4DPO today (This is an old thread!!!!)

[Naaxi]

She didn't get in to their arrangements, but I think this woman raises the child alone. And thank you. I believe it was my calling to help someone as a surrogate, and my husband is on board too

Don't worry, hunny. Your energy WILL come back. It just takes a while Hopefully tour exhaustion isn't replaced with severe "morning" sickness for 34+ weeks like it was for me. I actually lost weight while pregnant, only gained about 11 pounds from my before and lost that during birth.

 

[diamondlove33]

She didn't get in to their arrangements, but I think this woman raises the child alone. And thank you. I believe it was my calling to help someone as a surrogate, and my husband is on board too

Don't worry, hunny. Your energy WILL come back. It just takes a while Hopefully tour exhaustion isn't replaced with severe "morning" sickness for 34+ weeks like it was for me. I actually lost weight while pregnant, only gained about 11 pounds from my before and lost that during birth.

Lol i'm glad to hear my energy will come back!! i'm just praying i don't get awful morning sickness!! A coworker of mine had it throughout her entire pregnancy as well! Its crazy i've heard of women saying 'you've never been so tired' and they were right! This is a whole other level! hhaha i'm a total clean freak and all of the cleaning and stuff has gone completely by the wayside! But you better believe we eat dinner every night and man are they delish!! haha only good thing about me being hungry all the time is everyone is eating good food!!

 

[Eltjuh]

Wow! I feel bad for your friend!! That must've been awful!! Can't believe someone would do that! Though I guess it was her baby biologically so that would explain a lot!
I was terrified to talk to my husband about possibly being a surrogate for my sister.... Obviously I had to talk to him before I could offer it to her cause it's his life aswell... But I was scared he'd say no. He thinks my sister is very judgemental and he doesn't like her much... He likes her, but doesn't agree with things she says and the way she acts sometimes.... The only reason why she is like that sometimes though is cause she still sees me as her 5 year old little sister (she's 8 years older than me) but sometimes she seems so much more immature than I am! We get on pretty well, as long as she doesn't start talking about the way I live my life (when it comes to money and stuff like that). When I was pregnant last year she wasn't even happy for me, all she could say was like: are you happy about it? Do you think it's smart to have a baby right now?? We even thought about telling people that we used contraception but it still happened, just because we knew some people would judge us for getting pregnant eventhough it was a total accident!!! But they'd probably say, if I was in your situation I'd MAKE SURE I wouldn't get pregnant... you know what I mean... I hate it when people are judgemental cause no one really truely knows what your life is like and what you can and can't afford and what you can and can't handle. Anyways, that's why I was kind of scared about asking my hubby cause I thought he wouldn't want me to do it for her...

When I was pregnant with my son I was really really tired aswell! And my appetite was exactly the other way around, I was never hungry and hubby had to tell me to eat something, kind of like a kid and go: you have to eat at least this much on your plate I kind of survived on a packet of crisps (or potato chips ) and a tiny bit of dinner in the evenings. And I was very lucky that I didn't get ANY morning sickness at all.... I really don't know how you girls get/got through being sick all the time!!

 

[Naaxi]

I wish food had appealed to me while pregnant vut after the umpteeth time clinging to the toilet, the look of food started to lose its appeal. I forced myself a lot of the time and so didn't chew well, which sucks coming up btw. Lol. I remember going to a friend's for a BBQ and only being able to eat pickles without being sick... so I thought... and ate so many of them because I was starved... well thst was a mess hahaha.

Aaaanyways. Lol. I don't know why people feel entitled to judge others. It is none of anyones business what we choose to do as adults. My husband's ex knows we want another baby (I told her to get input because I know that his older kids will freak out- they are so money oriented) but now she will bring it up with him. And it is not her choice. I was not asking her if we SHOULD have another, just how to go about talking to his kids about it. But whatever. They are almost 19 and almost 17. They can accept it or go live with their mother and/or a place of their own. And his ex has no right to judge, they had their oldest when she was 17/18 and he was 19. At least I was 21 when he was born, and will be 23 in august, and hubby is almost 40 now, I want him to still have some energy for the next as well. (Yes, DH is much older than me.)

 

[Eltjuh]

I'm 24, 25 in November. And hubby is 31 on the 18th of April.

And I'm not judging Considering this seems to be the non-judging thread haha.

