35 and over and ltttc for baby #2 for over 2.5yrs!

[Braven05]

Doing okay here. Cd1always makes me feel a little crazy. I go see the Dr again for my weigh in on Thursday

 

[eyemom]

Aw man sorry AF got you. Good luck on Thursday!

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Hi ladies! Mind if I join? I know u have been going for a while. Here is a little about me to get the background picture:
I am 36 (37 in Feb), married, ds is 11 (previous relationship) and dd will be 2 Jan. 1. We have been ttc #3 for 14 cycles, ob/gyn told me I don't need testing done to see if I have any issues as I'm just getting old and so are my eggs. She retires in 2 weeks and needless to say I asked for a referral to be sent to a new gyn a few days after her non "diagnosis". I am beyond frustrated with ttc but dh really wants another. I do too but not sure how many more cycles I can go through. I can't relax and let it happen as I am aware of every day of my cycle (textbook normal). Please help!

 

[eyemom]

Hi Ready! Welcome. We love new ladies but of course hate that you find yourself in this boat. That is super frustrating about your doctor. Hoping your new ob has a clue! I totally know what you mean how it's impossible to just forget ttc when you've learned to pay attention to every clue your body gives you. Can't just tune that out. Hope you can get some REAL help...or hey a surprise bfp why not.... Very soon!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Eyemom - big hugs! Stressing about work is not what you need so I'm glad you are taking such a positive attitude and don't worry about what ppl think - your clients will know how competent you are!

Braven - so sorry the wicked b/witch got you! How have you been doing?

Tommy - how did today go?! I've been thinking of you and REALLY hoping all looked good so you can do IUI later this week

Readynwaiting Sorry you are in this situation but happy you have joined our thread! Everyone is pretty much suffering from SI for different reasons so lots and lots of advice and help! I can't believe the advice you got from your Dr!!! That is so insulting - thank God she is retiring, clearly she doesn't care. Here's hoping your new Dr is much better and a lot more understanding! Have you had any tests done at all? Did you have any issue getting pregnant with your 2 year old? You aren't alone and I know how you feel.... It's been 3 years for us and I am exhausted but just can't give up!

Hi to everyone else - how are you all? x

 

[tommyg]

Hello
Sorry my reply last night was rather short. Was typing on my phone and was heading for bed. However we have managed to get our laptop sorted by resetting it and starting again. It's less than a year old but every time it updated the internet would stop working and it was a faff to get it going again.

Ready hello and welcome hope your stay here is short but you have found a fab bunch of ladies. Have you had any tests done on you or DH?

Braven sorry the wicked one got you. Good luck for Thursday I think I'd be tempted to ask how much they are expecting you to loose before treatment. Fingers crossed they are happy and good to go with what you have lost.

Eyemom people would never assume it would be a competence issue as to why somebody has moved on. Most likely they'll assume new baby has meant giving up work, as childcare is so expensive. Or they will assume a t&cs issue. However as one door closes another is sure to open it always does might not be the one you want but something will come up.

Wish how are you? must be weird having your baby so far away from you.

AFM Scan went okish, she has given my 2 more doses of gonal-f and I have another scan Thursday. Hoping my follies are big enough to trigger with IUI on Friday.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Thanks for the warm welcome! I'm sure my first few posts are going to seem a little self-serving but its only until I get caught up on everyone and know your stories. To answer ur questions I have had no testing nor has dh. I waited a full yr before going to see my dr as I just had faith that it would happen. Cycle 12 opened my eyes and I saw my dr that tried to tell me all that I needed to know to get pg. I'm a bit obsessive when it comes to google and looking for info so I think I'm well versed with ttc. Nothing she told me was helpful in any manner and then she ended it with the old me/old eggs comment. I'm in Canada so trying to get stuff done here takes time as we have universal health care. I had to see my gp to get a referral to a new gyno which whenever I do get in will take time to start testing for possible issues. Hence my frustration! So I continue to read and take a mitt full of vitamins while exercising and doing regular femoral massages. Any other advice I will take gladly. As far as when ttc dd I got pg 1st month ntnp but ended in m/c at 4w5d, started trying 3 months after and got pg on the 4th month which ended with an ectopic. Got pg with dd 5 months after that. So not an easy road.
For those that have conceived was it natural or with intervention? What kinds of fertility issues were diagnosed?

 

[tommyg]

I've PCOS which equal very irregular cycles 4-12 weeks is normal for me on a natural cycle. However we managed with some beginners luck to get DS with just 5/6 mths of trying.
I've had 6 rounds of letrozole / femara and one failed IUI they are still at the juggling IUI meds but with a bit of luck I should be ready for IUI 2 this week.
No issues with DH.
With fertility everybody looks at the ladies but there is no point doing invasive tests on the lady before the easy tests on the man. I'm in Scotland and it's not uncommon for GP to want a SA done before referal to infertility clinic.

