33 1/2, ttc #1.

[NDurham12]

Hoping you get a + opk soon, either way though it looks like you have the weekend BDing covered! We spend half of our cycle waiting to O and the second half symptom spotting! I still think it is worse waiting to O.

I told my DH that I wouldn't be so worried if I was in my 20's but as each day goes by I get older, even if I get pregnant this month I will be 34 when I deliver. Right now our plan is to (hopefully) have one child but we are leaving the discussion of having more than one until later. I don't want to be even older when we are trying for #2. Ideally I would just have B/G twins and we would be done...hubby doesn't like that idea though! lol twins freak him out!

I told my hubby I won't stop this cycle until I find someone who will listen to me. I will make sure I get that progesterone test even if I have to drive around pleading to each doctors office, I have insurance, a bag of cash and I can cry and beg! I figure someone will help me!

Hi Savvy,

I too am sooo sorry about your weekend. I think we all relate to the feeling. Remember my rant a few weeks ago? AND just like my rant, the thing that really made me feel better and motivated was having that deeper talk with DH. We have each other to talk to, but in the end, having the DH understand, knowledgeable and ready to act is really what we need to keep us going after a disappointment.

As far as the Dr. is concerned, ya know... for the first time in my life, I actually searched solely for a female obgyn. Previously everyone of my obg have been male, not by choice, just that I needed to be seen and a -male was who was available. But with ttc something changed, as I was already getting emotional about it and didn't want to "use my words" to try and talk though my emotions with my obg. So, yea a male obg can be good, but only a woman obg (that's had kids) really understand the emotional aspects of ttc disappointments.

And my initial experience with the dr was different. Much faster, didn't have to wait or have a nurse present, she just went to town and got things done. She immediately took all sorts of blood tests, etc. Even with my tests coming back normal, she's continuing with more fsh tests (even to the point of me having to pay extra in lab fees), just to be completely sure. And she even recommended and wants me to take the HSG test. I didn't have to ask or beg for anything. So given the history of your cycles, I think your Dr should be voluntarily doing more just to cover all the bases.

Another thing, although I know it's much more expensive, but given your cycle pattern have you thought about getting the fertility monitor? I also wonder, have you tried using the CBE digital opk solely for a month? They say they give a + 2 days prior to most other tests, so I'm wonder if it will help give you more time?

I too want twins, and like your dh my dh is freaked at the idea. That's another reason (although I have not told dh) that I was ok with taking the clomid, as it increases the chances.

 

[NDurham12]

Oh. I just found this link again on FF, but it does recommend going to your dr if your luteal is < 10 days.

https://www.fertilityfriend.com/Faqs/Short-luteal-phase.html

 

[NDurham12]

Savvy, I'm sorry about your rough weekend, I really am. I am glad that you and your hub are discussing your plans though. I think just being on the same page and finding a good doctor will ease your mind a lot. I think having a professional/specialist in your corner sounds like a great tool for success. I might be right behind you in a few months if this doesn't work.

I think my cycle feels very different than last one, and I may chock it up to weirdness after the cm and hope for a better one next month. But we have to wait and see. Miracle or miracles, we found ourselves ALONE in the in law house yesterday for a brief moment, so we did bd! Crazy!
My doc office called and said they would like cd21 blood work to check progesterone levels and they normally do this after a miscarriage. I was surprised as this is my first one, but hey, I will go for it. Not sure what happens after that. It's just a lab appt and no doctor visit.

ahh ok. Progesterone tests, that does make sense.

Da Dunn Da Dunn. Miracle! That's awesome.

I usually try to do between 1-2 and then again at 6-7 and I do my best to hold off going to the bathroom in between. I know I should understand that cycles are unpredictable. But last month was really by the book (minus the mc) so I guess this weirdness is really just kind of 'normal'.

Good for you with the doctors, I think it's great that you know what you want and are willing to be proactive and find the right doctor. I bet your ob will understand and of he/she isn't the right one, maybe they will offer some good recommendations for another.

