30 something and TTC #1 for a year

[MrsPTTC]

Sarah, glad your cycles are better now. Sorry you’ve had to up the clomid, but it can only increase your chances! Wish I could’ve upped mine…Well I could’ve but without FS consent but didn’t dare!

Thank you Aleja, I wouldn’t say I’m either positive or negative at this point. I have no symptoms whatsoever, but normally get them & am not pg so maybe it is a good sign! What’s happened with your AF?

Gettingbroody – so sorry about your news hun but glad you’re thinking positive about the IVF! Bummer you can only afford one round though. Make sure you get tested first before you go down that route, just in case there are any progesterone issues or egg quality issues that can be improved before you spend that much money!

AFM, DH 2nd SA results came back today. Everything is still fine but some things have gone up, some gone down (which I'm pee'd off at as he's been on the vits & maca & stopped smoking since Jan so it should've gone up!) Concentration has gone down from 96 to 51m/ml, motility 55 down to 53%, motile conc (whatever that means) down from 43 to 19 m/ml (big jump ) however morphology has gone up from 6 to 10% and volume from 2ml to 4. NB these are all based on the WHO manual as I know different FS use different measurements. I used a different hospital to where my FS is based, as at my hospital they make you do it there, whereas the other one you can take it in. So I'll need to email him or show him the results at my next appt (3 weeks on wed woo hoo!)

Almost finished my 2ww, 9-10 DPO (I think 10 due to my cyst pain that night) I wanted to test tomorrow but DH would rather wait until AF is due tues/wed. TBH I am scared anyway! REALLY hope she stays away or I will be au naturel (no clomid) next month ! x

 

[mk8]

Hi girls... Quick post. Spotting started... I'm devastated. Will read everybody's posts and write a proper message later.

 

[mk8]

Hi girls, I am back!

Aleja- Best of luck with ICSI. I have heard that acupuncture can help so maybe it is worth a try. If you do go for it, try your hardest to relax as I was so tense the first time round. The second try was much easier and more relaxing. Tell us more about ICSI.

Hi MrsG. How are you doing? I was wondering, is your DH on any vitamins?

Hi Macca- Welcome! The girls here are wonderful. The good news is that there is sperm and there are healthy eggs. So there is therefore hope. Are you in the UK? Best of luck with IUI. Not sure if you know yet but will you be taking injectables with it too?

MrsP- YAY to the swimmers of Mr P. Woopee!

Sarah- What day to you typically O on Clomid? Hope the higher dosage works for you!



GettingBroody- sorry about DH's results. I hope that you will get some useful information when you finally get through to the docs. In the meantime, hope that you are enjoying the weekend.

As for me, CD28 and I was just starting to get hope that this could be my month girls. I typically have 27 day cycles and I tend to start spotting on day 27. Nothing yesterday, nothing the whole day today and then BAM. 9pm I see spotting. Pink tinged CM. I was devastated. I didn't really have hope this cycle until today and just when that hope crept it, AF makes a preview. I should have known really. I got my positive OPK later this cycle so AF should also come later. 17 cycles, 5th one on Clomid, well timed BD and still a big fat nothing. I'm worried that my tubes are blocked, I'm worried about having to go for IVF, I am worried that they cannot figure out what is wrong and I still can't get pregnant. So many things to worry about. I was in the car this evening on a long drive home and I just couldnt help but wonder why other gets pregnant so easily and my hubby and I cant. We are good people, we love one another, both earn an honest living, good to our family and friends. Sigh. But I need to cling on to my hope. It will happen right girls? It will happen for all of us...

 

[aleja]

hi mk, darl i really hope the spotting is a false alarm and that af just never shows up. we are well overdue for a BFP on this thread and hope it is you and MrsP this month.
when you were talking about sitting in the car thinking about "Why us?" I have these conversations with myself every day practically. sometimes life is not fair...some people get their BFP's after a night of cheap wine!! while others have to fork out hundreds or thousands on intrusive and emotionally draining medical tests and procedures. I think it is too soon for you to throw in the IVF flag just yet...there is some other tests they can do to see what the problem is. So in case the Clomid did not work again then i would absolutely insist on a HSG. If there is nothing wrong with your tubes and ovaries, well maybe a IUI may help? IVF is the very last resort and i think you are still a long way from this.

