30-Something Moms!

[Turtle0630]

Hey ladies, I was hoping I could take a minute to vent, and you guys are the ones that would understand the most. So DH and his boss got into it a little bit today (which I know is never a good thing). I don't know what was said exactly between them to lead up to this, but his boss ended up asking him what was wrong with him and his wife since we don't have kids yet. She then proceeded to say that if we ever "bother" to have kids, it will make him better at his job. As I'm sure you can all guess, that really hit DH and I hard as we've struggled with infertility and are getting ready to start the adoption process. All he said back to her was that he didn't agree with her at all, and that it takes a lot to offend him but that she had done just that. I personally think he should have told her we've been trying for 1.5 years, that we suffer from infertility and that we're having to adopt since we can't have our own. Not that it's any of her business at all, but just to make her realize what a shitty thing that was to say to someone. Needless to say, that has led to lots of tears on my part today as it really, really stung (and made me furious at the same time). And of course this has to come on the heels of 2 of DH's best friends having babies in the last week (which he was telling me just last night he was feeling sad and down about). He's applying for a transfer out of her department tomorrow. I'm glad he didn't just walk out of his job, as we need the money, but I wouldn't have been upset or blamed him in the least if he had.

Katie, congrats on a baby girl! I had a feeling as well. I LOVE the name you chose btw! Beautiful!

Christine, I'm really sorry about your BFN. I'm glad to hear the ice cream helped a little though! There's not much that ice cream won't help at least a little with, right?

Randi, love the pic!!! So glad you were able to talk them into giving you one, I can't wait to hear how it goes with telling the family! Keep us posted!

And thanks, ladies, for letting me vent. Sorry that I don't post often and that I came on here to do that, I just needed to tell people that would understand just how painful that really was.

 

[2b4us]

Oh wow Jenny, I can't believe DH's boss said that! Talk about insensitive! I don't think I would have handled that situation well at all (anger, fumbled words and then tears probably). What makes a person think that that would be something even remotely appropriate to say? Jenny

Mmmmm wine, lucky you Christine! Glad to hear things are better today AND that you enjoyed some ice cream . What day is your birthday?

Late ultrasounds, no pics... I think they want pregnant women in Canada to lose their sanity ...

We'll be hanging with my family for Christmas and the plan is to announce on Boxing Day. We will be with DH family for New Years and I'm leaving it up to him on how he wants to break the news to them.

 

[medic76097]

Hey ladies, I was hoping I could take a minute to vent, and you guys are the ones that would understand the most. So DH and his boss got into it a little bit today (which I know is never a good thing). I don't know what was said exactly between them to lead up to this, but his boss ended up asking him what was wrong with him and his wife since we don't have kids yet. She then proceeded to say that if we ever "bother" to have kids, it will make him better at his job. As I'm sure you can all guess, that really hit DH and I hard as we've struggled with infertility and are getting ready to start the adoption process. All he said back to her was that he didn't agree with her at all, and that it takes a lot to offend him but that she had done just that. I personally think he should have told her we've been trying for 1.5 years, that we suffer from infertility and that we're having to adopt since we can't have our own. Not that it's any of her business at all, but just to make her realize what a shitty thing that was to say to someone. Needless to say, that has led to lots of tears on my part today as it really, really stung (and made me furious at the same time). And of course this has to come on the heels of 2 of DH's best friends having babies in the last week (which he was telling me just last night he was feeling sad and down about). He's applying for a transfer out of her department tomorrow. I'm glad he didn't just walk out of his job, as we need the money, but I wouldn't have been upset or blamed him in the least if he had.

Katie, congrats on a baby girl! I had a feeling as well. I LOVE the name you chose btw! Beautiful!

Christine, I'm really sorry about your BFN. I'm glad to hear the ice cream helped a little though! There's not much that ice cream won't help at least a little with, right?

Randi, love the pic!!! So glad you were able to talk them into giving you one, I can't wait to hear how it goes with telling the family! Keep us posted!

And thanks, ladies, for letting me vent. Sorry that I don't post often and that I came on here to do that, I just needed to tell people that would understand just how painful that really was.

My own personal experience, and please don't be offended, but it sounds like this boss may have made a pass at your husband or wants to and feels threatened by you and his relationship. Women are catty most of the time and when a woman goes in for the kill like that to purposely hurt someone then it's because she feels shitty about herself. I can promise you that boss knows or guesses that there's issues with fertility and that was why it was said. Otherwose, why would a woman even bring that up to a man at all? She def went with the intention to hurt. I've heard too many stories exactly like this and when you dig dig dig, you'll find that saying something like that is her way of hurting YOU through him and making you both feel broken and inferior. She sounds like a real piece of work.
I'm glad your hubby didn't tell her and kept that part of your life from her evil poison. He's helping keep your trust and obviously values your feelings about all of it. By telling her it would only make her smug.
I hope you feel better in the morning and remember that when a woman shows her true colors like that, it's about HER not you

 

[Turtle0630]

