3 failed IUIs. How do you cope?

[StayHopeful]

Pink, I'm unexplained too. DH has super swimmers, so we know it's not him. The doctor said with my unexplained, IVF is the next logical step.

I'm just anxiously waiting for my IVF cycle. I'm on CD15 and no o (not a big surprise since I didn't o in a 49 day cycle last time) so I start Prometrium on Wednesday. That should make AF get here around the middle of May, then I'll start my BCP for the IVF cycle.

 

[fisher640]

Pink, unexplained canbe frustrating but shashimi is right about everything, IVF will give them more information and a lot more control. Those were all the reasons we were gearing up for IVF when my last IUI (#5) took. I figured at least with IVF they'll be able to directly observe what's going on. IUI there's still no real control. Plus with IUI and unexplained infertility it really only takes your odds up to the average joe couple (like 10-20 % chance each cycle), but with IVF you odds will jump WAY up. I think you still have lots of reasons to be hopeful about the IVF.

 

[Jlh1980]

Stay hopeful I didn't realize how close you are, thats so exciting ill be thinking about you!
Pink I agree with everyone else and I too was in the unexplained category. My dr said most people w unexplained eventually do get pregnant eventually,and ivf will allow them to see what might have been going wrong. I know you feel confused now but hopefully as you move forward things will become clearer. Good luck and definitely go on vaca!!!!

 

[PinkPeony]

Thanks so much you guys. I feel more myself today... in a way it's not anything I didn't know on a gut level. It's actually a relief to have a doc finally acknowledge that spotting for a full week before my (2 day) period is a sign of a problem. I'm not going to let it put me in a negative mind frame. I see IVF work for lot's of unexplained ladies on here. It dodges so many potential problems. Part of me wishes I didn't do so many IUI's. Failing over and over really makes it hard to not expect things to keep trending that way.

Sashimi - I'm watching your ticker get to the very end! you must be so excited! how are you feeling??

Stayhopeful - That's awesome that you're starting your cycle so soon! Is the waiting driving you crazy? Keep us posted!

 

[Maverick007]

Hi ladies, I have been lurking for ages but would love to join you, so many of you are in the same boat as me and I am super encouraged about reading some of your success stories (Sunshine, Fisher, etc.). Congrats to you both and to the more recent BFPs I might have missed! You give the rest of us hope, that's for sure.

I just tested negative on an hpt at 13 dpiui after my 2nd IUI so I'm just trying to find the motivation to move on to IUI #3. We had told ourselves we'd do 3 before considering IVF again. Our diagnosis is mild-moderate male factor; mainly in motility. We're both 31 so still on the young side but have been trying for about 5 years off and on, and not preventing it for about 9 years. I ovulate normally as far as we know so they have me on clomid 50mg - responded well with 3 mature follicles the first IUI but only one on IUI #2.

If AF shows up when I expect her to, the next IUI would happening right around May 15th. Just trying to keep up the motivation from here!! Is anyone else gearing up for another IUI or even their first one?

 

[Sunshine24]

Hey Maverick- Just wanted to send along some positive vibes and my thoughts and prayers go out to you. It is not an easy road to travel!! Believe that you will have a happy ending though, it WILL happen. Please feel free to reach out to me if you need anything---I had 4 failed IUIs, a laparoscopy surgery, endometreosis found ( no symptoms ), and then an IVF.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Hey Pink, I'm doing okay. My biggest complaint would probably be how much my feet and ankles have swollen in the last few days but I figure it's all part of the process.

I'm really glad that you feel more like yourself today. I always found that something unexpected would happen at every single fertility visit. It doesn't help that cycle monitoring visits are always rushed and there is always a huge line up of women with the same problem. I never wanted to expected to do IVF as it just seemed so huge. I had gone to see my doctor to find out more about doing a lap and that is when he suggested IVF as my best bet and the lap could be too risky for me.

Have you thought about where you and OH might go on vacation prior to doing IVF?

 

[Strawberry13]

Hey guys I was lurking on this thread and wanted to chime in. I've had 2 iuis and have taken a break the last 2 cycles to have additional test work done as I too am "unexplained". So sunshine, sashimi, and Jlh thank you for your insight into this diagnosis and the hope that there is often a positive outcome!

