3 months on from losing Lily

[jojo23]

Hey girls,
So its 3 months on since i lost Lily at 22 weeks, feel this is the only forum i really 'belong' to. my due date is in 4 weeks my cousin is due in 6!!!going to be a teary day!!

It has gotten a little easier to be honest but in some ways its completely changed my life. very single day i think about what happened and im so terrified that if i ever do get pregnant again it will just ruin my whole experience of being pregnant because ill be so scared. having problems with my AF at the moment and weight gain, not sure if its a hormonal thing but will make doctors appointment for thursday and see what they have to say.

Was just wondering how you all are now and how everyone is getting through things etc. i know alot of us have moved onto the other forum but feel we all have such a bond would love to be updated!!

thinking of you all your little angels!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx JO

 

[SassyLou]

Hi Jojo,

I do think its a very all consuming feeling when you loose a baby.

Its been just over three months since we lost Archie, my periods are rubbish too. I thought everything was great when I had first AF 5 weeks after having Archie, then last cycle was over 8 weeks and I definitely didn't ovulate, then had the AF from hell which lasted over 2 weeks and was really heavy!!!

I hope the doctors can sort your AF and weight gain issues out, please keep us updated.

I think if you talk to ladies who have had a pregnancy after a loss it really is a nerve racking experience, with my last pregnancy I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks, with Archie I was terrified until my 12 week scan and then I started to relax. I'm sure if we're lucky enough to get pregnant again we'll never relax.

Lovely to see you'd posted.

Lots of love to you and of course special floaty kisses to Lily.

Love Sarah xxx

 

[jojo23]

Hi Jojo,

I do think its a very all consuming feeling when you loose a baby.

Its been just over three months since we lost Archie, my periods are rubbish too. I thought everything was great when I had first AF 5 weeks after having Archie, then last cycle was over 8 weeks and I definitely didn't ovulate, then had the AF from hell which lasted over 2 weeks and was really heavy!!!

I hope the doctors can sort your AF and weight gain issues out, please keep us updated.

I think if you talk to ladies who have had a pregnancy after a loss it really is a nerve racking experience, with my last pregnancy I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks, with Archie I was terrified until my 12 week scan and then I started to relax. I'm sure if we're lucky enough to get pregnant again we'll never relax.

Lovely to see you'd posted.

Lots of love to you and of course special floaty kisses to Lily.

Love Sarah xxx

Thank Sarah, nice to know im not the only one that has had AF problems, had 2 normal ones 4 weeks apart like usual and now im in limbo 2 weeks late and definitely not in a good way

its so hard because like you at my 12 week everything was fine and i was so excited i didnt dream anything would happen after that.

Wishing you lots of luck and love hun and thinking of Archie too xxxxxxxxxxx thanks so much for the advice ill def keep you updated on the doctors visit! thanks again xxxxxxxx

 

[wish2bmum]

If I could write how I feel now, almost 3 months on, I'd write what you have above jojo. Its true that it does get easier to cope with the pain, but I think about what happend every single day. Hadn't cried for a while then last week found myself sobbing in the car driving home from work, there are a few pregnant ladies at work, and it kills me that I would have been due before them, so seeing their expnding bellies knowing mine would have been somewhere similar is hard. This particular day someone announced their pregnancy and another person I was talking to about his pregnant partner, said such things as 'your still young' 'it'll happen again' blah blah blah! I didn't think it had an effect on me but realised later that it still hurt so bad and although there are times when I don't get upset for a while, the pain is still raw and can come out of no-where!

sorry for blabbering on there

as for af, I haven't had a bleed since then so any hope of getting pregnant again before my due date is fading fast! also at doctors this week to see is there's anything they can do!