So imphope, remember your name and your charts. You did everything right last month, with testing and bd. You did. And guess what, you got a BFP! Yes, in the end, your body said that egg wasn't the one, but your body is working to protect you and the baby; it knows best. Don't beat yourself up or start to over think things. You did everything right. The super duper hard part is really done now, you know your body and your cycle. You know you O, you test and know when you O, you know the right bd schedule. Now you just have to not stress, repeat and wait. It's the waiting that hard for those of us that are impatient. [rant: ugh. I hate getting stuck at a light, just missing it. Or be the 1st car behind a car that's in the right hand lane going straight, when I need to turn right...ugh. burns my hide. I actually have techniques to deal with the frustration of waiting. :end rant]

Maybe we can try coming up with something to do during our tww. And lean on each other to question us about it to keep the urge to test and stress lower.

I know one thing for me, is what to do after the bfp. Am i really ready if I get a bfp this month or next? Probably not. Sooo not ready. My house is a mess!! holly mother!

 

[savvysaver]

Hi Savvy,

I too am sooo sorry about your weekend. I think we all relate to the feeling. Remember my rant a few weeks ago? AND just like my rant, the thing that really made me feel better and motivated was having that deeper talk with DH. We have each other to talk to, but in the end, having the DH understand, knowledgeable and ready to act is really what we need to keep us going after a disappointment.

As far as the Dr. is concerned, ya know... for the first time in my life, I actually searched solely for a female obgyn. Previously everyone of my obg have been male, not by choice, just that I needed to be seen and a -male was who was available. But with ttc something changed, as I was already getting emotional about it and didn't want to "use my words" to try and talk though my emotions with my obg. So, yea a male obg can be good, but only a woman obg (that's had kids) really understand the emotional aspects of ttc disappointments.

And my initial experience with the dr was different. Much faster, didn't have to wait or have a nurse present, she just went to town and got things done. She immediately took all sorts of blood tests, etc. Even with my tests coming back normal, she's continuing with more fsh tests (even to the point of me having to pay extra in lab fees), just to be completely sure. And she even recommended and wants me to take the HSG test. I didn't have to ask or beg for anything. So given the history of your cycles, I think your Dr should be voluntarily doing more just to cover all the bases.

Another thing, although I know it's much more expensive, but given your cycle pattern have you thought about getting the fertility monitor? I also wonder, have you tried using the CBE digital opk solely for a month? They say they give a + 2 days prior to most other tests, so I'm wonder if it will help give you more time?

I too want twins, and like your dh my dh is freaked at the idea. That's another reason (although I have not told dh) that I was ok with taking the clomid, as it increases the chances.

NDurham, Thanks for such a positive message and some good advice!

I have been trying to stay positive and after a few months and a devastating m/c I snapped. I am just mad at myself for wasting another entire month. I do feel better and I know it isn't my fault but I also want to do more to ensure that I have a successful bfp...sitting on my butt isn't going to get me anywhere! While my hubby and I have discussed ttc, we never talked about how far we would go (meds/money/tests) if needed. I feel better knowing that him and I are on the same page.

I definitely agree with you on female doctors. MIL runs general practice doctors and I only see her female doctors. Also when looking for a GI specialist I was able to find a female at the top hospital to see me. I first saw a male from a different hospital and couldn't wait to leave his office, he was a total jerk (putting it nicely). I switched OB's after what happened with my m/c (long story) and in a panic/rush I was only able to get in with a male OB. I took the appointment because he works closely with my GI doctor and it seemed like a good idea at the time....but I find woman more compassionate and understanding. I have already done a little research and if I stay with the same hospital there are female OBs and RE's or I can switch (hubby prefers I don't) and I found a female only clinic close by. I feel more comfortable staying with the largest hospital in the area, they are well known and if any issues arise after delivery I know my baby would be taken care of properly.

I am glad you found such a good OB, that is very important in this journey. Also glad she was running tests. Remind me again, how long have you been ttc?

I have thought about getting the monitor but not sure if I need it. We start SMEP (BDing every other day) on CD7 and I use opks twice per day. I had definite positives so I know I O'd and we timed BDing extremely well those months. I used the clearblue opks in January along with my wondfos and got a positive on both, I also double checked this past month with the clearblues later in the cycle to confirm my positive wondfo opk. I would like a SA for my hubby though, after BDing 5 days in a row (January) I wasn't sure if that was smart or not.

