3 failed IUIs. How do you cope?

[Luciola]

I was so gassy that our farty dog hated me. Thinking of you Moni!

 

[moni77]

Nice pic Dini!!

 

[summer2011]

Will you test early Moni?

 

[moni77]

No. Actually going to go in for the beta on Sunday and listen to their message on Monday. (Originally I was going to do a HPT on Monday and go in on Tues - but doc said I could go to the city office as early as sunday.)

 

[Dini]

Keeping fingers crossed for you Moni!

 

[WillowGrace]

It sounds like everyone is doing well.
Moni I am sending you lots of baby dust. I hope you get your BFP!


I had my beta today. Another negative.
I feel gutted. So now I have to make a decision tomorrow, since today is day 1. I'm going to call and talk to my nurse tomorrow. Here are my options: Do I go for another IUI cycle right away, since my consult appointment isn't until next Monday, so no time is wasted then go with the new protocol if it fails OR do I save the $ go to the appt. Monday and wait to do IVF. If I wait we won't be able to start until at least December or January, so I can change my insurance at work to a more comprehensive plan that covers more of the cost of the IVF procedure. It will kill me waiting, but another failed IUI will suck, too especially if I'm just wasting my $$. My husband said I can make the decision. Any advice, thoughts, suggestions would be appreciated. I know the doc. is going for IVF next, since we have not had success with IUI.

 

[Maverick007]

It sounds like everyone is doing well.
Moni I am sending you lots of baby dust. I hope you get your BFP!


I had my beta today. Another negative.
I feel gutted. So now I have to make a decision tomorrow, since today is day 1. I'm going to call and talk to my nurse tomorrow. Here are my options: Do I go for another IUI cycle right away, since my consult appointment isn't until next Monday, so no time is wasted then go with the new protocol if it fails OR do I save the $ go to the appt. Monday and wait to do IVF. If I wait we won't be able to start until at least December or January, so I can change my insurance at work to a more comprehensive plan that covers more of the cost of the IVF procedure. It will kill me waiting, but another failed IUI will suck, too especially if I'm just wasting my $$. My husband said I can make the decision. Any advice, thoughts, suggestions would be appreciated. I know the doc. is going for IVF next, since we have not had success with IUI.

I'm so sorry WillowGrace. How many have you done so far? I did four but was always told that statistically, if it is going to work, it will within 3 attempts (assuming the protocol is correct). For me, I tried to weigh 'how will I feel if it doesn't work - will you be glad you gave it one last go?' If so, then you should do it. If you will be very upset and wish you hadn't spent the money, it might be better to wait until you are ready for IVF with a better plan...the wait is so frustrating but it will be so worth it to have a "break," get mentally ready and physically ready. Whatever your decision, I pray your next step is the answer for you.

Moni, how are you? I'm hoping for good news for you.

 

[StayHopeful]

So sorry, willow. I was in a similar situation and after 2 failed IUIs, the doctor was pushing us to go straight to IVF but I really wanted to try one more IUI cycle. It didn't work and that was really hard, but I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I feel like if I hadn't tried that last time, I wouldn't have been emotionally ready to move to IVF because I wouldn't have felt like all our other options were exhausted. But on the other hand, my doctor definitely knew what she was talking about and it took IVF for us to get pregnant. Hang in there, hun!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hi Willow, gosh I can totally relate to that total feeling of despair after yet another failed IUI. I started this thread after my third fail and it was one of the saddest days of my life. It just felt like if that one hadn't worked, nothing ever would. I was emotionally and physically exhausted from the chaos of cycle monitoring appointments and as much as it scared me, I had to put on the brakes.

I always worried about taking a break, because what if that was going to be my month. But for the sake of my sanity at the time and my marriage I needed to hit the pause button. So we took a short break and I focused on my health, exercising helped me work out all that sadness and anger that was turning me into a bitter person. And then we went on a vacation and I just totally let go of being in ttc mode. We went to Hawaii for 2 weeks and I ate whatever I wanted, drank whatever and relaxed for the first time in over a year. I then started IVF about 3 weeks after we got back and I felt refreshed and ready to face whatever the outcome may be. The vacation was a real healing experience for both my OH and I and I feel like our IVF cycle just barely worked because I had taken that time out for myself.