I just hate it that my sister still seems to think I'm 5 years old and can't handle anything or don't know anything.... My other sister, who is 9 years older than me actually asked me whether we were trying again, and not to judge me or anything like that, just because she was wondering, as obviously she knew about the miscarriage and her and her husband were trying aswell... and succeeded. I don't see why my younger sister seems to be so judgemental and the other one isn't at all and would be happy for me when I get pregnant again.
After we had the miscarriage my sister (the younger one) said to me: I know what it's like to have a miscarriage (she's the one that had trouble to stay pregnant and I offered to be a surrogate for) and then she said: I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but maybe it's better for you guys in the situation you're in! - Not the fact that I had a miscarriage but more the fact that I wasn't pregnant (anymore).... I can't believe anyone would say that! 1 of my friends said the same sort of thing, I know they don't mean it in a mean way and they don't mean that it's good that I had a miscarriage but that's kind of how it felt... And then that friend finds out a little after my mc that she is pregnant herself when she didn't even want to have another child and especially not with her husband because they were gonna split up!! I was pretty upset that she was pregnant and it still kind of hurts me when she says things to me like she did today... she said: I can't wait to have it out already! (the baby that is!)
I get a bit annoyed and upset sometimes when I find out other people are pregnant and I'm not!! haha. The other day my son was watching peppa pig and someone was pregnant on there and I was like: even she is pregnant!! I WANT A BABY!!! hahaha

 

[Naaxi]

People are so inconsiderate of others' feelings. Like how rude... I think a lot of times people just don't know what to say in a situation like that. Like you lost a child, it is a hard topic to deal with so sooo many people just brush it under the rug as something taboo and I think that makes it hard for people to understand how they SHOULD act in response. But I know I would never dream of implying it is a good thing. But I bet some that would are just trying to put your mind (or theirs) at ease, and aren't aware that it is faaaar from what they are really doing.

So I just came home from hanging out with our donor (lol, it is an odd set up. He is kind of oir best friend, no one knows he is the donor) Anyways, he asked when we were going to start. I said we could do one Wednesday and he was like "today? *eyebrow wiggle*" lmao. I was like ummmmm no. Way too early. I am still on AF but didn't mention that to him of course. I find it funny he likes helping though, he is excited to get more action for the week or two or whatever. Every couple days until I get a positive OPK and then that day and the day after. This whole situation makes me LOL. I just hope we can get it right this time, I soooo want to be pregnant. Right meow.

 

[Naaxi]

Boop boopidoop. Miss my replies. Hahaha. Going out to hang with the donor again today... my life could be made in to a tv show I'd watch it.

 

[Eltjuh]

haha, it's nice that you're so close with your donor!! You sure you shouldn't have married him instead?? Only joking!!

Me and my LO went out to the shop today to get him a little backpack for nursery.... and then we went to some other shops aswell and as it was just him and me I thought I'd leave the buggy at home.... WHAT A MISTAKE!!! I've still got a headache (about 4hrs later) because of all his screaming!!
He did really well for the first hour and a half or so but then he just started tantruming like mental, screaming, crying and laying on the floor!! Usually I just say, ok bye Lucas and walk away (obviously not too far and keep and eye on him) but he kept doing it for ages and really wound me up! It was so bad I felt like just dragging him through the shop over the floor by 1 of his arms.... Obviously I didn't!! But he's definitely 2 years old alright?! haha

It might sound a bit extreme to you diamondlove, but you'll find out how patient you really are when you have your baby haha I always thought I was pretty patient, turns out I'm nowhere near as patient as I thought I was Kids can really drive you mental sometimes!!
Trust me, when you hear what people do to their kids when they have a postnatal depression, you think: NO WAY!! I could never do that to my child, but once you have one you can sort of understand how it would happen..... Doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna do it, but it becomes much more understandable.

haha, sorry don't mean to scare you!!

 

[Naaxi]

Oh jeez I have been there. LO is gettig two molars right now and HOLY I can only take so much screaming and stomping because I won't pick him up (because I have been holding him for hours) Gahh. They definitely know what buttons to press. And three AM screaming with no progress on comforting definitely puts throttling in to perspective.

 

[Eltjuh]

haha yeah I know!! I used to get so frustrated sometimes if he wouldn't go back to sleep in the middle of the night. Especially if he seemed quiet and literally as soon as you get back in bed he'd start again, and not just once or twice but more like 10 times!! So glad he sleeps through now though!!

When I see other people with their babies that are like newborn or a couple of months old I always wonder how I'm gonna do it with a 2nd one as I can't remember half of how often they're supposed to feed and all that stuff.... It seems like a lifetime ago! And it's only been about a year and a half since he last had bottles (or breastfeeds)

 

[Naaxi]

Our LO is 18 months and still nurses. I am thinking we are going to tandem nurse probably, it doesn't look like he is stopping any time soon. But we will make it work. I think all those scared second thoughts hit everyone who wants to expand their family. But you just find a way. I so hope this is my month. I have the feeling last time was a missed miscarriage, I am still bleeding quite heavily and cramping which I never get with AF. I am glad I stopped testing, because not know for sure that was the case helps.