Thanks, ladies! I appreciate the support. Nice to meet you by the way, Medic! And welcome to the group. I do see what you're saying about his boss and how that could totally be a possibility in a lot of situations, but I feel confident that's not what was going on here. She's older, clueless and not around much (she usually works out of their other location). I've never even met her. I was able to get a little more of the situation out of DH this morning...turns out she made him miss an appt for one of their guys (he works for a facility that gives services to adults with developmental disabilities and he works in the nursing dept, taking the residents to appts and acting as their advocate) because she insisted on calling a meeting that HAD to happen right before he had to leave to pick the guy up for the appt. She said she'd be back in 10 mins to have the meeting but to wait if she wasn't back. He said he had to leave for an appt and she said this meeting HAD to happen so if she wasn't back in time, cancel the appt. She didn't come back for 40 mins so he did cancel the appt, but it made the resident be charged $60 for cancelling last minute. He went into her office to tell her the resident was charged and she said that wasn't their problem (which...it is really). Long story short, the reason she was so delayed getting back was because she was on the phone with one of her kids (adult kid). He's smart enough to not bring that up or say anything, but I guess she was feeling sensitive about that being the reason...? And so she threw that rude statement at him. So I guess that's how it all tied in. Oh, and the meeting never even happened, after all of that. Sigh.

Anyways, now that I had more back story I thought I'd share! Thanks again though ladies, I really appreciate it.

 

[KatieMK]

Jenny, what a insert-favorite-word-for-person-who-manages-people-but-shouldn't. Ugh. Merry freakin' Christmas! I hope you're feeling better, and maybe it will help to think ahead to when she hears about your new baby and how she'll feel like crap then. Assuming she's able to put two and two together of course!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and that you are continuing to enjoy your celebrations!

My doctor called to schedule another ultrasound for this Friday to check my amniotic fluid levels, which are apparently low. I guess that would explain my lack of cute bump. so, I'm off to the boards to read threads that will probably freak me out. Jenny, just like you I turn here in my hours of need!

 

[cutieq]

Keep us posted Katie! Im glad they're monitoring your fluids. I won't say stay away from Google and the boards because that's impossible. But don't drive yourself nuts!

 

[2b4us]

I've been thinking about you Katie....hoping things are well

Happy New Years to everyone as well!

 

[cutieq]

I've been thinking about you Katie....hoping things are well

Happy New Years to everyone as well!

13 weeks?! When did that happen!!!

 

[KatieMK]

Hi guys! Checking in after the holiday craziness...

So, it looks like I'm destined to be "on the low side of normal" for this pregnancy. That means I'm at the bottom of what they consider to be an OK level of fluid. It also means I have to go in every two weeks for ultrasounds. Everything is looking good with the baby, including growth, so it's probably a placental issue since I don't have hypertension, or smoke, or anything like that. I asked what this would all mean when I'm at a later term, and I got a vague answer. SO, I'm guessing if I stay "at the low side of normal", they'll probably suggest a cesarean at the very least. From Dr. Google, I understand that there are concerns about the umbilical cord getting pinched without sufficient cushion in there, and when the baby gets big there's a higher chance of that.

So, could be worse. Figures that there's have to be SOMETHING considering I've had ZERO issues. Guess I was saving it all up for this! Thanks for all your good thoughts over the past week. I definitely needed them!

 

[KatieMK]

I've been thinking about you Katie....hoping things are well

Happy New Years to everyone as well!

13 weeks?! When did that happen!!!

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING!!! YOU'RE ALMOST IN 2nd TRI!

 

[scoobybeans]

Hey ladies, hope you all had a wonderful holiday season! Thanks for the kind words about last month. It was definitely a disappointment but I'm all good now. Took a bit of a break this month, will start researching new RE's in a few weeks.

Katie, I'm so glad everything seems ok with the baby despite the scare. My sister had low fluid throughout her pregnancy and did eventually have to have a C-section but it was on her original due date. My niece was a little on the smaller side (just under 6 lbs) but was absolutely perfect otherwise. She turned 5 this June

 

[crystlmcd]

Hi ladies! Sorry I've been MIA. I've been reading along but haven't had time to comment.

Dani - I'm glad things are going good for you and your little guy is adorable!

Katie - I'm glad the low fluid didn't turn out to be too concerning. I hope your levels continue to stay acceptable. Also, yay for viability week!!

Randi - I can't believe how fast your pregnancy is going! Hope things are going smoothly!

Christine - sorry the IUI didn't work but I hope you find a great RE.

Jenny - good to hear from you and can't wait to hear about your adoption journey. I'll take a bump pic friday when I get ready for hubby's christmas party.

I hope I haven't left anyone out!