Pinkpeony and maverick, my situation seems to be similar to yours in that my first dr said we were 100% unexplained. So we went to a new dr who specializes in finding the reason for unexplained bc he claims it is almost always a cause that he can at least diagnose and maybe treat. Well lo and behold he had my DH go to a urologist as he thought there may be a mild male factor (his morph is 5% which while technically normal is not ideal) and the urologist detected other potential issues that he's being tested for. My first dr still insists it isnt a problem. So I think the bottom line is that what is normal to one dr may not be good enough for another and it's all likely contributing to the months and months of bfns. And there's probably other things we're not even able to see like u guys were saying. Can I ask exactly what the debatable male factors are in your cases?

Anyway we are going on vacation in 2 weeks, am scheduled to get AF while I'm there and then hopefully onto another cycle of iui when we get back depending on the results of other tests!

 

[PinkPeony]

Welcome Strawberry & Maverick! You guys sound so similar to me! My DH has had quite a few SA's and I think they typically breakdown approx 20 mill count, +\-30% progressive motility & 20% morph. So for our IUI's we usually had 3mill or so after the wash. Strawberry, that's very cool that you're seeing someone that specializes in unexplained. Is there any extra tests they're doing on you?

Sash - that's so true that something random always comes up at these things. You'd think I'd learn to expect the unexpected by now. Wish I had some insight or advise about your swelling but I have no clue about pregnancy lol! Probably a safe bet to keep those tootsies up on a pillow and just take it easy. As for the trip - we're going to go to Paris. It's still very much up in the air bc we technically can't afford to go (esp with the dang IVF) ... But we have a good friend living there that we can stay with and he's constantly trying to coerce us to visit. Very hard to say no and it's easy for me to say we deserve it after this shit and ideally this will be our last chance to do something like this... bc dammit we're coming back and getting preg!

 

[StayHopeful]

Stayhopeful - That's awesome that you're starting your cycle so soon! Is the waiting driving you crazy? Keep us posted!

I'm going nuts with the waiting!!! Especially since I know this cycle will be another wasted one, as of this morning I haven't o'd yet and I start the prometrium tomorrow. I just want to get started with IVF. But I'm also even more nervous than I was on my IUIs. I keep feeling like because the cost is so much bigger, the stakes are so much higher. It's kind of hard to believe it's all really happening, though. DH goes in on Monday to leave a "specimen" that they'll freeze just in case and yesterday my doctor sent my prescriptions for all of my IVF drugs to some different pharmacies so I can get quotes (is it normal to be over $3000 for the drugs? ).

 

[Maverick007]

Thank you Sunshine! Really appreciate the support and since IVF is looking more and more like it's happening I will definitely keep you in mind for advice! I don't know any friends who have gone through it so it's hard. Right now the hardest thing is deciding whether to do more than 3 IUIs (being aware of the decreasing chance for success) or go to IVF if the 3rd IUI fails. My insurance covers IUI but not IVF so it's going to get super expensive.

Pink Peony- yes your situation definitely sounds similar. Do they know why your DHs numbers are low? Where are you in the process - still doing IUIs or have you moved on to IVF? I know they usually can't explain it. My husband started off really low a few years ago (around 1 million total motile) and we were not even candidates for IUI. They found a varicocele which he had surgery for in 2010. Things have improved since then but still are fluctuating recently - a few months ago he had a 39 mill total count (23 million after wash) which was amazing and prompted the RE to suggest doing IUIs, but since then, we've seen the numbers go down (13.5 mill first IUI and 9 mill second IUI). We're hoping he doesn't have another varicocele.

Strawberry- that's awesome that you have an RE that can help focus on unexplained infertility. We've never gotten a good answer as to why we're not able to get pregnant, since the counts are not so terrible as to completely make it impossible, although possibly they were for awhile due to the varicocele. It sounds like your DH doesn't have issues with count, just with other factors? We are borderline across all factors- count, motility and morphology. They have all been just below normal.

 

[Strawberry13]

Good morning guys. It's so refreshing to hear from ppl who have similar issues so I know I'm not alone!

My DH has been around 100mm total count, 60-70% motility, 2.5 forward progression on 0-4 scale, and 5% morph using strict Kruger. Our iuis were 18m and 34m post wash. So really not bad at all but the morph is debatable bc it's Kruger which says 4% is normal but we never had it done on the other scales, every dr has a different opinion on it!

Maverick sounds like ur DH has improved a lot! How many iuis have u tried so far? Sounds like it still may be worth it to try more... Also can I ask how many months it took after the surgery to be able to, ehem, enjoy his manhood again? I've heard 6 months but don't know if that's a myth!