 

[Eltjuh]

I stopped breastfeeding at 6 months... just kind of had enough of it and thought it would be easier with weaning and that... so I gradually started giving him bottles... like 1 bottle a day for a week or so and then 2 and so on... He was about 7 months when he started sleeping through the night.
I'm not really scared about doing it again, cause obviously I didn't really know what to do before so I know I'll just go with it and I'll get used to it again.
Hopefully we can both get it right this month!!! We should really start BDing now I think... Well at least from wednesday I want to start as that'll be CD14 and I think I'll ovulate on CD18 (or 20). So that should be plenty of BDing.
Lately we've both been tired though and we need to time it properly with hubby's meds, cause it still gives him some trouble so we can only do it before he takes his meds. - Just realised his brother is coming over again, right when we need to start trying haha He's got great timing like that!!

Hope it wasn't a mmc for you, but it might've been I guess if you were late and that's unusual for you.
I'm pretty sure I had one before I was pregnant with my son, cause I was never late and that month I was... never got a positive pregnancy test but when I got AF my cramping was really bad!! Like REALLY bad!! It hurt so much I was crying!! I think if I remember correctly (cause it's hard to compare pain) it was as bad as my contractions were, especially once they established a bit more. I'd never felt that much pain in my life, so me and hubby were pretty sure it was a mc. When we went to the doctor about it all they had to say was: maybe it was just your hormones being a bit off that's why you were late... But we still reckon that wasn't the case.
But I guess like you said if you don't know for sure it's slightly easier cause you don't know!

 

[Naaxi]

We are starting inseminations Wednesday I am kind of excited. Sometimes I wish I could do it the old fashioned way, though Much more fun. And more convenient. I would just do it all the time if it was the old fashioned way hahaha... Not that that always works, but it may be easier than how I have to do things. I still need to buy OPKs... I still have the cheapies but they didn't give me a clear +. I have also been temping at the time of night that I randomly wake up and so far so good. I won't know how reliable they are though until it registers O.

I am so tired today. Feel like naping but expecting friends in 15 mins. Sigh lol.

 

[Eltjuh]

you can still dtd though right?? Even after inseminations??
TBH we don't even do it that much :S Sometimes I wish things were like they were when we first got together... obviously you do it much more often then cause it's all new, but now we don't.... Well we still do it but most of the time it's oral or well you know 'playing' as we call it I have to admit I enjoy that more than actual sex

Ok... different subject now You'd better go to the shop tomorrow then and buy some opk's!! I've got some but I'm not bothering with them this month as I don't wanna waste them considering they're quite expensive and I've not got much hope this month. I'm still temping and considering I've ovulated around the same time for the past couple of months I should be alright, especially cause I'm much more relaxed about the whole thing this month!

How come you're so tired today?? Have you had a busy week??
I've still got a headache from this afternoon when Lucas had his tantrums! I think I'd better take some paracetamol now...

 

[Naaxi]

Well yeah, we can dtd in theory. Dh just shoots blanks so it msy even help give more fluid they can live in... but hubby finds it awkward to dtd with someone else's little buddies up in there hahahaaa I find it hilarious and rib him about it occasionally. It's the opposite for me, it is kind of a turn on I am assuming more for the possibility of getting pregnant.

Aaaanyways... I hope hubby will let me get some OPKs. I also am getting things for my photography that hubby doesn't agree with entirely tomorrow so we will see. I am fairly new with my business and so I put out much more than I get back at the moment. But I need to in order to start making money. He doesn't understand that. Sigh. One day I hope to have that as my full time job.

And I am tired because Rowan(LO) is growing two molars at once and SO needy, and I have been sleeping horribly lately. For example I get up at 3:45am every morning randomly after going to bed around midnight or one.

How are you lately? I am glad you aren't stressed out this month. I hope to try and relax as well...

 

[Eltjuh]

I'm alright, nothing much going on. Just waiting for a new house still....no progress... but we've been waiting for 6 months now with a half packed up house...so i'm used to it but would love it if someone would finally pull their finger out! We're actually considering speaking to newspapers about our situation but then at the same time we don't wanna piss anyone off by doing that and then not getting a housr cause we pissed them off. But the way we've been treated/the situation we're in is just not right. That's not the thanks a soldier that gave 10 years of his life to fight for his country deserves...

Other than that.... not much, just normal.boring stuff. Oh, wait! My son is starting nursery tomorrow! I can't believe it! It's gonna be horrible to leave him there and they said i might have to stay in the place where it is so they can call me if he isn't settling... so we'll see how he does. He's just really attached to me and my hubby as we're always around!

