3 failed IUIs. How do you cope?

[Jlh1980]

Thank you sunshine, I've been following all your threads and you are such a positive inspiration! I hope and pray you have several good eggs, after reading your story I think we all feel like we are on this journey with you! I haven't heard that many success stories w iui so hearing them gives me a little hope but I may jump right to ivf if the second one doesn't work. At this point I just want to go the route that gives me the best odds bc each month that goes by it just becomes that more devastating. The one thing that makes me nervous is that it seems like ivf is a full time job, I just don't understand how I'm supposed to do all this while working a real full time job. Ironically I'm a psychiatrist so I spend all day helping others with their struggles all the while having my own internal private struggle........ Its exhausting!

 

[Sunshine24]

Jlh-- the time commitment I felt was involved with IVF was a major deterrent for me and one of the primary reasons I didnt jump right to it after my 1st or 2nd failed IUI

Now, having been through the majority of the IVF process, I have to say--it wasnt as bad as I worried it would be. Appts are quick, and my clinic really worked to have me come in early before work or on a lunch break. I'm lucky my job is fairly flexible, but it wasnt the epic struggled I feared.

Before I began the IVf process I resigned myself to " If this is what it takes to get our baby I'm 100% onboard. " I expected the worst and felt like it didnt reallllllly get as bad as I thought. Honestly this board helped me a ton too--it was something to look forward to every night after appts and stuff. My husband is fabulous---but no one quite gets it like a woman going through it--so no matter what you do, stay on these boards, stay in touch, and it will make it easier.

Thank you for your kind words. I feel like everyone has been right along with me and that definitely has helped me stay positive. I'm looking forward to updating tomorrow after I hear from the embryologist.

 

[fisher640]

Hey guys I'm joining late in this thread but I could really use the support! After reading all these I almost want to go straight to ivf, I just failed my first Iui and I'm not feeling hopeful already. We are in the unexplained category but of course I've convinced myself I have endo although my re doesn't recommend getting a lap. I'm going for my second iui next week but deep inside I feel like we are going to have to have ivf. Anyway I could use positive thoughts by my attitude is not want I want it to be





Ttc 8 months

Me 32
Dh 34
Feb 2013 iui w femara bfn

Try not to get too frustrated, easier said than done I know. With unexplained infertility (that was our diagnosis as well) medication + IUI really only takes your odds each cycle up to a normal level, it's still not huge success rate. I had totally given up on it working when I reluctantly agreed to a 5th round while we were waiting for our IVF consult (why waste a cycle right?) and now I'm due at the end of this month from our first ever positive test

 

[Jlh1980]

Fisher thank you for those inspirational words and congrats, that's so exciting you are due in a few weeks. It's also very kind of you to stay on this forum to give support to others even though your struggle has come to an end ( thank god). We are paying for everything out of pocket so that is why I go back and forth pay more money for better odds or less for worse? I need to do my best to stay in the moment and not jump to far ahead 1 week until the 2nd iui. Again thank you for the support and good luck with your little one, at Lear we all know we will be that much more thankful when they arrive even when you are up all night!


Sunshine good luck today we are rooting for you and sending positive energy your way!!

 

[Sunshine24]

Waiting on my phone call about the eggs......worst wait ever!! Fingers crossed that 7/7 were good....but I would even be happy with 4 or 5!

 

[Sunshine24]

WELL! The results are IN! And it's good news.

6 of my 7 eggs were mature and 5 out of 7 are now fertilized!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy right now I could cry. Or scream. Or, both!

Transfer is going to be a 5 day--Saturday morning ( which is GREAT because I won't have to make up ANOTHER excuse for work ) After retrieval they are also offering me a complimentary acupuncture treatment too, which I am definitely doing.

I know the more important step is yet to come but I am feeling like this is more and more real each hurdle we overcome. Thank you for your support through this whole thing, your thoughts and prayers are working! Keep them coming....

They said unless there is a problem with one of the eggs we won't hear from them again until Saturday. FX'd my phone doesnt ring until then.

 

[Bma11]

WHOO HOO! That's amazing.

 

[Jlh1980]

So happy for you hearing that gives me strength and hope!

 

[Sunshine24]

Truth be told, I shut my office door and did a happy dance after I got the call.