I definitely would love clomid to up my chances of twins - just don't tell my hubby! I always wanted girl twins but decided boy/girl twins would give us one of each!

 

[savvysaver]

Maybe we can try coming up with something to do during our tww. And lean on each other to question us about it to keep the urge to test and stress lower.

I know one thing for me, is what to do after the bfp. Am i really ready if I get a bfp this month or next? Probably not. Sooo not ready. My house is a mess!! holly mother!

After I got my bfp, I realized that I am ready and truly want to be a mother. As hard as the m/c was, it helped me realize that I am on the right path. When I was pregnant for a week we started planning, talking about the nursery, etc. The nursery will be our current guest room, I have started cleaning out the room and getting it ready for when I do get a bfp. Set some attainable goals, if you think your house is a mess...set a timer for 5 minutes and race through the house and clean as much as you can. Seeing the clutter go down is very positive! My guest room is packed full of our good clothes (wedding/suits/dresses) and my scrapbook supplies. I started going through my closet and donating dresses I would never wear. I will be moving my scrapbook stuff into my office and downsizing when needed. I am a little OCD and keep my kitchen/living room spotless but I tend to stuff crap into the guest room since no one ever uses it!

My goal is to get more exercise, it helps my stomach issues and makes me feel better. I want to walk 30 minutes 5 days a week.

 

[NDurham12]

I have already done a little research and if I stay with the same hospital there are female OBs and RE's or I can switch (hubby prefers I don't) and I found a female only clinic close by. I feel more comfortable staying with the largest hospital in the area, they are well known and if any issues arise after delivery I know my baby would be taken care of properly.

Oh I totally agree. I'm doing the same thing. We have Texas Women's Hospital here in Houston, so I started with them and then found a dr that uses that hospital. However, I have also been looking at Texas Children's Hospital too, as they have opened a Women's Labor/Delivery wing, and I'm seriously thinking if that will be better since I'll probably be able to find a obg and a peds dr that service the same hospital. Would just make things easier. They even have a satellite office near my home.

Remind me again, how long have you been ttc?

So we got married in Sept of 12, and I have never been on BC. So technically since then really, as we were not avoiding anything. And I've been tracking my cycles since then. However, actively trying trying, I started in November. I say I to mean I started really researching more and ensuring that we weren't doing things that would limit our chances. Like sperm friendly lub. I didn't even know about that.

I used the clearblue opks in January along with my wondfos and got a positive on both, I also double checked this past month with the clearblues later in the cycle to confirm my positive wondfo opk.

Are you using the cbe digital or regular? For Jan, the cbe and the wondfos showed -'s and +'s all together? Like, did you get a + on the cbe yet a - on the wondfo?

I would like a SA for my hubby though, after BDing 5 days in a row (January) I wasn't sure if that was smart or not.

Uhg. Me too. There was a kit we got at the store, but have yet to use. I think I will make him use it this week. We need to know.

I definitely would love clomid to up my chances of twins - just don't tell my hubby! I always wanted girl twins but decided boy/girl twins would give us one of each!

Our secret!

Set some attainable goals, if you think your house is a mess...set a timer for 5 minutes and race through the house and clean as much as you can. Seeing the clutter go down is very positive! My guest room is packed full of our good clothes (wedding/suits/dresses) and my scrapbook supplies. I started going through my closet and donating dresses I would never wear. I will be moving my scrapbook stuff into my office and downsizing when needed. I am a little OCD and keep my kitchen/living room spotless but I tend to stuff crap into the guest room since no one ever uses it!

I am typically ocd about cleaning, too. I'm just trying to keep my stress low and not focus on it. We have a lot of clutter around the house. Especially with me taking on juicing last month. I like your idea about the timer I can try that too.

My goal is to get more exercise, it helps my stomach issues and makes me feel better. I want to walk 30 minutes 5 days a week.

I have too many tools to try and keep me motivated with walking or working out. Yet I never get around to doing it. I like the phone app Endomondo for tracking your route. Are you starting this week?

