30 and TTC #1 with Long 6 Week Cycle

[ksquared726]

Hi! DH and I are TTC #1. We're both 30 and this is my third cycle of trying. Currently 10dpo and going crazy! Going to test on Saturday. My body always has little twinges and symptoms every cycle, so every month I say to DH "I think it happened!" And then BFN, and then AF arrives. It's especially stressful because I have a long cycle, a little over 6 weeks each time. This last month was the first time I used the Ovia app to track my cycles. So, it looks like I ovulate around CD 23-24, and then AF around CD 44. Went off the pill at the end of May and cycles have been at slightly over 6 weeks each time. So I'm always WAITING.

This month, DH and I really focused and I think the timing was good. DTD a lot leading up to O and then some more after just in case. Then at 4dpo I had this odd feeling, like just really warm in my core but not like a fever, and then I had a little drop of brown once when I went to the restroom - like IB. Lots of CM too but now that's tapering off. A couple of days ago a really sharp pain in my ribs that lasted until yesterday, but maybe not related. Sometimes dizzy, sometimes slightly nauseous (but I get that anyway - my body is weird and likes to play tricks on me). Would love to meet some of you and hear your journeys so far. It's comforting to read everyone else's posts and know that no matter how hard I try, I just won't be able to tell if I'm pregnant until I get to take the test. Saturday is so far away! I'm already setting my mind up for disappointment though.

 

[cutestuff]

I am also 30-ish (next week is my b-day) and this is my 5th cycle of TTC. Though I only count 3 of those months because of the timing of bding. I am planning to test Saturday or Sunday too. For me, I normally have 3-4 days of pre- menstrual spotting and so far, I have not seen any of that. I did notice more cm that is tapering off, but what is most convincing is that I can no longer feel my cervix- its almost like the week I ovulated, and my boobs are pretty sore and my nipples are pretty tender, but every time I stop to think I could be pregnant, I start my period or even better someone around me ends up making an announcement. I hope this is our month....

 

[ksquared726]

Baby dust to you too!! Yay, we can be test buddies. Your symptoms sound very promising then! I feel like every month is different with me, so it's so hard to tell. But because I haven't felt much over the last couple of days, besides dizzyness, then it probably didn't happen for me. I haven't been tracking my cervix, but today mine was low and soft and closed. Not sure what that means. Do you normally get sore boobs? I don't, so if that happened to me I'd definitely think it was a sign. And I assumed I would get nauseous. Just a few more days!

 

[cutestuff]

Every month I seem to convince myself I have sore boobs, and right now they are not that bad, but what is different about this month is like I said, no spotting and I can't feel my cervix. The months I had bfns I was always able to feel my cervix the week my period was supposed to start. So I typically test 2 weeks of the month. The first is when I ovulate and the second is the week my period starts. So I don't know. I don't seem to have as many symptoms today as I did earlier this week, but I know when you symptom spot, it can create symptoms where there are none.The biggest thing is that I when I touch my nipples, they are super sensitive.... so who knows.....

 

[ksquared726]

Fingers crossed for you, cutestuff!! Hopefully you'll get a special birthday present!

 

[cutestuff]

broke down and tested today on a digital. negative. fucking asshole test. started spotting some this morning (after sliding out on black ice.) may have tested too soon cause it seems as though the spotting may have stopped. IDK. I plan to watch and see if it progresses because I still cannot feel my cervix. I bought a cheap dye test today thinking maybe my hormones are too low for the digital. But, if I am spotting and don't have as many noticeable symptoms today as I did earlier this week I am thinking the test was probably right unless my body is just fucking with me... any thoughts would be appreciated.....

 

[ksquared726]

I'm so sorry . Yikes about the black ice! You said you normally have some spotting before your period, so it could be that. But, on the BFP announcements I've read a ton where they didn't have many symptoms at all. So until you get your period, you're not out of the game yet! Also like you said, it could be too early for the tests to detect a BFP. When is your expected period? If you're late, then give it a couple more days and test again with the cheapy. If you're not late yet, then for your sanity you might just want to hold off and see if AF comes. Getting another BFN at this point may still be too early and will only make you go crazy. Hang in there!