MrsP, i think dpo10 is way too early to test and if you did you may be disappointed because you may not see anything....i know the next few days will be hard but imagine how AWESOME it will feel if at the end of this is a beautiful double line As for your Dh's results, i was feeling a little bit envious I can only wish my DH had so many healthy, able bodied spermy!!!!! at least you can absolutely be sure that sperm quality is not the issue here. i hope the one champion sperm met your lovely egg this month x

Broody, do you know roughly what your Dh's results were? i know what you mean about IVF sometimes coming as a welcome relief. This is how I felt (after having a mini-breakdown after the reality hit home of course!!!) Where do you live? yes it is very expensive that is for sure. If Male factor is the main issue then you may need to do ICSI which is even more expensive but has better outcomes for shonky sperm We have some savings that I was planning to use during maternity leave......ha! well that have now gone out the window now that we will need the money to actually try to have the baby!!!
The good news is that if you are young (and from memory you are 30?) then IVF success is even better..I think up to 45% chance of pregnancy per cycle at your age.

Looking forward to hearing about your FS appointment.

Sarah: good luck darl

Me: I feel so pre menstrual today AF is coming but please please let her come tomorrow at the earliest....i am supposed to start the injections one day after my AF starts but I haven't had the nurse orientation yet (it is tomorrow morning)....i guess they can rush through all the procedures and teach me how to use them etc but it will feel I am rushing just so i can start the cycle...not how i intended to be during my first ever icsi cycle. Yikes.

The other drama i had was that on Friday afternoon I finally went to that local acupunture place to see if they did ivf acu....what a mistake that was. The woman who owns the place was an absolute insensitive witch. I couldn't believe how she spoke to me and I was gobsmacked. She pretty much told me that IVF does not work and that why am I bothering to do it. She said there is no such thing is relaxation acu during IVF and that it was useless during a procedure when you are not treating the underlying problem of male factor. i was completely demoralised and came home in a fluster.
i think i will give Acu a miss this cycle and look for a proper person who is sensitive to infertility issues...

 

[mk8]

Hi Aleja, I'm do sorry that you came across such an insensitive and I'll informed cow at the acupuncture clinic.

Ivf does work and there have been studies to show that acupuncture can help couples undergoing ivf. There have also been studies that show it does not impact anything but I guess it all depends on the control group used. Sadly acupuncture didn't help me this cycle, af arrived this morning. But dh and I agreed i would give it another go this month. I found it relaxing and i do believe it can help with general health and that can't be a bad thing when TTC right?

I would suggest researching on the Internet to find a practitioner who specialises in fertility acupuncture. You may find it isn't for you but I think it's worth looking into.

 

[MrsPTTC]

MK – thanks hun. I know I feel exactly the same way, worried about needing IVF, worried in case we’re one of the rare couples where our egg & sperm just don’t like each other! But I’m sure it will happen – for all of us. And DH has even said if it comes to it then we can even use a donor! Sorry you’ve started spotting hun Hope the doesn’t show!

Aleja – I’m so sorry, how insensitive of me posting DH results when your DH’s weren’t great. I didn’t think! Thanks for your positive vibes, FX’d! Yes I know 10DPO is pretty early, but I think I’m actually 11DPO today and 11/12DPO are pretty good statistics for a BFP showing up. But never mind DH doesn’t want me to test so I’ll see what the next few days bring! Hun don’t let that stupid accupuncturist put you off! How ridiculous – IVF doesn’t work, I mean WTF? . Sorry she made you feel so stupid, but she is the stupid one!

 

[mk8]

Hey girlies,

Hope you all had a great weekend. I had an emotional breakdown last night - got into bed and bawled. Haven't done that in ages. Hubby was lovely and said that he is still hopeful that it will happen for us. He kept reminding me that it's nothing to be ashamed about and we should just be open to our friends and family. But I said I am not ready for that yet. To be honest, I am a bit ashamed. Whilst I wouldn't think this of someone else in my position, I can't help but feel like a bit of a failure. I also don't want to tell people because I don't want to talk about it with too many people. Meeting up with friends and talking about other things in life is what makes me sane. For the first time ever last night, I didn't want to go somewhere where I will see kids. We were meant to visit my bro/sis in law and their little ones today but last night, I said I didnt want to go.

