35 and over and ltttc for baby #2 for over 2.5yrs!

[eyemom]

lanet, good luck with checking into the back-to-back IUIs. That means in the same cycle, right? Seems like the more sperm the merrier! Hope the AMH turns out great too! No idea what kind of symptoms are normal for Femara, wish I could be more help.

Oh and thanks for the input about CD12. I get what you mean now. I totally lapsed about your IUI(s). Of course you wouldn't want to miss your eggie! Seems unlikely that you'd ovulate super early now when you haven't in the past.

Orchid, I don't really know, but the question about ovulating early? I'm under the impression that you don't want to ovulate TOO early b/c the egg isn't as mature and/or if implantation is going to occur, the uterine lining isn't ideal if it's too early in the cycle. But it's not really something I know about, and I have no idea how early would be considered too early. Then again, I didn't think it was always bad to ovulate late *as long as* the luteal phase is long enough. So what do I know? I've probably just been consulting Dr. Google too much the last year or so!

So I don't want to be negative thinking ahead...still hoping and praying I get pregnant in the next cycle or two and none of this even matters. But I asked my Dr. back when I had my HSG (last cycle) what was next if I didn't get pregnant in the next two or three cycles. He said then we could talk meds and IUIs and stuff. Which is fine. But on here (not just this thread but others as well) I hear about tests that are so often done (especially the Day 3 and Day 21 ones) that I never had done. So I wasn't sure what I should ask for before investing in meds or IUIs. I don't want to spend a bunch of money on something that's destined to fail. But I also don't want to have a bunch of tests done that have no real value in my particular case. I just now got around to looking up what is actually done with Day 3 and Day 21 testing. We can be sure I'm ovulating, so I don't know how useful Day 21 testing would be. The Day 3 ones though...I don't know? Is the AMH one commonly done in an infertility workup, or there certain symptoms or criteria a doctor looks for before seeing the need to order that one?

Thanks ladies!

 

[lanet]

I think the day 3 work up is pretty standard and one of the first things they do. Fsh, lh, and estradiol are some things that are tested I think. I think it's worth a shot to cover your bases. Does your insurance cover? Mine doesn't, I still paid less than $200 for those tests.
The amh is standard if you are referred to an RE. It can be done any day of the month, unlike the others. I'm not sure why I haven't had it done. My dr acted like it wasn't a big deal so I'm hoping it's not! But id like to just have it done anyway. It's only $35 so why not!
And yes sorry for the confusion on early O, I just meant before my follie check or iui. I'm not positive late O is bad, I've read conflicting info. I always O late, even day 29 sometimes, so at the very least I'm not getting to try as many times per year.
I'm really hoping this is it, I don't know how much more I can handle. And yes back to back iui would be 2 days in a row. Anything to increase my chances. I need that bfp before the 3 year mark! This phase is taking forever though. I can't wait for my follie check Monday! Praying for 3-4 good ones!!!

 

[eyemom]

Praying for 3-4 good ones!!!

I'll be praying with you then!

And thanks so much for the info. I already had charts from 12 cycles I think when I first saw my Dr (I chart OPKs and temps). I'm seeing a new obgyn this time due to insurance changes...it's so upsetting to me because I LOVED my old obgyn and, while not an RE, she was the fertility guru in her group. I would have trusted her completely. I'm sure this new Dr is good. I did a ton of asking around when I was looking for a new one, and his was the only name that came up again and again and again and again. From friends and other medical people alike. But it's just hard when I was quite happy before to change to some unknown...especially when it's something I'm so emotionally invested in, ya know?

So anyway I brought in my charts. He saw that I get +opks, then a thermal shift follows, and my luteal phase is long enough. It'd be hard to glean much more than that from my charts because I can't wake up at the same time as consistently as would be ideal. I have the occasional early work day, I have a two year old with occasional sleep issues, and I get insomnia (waking up too early) in my luteal phase.

So I had my prolactin and my TSH checked same day as my obgyn appointment. He wanted to wait on SA to do anything else, which makes complete sense. Waited to make sure I wasn't pg that cycle (of course I wasn't), DH had SA and it was...fantastic. Which was cool for him but I'm like...what is up with me to resist his supersperm???? So then when his SA came back, we planned the HSG next. HSG was normal. So that's all I've done. Good charts, normal TSH and prolactin, good HSG. So I guess after the next cycle or two I'll call and ask about Day 3 bloodwork. Since Day 3 bloodwork is so commonplace, I just don't know what to think if it reflects poorly on this doctor or if he had his reasons or ????

Thanks!