 

[savvysaver]

Oh I totally agree. I'm doing the same thing. We have Texas Women's Hospital here in Houston, so I started with them and then found a dr that uses that hospital. However, I have also been looking at Texas Children's Hospital too, as they have opened a Women's Labor/Delivery wing, and I'm seriously thinking if that will be better since I'll probably be able to find a obg and a peds dr that service the same hospital. Would just make things easier. They even have a satellite office near my home.

It does make things easier. I had so many doctors at different hospitals that I started combining to get all my charts at the same hospital. It is so much easier when I need to tell them the meds I am on they can look it up and know the exact doses and names of the medication. My hospital also has a few offices which I prefer to go to instead of the big hospital. That is why I got stuck with my doctor, no females worked at the center closest to my house. They also have a Center for Reproductive Medicine which is almost all female docs, it is probably 30 minutes away but I am asking for a referral there if my current OB isn't into testing me.

Are you using the cbe digital or regular? For Jan, the cbe and the wondfos showed -'s and +'s all together? Like, did you get a + on the cbe yet a - on the wondfo?

I have the clearblue digital opks with the smiley face. In January when I used them together I got +'s on both at the same time (I dip them so I can test with multiple tests if needed). Last month I used wondfo all month but I used the clearblue two days along with the wondfo. The first day the wondfo looked a bit darkish but the clearblue had the negative circle the next day I got my blazing positive wondfo and the clearblue had a a positive smiley! I never got a + on one and a - on the other luckily.

Uhg. Me too. There was a kit we got at the store, but have yet to use. I think I will make him use it this week. We need to know.

I never knew about the kit, someone recommended it but I can't remember who! I thought about getting it but would rather have the SA at the doctors. If he won't do it I am moving on to the Reproductive center and if they won't do it I will buy the kit.

Our secret!

I am typically ocd about cleaning, too. I'm just trying to keep my stress low and not focus on it. We have a lot of clutter around the house. Especially with me taking on juicing last month. I like your idea about the timer I can try that too.

Well juicing was important to you too and if you needed more time for yourself and juicing then a little clutter never hurt anyone! I feel like I keep most of my house in tip top shape that I allow myself an area that can be for clutter...I get nervous looking at it so I hide it well. Just don't open the closet! lol

The timer works for me when I have a pile of paperwork but my hubby needs a different spin. He uses half of our basement for his workshop which spills out to our entertaining area...if I want him to clean I invite people over. Spic and span in no time at all!

I have too many tools to try and keep me motivated with walking or working out. Yet I never get around to doing it. I like the phone app Endomondo for tracking your route. Are you starting this week?

Yep, I plan to start walking today! Unfortunately the weather isn't cooperating today but I will have my hubby move a bit of furniture in our basement and I figured I can create a decent walking path or do a low impact workout/walking video. We also have a beautiful path in our neighborhood (literally about 5 houses down in the park) that I want to walk weather permitting. Were you thinking about walking too? My hubby wants to start the P90X again but I don't think it would be wise for me to go from couch to high impact workout while ttc! That is my excuse!

 

[mrshan]

Yep, I plan to start walking today! Unfortunately the weather isn't cooperating today but I will have my hubby move a bit of furniture in our basement and I figured I can create a decent walking path or do a low impact workout/walking video. We also have a beautiful path in our neighborhood (literally about 5 houses down in the park) that I want to walk weather permitting. Were you thinking about walking too? My hubby wants to start the P90X again but I don't think it would be wise for me to go from couch to high impact workout while ttc! That is my excuse!

I've tried P90X a few times, and I think the closest I got to finishing was about 2 months. Good results though! If you want to go easy, the Kempo and Cardio X workouts aren't bad if you go slow and stop when you get tired. And Yoga is rough as hell, but it's a nice whole body workout. The weight days aren't particularly high impact. My problem with the whole program is that I have a hard time devoting 50-90 minutes a day to a workout.

I just starting walking 2 miles/day about two weeks ago, and I usually manage to do it 3 or 4 days out of the week. I'm lucky that I have an old-as-dirt treadmill in the basement that works. I love walking outside, and am impatient for some decent weather up here in Michigan. I gained 30 pounds over the last year and a half, and I'm ready to get rid of it. I lost 80 pounds about two years ago by tracking my food intake on myfitnesspal and getting in workouts, and I'm trying to keep from yo-yoing too badly. It's hard to get motivated, but I have summer clothes that I know are going to be too small for me to get into, ugh.