I hope your doctor can put your mind at ease with regard to your af's too. Thank you for this thread, am feeling better just by writing how I feel down

 

[wish2bmum]

Have you thought of anything you'd like to do on your due date ladies ?? x

 

[jojo23]

If I could write how I feel now, almost 3 months on, I'd write what you have above jojo. Its true that it does get easier to cope with the pain, but I think about what happend every single day. Hadn't cried for a while then last week found myself sobbing in the car driving home from work, there are a few pregnant ladies at work, and it kills me that I would have been due before them, so seeing their expnding bellies knowing mine would have been somewhere similar is hard. This particular day someone announced their pregnancy and another person I was talking to about his pregnant partner, said such things as 'your still young' 'it'll happen again' blah blah blah! I didn't think it had an effect on me but realised later that it still hurt so bad and although there are times when I don't get upset for a while, the pain is still raw and can come out of no-where!

sorry for blabbering on there

as for af, I haven't had a bleed since then so any hope of getting pregnant again before my due date is fading fast! also at doctors this week to see is there's anything they can do!

I hope your doctor can put your mind at ease with regard to your af's too. Thank you for this thread, am feeling better just by writing how I feel down

Blabber away hun its the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes lol. I woke up this morning and had gotten AF!! relieved in a way cause i know i can move on to another month. really hope you get some answers.

seeing pregnant people or new little babies is the one thing that gets my heart strings every time. i dread seeing my cousin cause i want to be happy for her but i cant help be a little jealous!!! guess its just the way things turn out!

i really dont know what to do on my due dat, my lovely boyfriend is amazing but hes not one bit emotional so i imagine ill prob be doing something on my own as he'll more than likely be working anyway. i had hoped to be away on holidays for it but now im glad im staying here. i might release some balloons and put some flowers on her little grave! have you any thoughts hun xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

Believe me I know how you feel. I lost my Ava at 18 weeks 10 weeks ago and I am 40 and I have 3 boys 20,17 and 11 and Ava was such a little surprise Then I lost her and I am left here to visit a grave every day Does it get easier? I don't know , one day I am ok and then the next I am hysterical crying. Every Sunday I count what I would have been I would have been 29 weeks this Sunday We did try this month , but now I am thinking maybe it is just time for me to move on . I will be 41 in June and I have my family and I never thought of having another until Ava appeared Now she is all I think about, but do I want to get pregnant again because I lost her or because it is the right thing to do? I just don't know. Sometimes it is so hard to move on and close the book but sometimes it's the right thing to do and I think for me I should just let it be I am so sorry for everyones loss and I hope everyone feels stronger as each day goes on

 

[jojo23]

Believe me I know how you feel. I lost my Ava at 18 weeks 10 weeks ago and I am 40 and I have 3 boys 20,17 and 11 and Ava was such a little surprise Then I lost her and I am left here to visit a grave every day Does it get easier? I don't know , one day I am ok and then the next I am hysterical crying. Every Sunday I count what I would have been I would have been 29 weeks this Sunday We did try this month , but now I am thinking maybe it is just time for me to move on . I will be 41 in June and I have my family and I never thought of having another until Ava appeared Now she is all I think about, but do I want to get pregnant again because I lost her or because it is the right thing to do? I just don't know. Sometimes it is so hard to move on and close the book but sometimes it's the right thing to do and I think for me I should just let it be I am so sorry for everyones loss and I hope everyone feels stronger as each day goes on

I know what you mean Andrea, i feel sometimes if i 'try' ill be putting myself under pressure and that maybe i should leave it to fate but i definitely know i want a baby not because i lost Lily but because losing her made me realise how precious life is and how it can change in an instant. i have so much love to give and i know id be a great mother!

tour right to do what you fel hun but trust me 40 is nothing these days, my auntie just had a baby bot at 45!! perfectly healthy little buster he is! but if you feel you might be doing it for thw wrong reasons then we'll all uspport you!!

Like you theres days im fine and im laughing and then it hits me about what happened, ill never forget but i have moved on a little, i cant stay in the past forever, if i did i might miss an amazing opportunity!

I hope everything works out for you...keep me updated huni xxxxxxxx kisses to Ava xxxxxxxxx