But I woke up this morning and decided I need to get on with my life and went to see them. Had a nice day and felt fine. When I went to the loo this morning and wiped (I don't think there is anything as too much information between us gals anymore! LOL) I saw bright red blood so I stuck on a sanitary towel before heading out. Oddly, just a couple of spots of brown tinged CM the whole day. I obviously have a teensy bit of hope, but deep down, I know that AF is flying in very soon. I can feel it. I am wondering why I am spotting for two days before AF though. Is it low progesterone? Is it endometriosis? Is it hormonal imbalance? So many questions!

MrsP- I hope this cycle is it for you, I really do. We need some BFP news pronto!

 

[aleja]

Hi mrsP please dont feel bad about posting your dh's great results it is something worth being happy about. I have no issues with it at all as I have now accepted my own dh's low sperm. I guess for me knowing what the actual problem is is much easier to handle. I think all of you are so strong because I read about all your determination each month and i wsh i could be like that if i knew we were both fertile. I think it is the uncertainty of not knowing why no bfp which would send me into a dark place.
Mk I hope you will feel better soon . Maybe u will not be getting AF ? Can u do a POAS just in case ? I find it hard to be around kids too these days and like u were haven't told anyone whats going on. It is very isolating and lonely but At least I have you ladies. Yesterday I saw my beautiful nephew who is the only baby I love seeing. My brother And SIL were already talking about when they have their second one! From that conversation I gathered it will happen soon . I wish it was as easy for all of us xxx

 

[MrsPTTC]

Aw thanks aleja, glad you're not upset with me. I think you're very strong too & have accepted DH's SA results really well. Looking forward to hearing about your IVF journey!

MK, I find it difficult being around babies too. Just walking past one at the shops makes my heart sink. But then I guess you don't know what the mind have gone through to have them, they could've been on a similar rollercoaster I guess! RE your spotting, as a chronic spotter I know that 2 days before AF is completely normal hun. In fact my FS said my occasional 6dpo onwards spotting was normal, but I'm not so sure!

x

 

[mk8]

Mrsp, fellow spotter. The things we deal with eh.

I wonder sometimes wherher i have endo, spotting can be a symptom. Have you ever wondered?. Given I havent conceived yet , I can't help but wonder something must be up. Right now, I can only think that it could be:
- low progesterone
- endo
- blocked tubes

 

[mk8]

Ps mrs p- did you ever find out your prog level result pre and post starting clomid?

 

[aleja]

Mk: I don't know much about any of these conditions except what I have picked up from general knowledge but here it goes...
Progesterone - what were your cd21 results like. Ie your hormone levels ? Spotting is normal and there is things you can do to increase your progesterone .. I think the Acupuncture will help with this.

Endo - have you had a vaginal ultrasound to see your uterus? do u get bad period pains and bleeding ? My friends who have endo have horrendous AF and pains but of course you can have a mild case where you wouldnt have the symptoms

Blocked tubes- definitely a Hsg is needed to check it out. Minor blockages can be fixed too

There are other tests which can check all sorts of things such as thyroid levels, ovarian reserve (AMH) , immunology to see if you have anti bodies causing the egg and sperm to not meet and sperm DNA fragmentation which can cause failure to implant. There is probably a million more tests but I guess you need a sympathetic FS. How long till your appointment ?

 

[mk8]

Hi Aleja

My day 21 prog was 26nmol/l (ideally ought to be >30)

Had a transvaginal ultrasound and they said everything was normal. But I've read that only laparoscopies can diagnose endo.

Hoping for an hsg soon!!!!!!