You know yourself best. Can you handle another IUI? If you are emotionally and physically unable to handle it, then don't be afraid to take a break. December is not that far away and you can spend some time between now and then just being really good to yourself.

I've said this before but I see now why I has to wait all that time for my son. It just wouldn't be him if I had gotten pregnant naturally or if any of those IUIs had worked. It had to be that sperm and that egg on that day through IVF. Otherwise it would have been someone else and I tell him every day he was worth the wait.

Moni I'm thinking of you. Fingers and toes crossed!!!!

 

[Dini]

So sorry willow. That's a hard decision but go with your gut! We were saving for ivf when we got a surprise bfp.

Moni, should we take your absence as bad news?? Fingers still crossed!!

 

[PinkPeony]

I had a similar route as Sashimi. I didn't want to stop treatments at the time. When you're in it you feel like if you stop you'll miss your chance, but it's not really like that. For me the break is just what I needed. I got healthy, also took a trip, started seeing a new naturopath... I really needed all that to get in the right place emotionally. I had gotten to such a negative, defeated place. I was just beaten down. It takes stepping outside that fertility treatment world to look at life a bit differently. It seems like forever now, but in the grand scheme of things when you look back those months of waiting won't mean much. If you do choose to wait, try to fill that time up with being kind to yourself.

 

[moni77]

Sorry about the absence - but it is hard to update on the phone...

First of all, sorry Willow. I had 4 IUIs before moving on. I also took a break before starting IVF and I think it helped a lot.

Sooo...beta was positive ladies!! Numbers were a little low, (Beta at 45.8, progesterone at 18.) They increased my progesterone shot to 1.5cc. I went in for the second beta today - waiting for the call - hoping against hope that the numbers have doubled. I accidently listened to the message on sunday and when I got home took some tests - the digital popped right up. The wondfo took some time, but got a line. I was a little worried, because I took one yesterday morning and it seemed the same, took another last night and it was darker - so I am only taking them at night!! I think I managed to attach the photos... Still pretty nervous for todays results but that second test yesterday made me feel better!

 

[Maverick007]

Sorry about the absence - but it is hard to update on the phone...

First of all, sorry Willow. I had 4 IUIs before moving on. I also took a break before starting IVF and I think it helped a lot.

Sooo...beta was positive ladies!! Numbers were a little low, (Beta at 45.8, progesterone at 18.) They increased my progesterone shot to 1.5cc. I went in for the second beta today - waiting for the call - hoping against hope that the numbers have doubled. I accidently listened to the message on sunday and when I got home took some tests - the digital popped right up. The wondfo took some time, but got a line. I was a little worried, because I took one yesterday morning and it seemed the same, took another last night and it was darker - so I am only taking them at night!! I think I managed to attach the photos... Still pretty nervous for todays results but that second test yesterday made me feel better!

Congrats Moni!!!!!! Praying that the beta stays strong!!

 

[Dini]

Congrats Moni!! I'm so thrilled for you!! Now the real worrying begins lol!!!

 

[moni77]

Right - not sure how much work I am going to get done today...

 

[summer2011]

Yay Moni!! Don't worry about the wondfos. They are terrible at showing progression. It was the same for me. Congrats

 

[SashimiMimi]

Oh Moni that is wonderful!!! Congrats! Remember that hcg doubles every 30-72 hours. Mine were doubling every 72 after IVF and I freaked out it wasn't doubling every 48, but all was fine. That's awesome! I'm so happy for you!

 

[moni77]

still waiting for the call....trying not to freak out too much...

 

[Dini]

Moni, I hope that call comes soon!! I hate waiting for lab results!!

And for the wondfo's, summer is right, sometimes I'll take one (yes still take them once in a while) and it will be light, then I take one later and it's dark again, all in the same day. I seem to get darker ones at night for some reason. I know they are funky but still worries me.

Oh I am so happy that it looks like you will be joining the first trimester boards!!

 

[moni77]

They FINALLY called me back at about 4:45pm and my beta is up to 117!!! I'm so relieved! I go back in a week for a scan and another set of blood tests! (I got no work done today!) I think I am going to try to figure out how to add a ticker! I never thought this day would come...