2ww after a loss - it sucks!

[Amygdala]

Anyone currently in the 2ww after a recent loss?
I had medical management for a mmc in early September (8+4, discovered at 11+6) and am now in my second 2ww. In my first 2ww (before first AF) I had so many symptoms, I was convinced I was pregnant. Then AF came. Now I have less but some symptoms but just don't think I'm pregnant. Not k owing is driving me crazy though. I'll probably test from 10dpo, which is when I got my bfp with my first pregnancy. I'm just such a mess of emotions at the moment. I go from optimistic to scared to not really caring to worried to relaxed to needing to know now and back about 10 times an hour. I think I'm relatively ok with the mc but I'm just so on edge about the possibility of a new pregnancy. Anyone else feel like this? I think once I know either way, I'll be ok, it's just the not k owing that's driving me mad. Can anyone relate?

 

[grandbleu]

I recently had a miscarriage - this is my first cycle TTC and I'm just at the beginning of my TWW. The first time I got pregnant I tested on the 27th day of my cycle (1 day before my period was due) and got my BFP. I'm only on CD17 now so I'll wait about 10 more days if not more - I don't want to be disappointed .

I'm not too hopeful this month because we actually only had sex once (CD14) and I decided not to temp this month cuz it's too soon and I didn't feel like it - I usually ovulate on the 14th day so there's a wee chance everything worked...miracle perhaps?

I'm totally with you there that TWW sucks (it sucked before my miscarriage but now it sucks even more!)

 

[Amygdala]

I'm sorry for your loss. I can imagine that dying again is even harder if your first bfp took a while. I you hit ovulation day this month you're still in with a chance but I can understand why you don't want to get your hopes up. I guess that's the best policy for me too but I just can't help myself.
Are you doing anything to keep yourself busy and your mind of it? I think I'll need to come up with a really good plan for the weekend..

 

[grandbleu]

Thank you - I just hate that all of us ladies have to even be here. I look at the world now and just think it's so unfair. We all want to be moms and it doesn't work and then there are others who don't want their kids or mistreat them...just off on a rant about the unfairness of it all (I'm still early on in my grieving between sadness and anger - can't wait for HOPE to knock on my door)

Good luck with TTC and can't wait to hear - I love hearing the positive BFP stories after a loss - it makes me much more hopeful. When are you testing this month?

To keep busy - unfortunately we just moved and I don't have a job yet and my DH is traveling for work and I don't know anyone here (just one couple but they both work and they actually have a 8 month old - they never ever wanted kids and oops so that's not very helpful to me right now). Gosh I sound like I'm complaining a lot...I guess it's just hard to be busy because of those circumstances. I'm out jogging every day (trying to be in the best shape for future baby ) and the house is VERY clean because I do it everyday LOL...I'm on the internet a lot and trying to find a job. How are you keeping busy? I need some new ideas

 

[calamityjane1]

hey - you sound very similar to me. I lost my first pregnancy in October at 11 weeks.

We decided to try again without waiting for AF, and although I dont chart or anything am pretty sure I ovulated at the weekend and am now 3DPO. I feel 'okish' about the miscarriage but still randomly cry and get very sad when I think about it. I know a new pregnancy will help me get over it, but at the same time am petrified of the same happening again. I am also not working atm as we are moving in 3 weeks and I start new job up there so have nothing to occupy me at the moment really. Sucks doesnt it!

 

[Amygdala]

I'm sorry for your loss CalmityJane. We also started ttc straight away, but weren't so lucky in the first month. It's so scary to think it might happen again though, isn't it? But in actual fact, after one miscarriage your chance to have a healthy pregnancy next time is 85-90%. I keep telling myself those numbers, because the chance of this happening again is actually so small.

Grandbleu, I'll test next Monday, which will be 10 dpo. I tested positive at 10 dpo with my first pregnancy so that's the very earliest I'll test. I might hold out for longer if I can.

It really sucks that you both have nothing to keep you busy just now. I'm a bit luckier there as work is about to get really frantic. I guess jobhunting will keep you a little occupied though Grandbleu? And Calmityjane, I bet you have lots of packing to do? Apart from work I don't really have any grand plans. I'm intending to have a gardening day on Saturday (rake leaves, cut gras, get everything winter-ready) and maybe IKEA on Sunday? Not sure really. So what was the reason for you both to relocate? I moved country to be with my DH just over 6 years ago, so I know what a big change it can be. So exciting though!

 

[grandbleu]

Amydgala -
Oh I'm excited for you - hoping you get your BFP you deserve. I'm glad you have work and some activities this weekend. I'm not going to test until CD28 or 29 (I'm on 17 right now so another week and a half)...it would seriously be a miracle though...we will really TRY TRY TRY the next month though if this one doesn't work out...I would love an Xmas BFP - no other presents necessary.
We moved actually from the US to France because I got pregnant and didn't have insurance (part-time job) and DH didn't have full-time work either so basically we couldn't afford it. DH is Scottish and both of us have lived here before (me 7 years and DH 16 years) so we decided to come back to Europe to start a family but obviously I miscarried so now we are here and I feel a bit lost because our reason for returning is gone.

Calamityjane1 -

First so sorry for your loss . So you're in the midst of moving so cleaning and packing can occupy you while you're not working...it's a big change. Good luck this cycle...we semi-tried in between the miscarriage and first cycle but it didn't work out for us - I think it's a good thing in my case because my first AF was only 1 day long so I don't think I had thick enough lining after my loss. I agree I want desperately to get pregnant again knowing that will restore my hope a little but petrified about going through this again. It makes me so upset because I was so happy and loving my first pregnancy feeling no anxiety whatsoever and boom...now the second pregnancy will be filled with fear

 

[Amygdala]

It makes me so upset because I was so happy and loving my first pregnancy feeling no anxiety whatsoever and boom...now the second pregnancy will be filled with fear

I so know what you mean! I'm normally quite uptight and anxious about things that are important to me but I was so relaxed in my first pregnancy. I just trusted that everything will be ok. And now I think I'll be really worried for 9 months if and when this happens for us. I'm trying my best to think positive though and most days I do quite well with that, so maybe with a lot of self-control and conscious effort I'll manage to stay relaxed. You know, the chances of something going wrong again are actually really slim. Are you going to get regular scans next time? I think I will, even if I have to pay for them. Just to put my mind at ease...

