3 failed IUIs. How do you cope?

My RE never recommended a lap for me either, and it sounds like you have a cause for your struggles. I'm guessing your success rate with IVF would be extremely high since it would bypass any motility or count issues and you are healthy. April 29th is right around the corner, you've been through so much I pray that this appointment gives you comfort and leads you to your BFP. All the women on here made IVF seem not that bad and so far everyone has been successful.
 
Thanks so much Jlh1980. I really hope we have a good shot, but I know anything can happen with this thing. I think this is a lucky thread - maybe it's rubbing off on me too. :flower:
 
Pink, I can totally relate to how awful that final failed IUI BFN feels. Mine came on May 30 last year and it was honestly one of the worst days of my life. I had never felt so much despair and hopelessness. I had just started a new job and was caught crying in an alley behind my office by a co-worker which just intensified how crappy I felt. I couldn't believe it had failed and I was now looking at other options. It just seemed like nothing was going to work. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself from a year ago that I would get pregnant, that something would work and that a year from that day I would be giving birth. I know it is going to be the same for you too, you will look back and while you may not forget the sorrow of infertility it will be a distant memory.

And this is a lucky thread! I am fully confident that BFPs will be coming to everyone!
 
sashi~ thank you so much for your responce to Pink, it brightened my day. hang in there pink, I just had IUI number 4, so I can relate to the despairing feeling after a failed IUI. this site helps me so...much!
 
Oh Pink, I know the feeling too. I'm so sorry. When my final IUI failed I felt complete despair, and even though we were moving forward to IVF, I felt hopeless. I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. Everyone around me was getting pregnant without even really trying and I was just stuck at a confusing, depressing standstill. All last November and December I was so miserable and was in a a terrible mental and emotional place.

And now, I am due this November. I never would have believed that my story would have such a happy ending, and so soon after I felt like I had hit rock bottom. Stay strong, believe, and know this will happen for you.
 
Thanks so much you guys. I've been down a bit, but I think my lowest point was actually after the 4th one. I really lost hope at that point, so this last one we did I just knew wouldn't work so my reaction this time is more like numbness. Plus I knew we'd be moving onto IVF next so that helps. My struggle now is to put those failures behind me and get in a more positive mindset about IVF. I think it'll help to talk to this new doc about it and hear how our chances are.

My DH went to a male fertility clinic yesterday. He was there for 3 hours. They went through all his IUI numbers and SA's and they basically said there's no point in doing anymore IUI's but that IVF is a really good route for us. So that was good to hear... Just another opinion backing up what we're doing. If it was up to my FS we'd keep doing IUI's - I had to push for IVF. So at least one doctor agrees with me... and a specialist in MF at that. :thumbup:
 
Hey Pink, is the new doctor at your clinic or are you switching clinics? I met a few other Toronto IVF couples at my prenatal classes at the hospital and it seems we all had multiple failed IUIs before IVF turned out to be the answer. I don't think anyone goes to a fertility clinic thinking they will be leaving after doing IVF, it seems so extreme, but it really seems to have the most successful results. I'm excited to hear how your consult goes!
 
Hey Pink, is the new doctor at your clinic or are you switching clinics? I met a few other Toronto IVF couples at my prenatal classes at the hospital and it seems we all had multiple failed IUIs before IVF turned out to be the answer. I don't think anyone goes to a fertility clinic thinking they will be leaving after doing IVF, it seems so extreme, but it really seems to have the most successful results. I'm excited to hear how your consult goes!

Thanks!! I will keep you guys posted.
I am moving on to another clinic. The doctor I was seeing is a fertility specialist but she doesn't do IVF, so it's like I'm graduating. The new one is in the same building and it's just one floor above. I've walked by it before and it looks like a high end spa.
 
Create has that spa feel to it as well. Is it the Hammam clinic? I hear the same thing about that place.
 
Yes! It's Hannam. I'm an interior designer so I really appreciate a pretty space like that Lol! I should ask for a facial with my IVF.
 
My doctor sends her patients to both Hammam and Create and says both are very reputable. A coworker of my OH's did IVF at Hammam and loved them. I think they have the highest success rates in the city! Sounds like you are moving on to great hands! I can't wait to hear how your consult goes!!

I am so useless when it comes to home decor. We are having some renovations done right now and wish I could have an interior designer redo my entire house!
 
My doctor sends her patients to both Hammam and Create and says both are very reputable. A coworker of my OH's did IVF at Hammam and loved them. I think they have the highest success rates in the city! Sounds like you are moving on to great hands! I can't wait to hear how your consult goes!!

Ooh!! I'm getting excited now! :happydance:
 
Pink this is going to work for you I know it! Your appointment is on the 29th right, I'll be thinking about you.
 
How is everyone doing? Any news from our ladies in the middle of their IVF cycles?
 
Ok ladies. Just got back from my appointment. I feel like I have to post about it on here bc my head feels a bit mixed up about it.

The clinic itself seems really nice, a lot better than the one I was going to for monitoring before. It really does have a spa like feeling and much more calm atmosphere than the last place which was pretty chaotic and impersonal.

My new doctor seems good.... here's the weird part for me though. I always was under the impression that we couldn't conceive bc of male factor issues. But after going through our file she said - so you're unexplained. :saywhat:... she doesn't think our MF is bad enough to keep us from conceiving all this time. Also, I told her about how I have a lot of spotting before my period and she mentioned it could be due to poor egg quality but there's no way to be sure. So now I guess I don't feel as positive about the IVF as I did before. I dunno... just some weird info to process.