 

[Braven05]

Tommy I'm right there with you. I already called and asked that because I don't want to waste time and money if he won't start me on meds again. She was supposed to call me back but she hasn't yet. I'll call if I haven't heard from her by this evening.

Orchid I'm doing okay. I've lost 14 lbs so far. Cd2 right now. Nothing else really of note other than I'm excited for the holidays. How are you?

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Tommy and braven are you over 35? I'm almost 37 so that is an issue (for some). I just heard from my new gyno and I have an appt January 15. For those that have gone through with testing what all should I ask about?
Braven-congrats on the weight loss! Ive been trying to lose 20 lbs all year but have a real hard time not eating stupid foods. How have u done it?

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Braven that is so good!! I would definitely pester the nurse until you hear - don't want a wasted trip

Ready - I'm in Canada too so I understand how long things take..... With us we had no issues getting pregnant with our DS.... It happened on cycle 5 (when we weren't meant to be trying of course!!!). After we had been TTC #2 for a year we went for tests and found out we are dealing with MFI... DH has a really low count, low motility and major morphology issues. We eat very healthy and do everything we are supposed to do but 3 years later and still no BFP... The once vice we have is we like to enjoy wine but its only at weekends and we don't drink loads. We did stop for a few months but nothing.... What has caused the MFI, I have no idea but it is sooo frustrating. DH tried Fertilaid for 3 months but still no BFP - whether it helped his count etc I don't know as he hasn't been for a SA in over a year now.... We are off to the Fertility Specialist in Jan so for now really just waiting for that to happen....

As for your appt... do you temp at all? I remember saying your cycles are spot on every month but just wondering if you temp at all to see a clear rise in BBT. Most likely your Dr will start with blood tests on you - Day 21 and maybe day 3 (although I just had my Day 3 blood tests done!!!).... She might also suggest a scan. I agree with what Tommy said and think it is absolutely equally important that your DH gets a SA done... sometimes you just never know and I went through a year of thinking the issue was with me which I couldn't understand as my cycles are also super regular etc and turns out it's with DH.... Once you have had the basic tests depending on the results they might start with further invasive tests - HSG to start with.... Here's hoping you get that BFP before any of that is needed though

Tommy - grow follies grow!!!

 

[eyemom]

Hey tommy! Thanks for the update! Thanks for what you said about work. I think you're right, probably most people will think I chose to move on or I changed things up because of the new baby. I just don't know what the current optometrist and the new optometrist will tell my old patients when they ask. I got along great with my patients though, so I really shouldn't worry about it. Good luck on Thursday! Hope for perfect follies!!

Hi ReadynWaiting, no worries, there's too much to get caught up on all at once! I'll tell you a little about my journey. I'm 32. I got pg with my DD1 in 2010 on our 8th cycle of trying. So long enough for me to start to worry, but not long enough to suggest that something was really wrong. I'd been charting most of that time because I wanted to be ahead of the game just in case there was an issue, and my charts looked good at least. We wanted our kids to be 2 years apart, and I conceived again on our 2nd cycle of trying that time. My DD1's birthday was Feb 23, and that due date was Feb 24, 2013, so 2 years and 1 day apart. Seemed so perfect. However, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. After conceiving so easily that time though, I was confident I'd get pregnant again. Meanwhile, I had to change doctors because of a change in our insurance (I'm in the US). I loved my old obgyn and, while not an RE, she was an expert in fertility issues. But I never got to see her about it because by the time I'd been trying long enough to know there WAS a problem, I had to find a new doctor. Thankfully by the time I got to see him, I had a year or so worth of charts and he agreed that they looked perfectly normal, with maybe one weird month. I had a couple of blood tests done right away: prolactin and TSH. They were both normal. He wanted DH to have an SA before doing anything else. DH had SA, he's a rock star. I felt even crappier and confused that even THAT sperm couldn't get me pregnant. Next I had an HSG to make sure my tubes were clear, and they that came out perfect as well. Tried for 3 more cycles after that to see if fertility was enhanced following that test, but no luck. Then I started on Clomid, kind of as a booster because I for sure ovulated fine on my own, and I got pregnant on my 2nd cycle of clomid (cycle 21 after my m/c). Never found out why I couldn't get pregnant, and while I'm super thankful there was a solution, I still really would like to know what the problem was. I just had my second daughter 4 weeks ago today. I stick around because I love these ladies plus I want to cheer you all on.