AFM - things have been going good. My GD has been diet controlled and my blood sugars have been looking great. I had my GBS test today and my OB decided to check my cervix while she was at it. I'm 100% effaced and 2 cm dilated. WHAT?! My OB says we can go any day now or it could still be a couple weeks. We're hoping they hang in there until at least 36 weeks (next week). Both boys are measuring at just under 5 lbs approximately. We have all the stuff we need for at least the first few weeks (I think) so we just need to do some final organizing and pack the hospital bag. I still have a few things to wrap up at work so I'm planning to do that over the next few days and maybe this weekend so I'm ready to go on that end too. I just can't believe I'm so close to having babies here!

Hope everyone is doing well and had a good time over the holidays!

 

[scoobybeans]

Crystal- OMG!!!!! That went very quickly! You must be so excited to meet the boys Hope they tuck in for a little bit longer & wishing you an easy and uncomplicated birth!

 

[KatieMK]

Crystal: OMG!!!!!! So exciting! You'd better take a bump picture sooner rather than later!!

 

[cutieq]

Oh my gosh I can't believe it's so soon!!!

 

[crystlmcd]

Here you go, ladies. Ignore the dirty mirror

 

[2b4us]

Hello all! I hope everyone is doing well

Wow Crystal, so close!!! Where did the time go? Happy that we got to see one more bump pic though .

Katie, glad to hear baby is a-ok! That'll be reassuring to have scans every two weeks. Are you feeling the little one move?

Baby reveal on my side of the family was a little disappointing. Everyone was excited, but they knew something was up because apparently I went too long refusing alcoholic beverages over the last few months. Guess I must have been some kind of lush before, ha! On the other hand, DH's family was surprised and excited...an advantage to them being a province over. Nausea disappeared 3 days ago, which sounds normal, but scares the crap out of me, as I don't feel pregnant now. Next appointment is on the 20th, very anxious to hear the heartbeat again. 2nd ultrasound Feb 16th. Told the work folks on Monday, now my co-workers which are all men have been offering me name suggestions. Tatiana, Oksana, Salvador, Gertrude, Ursela...

 

[KatieMK]

Crystal: Any news??

Quick update on my end: I went for another scan yesterday, and there's been no REAL change since the scan from two weeks ago... which is good! The fluid measurements were slightly higher, but it seems to be a very subjective test and completely dependent on the sonographer. So, everyone is agreeing that I am just going to remain "on the low side of normal" levels, since I don't appear to be leaking anything and the baby doesn't seem to be having trouble with digestion or breathing. So that's good!

My 28 week GD/doctor visit is in another two weeks, and I'm hoping to get some answers at that point about what I can expect going forward. I'm guessing they'll want to schedule a cesarean for my delivery, which I'm fine with, but I'm hoping that they'll let me go full-term. I'm guessing if my fluid levels remain in the "safe" zone then they will? I want the baby to have as long to develop as possible. Also, from what I've read (there's that phrase again! Very dangerous! ) she'll probably be on the small side, so I'm thinking the longer I go, the more weight she'll have? I want to be able to take her home with me when I leave the hospital. SO MANY QUESTIONS!

How is everyone else doing?? Are we all on BABY WATCH here?

 

[crystlmcd]

Katie - so glad to hear that your fluid levels are staying in the normal range. I don't see why they wouldn't let you go to term or at least close to term as long as your fluid levels don't drop since they'll be monitoring that often. Hopefully your doctor can give you answers to that at your next appointment. Good luck with the GD test!

AFM - baby A's belly is measuring little small (just slightly above IUGR percentages) so they're going to deliver by 38 weeks. I go in on Wednesday to see the MFM and my OB and they'll determine an induction date then. My OB says she thinks as soon as she breaks my water, labor will start because my cervix is so thin (she can feel baby A's head!). I've just been trying to take it easy to keep them cooking as long as I can. I was still only 2 cm dilated when I saw her this week and so far no signs of going in to labor on my own yet, thank goodness. So, it looks like I'll have babies sometime between Thursday and the following Wednesday. It's getting real now but I feel like we're pretty ready.

 

[KatieMK]

YAY CRYSTAL!!! Can't wait to hear all about your experience! Fx crossed for you!!

AFM: the doctor called again yesterday after getting the recommendations back from the doctor who does all the anatomy ultrasound reviews. Amniotic fluid levels are old news, and the NEW news is the umbilical cord. Wahoo. I have a "hypocoiled" cord, which means flat. They don't really know what that means, medically, but they DO know what the chances are of certain events happening. I didn't get a lot of details from her over the phone other than to say I have another scan in three weeks to monitor the baby, and then I'll have a scan every week starting at 32 weeks. While I appreciated her desire to limit the scary information over the phone, the fact that they want to physically look at the baby every week in the third trimester is alarming enough for me to get on google again. Apparently, the rate of pre term deliveries with hypocord babies is 40%, and the rate of low birth weight is 38%. It's also generally tied to low amniotic fluid. AND SO. I'm thinking I need to be prepared to go a month early, and then hope I make it longer than that. We're focusing on finding a pediatrician this week, and now I'm trying to find one that has experience with little peanut babies, just in case.

UGH.

So much for my easy-breezy symptomless pregnancy.