 

[lanet]

I'm sure the dr is smarter than me and has his reasons. It sounds like you've had quite a workup already so that's good! And I understand about switching drs. That would be so hard! Luckily and unluckily my insurance covers no fertility at all so I can go to whichever dr I want, and pay for it! Lol
It sounds like this new dr comes highly recommended and may just have the insight that you need to get the bfp

 

[tommyg]

Hello so much to catch up on in 2 hours.

Isacc - how are the injections going?

Gemmy - how are you doing? Hope AF isn't being to horrible to you.

Lanet - I think I've been having fairly textbook cycles on femara. I thought they'd be doing ultrasounds to check for ovulation before the IUI? Rather than 2 IUI in the same cycle - but as long as something works it doesn't really matter. Even on femara my ovualtion has been CD 18 (twice) and the month I had the cold it was about CD24. Femara hasn't given me any other noticable symptoms.

Not being funny but your client sounds very odd. To get a BFP so soon with a guy she's met once and used protection then followed by an old fashioned shotgun wedding makes me think its a "marriage of convience" or something. Nobody in their right mind marries somebody they have met once. I'm surprized the guy isn't being more suspious unless he is after a visa - but hey maybe I'm just a cynic.

Orchid - I know excactly what you mean about just knowing your body. It's generally my boobs that do the talking I look out for the EWCM and when it goes if my boobs start to get tender they are telling I've ovulated if they don't I may well have another patch of EWCM before they start talking. And yip I might also be tempted to have another go at acupunture, it's oddly relaxing. When I was pregnant with DS the boobed got sorer than normal, that and some really odd cramps / pulling sensation were the only real signs.

Eyemom - I'm sure you know that if you are having fairly regular cycles the chances are you are ovulating. I don't remember having CD3 bloods but I've had CD21 by my GP before they would refer me. It was luck that I hit CD21 AF turned up 7 days later when I got my results. They also did it to make sure the femara was doing the job on my first cycle.

AFM - I think I'll follow the nurses wishes and miss out the femara this cycle. Like clomid there is a max of 6 cycles you can take. My main fear of going unmedicated for a cycle was it could turn into a long one. They've assured me that they won't let it go that long and to contact them on CD40 (I've counted out the days to 6 Dec) if this cycle hasn't ended before then. They will scan to see what's happening and induce a period if necessary so that I can start the femara again in December. We are going to Disney for 2 weeks so should take my mind of things.

 

[lanet]

Oh Disney will be perfect for taking your mind off of things! Enjoy!
And yes they are doing an ultrasound and follicle study before the iui. They are doing it on Monday and we will schedule iui from there. Last time I did that my follicles weren't ready yet and I had to wait a couple more days. Is rather do that than take this medicine and then be too late. That makes me feel better that femara didn't move O up too soon for you. I can feel my ovaries right now so maybe that just means something is working in there.
And I agree, I was shocked by my client and trying to figure out if it was even possible while trying to keep my poker face and pretend I know nothing about ttc lol!

 

[tommyg]

Yes makes sense they scan you and see how those follies are doing before doing the IUI. Are they giving you a trigger shot? Fingers crossed.
I guess time will tell with your client....

 

[lanet]

Yes I will do the trigger shot. Some drs believe back to back iui increases chances and some don't. The first one would be 12 hours after the shot and the 2nd 24 hours after that. I'm not sure where my dr stands but if she's willing then so am I. Sure can't hurt.
I've been thinking about things and I feel really good right now, last time I was really having a lot of anxiety and I also gained a total of 15 lbs. Now I'm exercising regularly, I feel really good, and I've lost the 15 lbs. and now that my dh s/a is improved maybe this is it.
And yes unfortunately working with the public I have to deal with all kinds of people and their stories... I have met some wonderful ladies that are also ttc and it's so nice to talk to them about things. People going through it are really the only ones that get it. And I'm really glad I found this thread, bc having one child sets me apart from those that gave none, but makes the pain of it no less and you guys get that.

 

[tommyg]

Tbh I think it's a different pain when it's your 2nd child. With your first it's all a step into the unknown. But with your 2nd you know it can work, just getting all the stars to line up at the same time takes a chunk of luck. You also have your first to think about and what impact a sibling will have on them and their lives. And the gap between them.

 

[lanet]

Very true, my gap is pretty big right now. My dd will be 11 on valentines day. Not as I planned but yeah it does add pressure. Not to mention if you're feeling sad and depressed you can't just lat in bed, you have to get up and act normal for the other child.