 

[Naaxi]

It really isn't right, how they are treating you. Boo. I hope that you can figure it all out soon. I am guessing you have talked to a few people who have the power to do something, eh? I don't know what to say about all that, it just sucks. Maybe being pregnant will give you leverage though, like I said before. Everyone loves to help a preggo.

And woo! That sounds exciting, hope that he has so much fun he doesn't notice your absence My son is attached to me too but I am staying home with him until he is in preschool. (So four) and the next will hsve to be four as well before I go back to work.

Grr AF go awaaaaaaaay. I know it will be gone by wednesday, our first donation day, but I would like some time without her. Gah. Hoping to not see her again for nine months after this month. I WON'T miss her. Missed going out with the donor yesterday so we are all going swimming together in a few hours. Yay But now I have to shave hahaha.

 

[Eltjuh]

hehe, don't wanna be walking around the swimming pool with hairy legs I hate going swimming when I'm on my period, cause I don't like tampons, I'm always scared it leaks out whilst I'm in the pool or something.... Don't mind wearing tampons so much, the thing I hate the most is when it's all swollen up and you have to take it out, just that feeling makes me cringe!!
So I usually try to avoid them as much as possible.

We weren't gonna have Lucas go to nursery yet but they've started a new program over here for certain 2 year olds to get 15hrs a week of free nursery. And we qualified for it - you need to meet certain requirements - so we thought: why not, it's free and he would benefit from it and it's our only opportunity to be without him aswell.... as my family lives abroad and hubby's family lives about an hour and half away, but we don't have a car and they are always really busy with work (his dad works days and his mum works nights so they don't see each other a lot, so they only have time on weekends when they're off). And hubby is pretty fussy about who looks after Lucas so we don't have many friends that are 'allowed' to look after him

Can't believe your AF is still there!! Surely she must be leaving soon!!! Is it always that long???

 

[Naaxi]

Yeah, AF is usually 7 days for me, sometimes 8. Soooo annoying. My mum has a three day period. Don't know how I got stuck with super long and super heavy flow... sigh. And I am okay with tampons, but like we had mentionned earlier in the thread, I use a menstrual cup which I have grown fond of. And cloth pads as a back up for when I don't insert it properly/ left over on the walls. And no, you won't leak with tampons or cups while swimming- if you did I doubt it would be noticeable. Just change it right before as I am sure you already do

And that makes sense, I would take advantage of that too. Here it costs about 850 $/month and I wasn't making much more than that, I would work to put him in daycare, especially if I was to have another. So I get to stay with him. And I know what you mean, my mum is the only one who has watched Rowan for us, I am the picky one with who can sit him.

Took an OPK hahahaaa just to have a starting point. And went to Costco to see if they had bulk tests for cheap, only 20 digital clearblue for 53 $ which was fairly cheap for those. It is normally around 46 $ for 7 digitals. So I will use the internet cheapies until they darken and then digitals

 

[Eltjuh]

Yay for the digi OPKs!!! Always good when you get a bit of a bargain!! I always buy things like that online cause they tend to be a lot cheaper there!

I don't work either, cause if I did I'd also just be working to pay for LO to go to daycare and if that's the case I'd rather stay at home with him to see him grow up! I don't get why some people still go to work when technically they might just aswell stay at home considering all their money is going to childcare! Ofcourse it would make sense if you need extra money and you earn (just) over what you'd spend on daycare..... It makes it hard though when it comes to looking for work at the moment. Cause I kind of just assume that hubby is gonna be going back to work (once we've moved) but I feel like sometimes that comes across wrong to other people when you say: when Jay is back at work.... they might think I don't want to work, or I think he should work and I should stay at home, which isn't the case at all... I'm just so used to him working and me being at home that it's 'natural' to me.
And I think it would be a lot harder for me to get work as I haven't had a proper job for almost 4 years now! I used to work as an au-pair when I first moved to the UK and then hubby had to move because of work (being in the army does that unfortunately) so I quite my au-pair job and moved with him and got married. And then been looking for work where we moved but only had some crappy sales jobs that cost us more money than I earned so I had to quit them, and whilst I was doing one of those jobs I was pregnant aswell and so tired I HAD to quit anyway cause they kept giving me late appointments when I told them I couldn't handle it.
Anyway, jobs are hard to come by in the UK at the moment! Don't know what it's like over there????

Oh and about the tampons... when I go swimming is the only time I'll wear them so I do put a new one in before I go swimming I usually just use pads and that's all I use.

I'm just about to get ready to leave to take LO to nursery for the first time! Wish me luck!! haha