I haven't had any symptoms still either. I get the feeling that I have to try again next cycle, but I'm trying to stay positive. Had some left pelvic pain and my right boob has a dull throb, and sometimes I feel a sharp pain near my navel. But that's it. I'll definitely let you know once I test on Saturday.

 

[cutestuff]

I hope you get your bfp. I was supposed to start today or tomorrow. I tested with both (couldn't resist) but your right, the spotting has stopped for now and I don't see any signs one way or the other. I think the tests were right, but like you said, if this is my first real "late" day, I should wait till next weekend and re test to make sure. It just sucks cause I really thought this might be it. I never thought I would be one of those people who take a while to get pregnant or even one of those people tempted to post a BFN but no AF post for venting... I thought it would be easy and it would just happen..... it sucks....

 

[ksquared726]

I totally thought it would be quick and easy too. We've spent so much of our adult lives preventing it, who knew it would be so hard to actually get pregnant? And 3 cycles isn't that long compared to people who take a year or more. My sister has 3 beautiful kids and it seemed so easy for her - like 1 or 2 months and boom, pregnant. I figured I would be the same. *sigh*

Approximately 20 hours left until I test. Thank you for the good wishes!

 

[ksquared726]

And a BFN for me. . It felt like that was going to be the result, but it still hurts.

AF isn't expected until Nov. 24 because of my weird long cycles, so I guess I'm not officially out until then. I was just reading another person's success story on here and she didn't get her BFP until 20dpo. And she had the stitch behind her bellybutton like I have. So, I guess it's still possible. Are you avoiding alcohol during this whole TTC process? I have been except during the times between AF and O day, but sometimes I just really want some wine. I also need to get more tests. I'll wait until AF until I get more OPKs.

 

[cutestuff]

I am sorry about the negative test. I would recommend re tesing at the end of the week closer to the expected start of your af. You may have tested too early. But I am officially out for this cycle. See you in a few weeks if you don't gettin the positive.

 

[ksquared726]

I'm sorry to hear that AF showed up . FX that next month is our month.

 

[cutestuff]

And a BFN for me. . It felt like that was going to be the result, but it still hurts.

AF isn't expected until Nov. 24 because of my weird long cycles, so I guess I'm not officially out until then. I was just reading another person's success story on here and she didn't get her BFP until 20dpo. And she had the stitch behind her bellybutton like I have. So, I guess it's still possible. Are you avoiding alcohol during this whole TTC process? I have been except during the times between AF and O day, but sometimes I just really want some wine. I also need to get more tests. I'll wait until AF until I get more OPKs.

I am sorry about your results. I would definitely test again at the end of the week. you may have tested too early if you were expecting a long cycle. I am still spotting, but I think af is starting today cause I am crampy and there is more blood. I think we are doing something right cause I was late, so maybe I need to just keep going and eventually it will happen. As for alcohol, I have never been too much of a drinker, but I will on occasion have a glass or a bottle of wine while on my period. I won't typically open the bottle until I am on the second or third day of my period just to make sure it is a normal cycle for me, but then I will avoid it from the end of my period on because alcohol can stay in your system for a good 2-3 days (I know this because I used to be a drug and alcohol counselor and there is a 72 hour test for alcohol). I guess now I just wait for the next cycle and tell myself that I can be late and I can get pregnant I just need to maybe tack on a couple days to the end of my fertile window and see if I can't get the husband to have sex some additional times.... we will see. I would love to keep up with each other and support each other through this process and if one of us gets a bfp before the other, it would be nice to have someone who was a member of this group who would answer the questions I have........