 

[tommyg]

Valentine's is a crap day to have your birthday! Not as bad as Christmas but not far off. Only decent thing about it is you can say "yes I got loads of cards" with no further explanation!
DS managed to avoid it and landed on my mum's birthday instead kind of glad i don't need to share my birthday with him as well as Valentine's.
My dream was a 2 year gap so they'd be at the same stages but im looking at 3.5 years now which is quite big in my mind.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Tommy that's so exciting that you are going to Disney Land/World! That will be so much fun - when are you going?

That's good to know about all the tests - I need to start getting my head wrapped around what will all be done. I feel so ignorant but I'm slowly learning! I'm just looking forward to meeting the specialist and being proactive with things rather than just trying month after month and hoping for the best! That being said with DH's SA who really knows but at least we will really be trying! If I can persuade him to go for acupuncture I might just go with him as well!!

Tommy - How are you? I think you made a good decision about holding off for a month as hard as it is. When you only get 6 goes at it you want them to all be in optimal circumstances. That's good that they won't let you go past 40 days although I know that must feel like an eternity!

Isaac - How are you doing? What stage are you at?

Gemmy - Hope you are ok and that AF hasn't been too horrible to you.

Eyemom - what cycle day are you? Out of interest what does Day 3 testing look for?

AFM - Day 26 of cycle and I think 13dpo. Amazingly my bbs have been fine(!), other than the occasional twinge. Nothing at all yesterday, including at the gym! They do feel heavy though but I'm staying positive this month! My nipples are feeling a little sensitive just now (sorry if TMI) but I'm not sure if that's just cause I'm over thinking things(!!!) but regardless I don't have my usual ache/tenderness above and at the sides so keeping my fingers crossed! The other good thing is I have decided if I don't get my BFP this month then it blows my sore bbs theory out of the window which wouldn't be a bad thing for me! Had some mild cramping low in my uterus yesterday morning but other than that nothing really and temps still high so all in all feeling actually surprisingly good about things! I could of course be off with when I ovulated but if so I would say only by 1 day - 2 at the very most but I don't think so. The latest AF is due is Sunday but technically couldn't start at any time from tomorrow.

Well better run for now. Have a good day everyone

 

[tommyg]

Fingers crossed for you Orchard would be good for someone to leave this thread!

I'm doing ok, we leave a week on Friday. 40 days would be a shortish natural cycle for me so fine with the idea of it. I'm not giving up I can only hope that I naturally ovulate early and get that BFP! Failing that then I guess it's another look at what my daft body actually does.

 

[lanet]

Valentine's is a crap day to have your birthday! Not as bad as Christmas but not far off. Only decent thing about it is you can say "yes I got loads of cards" with no further explanation!
DS managed to avoid it and landed on my mum's birthday instead kind of glad i don't need to share my birthday with him as well as Valentine's.
My dream was a 2 year gap so they'd be at the same stages but im looking at 3.5 years now which is quite big in my mind.

We love the valentine birthday! She thinks all of the stores are celebrating just for her and she gets a party at school that day too. I think it's the sweetest day to have a baby! But she may change her mind about it when she's married lol

 

[tommyg]

It becomes a pita when you want to go out with your pals and they have dates with their boyfriend's and if you do get out everywhere is full of couples and really busy - and flowers cost twice as much as the week before. And once you are hitched up you loose an excuse to go out! As Valentine's becomes a joint birthday affair.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

That's cute Lanet! Yeah I guess it's fun now but perhaps not so much when she is older...My DS is born just after Christmas (as in 2 days) and it sucks! I feel so bad for him but we just make it work and make sure it is still a super special day with all the usual Birthday celebrations! I think whenever a child has it's Birthday it's all about how you as parents make it work but definitely some days are worse than others!!

 

[tommyg]

When I think about it my birthday didn't bother me as a kid but it bugs me now. Lol!
Christmas is rather crowded in my family too OH on 15th, sis 21st, her son on 30th. For a kid it's definitely how your parents play it. I have a cousin on the 26th too.
I worked with a guy who's wife was Christmas day, her mum made after dinner her part of the day - birthday cake instead of Christmas cake and thats when they handed over her birthday presents even as an adult.

 

[gemmy]

Hi ladies, lots of catching up to do here, hope you are all well. Nothing to report here, cd4, af has just about gone. Feeling a bit tired and not in the mood for yet another cycle. I have really lost all enthusiasm now. But won't give up. Time for bed I feel. Must remember to call docs for day 21 blood test and must remember to take vitamins! X

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

I totally know how you feel Gemmy! The only good thing I can say is that this TTC has definitely brought my DH & I closer together with all the BDing we have to do!!!

What vitamins are you taking?

 

[eyemom]

Edit: holy smokes, sorry for the wall of text!