Getting in shape and getting BFPs this year- we are woman, hear us roar!

 

[savvysaver]

I've tried P90X a few times, and I think the closest I got to finishing was about 2 months. Good results though! If you want to go easy, the Kempo and Cardio X workouts aren't bad if you go slow and stop when you get tired. And Yoga is rough as hell, but it's a nice whole body workout. The weight days aren't particularly high impact. My problem with the whole program is that I have a hard time devoting 50-90 minutes a day to a workout.

I just starting walking 2 miles/day about two weeks ago, and I usually manage to do it 3 or 4 days out of the week. I'm lucky that I have an old-as-dirt treadmill in the basement that works. I love walking outside, and am impatient for some decent weather up here in Michigan. I gained 30 pounds over the last year and a half, and I'm ready to get rid of it. I lost 80 pounds about two years ago by tracking my food intake on myfitnesspal and getting in workouts, and I'm trying to keep from yo-yoing too badly. It's hard to get motivated, but I have summer clothes that I know are going to be too small for me to get into, ugh.

Getting in shape and getting BFPs this year- we are woman, hear us roar!

We did P90X for like two months last winter and I agree, it is hard to devote up to 90 minutes each day. It is a tough workout but does get you in shape. I still prefer walking outside though!

Good for you mrshan and congrats on walking 2 miles a day! That is my goal at least two miles. A few years ago I spent a few months in Arizona during the winter. I was walking between 6-8 miles daily and I felt great! I don't have that much time to dedicate to it now but I would love to walk 3-4 miles a day. I probably have about 10 pounds to lose that has crept back on over the last few months. Glad some buddies on here are into walking too - it helps me hold myself accountable if I have to report in!

 

[imphope]

I wish I had a walking buddy in real life, I love going walking.

Guess what,! My opks went from decreasing in darkness over the weekend to a blazing positive today. My temp dipped last night so I hope it spikes tomorrow! Maybe I will ovulate after all?! Yay! Shark week continues.

 

[savvysaver]

I wish I had a walking buddy in real life, I love going walking.

Guess what,! My opks went from decreasing in darkness over the weekend to a blazing positive today. My temp dipped last night so I hope it spikes tomorrow! Maybe I will ovulate after all?! Yay! Shark week continues.

I had a feeling that would happen! Congrats on your + opk!! That is exactly what mine does, it gets so light that I worry and then BAM blazing positive. Get your hubby and BD asap! Shark week continues!

As for walking buddies, I agree. When I walk alone it takes forever, but I could walk with a friend for hours and not get bored while we are chatting.

 

[imphope]

We bd this morning and I got the positive opk at 2pm today. Should we bd again tonight or in the morning? I wish I knew if the positive was on its way up or down. I wasn't able to do any opks yesterday so I have no clue.

 

[savvysaver]

We bd this morning and I got the positive opk at 2pm today. Should we bd again tonight or in the morning? I wish I knew if the positive was on its way up or down. I wasn't able to do any opks yesterday so I have no clue.

Personally I would test again tonight around 8pm and see if it is still positive. You typically O 12-36 hours after a + opk. Since my hubby never had a SA I would wait until tomorrow but do what feels right to both of you. At least you know you already have some swimmers in there waiting!

 

[NDurham12]

Savvy,

Sounds like you and Imphope are opk test twins lol. I'm sorry that the cbe aren't as good as the marketing says for you. Crazy how the results can be so different for everyone. However, looks like the wondof are working.

For the working out, have y'all heard about t25? It's P90/Insanity chopped down to 25 minutes a day, as people's biggest complaint was having an hour to workout. I have 2 co-workers on it, and have been seriously considering it.

I'm not having that great of a week. Last week, I started eating solids, and over the weekend, I've been having sugar. My emotions and cravings have been outta control. And today AF started, and man, she's a beeotch. Intense back pain, I even left work early. I hope to get past these next 4 days and then get back on track. Ugh.

