2nd timers

[Darlin65]

Am I the only one who thinks it doesn't feel as special/exciting this time around? I'm excited for birth and baby but I just don't have that overwhelming excitement I did with DS or our mc pregnancy.

 

[Leids]

Definitely not as excited for this baby as I was with my first LO. That said, we had been TTC with #1 and this baby was unplanned. I also have other things to worry about with this baby that I didn't need to worry about with #1, like thyroid problems.

So I have yet to get excited, more just concerns on top of concerns. Hopefully once things settle down the excitement will kick in.

 

[Darlin65]

yep I have thyroid problems too. I feel like I'm so stressed rather than elated.

 

[Leids]

Good to know I'm not alone. It's definitely rough right now. Looks like our LO's are about the same age too. With DS I was so happy and relaxed all first tri!

 

[Darlin65]

Same here. We told everyone at like 5wks! we had a Mmc and I began bleeding at 8wks in January so until we have our 9wks scan I'm panicked. We are telling at 12wks.

 

[Starry Night]

Maybe the lack of elation could also be due to the fact it's a pregnancy after a loss? Losing a baby really takes the joy away. Then there is the worry about whether or not we can love it as much as the first. Also, the 'newness' isn't there either.

I'm happy to be pregnant and when I got my bfp I did practically jump onto dh in bed to tell him the good news but I'm not euphoric either. I've had 2 losses in a row now so I'm just taking it one day at a time. My SiL is expecting a baby shortly after my latest angel would have been due so I am a little relieved to be pregnant again because it has been really, really painful to see her and know I should be big like her.

So yeah, I'm pleased but feeling not as thrilled as with DS. The good news is I'm not feeling anxious yet either.

 

[Darlin65]

I'm hoping once we hit 2nd tri and tell everyone it will get better. I felt relief in the beginning in reference to our loss but I'm starting to get sad again. It's hard to explain.

 

[Starry Night]

I think I can understand. I'm happy to be pregnant again but sad that I'm at the beginning all over again when I should be in third tri. Heck, I shouldn't even be pregnant anymore. I should have a 3 month old to cuddle in my arms. First tri is so vulnerable and I'm sad I'm not looking forward to a baby yet. I'm just trying to make it to 12 weeks at this point.

 

[Darlin65]

I also think kind of avoiding everyone because I don't want them figuring it out is hard too. I'm kinda cooped up in the house and OH is working tons of mandatory overtime and has school in the evenings I feel pretty alone. I think it's a huge mix of things.

 

[Starry Night]

We're telling everyone right away even though I don't really want to. But with my history I'm putting myself on modified bed rest right away and I can't exactly disappear without explaining why. I'm still nervous though because not everyone understands. They'll say 'oh yes, you need to rest and pull out of things" when they really mean "you should pull out of other people's things but I fully expect you to come to mine". I had some major blowups the last time I was on bed rest with DS even though I had a doctor's note and everything. People (close people) got pissed with me for not coming to their things even though I explained why and they SAID they understood. I missed weddings, gatherings and reunions. Also was given flack for being depressed and moody (um, just suffered a m/c and was terrified it was happening again....I was on bed rest for a reason). So now I'm scared people are going to harass me again.

 

[XxCalxX]

Huge hugs ladies, i can really relate to alot of whats been posted. I had a late mc in may this year, i was almost 18 weeks but baby had stopped growing and passed away at 16weeks. I am now 13weeks pregnant, and i was excited and happy for the first time yesterday when we saw our baby looking very healthy at our nuchal scan. Im still nervous and dont think i will completely relax untill the 20week scan. With my 1st pregnancy i was really excited but i hadn't experienced a mc before so didn't really have that fear of it happening.x

 

[Lady_Bee]

I'm not as excited about this pregnancy because I've done it all before, I know what happens, and I have a toddler to occupy me 24 hours a day, who is fascinating in every way. Way more exciting than thinking about my pregnancy, because he is energetic and loud and RIGHT THERE all the time.

I am excited about this pregnancy, and totally thrilled, but it just doesn't occupy my thoughts like my first did.

 

[AC1987]

I find my first pregnancy was better I was very naïve on costs, it seemed like everyone cared more, got more things that happened, more ultrasounds, more prenatal care, my dh seemed a tad bit more caring. This time around I'm just low and feeling sorry for myself wondering how on earth people are able to afford babies, still paying off the 1st one.

 

[sun]

I think once my risk of mc and other problems drops a bit I'll be way more excited about this one! I also think that with your first you have loads of time to imagine and daydream about being a mum and having a baby, etc. Once you're pregnant with #2 (or more) then you're running around after other kiddos and time just gets away.

That said, this baby (#3) will be our last so I think that once I know that things have a better chance of working out I will be the most excited about this one! It's my last pregnancy/birth experience - sniff!

 

[Islas_mummy]

I have just started being sick and now remember how debilitating and horrible it is and it's just going to get worse.....oh and I am getting married in 3 weeks and likely to just be dry heaving and concentrating on not throwing up all day....oh and I can't eat anything but toast or drink anything

Sorry for the rant. This pregnancy was planned but I didn't expect it to happen straight away and now I am thinking "why couldn't I have just held on another cycle!!"

 

[EarthMama]

I am also pregnant after a mmc and it has definitely warped how excited I am. I'm mostly just worried all the time. I'll relax more in second tri...I hope.

 

[little moomin]

I am actually te opposite, last time i was nervous, stressed, anxious, don't really deal will with change and the unknown! This time i think because I've done it before i amjust super excited to the point where i am tryin to hold back just in case

 

[notneutral]

I am sooo much more paranoid this time around for some reason. I didn't have any problems with my first, and everything was new and exciting. I'm excited about this one, but every time I feel a twinge of pain I'm on google to find out what it is! I really don't know why, it's almost like I'm expecting something bad to happen. (?)

 

[Darlin65]

Have any of you been judged poorly because you have had a mc but still have a gender preference?

 

[Leids]

I haven't had a m/c but even prior to this pregnancy I would get "oh are you trying for a little girl next?" and I would tell them I would be elated to have a boy but am unsure about a girl. I got a lot of shock and awe type looks.

I called my mom and spoke to her when I found out and the first thing she mentioned was "oh I hope it's a girl so you can have a complete family!" Erm? Really? So having a 2nd boy would mean my family was incomplete? I was feeling exceptionally hormonal that day so got a bit angry with her.

I think when you have one gender, people assume you want the other gender for the next. That's not always the case. I'll be happy I'm sure either way though.

/rant