Hi tommy, yes I'm sure that I'm ovulating. I have pretty regular cycles, never missed a period (except for being pregnant), I get +opks followed by a sustained thermal shift every month without fail. No concern there. I was just curious about the CD3 and CD21 testing because I hear so much about it but never heard anything about it from my Dr. Just from what I googled, the CD21 testing was progesterone and estradiol and detecting ovulation from that. I thought maybe progesterone levels might be good to know for more than just detecting ovulation, but I don't know? But if the main goal of CD21 testing is detecting ovulation, I'm not as concerned about that. But CD3 includes other hormones I never had tested. So I'm less concerned about the CD21 testing and more just curious about the other hormones checked on CD3. Before looking it up, seeing all this talk about CD21 (which I'm less concerned about now) and CD3 bloods (which I'm still curious about) and yet not hearing about it from my Dr...made me wonder if my Dr wasn't doing something I should ask for...or if he had good reason to not recommend them. I don't want to go through pointless testing just so he can appease me. But I don't want to invest in expensive treatments that are doomed to fail. I think he's a reliable Dr. I just get super curious about things I don't understand so my mind goes every which way wondering about every possible scenario. But anyway, thanks for sharing your experience.

Sounds like you are making a good decision about skipping the Femara this cycle. Makes a lot of sense. That is soooo exciting about Disney! So soon!

Lanet, I am an optometrist, so people tell me some interesting things too, though probably not as interesting as the things they tell you! But still I can somewhat relate. Good job keeping your poker face. Kind of a tangent of tommy's theory, I kind of wondered if she wanted to make sure she kept this guy? I don't know, it's probably bad of me to think things like that. Still wishing you lots of luck on your IUI stuff! And that's wonderful that you are feeling so great!

And yeah, on the topic of being different from a lot of people struggling to conceive because we each have a child already. It is really weird. I don't know about you, but I feel sort of bad commiserating with the ladies who don't have children because it is different, and I feel like they're sitting back thinking, "well at least you have a kid, I'd be happy if I just had one." Ya know? I mean, I would probably feel that way if I didn't have any. And I do feel tremendously blessed for the one I have. BUT. It doesn't suck any less when you feel so overwhelmingly that your family is not yet complete. There is still an intense longing for a child we don't have yet. You NEVER see it coming because you think, "Well, I have one, I'll be able to do it again!" And then it doesn't happen.... And you run into all kinds of people who also assume you should be able to conceive at will with comments like, "time for another!" Anyway, this has come up in this thread before, so I should probably keep my rants to myself, but giiiirrrrl I FEEL you. *lol*

AND UGH that age gap thing. I have had a few well-meaning acquaintances try to educate me about how I don't want my kids too far apart, I need to hurry up and have another. I just wanna be like WELL YOU KNOW WHAT I AM HURRYING. Hahaha. I tend to be a pretty private person with the people I meet in real life (especially since most of them are my patients and really it's none of their business). I just get sick of people thinking that I should just be able to have one whenever I want. I'm with tommy...I wanted mine 2 years apart. Which would have been awesome in a way, but I'm starting to see some advantages of a LITTLE bigger age gap. But still, if I could have my miscarriage magically undone, I would in a heartbeat (my due date was 2 years +1 day after DD's birthday). I'm also now looking at a 3.5 year age gap under the best of circumstances, like this cycle or next. Which...is okay. Just not what I wanted. I wanted my kids going to school together and stuff. I'm trying to trust that things are going to turn out the way they are meant to be, but it's very hard to do. I'm slowly getting less worked up about the age gap thing...probably because my ideal is so far gone it hardly matters anymore. But now the goal is more just having another kid rather than having kids ___ years apart.

Anyway, orchid, I'm just wrapping up CD14. I think I'm 1-3 dpo. 3 dpo is unlikely because it's the same day as my first +opk (I only do them at night though). But I've ovulated on the same day as my first +opk before, so stranger things have happened. I'm not sure I'm going to get my cross hairs on fertility friend this time because 1) I didn't temp well while traveling (before ov), and 2) I kind of hovered in between my usual pre-ov and post-ov temps for a few days, so I don't know what ff will make of that. This morning, my temp was high enough that I have NEVER temped that high without having ovulated so I think I'm finally in the tww.

To answer the question about CD3 testing, I only know what Dr. Google tells me (dangerous, I know). But it's FSH, estradiol, LH, and prolactin. I did have my prolactin checked already, but not the other three. This site seems to explain it pretty well: https://www.babymed.com/fertility-problems/cycle-day-3-fertility-testing

Orchid, this cycle is sounding good. Really hoping it all means something! If you test, how long do you think you'd wait to do so? (Sorry if you said already, my reading comprehension is failing....)

Everyone else...hi!