Stayhopeful - that's very exciting that you're starting your ivf soon but stinks they're telling u it's unexplained... Do they think it has something to do w your cycles being longer?

Pink peony- the only other tests they're doing for me are post coital cultures to see if I have any bacteria that are killing sperms and also progesterone tests after ovulation, will get those tests next week. So when do u start ivf? Do they think they will do icsi or let then fertilize on their own?

 

[Maverick007]

Strawberry - wow, your DH's counts seem pretty good, although I'm not super familiar with morphology %. I think we've been around 6% for that, it's just the motility always seems to be low like 39-49%. have you done any IUIs yet or what is your plan?

we have done three IUIs total, but the first one was with a different RE over a year ago (who we did not like) so we are technically not counting that one. So two with the new RE. DH was not down for too long after surgery - I would say it was a matter of weeks before we could do much - maybe 2 weeks? He was sore for a while, maybe a month, but not in pain except for the few days immediately after. I'm just hoping another surgery will not be needed b/c I've heard the varicocele can come back. Once I get AF I think it will be IUI #3 and then we have a consult w/ the RE if it doesn't work, where I assume she'll either recommend IVF or further treatment for DH's counts.

 

[Maverick007]

Sorry! Just noticed you have a signature w/ the details. So you've done two IUIs BFN, we are definitely making the same progress then (or lack thereof).

 

[PinkPeony]

Pink Peony- yes your situation definitely sounds similar. Do they know why your DHs numbers are low? Where are you in the process - still doing IUIs or have you moved on to IVF? I know they usually can't explain it. My husband started off really low a few years ago (around 1 million total motile) and we were not even candidates for IUI. They found a varicocele which he had surgery for in 2010. Things have improved since then but still are fluctuating recently - a few months ago he had a 39 mill total count (23 million after wash) which was amazing and prompted the RE to suggest doing IUIs, but since then, we've seen the numbers go down (13.5 mill first IUI and 9 mill second IUI). We're hoping he doesn't have another varicocele.

That's interesting about the fluctuating counts and varicocele... My DH's counts have varied quite a bit too. I remember post wash counts being as high as 17 mill and as low as 900,000. He just went to the first urologist appt a couple weeks ago. They're going to have him back for an ultrasound at the end of the month. Meanwhile, we're starting down the IVF journey so it may all be moot. We've done 5 IUI's, all BFN.

Strawberry: we're probably looking at July for IVF and we'll be doing ICSI bc I'm pretty sure DH doesn't have the numbers for regular IVF.

StayHopeful: Eek!! I can imagine! I already feel like getting the show on the road. Where's my injections? Let's go! It's so much build up and so much dough to shell out - it must be tough to stay calm. I think I'll probably watch lots of cheesy movies to give my brain a break from the obsessing. Let us know how you get on.

 

[StayHopeful]

Stayhopeful - that's very exciting that you're starting your ivf soon but stinks they're telling u it's unexplained... Do they think it has something to do w your cycles being longer?

I don't think so. My cycles being long is because of PCOS and being anovulatory because of that. But I'm considered unexplained because I haven't gotten a BFP even with several cycles of ovulation induction. All of my ultrasounds and tests (dye test, water sono, etc.) came back normal. And DH's swimmers are great.

 

[Strawberry13]

Well hopefully one of us here will get our bfp soon! Iui or ivf or whatever it takes to get a bun in the oven!

Has anyone had tests on their hubbies for DNA fragmentation-either the sperm comet or scsa or sperm tunnel? That's next for us but I haven't been able to find much info on any of it from googling. Hmfp

 

[PinkPeony]

Well hopefully one of us here will get our bfp soon! Iui or ivf or whatever it takes to get a bun in the oven!

Has anyone had tests on their hubbies for DNA fragmentation-either the sperm comet or scsa or sperm tunnel? That's next for us but I haven't been able to find much info on any of it from googling. Hmfp

I don't know about the other tests but we did the DNA frag test and it came back normal.

 

[Strawberry13]

How is everyone doing this week? Any updates?

 

[Jlh1980]

Pink I was thinking about something you mentioned in your last post about the dr recommending you have another HSG which was upsetting for you. I don't know why I'm thinking about this but I was and I feel like you should ask them if it is really necessary since you are doing IVF. All that test shows is if the tubes are open which does not really matter with IVF since they completely bypass them. If I was you I would say that I did not want to do it again either unless it was absolutely necessary, which I can't understand why it would be since you are moving forward. Hope you are doing well.