35 and over and ltttc for baby #2 for over 2.5yrs!

[eyemom]

Hi ladies! I don't know if anyone knows me anymore, but I'm still cheering you on. I tried to wait until I had the time to write everyone individually, then the thread moved so fast that before I know it, I'm too behind to ever hope to catch up.

Hope everyone is doing okay.

coquis, I know it's hard to see people with babies when you want one soooo badly. But this is the 35 and and trying thread, so I'm not sure how that will be received since most of us are in our mid to late 30s...or so. I don't know though maybe I'm slow and I just don't get it?

 

[tommyg]

Hello everyone

AFM going to the city yesterday was nice but depressing. I saw at least 5 women their with little babies around 1 month old or less. Most of them were at least 35 and I wonder how they are able to when ladies like us can't. Must be something in Hispanic blood that makes them fertile. (I was at the Mexican Embassy)

Sorry not quiet with you. You just don't know how fortunate you are to have been able to have 6 children without any issue, many would consider you to be very fertile. For all you know those ladies you saw may have been TTC for years or had help.
You just never know somebody's story or what they have been through.

 

[Mooshie]

I'm afraid I have to agree with TommyG and Eyemom on this one. Maybe this thread isn't for you Coquis.

I will be 37 this year and honestly never thought I would be this age and be struggling to have another baby. There are women on this thread who have been trying a lot longer than me and have gone through a hell of a lot worse than I have to have a much longed for second child.

You really are very very fortunate to have 6 children before age 30 without any issues and whilst we understand that you so desperately want a 7th, I don't really think judging women on their age (or race) is particularly welcome considering the title of this thread.

 

[Cookie1979]

I'm really lost, coquis do you have kids or not? I've totally missed this information. I thought we were all in our 30s (mostly 35+) experiencing secondary infertility...secondary as in struggling to conceive number 2. I'm confused, but it doesn't take much! lol

Had my blood test this morning for Rubella, the nurse said if its low I'll probably need a booster which is 1 jab, but if I no longer have any immunity I'd probably need 2, which means 1 lets say next week, and 1 a month after, and then I'd have to stop trying for a month after that. So If the latter happens we'd have to stop trying til April

 

[tommyg]

Cookie if you read back a few pages she has 6 kids the youngest 2 are 2.5 and 4. She's been trying with man no3 for a year for baby7. While we understand the desire for another....

Good it's only one jag for you. I'm not even convinced anybody has looked at my rubella immunity.

 

[Mooshie]

Had my blood test this morning for Rubella, the nurse said if its low I'll probably need a booster which is 1 jab, but if I no longer have any immunity I'd probably need 2, which means 1 lets say next week, and 1 a month after, and then I'd have to stop trying for a month after that. So If the latter happens we'd have to stop trying til April

I didn't realise you could lose your immunity to Rubella. You learn something new everyday! I was tested for it when I was pregnant with my son, I did have rubella when i was about 8 or 9 though so I think I have natural immunity.

I know what you mean about the age gap. I always wanted mine quite close together as there are only 2 years between myself and my brother and we had a great relationship as kids. The way it is though, there will be at least 4 years between them if we do have another. I was chatting with a girl today who had a 7 year old and a 2.5 year old and she said they get on fabulously (most of the time!). She said the youngest adored his big brother which i thought was really sweet.

Interesting about the ICSI/IVF/IUI processes TommyG. I have a friend who has really struggled with fertility. She had 2 miscarriages, one was ectopic and she lost a tube. She was then diagnosed with PCOS and her hubby's SA was low and they were told that the chances of them having children naturally were really low. They tried IUI twice and they both failed. They then tried IVF twice, the first failed but the second worked and she just gave birth to her little girl in January. Science is amazing isn't it?

 

[Wish4another1]

ladies!!

I've been reading but not much to say!

I agree about the comments toward the poster with 6 kids - wanting a child is wanting a child - but probably not the right thread for her. I wish her the best...

Tommy - Ugh!!! I hope somehow your cycle moves along or you get a 9 month cyle with a baby at the end!!! all this waiting sometimes.... its for the birds....

Mooshie - I think all age gaps work - one way or the other... we should've worry about things we cant change... easier said than done!!
good luck on your next steps...

Cookie - I feel for your end of the year deadline - I agree with your emotional vested statement... my hubby thinks it easy to just decide we are done!!! well its not for me! here's hoping a miracle happens for us both

AFM: nothing TTC to report - and I am accepting that my be how it is... 2 more packs of BCP's to take... My husband and I are buying a new house on 20 acres !!! it came as a surprise but I am stoked!! we are having some of the sweetest conversations about the house and the future - it is so nice to not cry and feel happy inside for a change... there may not be a baby - but we have a future...
Love you ladies! have a great weekend - I am leaving for Poland Sunday so I may not be reading or posting - I don't know! See you on Frday the 13th!!!