Had a bunch of blood taken - some repeats & an AMH test which I had never done. I'm supposed to get another SHG next month which sucks because the first one was painful. Next appt is in June to be given our protocol. We're talking about doing a trip now before we do IVF so we're now looking at mid July for the cycle.

Sorry I wrote so much. How's everyone else doing? :flower:
 
Pink, these fertility visits can really make you feel like you've been hit by a ton of bricks. Try not to feel frustrated or lose hope. I was pretty much unexplained before going into IVF. Basically none of the IUIs worked and my ovarian reserve was low (not drastically low, but low enough) that IVF was the next logical step. Our doctor had a lot of theories, maybe the sperm and egg weren't meeting, maybe there was an egg quality issue, or a number of other things. So we felt in the unexplained category, too. However, I wanted to do IVF because whether it worked or not it would explain and reveal a lot more about our fertility than any of the other tests and scans were showing. They would be able to watch real sperm/egg interaction and study my eggs and finally tell us what the heck was going on!

Based on the doctor's recommendation, we left half our eggs to fertilize naturally and half the eggs were ICSI (just in case the sperm and egg were not meeting ICSI would do it manually). Well, all the ICSI eggs crumbled apart except for 1 which fertilized, and then 2 IVF eggs left to do their own thing fertilized. The ICSI egg died, one of the IVF eggs was really poor quality and 1 was good quality and transferred. I had 15 eggs retrieved in total and during the transfer my doctor said the embryologists noted some egg quality issues which explained why we hadn't had any success and why the ICSI didn't work.

Also, the biggest lightbulb thing he said which I have said on this board before, but will say it again is that those 15 retrieved eggs represented 15 months of ovulation and only 1 egg was strong enough to turn into a good quality embryo.

Anyway, I think you are in great hands at Hammam. They are one of the top two fertility clinics in Toronto and I have only ever heard good things and read great reviews on them. It stinks that you will have to do the HSG and repeat some tests, but they aren't leaving anything up to chance.

Also, taking a vacation before IVF is probably the best thing you can do. I'm repeating myself here again, but we took a fantastic vacation to Hawaii between the failed IUIs and IVF and it was so healing and relaxing. I felt completely calm and rejuvenated going into IVF, I was just ready for it after having such an amazing time away with OH. I can't prove that our vacation helped IVF worked, but it really helped me find inner peace and I was such a wreck emotionally up until that point.
 
Pink, these fertility visits can really make you feel like you've been hit by a ton of bricks. Try not to feel frustrated or lose hope. I was pretty much unexplained before going into IVF. Basically none of the IUIs worked and my ovarian reserve was low (not drastically low, but low enough) that IVF was the next logical step. Our doctor had a lot of theories, maybe the sperm and egg weren't meeting, maybe there was an egg quality issue, or a number of other things. So we felt in the unexplained category, too. However, I wanted to do IVF because whether it worked or not it would explain and reveal a lot more about our fertility than any of the other tests and scans were showing. They would be able to watch real sperm/egg interaction and study my eggs and finally tell us what the heck was going on!

Based on the doctor's recommendation, we left half our eggs to fertilize naturally and half the eggs were ICSI (just in case the sperm and egg were not meeting ICSI would do it manually). Well, all the ICSI eggs crumbled apart except for 1 which fertilized, and then 2 IVF eggs left to do their own thing fertilized. The ICSI egg died, one of the IVF eggs was really poor quality and 1 was good quality and transferred. I had 15 eggs retrieved in total and during the transfer my doctor said the embryologists noted some egg quality issues which explained why we hadn't had any success and why the ICSI didn't work.

Also, the biggest lightbulb thing he said which I have said on this board before, but will say it again is that those 15 retrieved eggs represented 15 months of ovulation and only 1 egg was strong enough to turn into a good quality embryo.

Anyway, I think you are in great hands at Hammam. They are one of the top two fertility clinics in Toronto and I have only ever heard good things and read great reviews on them. It stinks that you will have to do the HSG and repeat some tests, but they aren't leaving anything up to chance.

Also, taking a vacation before IVF is probably the best thing you can do. I'm repeating myself here again, but we took a fantastic vacation to Hawaii between the failed IUIs and IVF and it was so healing and relaxing. I felt completely calm and rejuvenated going into IVF, I was just ready for it after having such an amazing time away with OH. I can't prove that our vacation helped IVF worked, but it really helped me find inner peace and I was such a wreck emotionally up until that point.

Thank you so much for this Sashimi. It really helps to know ppl get it. A ton of bricks is exactly how it feels. I guess I didn't prepare myself to hear something unexpected like that.
That is such an interesting insight that you got from your IVF. It really makes sense when I look at everything together... The spotting, the failed IUI's... Maybe we've been unlucky, but more likely combo of factors is at play and it's like you say - you can really only end up with one or 2 stabs at it in a period of several months. I will have to do ICSI unfortunately bc of DH's issues... Hopefully the eggs hold up. I'm going back to acupuncture getting onto a pile of supplements my doc recommended. I was hoping to jump right into it but a break and this trip is probably a good idea to prepare a bit more.
 

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