 

[savvysaver]

NDurham, Sorry AF showed and is making you feel so yucky! I hope you start feeling better soon.

I haven't heard of t25 but will have to check it out for my hubby. I know he would like a shorter workout. I am hesitant to over-do a work out while ttc. I think I am going to start walking first and build up my tolerance.

 

[mrshan]

Ditto what Savvy said, sorry about AF, N.

Thanks for the info about T25; I hadn't heard of it before. Reading some online reviews, it looks like really high intensity. I think it's a step up from Insanity, which is a little tougher than P90X. Bunches of people say they're sweating like crazy by 10-minutes in, but it isn't repetitive and they get good results.

I have Tony Horton's Power90, and if you can get over the workouts being very, very repetitive and the 80's vibe, it's a decent workout in 30 minutes. When I was doing it, I'd swap out some of the moves for similar P90X stuff to get a little more intensity.

 

[NDurham12]

UGH.

So the main building where I work (we have about 7), it's like the pregnancy fairy is flying around. I keep waving my hand but she passes me by.

One coworker delivered about 5 months ago. And there are 4 actively pregnant, of which 1 is due this week.

My co-worker that sits right next to me, very excitedly just told me she's expecting. I tried my best to show excited and job to hear the news, which I am I truly am, as I would never want anyone to go through what I'm experiencing. However, it was hard...hard...not to just feel like complete shit. A failure. It's so easy right? UGH!

Maybe I could have handled it better if she told me next week, or even later this week. But having gotten AF yesterday...today I'm just not in the mood to be excited. Which is totally against everything about my personality.

DH told me last Friday that our neighbor is pregnant too. I was instantly sad, and he realized that he probably shouldn't have told me.

I even have a facebook friend, who from what I can tell through her semi-private posts, is in remission from cancer, but still not fully in the clear. Well of course, she's pregnant too.

All of this reminds of the time when I was single. How I wanted to be in a relationship and I would see soo many couples everywhere. When wondered how/why couples could be together since they looked so opposite. I realize this is happening now again, but this time it's about babies. UGH.

And I gained 1lb today at the WW meeting. So ... Soo... freaking bummed out. I just wanna go home and overdose on chocolate.

 

[savvysaver]

Trust me I know the feeling, every where I look I see baby bumps, baby announcements, shower invites...it is a major bummer and almost like a smack in the face...like what is wrong with me?

I actually told my husband about 2 months ago that i did not want to know if anyone else was pregnant, it was just too hard for me to handle (especially after my m/c)...so he felt bad when he had to tell me SIL was pregnant, again, after having her baby 10 months ago. Seriously, you needed to tell me? They don't live close by and I could have easily gotten away without knowing for a few months! Then last night we were watching How I Met Your Mother and one of the characters is pregnant...yeah I know it is just a tv show but I turned to my hubby and started screaming that she is pregnant too!

But it is going to be our turn soon, the pregnancy bug will bite us and we will get to share our great news! That is what keeps me going, I can't wait for it to be my turn!! (also your turn and all the girls on here - we all deserve it!)

Don't get too discouraged about the small 1lb gain, it could totally be from AF/PMS, stick to your diet plan. You have worked to hard to binge on chocolate. I bet next week that pound will be gone along with another pound or two...you can do it girl!!

 

[imphope]

I just want to stop in and say how thankful I am to have a place where everyone is so supportive. I truly believe we all will be mothers one day. This group is great! Babies babies babies will be here before we know it!

 

[NDurham12]

Thanks Savvy and Imphone.

Today was pretty bad, but I was actually doing ok, until a few minutes ago. DH is just not helping. He doesn't know how or what to say and is getting frustrated and standoffish.

I feel alone right now.

I was looking forward to having this muffin at this cafe I like, but had to work very late with a co-worker and now they are closed. I'm tempted to go in late just to go there and have my freaking muffin.

Horrible. Just Horrible. I have never felt like this in my entire life. I thought bridal brain was bad... this TTC brain takes things to a whole other level. At least with bridal brain, you already have the man, you just want perfection on the day, or very close to it. With ttc brain, it's like you want something (are completely depended on someone else to want it and act on that want too) but can't have it.