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Happy Friday everyone!!

Coquis - I have to agree with all the other ladies.... I couldn't quite work out what you meant by your comment but I can only assume it is an age comment (and not a racist one). While I don't want you to feel unwelcome and that we are against you (or all ganging up) I do feel that maybe you would be able to get more support from ladies that are going through what you are (ie. have several children and perhaps a little younger if age is an issue for you.). While I understand that the desire to have a child is overwhelming regardless of how many you have, the majority of the ladies on here are struggling for #2 (or 3) and have been for a long time. We are also (for the most part) 35+ or there around. I am a total example of that as it's been over 3 years for me trying for #2 and my DS is now 5. I never in my wildest dreams imagined this would happen to me (like everyone else on here) and I am very aware of my age and links to fertility and the stigma of being 35+ (trust me!) but what does help is being surrounded by ladies in the same situation, going through what I am and understanding all of the emotions that go with it. Personally I use to always want 3 children.... now 2 would be an absolute dream (and miracle most likely!) so while I understand you want desperately to have a baby with your husband and for him to have one biological child, 7 children is a lot to grasp for the ppl on this board who for the most part are trying desperately to provide just 1 sibling for the child we are so lucky to have. So please don't feel like we are being mean or are against you, you just need to understand who we all are and what we are going through and how your comment was taken. I wish you the best and hope you get what you are looking for and can find peace with whatever happens. And in the meantime enjoy the amazing family that you have!

To everyone else a big hello I hope you all have a great weekend.

Wish - have an amazing trip! And stay warm

AFM: Hubby & I are away for the w/e (not for romantic purposes!!) and I am just waiting for the witch to appear... (definitely not romantic! ) Then it's start of a new chapter for us and our first IUI... I'm a little nervous about the Femara and possible side effects but I will more than gladly take them at this point! Have a lovely weekend ladies

 

[tommyg]

This will be the 3rd time I've tried to type this reply

Orchard enjoy your trip. Is DS going with you or have you a bit of time for romance? Hope the evil one is kind to you if (when) she arrives. I can only imagine your excitement at starting your IUI cycle esp after so long trying without any help.

Wish I hope you also enjoy your trip. Getting to see countries that you otherwise wouldn't visit has to be the upside of being in the military. Hope you don't get too cold.

Mooshie Always good to hear a good success story. One thing I was told when I lost my second one was that PCOS makes you more likely to MC because of the egg quality. However that doesn't explain your friends etopic that has to be classed as bad luck. But if you want to think positive your friend is lucky to have been able to access the help needed to deal with it.
I continue to count my blessings that modern medicine exists and I live in a country where I can access it. The NHS has saved my life twice.

Cookie when are you likely to get your blood results?

Eyemom, how are things with 2?

AFM I have resorted to a herbalist to try and knock my cycles into shape, since I've been put on hold for a minimum of 3 weeks, by the NHS. I know that isn't an overly long time but I just can't deal with the hopelessness that it brings. She has given me a cocktail of stuff to take twice a day. Will see if it does anything for me.
I've also decided to kick the caffeine and diet coke. I managed this before and it seemed to sort out the sort boobs in the 2WW so AF managed to turn up unannounced. But like everything else it slowly crept back in. But this time I'm trying to switch to herbal and spicy teas. Currently got a crazy caffeine headache.

 

[tommyg]

Mooshie Cookie Bex how are you all doing? Its gone all quiet in here.

Wish and Orchard are both away this weekend.

 

[Cookie1979]

Whiteorchid - good luck with your first iui xxx

Tommyg - I hope the herbs help your cycles, I used to have a period once every 3 months...It's hugely frustrating. X

AFM - I should get my blood test results Tuesday/Wednesday, and my period is due around then too, so need to be sure I'm definitely not pregnant before I have the mmr but I hope I'd get it by the end of the week.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend, I went out last night...night on the town but didn't stay out mega late, realised I'm just not into boogeying the night away. Going out to dinner later for my sister's birthday, not a good weekend for my diet.

Hope everyone is ok xx

 

[Mooshie]

10dpo for me and bfn. Got major PMS and don't feel pregnant whatsoever so I know I'm out this month again. AF is due on Friday when we have a pre-arranged date night sorted with baby sitter overnight and everything. Our first night out together since October, and it feels like we can't even enjoy it properly so feeling really low today. I've been thinking about the whole ttc thing in general today and am thinking about stopping trying for a while. It's becoming too stressful for me.

Hope you're all ok and have had a nice weekend x

 

[tommyg]

Cookie did you do anything to shorten your cycles? Hope all goes well with your blood results.