 

[grandbleu]

Are you going to get regular scans next time? I think I will, even if I have to pay for them. Just to put my mind at ease...

I didn't get any scans the first time (I was going to get one right after 12 weeks but obviously had my miscarriage a little before). I was like you so trusting and confident. I actually had friends suggest I get a scan at like 10 weeks just to make sure everything was OK - I almost did but then I said to myself, "You know what I have so much faith that everything is going great - I feel good, my body feels good...I'm not going to get the scan"

Obviously I will be getting a scan this time between 6-8 weeks to check growth and to make sure there is a heartbeat. I will pay for them if need be no problem since it will mean peace of mind for me. I just wish I could have had one of those blissful pregnancies I'm so sorry for us both that we couldn't have our ideal pregnancies.

 

[Amygdala]

You just wait! The next ones might be a lot more "ideal" than we think now. Yeah, we'll be worried and scared sometimes but we'll have our beautiful babies with us at the end of them!
I had a scan at 6+4 last time just to make sure that everything is in the right place and so on. We saw a heartbeat then and we even have the pictures (on which - thankfully - you can't see anything but a little blob). Baby stopped growing around 8+4 so this time I really want another scan around 9 weeks. I know it's not rational, it would just make me feel better. And if I have to pay for that one, so be it. My gp mentioned that I'll get an early scan on the NHS but she didn't say how early. So we'll see.

 

[grandbleu]

Amydgala - can you just explain to me the 6+4, 8+4, 11+6. TIA - I guess the system is different in the UK but I just want to understand so I know what you are talking about...I assume it is the baby's "age" but I've only just worked in weeks.

 

[Hopes]

Im in the same setuation,,I miscarried in sept 11th and Im soo sad and cant forget about it till now...me and dh decided try again as soon as I stopped bleeding cz i thaught that a neww pregnancy would make me feel better so here we are "trying" af showed in the first cycle and now Im in the 2nd cycle and waiting to test in 9 days..hope I get my bfp!

 

[grandbleu]

Im in the same setuation,,I miscarried in sept 11th and Im soo sad and cant forget about it till now...me and dh decided try again as soon as I stopped bleeding cz i thaught that a neww pregnancy would make me feel better so here we are "trying" af showed in the first cycle and now Im in the 2nd cycle and waiting to test in 9 days..hope I get my bfp!

Hopes - We are cycling pretty similar - I will test in about 10 days unless AF decides to rear her ugly head.

 

[ttcmikeandme]

I'm feeling the same way as most of you. I found out we miscarried at 11weeks sept 29, had medical management oct 1st. I really didn't bleed at all until oct 4th, so think that maybe that was my cycle restarting? Didn't really have too much sex this month because of the restrictions and then just the emotion of it all, but now I'm just waiting for my cycle to arrive again (I'm normally a 35 day cycle). I'm hating waiting for AF to arrive, because I know that it is such a slim chance to get pregnant this month but a little part of me is clinging to the hope that it could happen..........

 

[Amygdala]

Amydgala - can you just explain to me the 6+4, 8+4, 11+6.

Sure, sorry. It's 6 weeks 4 days and so on. That's from last AF.

Hi to all the neebors. It's so sad that you're all here but at the same time it's so good to not be alone in this. Hope we get lots of bfps here soon.

 

[Amygdala]

Righty, 8 dpo here today. Anyone given in and tested yet? I'm staying strong so far but who knows how long that's going to last.

Does anyone have any symptoms? I so far can list: pronounced veins, sensitive boobs, little twinges and yeast infection (sorry for TMI) which I never get normally. Not going to read too much into it but I'm carefully hopeful. Will try not to test before Monday though.

How's everyone else doing?

 

[grandbleu]

I'm CD 20 (so probably about DPO 5 o 6 - not sure cuz I didn't temp this cycle) I'm not going to cave because I don't want to spend the money and be disappointed I'm going to wait till CD28 at least (when my cycle should come back)

I would hold off till at least DPO 12 (that's when I first found out I was pregnant)...it's hard for sure. Good luck and keep busy during the dreaded TWW

 

[Amygdala]

I got my bfp at 10 dpo last time so that's my aim at the moment. If I can hold off longer I will but I have my doubts right now. I have really cheap internet tests though so a few wasted ones won't make a difference.

 

[Pippin]

I too had a mmc in September and had an erpc. I'm 8dpo today so I'm with you pretty much to the day. I really feel pregnant but I'm also bracing myself for the bfn. I'm trying to take it casually. DH and I only dtd once but that's all it took with my son and the one we lost. I feel just the same as I did with when pregnant but I also had a couple of months when I was trying to conceive my son when I thought I was too and I wasn't. Basically I'm trying not to obsess but really I am, put it this way I've already peed on 2 tests bfn of course but still. With both pregnancies I only got a positive at 10 dpo so that's tuesday!

 

[Amygdala]

Hey Pippin! Best of luck for a bfp on Tuesday! You're just a day behind me, so how about I get mine tomorrow and then you follow on Tuesday? I have to say though, I'm not sure if I believe in a bfp for me this month. So I'm also trying to be casual about. Haven't tested yet, a first for me!