock has worn off and maybe even starting to feel excited and your excitement will rub off on the kids.
With your older kids, you could turn it into a teachable moment about the importance of taking precautions *if you wish*, but you don't have to give them any indication that the baby was anything but a welcome blessing (and for the baby's sake you shouldn't). So there's no need to feel like anyone will consider you irresponsible for having an oops.

 

[mommabear6]

@NDH Thank you so much for taking the time to share your kind words and support. I totally agree with everything that you said. Also since we never ask nobody for nothing and we been raising our kids on our own. So nobody can tell us anything about having more children right? lol I just have to prepare myself to say something when that time comes and yes your right that nobody needs to know if it was planned or not. I just need to find what to say when others do find out without sounding dumb. Yes I also agree with what you said about my older ones. They already are so helpful and independent and the last thing I want is for any of them to feel that way. Thank you once again and is nice meeting you hope to see you around.​

 

[NDH]

I read another post from you where you mentioned God - if you are a Christian, you could always compare yourself to Elizabeth or Sarah when you tell people "isn't it wonderful? God has blessed me in my "old age" just as he blessed Sarah". Etc. I dare anyone to try to make you feel bad about being pregnant at 41 after that.

 

[mommabear6]

I read another post from you where you mentioned God - if you are a Christian, you could always compare yourself to Elizabeth or Sarah when you tell people "isn't it wonderful? God has blessed me in my "old age" just as he blessed Sarah". Etc. I dare anyone to try to make you feel bad about being pregnant at 41 after that.

Someone mentioned God to me and it all made sense because of the circumstances and how surprising it has been for me. You made me smile even though I am not 41 yet lol but thank you ill keep that in mind.

 

[mommabear6]

Anyone mind helping me out to how far along could I be. My LMP was 11/3 according to that im 6 weeks but based on when I must of have ovulated and conceived was on the 17-21. On Dec 1 is what I am assuming was implantation. I only notice one pink spot one time and that was it. I then tested when I was 2 days late on the 6th and the lines were super dark and it showed up right away. Based from my last cycle it was 31 days. I have never seen my lines this dark maybe because I always test before my AF this time I waited until I was late. I know the doctor will go based on my LMP but I think I could be less than 6 weeks. WDYT?

 

[NDH]

If you ovulated Nov 17-21 that would make you due between August 9 and 14, and be between 4+4 or 5+1 weeks pregnant.

 

[mommabear6]

@NDH that is what I was thinking too but does lines be that dark at that many weeks? I always test before my period so I dont recall ever seen the lines that dark. This time I tested when I was 2 days late. I wonder how many dpo was it when I tested.

 

[NDH]

They can be. I had the start of a de stealer at 16dpo (the same as 4+2) on a cheapy test which typically take a lot longer to darken. With this pregnancy.