That's great you got your appointment pretty soon! Hope it goes great! I think Orchid is spot on for what you can expect from your appointment. I think she's the only other one is this thread in Canada? (Is that right?) So she might be the best insight for you. When I saw my Dr for the first time, if I didn't already have charts to show him, he might have sent me home to chart a few months before doing anything else, but who knows, I'm only speculating. But I've known it to happen.

Braven, hope you get a call back soon. But you should be very proud of what you've accomplished.

AFM - DD2 is 4 weeks today! Whoa! I have one sore boob, and I had a close brush with mastitis at about this stage with DD1, so I hope I'm not going down that road. Trying to prevent it. Other than that, not a lot going on here. Just tired.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Whiteorchid-thanks for giving me the info. I suspect the issues may lie with dh only because he is a smoker and regular beer drinker. He drinks too much coffee and just isn't healthy. I exercise regularly, eat fairly well (slight sugar addiction), don't consume very much caffeine and take a lot of vitamins and supplements. I temp, chk cm and cp and have tracked my cycles since we startec ttc again last year. I am concerned that maybe my eggs are depleted and of not good quality. Who does the SA? Can his gp request it?
Eyemon-huge congrats on the new bundle! That is very exciting/exhausting. Dd1 shares my bday! Why did the dr prescribe clomid if u ov'd fine on ur own?

 

[eyemom]

Thanks ready! Yeah exciting and exhausting sums it up! That's fun that you and my dd are birthday buddies. I don't know about there, but here a GP can order an SA or your obgyn could as well.

I think in part they like to try Clomid because it's cheap if it works. The logic was maybe it'd get me to drop more eggs, increasing the odds of catching one. I had to sign a thing saying I was fine with multiples, but anything higher order than twins is still exceedingly rare. I've also heard it can make you ovulate "better," though I can't remember all the ins and outs of why that is.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Ready - do you think he would be willing to stop smoking and cut down on the beer? I know for some guys its not possible but might be worth a try, especially since he is so keen to have another. That being said sometimes they need to hear/see the results for themselves to actually believe they could be the issue!!

Your GP can certainly give you the requisition for the SA... As for where you get it done it will depend on where you live I think. We are in the West of Canada and had to go to specific labs which is a huge pain...

Maybe try talking to DH and see what he is willing to do - cutting out the smoking, drinking and caffeine might be too much all at once so see if he can start by reducing them and go from there! Hope it works!

Edit: Should clarify - your GP should be able to give him the req. providing DH is also a patient of his, otherwise I imagine DH might have to go himself to his Dr to ask for one...

 

[Braven05]

Gah I throw in the towel I guess. RE won't help me, wants more loss. I wish he had this much to say about it at my first visit before I spent hundreds of dollars in appointments. I guess now I continue to work on my weight and maybe some healing and working on letting go. Thanks for everyone's support.

 

[Wish4another1]

Braven I am so sorry about your stupid doctor... is there anyone else you can go to???
if not I am really sorry... we are here to vent to if you need us...

 

[eyemom]

Ugh sorry braven. Try not to forget that you ARE doing great. So frustrating though.

 

[tommyg]

Braven that is pants I'd be tempted to complain about his clinic not telling you are your very first appointment. My first appointment with my clinic I was measured and weighed. You are doing fab to be shedding the pounds so keep going with it. That alone could help your chances.

Wish how are you doing? Is your chart looking odd?

Ready with us we were ready to get refered first time round. My GP wanted DHs SA so DH went to his GP who organised it, and gave him the results which I was meant to take to my GP but I got my BFP before we got the SA back. Second time round he came to my GP appointment with me, by then we were in the same practice so they could check his records etc but she was happy to refer me without it but the fertility clinic did it as one of their first tests.

Eyemom, not sure how well this would go down in the "eye" world but I have spotted hairdressers put ads in the local paper "come meet our new stylist" with photo of new recuit enabling clients to follow...When do you think you'll be ready to start back work?

 

[Braven05]

Thanks. I can't even deal with this right now. It's hubby's birthday and I don't want to put a damper on it so I'm holding it in. I am so furious and feel so hopeless.

I feel like he led me along for money and when he saw my insurance wasn't paying him the rate he wanted he decided my weight was a big problem.

He said, lose 100 lbs. My weight is an issue but I wasn't 100 lbs lighter when I got pregnant with my dd. I would not have gone back to him for even a second appointment if I had known he was that concerned with me getting pregnant.

The nurse said, "He doesn't think it would be good for you or the baby if you got pregnant at this weight." I was the same weight at the first appointment.

And I can't see anyone else because of insurance.