 

[Chris_25]

Sunshine i'm so happy for you! I have high hopes for you

 

[tlm]

Once ER is over ET is a breeze! Good luck!!

 

[StayHopeful]

Sooooo happy for you, Sunshine!

 

[Chris_25]

How's everything going sunshine? Any new updates? So I got my surgery scheduled April 9th laporoscopy and hysteroscopy and then move on from there...

 

[Sunshine24]

Hi! Thanks for the thoughts everyone.

How great Chris that you have the surgeries scheduled! Won't be long now---you'll be on your way. The surgery is a breeze too, you will be so glad you did it.

As for me, tomorrow is my egg transfer! I cannot believe it's here, although I also feel like it's been a long, long time coming. Egg retrieval was on Monday and it was a piece of cake. I actually have documented a lot of my journey in the blog in my signature if you want to check it out.

As of yesterday ( Day three ) all 5 of our eggs that they retrieved were doing great. I called for an update and the embryologist said that 2 of them were AHEAD of where they need to be at Day 3 and then the other three ones were still very, very good quality. So it looks like we will have some good choices!

My husband and I were discussing last night whether we just go with one or try to put back two, and I think we have settled on one---although the thought of twins ( and being DONE! We're only having two kids ) is very appealing to me. Since the quality seems to be so high of the embryos I feel confident with one, but I would love two ( I think! Hahahah ) I would love to hear some ladies thoughts on that???

Thanks for checking in Chris! I will be sure to update after my transfer tomorrow. Transfer is at 830am and then I have acupuncture scheduled right after that......

 

[SashimiMimi]

Chris congrats on the surgery date!! I know it's scary but it will feel good to get answers.

Sunshine wow! ET already!!!! Tough decision on the egg transfer number. You are so lucky to have 5 eggs and have something to freeze most likely. What I wouldn't have given for that. If it was me I would go with 2 personally. I know a few women who had 2-3 put back and ended up with a single, but yes it could also result in twins. Then again I only had 1 to work with and had 1 put back and it worked.

When I do IVF again in the future if I have 2 embryos, I will definitely put 2 back. But talk to your doctor and see what his opinion is. You really have to do what feels right. Ask if there is a better chance of it being successful with 1 vs 2. Also what are the odds of twins as 2 embryos doesn't always equal twins in some cases.

Oh I'm so excited for you! On the the TWW!!!

 

[Sunshine24]

I KNOW! The 2WW, the WORST part of it all. Although in this case, I dont think it will be a full two weeks as they count the days between ER and ET as days in the wait, so I HOPE HOPE it goes quicker. My work schedule is very busy next week, which I think may be a blessing in disguise. AND I'm hosting a big dinner party at my host next weekend ( I love hosting parties, so this is not stressful ) so I will also be busy getting ready for that.

Cant wait for it to fly by!

Thank you for your advice and support and I hope you are doing well as well! xoxo

 

[Bma11]

Sunshine! Such good news. How exciting!! Everyone's situation is different. With me, I want to put back 2. But if I do ivf and it takes I'm only ever going to do it once. We've decided on one baby, but since ivf is looking like our only option..... We will put back two !!! I not so secretly want 2 kids of my own! I hope you make the best decision for your situation. You are very blessed that your insurance covers it, so right there is a big difference with a lot of us on here . I'm so excited for you!!

 

[Sunshine24]

Just curious--anybody know the odds of putting in two and ending up with three because one splits? I do have twins in my family. Two I could probably handle but three---NO WAY!

 

[Bma11]

Thinking of you today, sunshine!!!!

 

[SashimiMimi]

Sunshine I think that scenario is so rare! My cousin had IVF 13 years ago had 3 put back, 1 died, 1 split and lived and 1 lived. So she has triplets with 2 identical and 1 fraternal. I told my RE this and he thought it was lying! The odds of it happening are soooo rare. My clinic suggests selective reduction if you end up with 3 or more as multiples that high can be dangerous. It's sad to think about eliminating some of after working so hard but it's a risk to baby and mom to have 3+ babies in there.

I think if you really really really do not want twins then do 1 embryo only. The nurses at my clinic said many people put back just 1 if they are not open to the slight chance of multiples.

We are all thinking if you!!