 

[ksquared726]

I am sorry about your results. I would definitely test again at the end of the week. you may have tested too early if you were expecting a long cycle. I am still spotting, but I think af is starting today cause I am crampy and there is more blood. I think we are doing something right cause I was late, so maybe I need to just keep going and eventually it will happen. As for alcohol, I have never been too much of a drinker, but I will on occasion have a glass or a bottle of wine while on my period. I won't typically open the bottle until I am on the second or third day of my period just to make sure it is a normal cycle for me, but then I will avoid it from the end of my period on because alcohol can stay in your system for a good 2-3 days (I know this because I used to be a drug and alcohol counselor and there is a 72 hour test for alcohol). I guess now I just wait for the next cycle and tell myself that I can be late and I can get pregnant I just need to maybe tack on a couple days to the end of my fertile window and see if I can't get the husband to have sex some additional times.... we will see. I would love to keep up with each other and support each other through this process and if one of us gets a bfp before the other, it would be nice to have someone who was a member of this group who would answer the questions I have........

That's good to know about the alcohol. I'm not sure what to do in social situations because we haven't told anyone we're TTC, except one of my best friends. Unless I'm in my TWW, I'll have one glass just to avoid awkward questions. With all of the holidays coming up, people will notice if I refused it because I usually have a glass of wine. Plus I'm a terrible liar, so the whole "I can't drink because of medication" or "I'm on a special diet" wouldn't work.

Yeah that's odd that you were late this cycle. It could be stress related, or it could be like you said that it just didn't stick! I hope it's the latter, because yeah that means you're doing something right. I went to a nurse practitioner about my long cycles last month, and when I asked about how often to have sex she said to not do it for like a week right before ovulation. That way it saves up a bunch of sperm. But, after reading a bunch of articles online and posts on here, I don't think that's a good plan because you could easily miss your fertile window. So I'm just going to try to do it at least every other day if it's leading up to the fertile window, and for the week after just to be sure. And every day for the actual fertile window. I'm not worried about sperm count or quality. And we've been avoiding the jacuzzi and eating healthier. It'll just be a matter of time!

Oh yeah, I bought a bunch of pregnancy and OPKs online today. I know I said I wouldn't until AF, but I couldn't resist because I'm all out of First Respose ones. So I bought these cheapies that had good reviews on Amazon, and I'll use one of those this weekend maybe. It came with 50 OPKs and 20 pregnancy tests, so I'm hoping that means I'll get a BFP soon and they'll go to waste, ha ha.

I would love to keep in touch with you too! It's so nice to have people who understand what I'm going through, especially since we're trying to keep it secret from friends and family. I think everyone assumes we're trying, but they're nice enough to not ask about it. If one of us gets a BFP first, then yes I definitely will want to know or will respond to any and all questions!

 

[cutestuff]

You are funny with your OPKs and pregnancy tests.... I don't know you well, but I would like to offer you a thought about the drinking- unsolicited I know, take it or leave it....I would say regardless of who knows about the ttc, you are getting older and can choose if and when you want to drink. I doubt one glass will harm anything, but why not tell people you are cutting back cause you don't feel it necessary to drink? If they ask more about that, then maybe you say with your longer cycles you want to try cutting things out to try and normalize them. It's not really a lie and your decisions are your prerogative so maybe you even say you would rather not discuss it or it is not up for discussing you are just cutting back on drinking..... I am in a better position because like I say I never was much of a drinker but it could be weird for sure if the people I hung out with were drinkers and they drank around me or expected me to drink with them... good luck.... and let me know if you want to chat more.....

 

[ksquared726]

I'm sorry I've been MIA the past few days. I wasn't obsessing over TTC, so I figured I'd just let myself forget for a little while. Thank you so much for the advice. I actually had a social event on Tuesday where everyone was drinking. I'm not a big drinker either, but I'm such a bad liar and even innocent questions where my answer would be half truths would be super awkward. I'd rather just totally fly under the radar. So I decided to just order a glass of wine and I took a few sips, and no one seemed to notice that I wasn't really drinking it. I hope that keeps working! The next social event besides Thanksgiving will be right in my fertile window, so I'll have to do the same thing.

Today I started feeling the beginnings of AF, so I should get it in the next couple of days. If I don't have it by Saturday I'll try one of my new pregnancy tests. I have 20 of them, after all!