Appointment end of this month. I can't wait. Clearly going a bit nuts here in unknown land. Sigh, need to snap out of this but it's so hard. Feel really sad today for some reason. My sodding af still hasn't come properly though my spitting is heavier and boobs less tender so no doubt af will say hi any time now. My acupuncturist wanted to see me whilst I'm on clomid (final cycle now- number 6). Going to exercise regularly this month as I found exercise made me o a day or two earlier in the past. All for good health I guess. Going to try to eat well and somehow, feel happy and relaxed.

How's everybody else?

 

[MrsPTTC]

Hi MK, I don't think just a lap can diagnose it though that's the only way to get it zapped. If you think about it a lap is an operation & I can't imagine them doing one unless they already know you have endo, though I might be wrong. They can measure your lining via TV u/s so I would've thought they would be able to see endo? I was offered a lap as opposed to a HSG due my pain during BD but decided to try the HSG. Wish I'd gone for the lap now as they could've got rid of my cyst. Hindsight is a great thing lol Endo has never been mentioned to me so I assume it would've been picked up in my tests... He didn't give me my progesterone results, only that it was low & I didn't ovulate. I've not had another test since but I'm going to ask him for another one when I go back on 25th. What's your cm like? I wonder if I'm hostile (I'm very dry) & that's our reason.

It looks like I'm out, probably no 2012 baby for me however had a great month spotting wise!

x

 

[GettingBroody]

Hey girls!

Well I went and met the dr today and got the print-out of dh's results. They're fairly similar to yours Aleja. (Normal ranges in brackets.)

Concentration 2mill/ml (>15mill/ml)
Motile Concentration 10% (>40%) (Aleja, I notice your FS said normal >20?)
Normal Morphological Forms 1% (>4%)

In the prepared sample the numbers were bit better I think - hope that's a good sign...
Concentration 3.6mill/ml (>5mill/ml)
Motile Concentration 33% (>80%)

So overall they're at the very low end of low Dr said its very doubtful we'd get pg without help. The FS says that based on the sample we are suitable for ICSI treatment only.

So I guess me and dh need to sit down tonight and talk everything through. And then it's a phonecall to the FS tomor and hopefully we won't be waiting too long for an apt... I'm very glad now that I didn't know the exact numbers of the first SA. I think I would have been very stressed waiting for the second set. They have actually improved since the first test but only marginally.

Need to start googling everything now I think! Aleja, have you looked at any of the ICSI forums? Any you'd recommend?

 

[GettingBroody]

PS Mk8 and MrsP.

 

[mk8]

Hey mrs p, hope you're wrong about this month and this is indeed your month.

Going for bloods is a great idea, especially as you were not ovulating before.

What kind if pain did you have during bd hun? Have you had a pelvic ultrasound?

 

[mk8]

Hi broody, our posts crossed.

How are you and mr broody feeling hun?

Remind me where you live.

 

[GettingBroody]

Hi broody, our posts crossed.

How are you and mr broody feeling hun?

Remind me where you live.

Feeling surprisingly ok to be honest, just want to get things started now. Although I was just looking at the IVF/ICSI threads and the amount of people who are onto their 2nd and 3rd rounds of ICSI kinda freaked me out. Might have to stop reading, need to stay positive! And to answer your second question we're in Ireland...

 

[mk8]

Hey Broody, I am glad you are doing OK. I think it is best to stay away from the internet sometimes. Hearing negative stories can really impact you. Only search for success stories I say! I was asking where you are as I wondered if you are eligible for IVFon the NHS or insurance. I had a look at my local hospital's fertility clinic (where I will be going) and I came across IVF costs- a lot cheaper than going fully private.

AF arrived properly for me after lunch, which I am glad about as I didn't want several days of spotting. I find it unerving, like something is wrong as I never used to spot like this before I started TTC. I wonder whether it is stress related. I was stressed from cycle 1 of TTC!

For those of you interested in acupuncture, I am off to see my acupuncturist on Wed - she wanted to see me whilst I am on clomid. This is my last cycle on the stuff and tbh, I am quite pleased to see the end of it. It didn't do much for me. I also do reflexology but I think I will give up this cycle. All this rushing about for fertility related appointments is kinda getting on my nerves and I have tried reflexology on and off since the beginning and it hasn't worked so far. Maybe it's time to just chillax.