Aww hunny

Boys don't understand this ttc stuff. My husband called me crazy, and actually meant it, it wasn't quite in the playful way it should have been. I think that if your hubs is depressed and thinks you are better off without him, you leaving to Holland with Lucas might not help him, it might do the opposite. I know you are hurt, but maybe you should try to talk to him about that? Guys don't get affected by all of this craziness like we do. And to be so close and have it taken away must have been so hard, but you can't blame yourself for it.

I think for your own sanity, you should keep trying and take what he says with a grain of salt.
Also, screw bmi. I am overweight as well (I think they classified me as obese actually), but I haven't done itin a while because that is incorrect. My tummy doesn't even go out as far as my boobs. I am not huge, but I could stand to lose about 20 lbs or so. Bmi for a short person with a larger frame (my hips, boobs, shoulders are all much larger than a "petite" size) doesn't work in my opinion. I know I am not obese and they can kiss my ass lol! But doing things like eating well or going for walks are good things to do during pregnancy, so you can start there.
I had a dream I had lots of wattery cm. Isn't that odd? Even my dreams are making me obsess. And the kids know that Rowan most likely has a different dad, but believe the treatments worked and we got pregnant through medical means with an anonymous donor. Vut he looks and behaves a lot like hubby, so sometimes I wonder if one of his guys got through after all. They just needed some competition lol

And we won't be telling Rowan the identity of his donor, there would be too much complication with the donor's family. But we would probably tell him because I could see Derek's kids being mad one day and telling him in order to hurt me.