So by the end of next week, you'll be in your fertile window again, right? You're so lucky you have a regular cycle! Let me know if you want to talk about anything .

 

[crazycatlady5]

Hey girls, mind if I join in. I'm not 30, but I'm 29 so I feel like I'm getting there. And if also been having 40 day cycles so am with you on that frustration!

I feel like I can relate to your alcohol situation, I'm also a terrible liar and normally have a glass of wine. My husbands been saying I should say I'm
On a no alcohol diet but I know that will not work whatsoever as that's the least likely thing I would ever do. I'm also not telling people other than my best friend that I'm trying. So what I've been doing is drinking during my period, and then the first week after having maybe one glass of wine as since my cycles are so long seems really unlikely I'd be ovulating at that time. During fertile time I feel like it's really just not worth risking it as I've heard it can kill the baby and you'd likely never know you were pregnant. So I'll just say I'm not drinking tonight, no ones really asked further as to why not. I had a couple closer friends that were there one time when I wasn't drinking and I just said I was off the pill and we weren't quite trying yet but my period was late so just better safe than sorry but I told them it was unlikely so to down play it. I was ok with them knowing that much as I'm close with them too. You could also say you're driving or not feeling well. If you normally have one glass of wine and drive say you already had a glass earlier. I think it's fine during your period and the week after but after that I wouldn't.

 

[cutestuff]

welcome crazycatlady. It is nice to have someone else in the group. Alcohol is a weird thing because you really can't predict anything with it, but as long as you are not getting shithoused, I say go for it. It will only help you relax and if you are ttc, relaxation is good, but if you can avoid it, that is probably better. and ksquared: my cycles were fine until ttc. This cycle was 31 days and my period is going for an extra day so I think I may have had a loss or something because this is such a strange cycle while I normally do vary from a 27-30 day cycle, 31 days is longer than I am used to and the extra day of bleeding is a bit strange too... I will keep my fingers crossed, but you know what. I will choose to believe it will happen and when it does, the time I spent ttc will help me appreciate it that much more and will help me appreciate my child(ren) that much more, which is important. and you do the same. I am here to vent to and would love to keep up the support.

 

[ksquared726]

Welcome, crazycatlady! It's nice to talk to someone who can relate to my super long cycles. Yeah, it's so tough. We actually have a work outing for the holidays planned where it's literally going out for drinks. I've read several articles online that say that 1 drink won't hurt, so I'm going to stick with that philosophy for the 2 or 3 social engagements during my next cycle. After the holidays, I should be clear until late Feb. when I have another work thing. Hopefully I'll be pregnant by then and I'd just tell them I can't drink!

So I stayed home sick today and decided to take one of my new pregnancy tests. It was a BFN, as expected. Hoping AF arrives tomorrow so I can reset.

Cutestuff- I'm so with you. I feel like it will happen when it's supposed to and then all of this frustration will be behind me. And I think I'll appreciate being a parent a bit more for it too. It's hard to tell if other people I know who are pregnant or recently had kids went through a long process or not. It seems so easy for them when you're on the outside looking in. I guess I shouldn't judge. But there was another person on my Facebook who announced she's pregnant with her 3rd, ugh. That's why I mostly avoid Facebook - so I don't have to see all of the photos of perfect little families with their smiling little kids.

How are you ladies feeling this weekend? Crazycatlady - what's your journey been like so far?

 

[crazycatlady5]

My husband and I got married in April and he was ready to have kids right away! So now we've decided to start trying, and This is my second month ttc. Last month I felt like I had lots of symptoms but then af showed up, I think it was all hormones acting up from going off the pill. This month I feel normal so far. It's CD26. So should be ovulating around now according to my app on my phone and my super long cycles...

I had been on the pill for nearly 10 years so didn't know what to expect, but I think these long cycles are here to stay and not just a side effect from going off the pill since I am pretty sure before I was on it I had long cycles, of course back then I thought nothing of it!

What are your stories?

I hate the bfn. I need to make myself wait longer to test this month! And I've noticed that since I started ttc all of a sudden there are pregnant women and babies everywhere!