Mooshie sorry you are feeling out, in my view you aren't out until the evil one arrives. I think we all understand the frustration of LTTTC. During this journey I've had a few forced breaks for one reason or another and if I'm being really honest we've needed them. It is easy to become immersed in TTC. I hope you enjoy your night out.

AFM Took DS to a birthday party I almost cried when a mum pulled a 2 week old out the pram, another mum confessed to having a 7 week old. When will it be my turn?

 

[Srbjbex]

Hi all. I've had a nice family weekend. My parents were here to stay and we saw my sister to do went to our local National Trust and took advantage of the nice weather today.

Sorry to hear everyone is feeling a bit low. I definitely get it, LTTTC is rubbish. I actually cheered out loud when listening to the radio when someone called in and was chatting about their 2 children. One was 5 and the other a few months. Hooray! I thought. Someone who has a bigger than 2-3 year age gap. I was beginning to think these people don't exist!

Mooshie - definitely have break if you need to. Would a break for you mean ntnp or actually preventing? A few months ago we agreed to ntnp for a bit which I found impossible as I know my body well enough to know when I'm ov ing. But it did help to stop temping /opks, to stop taking vitamins etc.

Cookie - I hope this week brings lots of good news for you! One way or another!

Tommy - I had a friend announce pregnancy #3 today. That's a real stinger!

But I'm into my fertile week so plenty of BDing to be done!

 

[Cookie1979]

Mooshie - Maybe a break would do you good, I have found Im less stressed now I've stopped temping and using opks, I do check my cm as I like to have some idea of when ovulation is happening as my cycles vary, but other than that I'm keeping it much more relaxed. Not that I'm pregnant yet but I'm not stressing either. Keeping my fingers crossed for this cycle though, you never know. Always got to have hope.

tommyg - I lost weight to shorten my cycles, my cycles are governed by my weight, as soon as I weigh abit more they get longer, when I lose they get shorter. Still have weight to lose so hopefully once I lose more they will improve even more, but its really hard to lose weight so its not a quick fix.

I think like anything when you are aware of something you see it everywhere, so with us all wanting number 2 so badly, everywhere we go we see mums with 2 kids. Does my head in! Sometimes I feel like no one else around here has 1.

Not alot going on with me, just waiting for my period to arrive, the day I think it should arrive is based on cm, so its not accurate, but should be this week. Today is cd 36. Time will tell if my guesstimation is correct.

My friend who is due on April 1st posted a picture of her little boy (who is 10 days younger than my son) holding a sign saying "I'm going to be a big brother" it was like getting kicked in the stomach. Out of everyone I know, finding out my friend (she's my oldest friend) is expecting hurt the most, especially as she always said she didn't want another. Seeing that pic just made me think that my little boy isn't going to be able to do that, really hurt. I feel quite a resentment, which is not fair on her, and it doesn't make sense that out of everyone I'm struggling the most with her, but I am. I just find it easier to avoid her than deal with it and how it makes me feel.

x

 

[lanet]

Tommy every time I start a reply it freezes and I have to start over. Hugs to you, it WILL be your turn one day!

 

[x-ginge-x]

:wave: hi, i'm only 24 and suffer with pcos, was told I would struggle for number one ( i did for 3 years with a previous partner) then bam first real month i didnt protect and I now have a 2 year old son, miscarried in june 2013 and nothing since

 

[tommyg]

Bex Good luck with the BDing.

Cookie I think my weight has something to do with it. But at the same time even at my skinniest 9st my cycles were irregular. However working to try and get back to that 2st to loose. Its hard when friends with kids the same age as yours announce pregnancies. I have 2 friends with kids the same age as mine they both announced pregnancies with in weeks of each other and have a fairly ideal 3 years between their kids. I cope much better once I'd seen the babies.

Lanet thanks for taking the time to lend support. I really appreciate it. Hope you are hanging on in there. Hugs to you. Is DH lending a good hand around the house?

Orchard how was you weekend?
Wish if your reading hope you aren't too cold, Mrs?

Ginge - you are welcome to join us, but please remember it is the 35+ thread I think all of us are in our 30's at least me for not much longer!

 

[lanet]

Tommy DH is having to do EVERYTHING, he's really being a trooper

 

[Cookie1979]

tommy - I wish I knew of a sure fire way to help long irregular cycles, I've always envied those that have a nice 28 day cycle every single month, and ovulate at the same time. Must make things so much easier.

I had pink streaks in my cm yesterday so I think AF will arrive today, I have been one moody cow. This morning when I put the heating on it was making a funny noise so my husband got an earful, told him no lets just ignore it, lets ignore everything thats a problem in our lives and not bother fixing anything!! I think I have some deeper issues going on there. Slight overreaction to a boiler making a funny noise. He's probably thinking is it that time of the month, but thought better than to say it...I would have hulked out!! lol

xx